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''Seven Periods With Mr Gormsby'' is a UsefulNotes/NewZealand comedy series that ran from 2005 to 2006, with two seasons going to air. It aired in New Zealand and UsefulNotes/{{Australia}}.

It revolves around the fictional Tepapawai Boys High School, one of the worst schools, if not ''the'' worst, in New Zealand. In the beginning of the series, the principal, Roger Dascent, needs a teacher for the worst class in school, 5F. Everyone he asks refuses, until in despair, he asks his secretary, Lauren, "Is there ''anyone'' we haven't tried?" She gives him Mr Gormsby's file. Mr Gormsby (played by David Ellis [=McPhail=]) is a sexist, bigoted teacher who is a war veteran and carries a cane with him everywhere he goes, being a great believer in corporal punishment.

Mr Gormsby isn't Dascent's only problem, though- throughout both seasons, he has to deal with the Teachers' Union members going on strike, a school fire, a teacher/student relationship, the demands placed on him by the local Education Review Office reviewer, his own collapse into insanity, a car bombing, the constant lack of funds, incompetent teachers and the impending doom of Tepapawai's possible merger with the local girl's school. Naturally, once Gormsby enters, HilarityEnsues.
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!!Tropes for this series include:
* AbhorrentAdmirer: Marion Patterson to Dasent. He only puts up with her to keep the school open.
* ArmorPiercingQuestion: Gormsby, to Ms O'Flaherty (he's trying to motivate her to learn self-defence from him): "What if [the punching bag] was Steve?" It works beautifully.
* AssholeVictim: Steve ends up having his car firebombed, is arrested for insurance fraud (he was innocent) is accused of downloading child porn and making meth from the back of his car, and loses the job he wanted. And he deserved every little bit.
* BadassTeacher: Gormsby may be a teacher, and an old one at that, but he is ''deadly''.
* BitchInSheepsClothing: Steve. The reason he hates Gormsby so much is that he sees through Steve right away.
--> '''Gormsby''': (teaching a spelling lesson) Bastard. Bastard. Steve from Guidance is a Bastard.
* BlackComedyRape: [[SubvertedTrope Subverted]].
--> '''Gormsby''': Sit down Bastabus, of course I wasn't going to roger you. [[PedophilePriest This isn't a Catholic school]]. [[BatmanGambit It was simply a ruse to make Hohepa take responsiblity for his actions]]
* ButchLesbian and LesbianJock: Ms Tangaroa
* ButtMonkey: Bastabus
* CoolCar: Gormsby's 1960s Wolseley.
* CoolTeacher: Gormsby. Hey, most of what he teaches isn't anywhere near the curriculum, but his students certainly enjoy learning.
* DoWrongRight: Formerly the TropeNamer
* DrillSergeantNasty: Gormsby. Yes, he's not in the army anymore, but that doesn't stop him acting like it.
* DrivenToMadness: Dasent, at the end of Season 1. He gets better.
* EmbarrassingFirstName: Hohepa. His first name is [[spoiler: Elvis.]]
* ExpansionPackPast: Gormsby's stories of life in the army.
* GoodGirlsAvoidAbortion: [[spoiler: After Steve gets Ms O'Flaherty pregnant and forces her to have an abortion, she becomes so depressed that she [[DrivenToSuicide tries to kill herself]]. She only survives because just afterward a fire broke out and she was discovered by the boys of 5F.]]
* HippieTeacher: Steve [[BitchInSheepsClothing seems like this.]]
* InSeriesNickname: Pissant, for Dasent.
* JerkAss: ''Steve.''
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Mr Gormsby
* KickTheSonOfABitch: See AssholeVictim.
* LastNameBasis: Most of 5F, for reasons ranging from 'everyone in class goes by their last name' to 'it's embarrassing' to 'most people can't pronounce it'.
* MeaningfulEcho: "Nice wheels, Steve."
* MolotovCocktail: At one point, Gormsby teaches 5F how to make them in order to help them understand the Russian Revolution.
* [[BritishBrevity New Zealand Brevity]]: Each season only has seven episodes.
** Then again, it is called ''Seven'' Periods with Mr Gormsby, not Twenty-Two.
* NWordPrivileges: Gormsby doesn't have them, but after a while everyone realises that he's not trying to insult them, he's just stuck in the past and still thinks they're acceptable (or he just doesn't care anymore).
* NoBisexuals: After Alasdair [[spoiler:sleeps with Ms O'Flaherty during the school camp]] he is accused of 'going hetero'.
* SadistTeacher / SternTeacher: Gormsby tends to walk the line between these tropes.
* SaveOurStudents: Several times, such as when Tepapawai nearly got merged with the nearby girls' school.
* SeparatedByACommonLanguage: The page quote wouldn't work in America ("substitute teacher") or Britain ("supply teacher"). Also, [[http://tvnz.co.nz/gormsby/govind-686919 Govind's official character page]], "dairy" in this context meaning "convenience store".
* SubordinateExcuse: Lauren, probably the most competent member of Tepapawai's staff, is only staying on as Dasent's secretary because she's in love with him. [[spoiler: He proposes to her during the finale.]]
* TeacherStudentRomance [[spoiler: Ms Partington and Afioga. It doesn't end well.]]
* TeenPregnancy: [[spoiler: Hohepa's girlfriend Sophie. It actually ends quite well- they move in together and he gets to become the assistant Maori teacher.]]
* ThisIsNotADrill: 'Camp Tepapawai', in a rather memorable moment.
* TransparentCloset: Alasdair.
* UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist: ''Everyone''.
* WackyHomeRoom
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