->''"Velvet darkness. Silken light. The rough burlap of evening. The frayed cotton of daybreak. Welcome to Night Vale."''

Cecil is accidentally put up for auction, and tries to get to the auction house before someone else buys him.

!!Tropes present in ''The Auction'' include:

* AndIMustScream: Cecil's description of your consciousness surviving after death.
* AuctionOfEvil: The Night Vale Sheriff's Secret Police hold an auction of seized goods, including an original X-Men comic, a glowing coin, and one community radio host.
* ExactWords: One auctioneer wins a box of Elvis Presley 45s. That is, Elvis Presley's .45 revolvers.
* TheNothingAfterDeath: Discussed in this episode's Children's Fun Fact Science Corner -- Cecil opines that there's nothing to fear from oblivion, as long as [[CessationOfExistence your consciousness doesn't survive death]]. But if it does, the "sensation of consciousness without senses" is a nightmarish prospect he thinks is perfectly reasonable to fear.
* WhamLine: This episode first presents itself as a breather after the previous one. Then Cecil reads the description of Lot 37.

->''"Today's proverb: Listen. I’m not a hero. The real heroes are the people that point out to us when protesters have smartphones, thus invalidating all concerns."''