->''"All that glitters is not gold. Particularly that thing over there. That's maybe a giant insect of some sort. It's really too dark to tell. Welcome to Night Vale."''

Cecil tells the listeners about buying Girl Scout cookies from his niece, and updates us on Khoshekh's condition.

!!Tropes present in ''Cookies'' include:

* PlanetOfSteves: All people in the radiostation's selling department are named "Shawn".
* ThatCameOutWrong: Manager Laureen annouces that Strexcorp. is supportive to the talented Girl Scouts, and would like to hunt them--...wait, scratch that-- they'll like to find and meet this girls.

->''"Today's proverb: At your smallest components, you are indistinguishable from a forest fire."''