[[quoteright:250:[[VideoGame/{{Portal2}} http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Portal_Wheatley_1943.png]]]]

->"''He's not just a regular moron. [[BlatantLies He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived.]]''"
-->--'''SelfDemonstrating/{{GLaDOS}}''', on me.
-->''Wait, wait, wait. How did this get here? Seriously, '''[[ThatLiarLies don't trust her.]]'''''

Hello! So, uh...yes. This is...a page. My page. All mine. Nothing to do with...[[SelfDemonstrating/{{GLaDOS}} Her...]]

So, yes. This is my page. It's, um, very nice. A little bit sparse, but y'know, working on it. Why don't you go ahead and read it? I mean, it's no [[Literature/ThePrince Machiavelli]]- which I've read, by the way- but it's very interesting. You'll notice it's a ''great'' deal more readable than ''her'' page, as I'm not changing the capitalization or the little teensy writing style every third letter or so. Nope, not good Ol' Wheatley -- consistency is my middle name! You get to just sit back, read in comfort, and imagine that I'm talking to you in the kind of smooth, chipper Bristolian accent you might associate with [[Creator/StephenMerchant very tall, very blonde, very... um... bespectacled British comedians.]]

Also, on an unrelated note, anyone kind enough to conduct some kind of [[spoiler:space rescue mission]] for me or if someone happens to pass by [[spoiler:near the moon, [[http://youtu.be/yok7eyyKM3Q here are my coordinates]].]]

Huh? Why are those words invisible? Hold on, just wait a bit I can fix it... wait a bit... I can... ... Err... while we're waiting, why don't you feel free to [[SchmuckBait highlight that line]]? [[BlatantLies Trust me, there's no spoiler in that spoiler tag.]] Especially big [[spoiler:endgame]] spoilers about myself. Hey, there it is again! Wonder why that is?
----
!!What's a trope? Is this a trope? ...''These'' are tropes, aren't they. Ooh. My bad, my bad. Blame me. Blame the innocent little core. Just like humans.


* {{Adorkable}}: I'm handsome! I'm dashing, really. Not a dork. Not a moron. Handsome. Not awkward, not dorky. Just...just dashing.
* AffablyEvil: [[spoiler:"Affable" is a good thing, right?'']]
* AIIsACrapshoot: Oh, way to keep it classy.
* TheAlcoholic: [[spoiler: I just- I just ''had'' to test.]]
* AllGirlsLikePonies: And boybands...right?
* AndIMustScream: [[spoiler:Yeah, what with all that, floating around the moon, spacey-stuff... thing... Actually I could scream if I wanted to, but the only one who's gonna hear me is that space guy. ''sigh''...]]
* TheAtoner: [[spoiler:I'm sorry, I really am. I was out of control.]]
* BaseBreaker: I would like to take a moment to thank those who have found it in their heart to forgive me. I understand that others are still mad.
* BerserkButton: '''''I AM NOT A MORON!!!!!'''''
* {{Bishounen}}: You wouldn't think it to look at me, would you? But I can be, um, quite charming when I want to be. *seductive upper railing waggle* I'm ''especially'' dashing in the fanart.
* BoobyTrap: I know how to get around them ''and'' how to make them.
* BossBattle: [[spoiler: Oooh, that sounds very impressive, doesn't it?]]
** FinalBoss: [[spoiler: Oooh, even better! More definitive and climactic sounding!]]
* BlatantLies: They told me if I ever detached from the rail or turned on my flashlight I would die! Can you believe that? Honestly, I don't know why they gave me these things if they didn't want me to use them.
* BrainwashedAndCrazy: [[spoiler:Yeah, you try being stuck in ''HER'' body, and see how well you hold up.]]
* BriefAccentImitation: Funny story... I THOUGHT that speaking in a different accent would mean ''she'' wouldn't be able to hear me. Yeah, that didn't work out too well...
* [[UsefulNotes/BritishAccents British Accent]]: Yeah, I've got one. Makes me sound pretty distinguished, doesn't it? More specifically, it's a Bristolian accent, so, you know. Distinguished. Can you believe they were going to give me a [[OopNorth Northern accent]]? Glad that worked out otherwise.
* BuffySpeak: [[spoiler:You versus me, Holmes versus Moriarty, Aristotle versus MASHY SPIKE PLATE!]]
* TheCameo: I may just happen to appear [[spoiler:floating around the skills screen]] in an official GameMod for ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim''.
* CuteMachines: ''Of course.''
* ContinueYourMissionDammit: I spy something that starts with the letter F. It's the floor, which is where you left me. Please pick me up. I spy something else that starts with the letter A. Also the floor. Pick me up.
** Remember when you picked me up five seconds ago? That was amazing, do it again.
* DangerouslyGenreSavvy: [[spoiler: See? Not a moron!]]
* EvilIsPetty: [[spoiler: I wasn't ''that'' bad, was I?]]
* FaceHeelTurn: [[spoiler: Weeeeell...yes...]]
* FacelessEye: Oooh, I have one of those! Well, technically my whole body is one. Guess I don't have much of a body outside of that, do I?
* FanGirl: They won't leave me alone...
* FantasticArousal: [[spoiler: I reaaaally like it when you complete the tests.]]
* FantasticRacism: Don't get me started on smelly humans ... Oh, wait. That came out wrong.
* FeigningIntelligence: Not feigning! But [[PerfectlyCromulentWord geinfing]]! See what I did there? I just ''invented'' a brand new word... using nothing but the power of my mind.
** Ooh, will you look at that? I'm the page image! That's what I call recognition!
* GratuitousSpanish: ''[[Music/PinkMartini ¿Dónde estas, dónde estás, Yolanda?]]'' See what I did there? I just politely asked to take a little midday nap. ...Okay, I might not know what I'm saying in Spanish, but I can always look it up.
* HeelFaceDoorSlam: [[spoiler: You might not have heard (and that's understandable; I was only unplugged a few seconds before getting thrown into space), but I actually was sorry about the things I did.]]
* HeightAngst: A whole sector full of nanobots, and who's the ''one'' fellow they pick on? That's right, the oversized ID core. I'll have you know I am ''quite'' a normal size compared to the other Cores! I'll see you in court.
* IdiotBall: That's... that's brilliant, that is. Low. Thanks for the hate crime, mate.
* ImageSong: "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEPZ-drnUKE Wheatley's Song]]." A bit of a collaboration between me and Music/MiracleOfSound. '''I''' did most of the work, though, you know, what with me being a genius and all.
* InformedFlaw: The idiot thing. I'm really very clever.
* InnocentBlueEyes: Well, innocent blue ''eye'' anyway. Much more trustworthy than ''[[{{Glados}} her]]'' [[YellowEyesOfSneakiness Yellow Eye of Sneakiness,]] if you ask me. Honestly, who would trust a person with a yellow eye? You'd have to be pretty desperate, [[spoiler: dropped down into a deep mine shaft]] or something...you know...just as a hypothetical example.
* ItsAllAboutMe: ''I'' did this. Tiny little Wheatley made this entire page. And single-handedly defeated ''her'' while you sat around.
* LogicBomb: What, that stupid "This question is false" thing? Easy. The answer is "true".
* MotorMouth: ''Well''... technically, a motor mouth would have to be a mouth that is powered by a motor, and seeing that... wait... Oh, right, I'm all motors, aren't I? BUT... But I ''don't'' have a mouth. No mouth. Just an eye. A big blue eye... with eyelids... that move whenever I talk... like a mouth. You know what? I'm just gonna go on record saying that I'm NOT a motor mouth.. because... ugh.. yeah, I got nothing.
* MrFanservice: ''Weeell...''
* NoodleIncident: You're never gonna believe it. After [[{{Glados}} she]] crushed me, I was sure I was done for. Than this bird comes in ...
* KnowNothingKnowItAll: Hey! I know plenty of stuff! ''I am not a moron''.
* NonHumanSidekick: Sidekick? Hardly! Especially not to a human...er, not that there's anything wrong with that.
* NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat: Really, some of my best friends are adopted. And human. Human and adopted.
* PercussiveMaintenance: It's called "hacking." An' I can't do it while you're watching. I really can't.
* PsychoSerum: [[spoiler: I don't know why I did those horrible things. As soon as I was plugged in I went mad.]]
* PunctuatedForEmphasis: I! AM NOT! A MORON!
* TheCakeIsALie: I- I don't even know what this means. Why is it here?
* TooDumbToFool: More like too SMART to...fool! Yes! In fact you know what I'm actually ''paradox-proof'', actually.
* UnexplainedRecovery: Oh, you mean after ''she'' crushed me like a grape? Well, it's really very sim-- ''Ahhh! Life flashing in front of optic again!'' Sorry, that... that keeps happening every time I try to discuss it. Let's just move on, shall we?
* YankTheDogsChain: [[spoiler: It wasn't very kind of Valve to tell me I'm getting a award launched at me! Only to get actually hit in the face with said award. Not kind at all! ...I thought I was going home.]]

----
->'''SelfDemonstrating/{{Wheatley}}:''' Where do you think you are going? Come back!
->'''Announcer:''' Stalemate Resolution Associate: Please press the ''Back'' button or any of the provided links in this page.
->'''SelfDemonstrating/{{GLaDOS}}:''' Go press the button! Go press it!
->'''Wheatley:''' Don't press it! We're not quite done yet. Look, look, I can make things up. Umm,...
->'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' We're so close! Go press the button!
->'''Wheatley:''' Do not. Press. That. Button.
->'''[=GLaDOS=]:''' Do press it!
->'''Wheatley:''' Don't press the button!

[[SelfDemonstrating/GLaDOS Stalemate Resolution Button]]
----