->''"Trumpets playing soft jazz from out of the dark desert distance. They come tomorrow. It is too late for us. Welcome to Night Vale."''

Cecil tells us about The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home (and later reads a message from her), and about the texts he's been getting from Intern Dana who is [[CallBack still trapped in the Dog Park]]. On the plus side, she's struck up a friendship with the Man in the Tan Jacket. Also more about Khoshekh and his kittens.

!! Tropes present in ''Faceless Old Woman'' include:

* TheBlank: The Faceless Old Woman, presumably, since she's faceless. Cecil wonders how she could have recorded messages without a face, or a mouth.
* CallBack: To Intern Dana being stuck in the Dog Park, and the floating kittens.
* DissonantSerenity: Cecil, as usual. Even if it's about himself.
-->'''Cecil''': As my mother used to tell me, “Someone’s going to kill you one day, Cecil, and it will involve a mirror. Mark my words, child!” And then she would stare absently through my eyes until I giggled. Ah, I miss her so much.
* OddFriendship: Between Intern Dana and the Man in the Tan Jacket, who she says is actually nice and "a pretty cool guy if you get to know him". She still can't remember what he looks like, though.

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->''"Today's proverb: The human soul weighs 21 grams, smells like grilled vegetables, looks like a wrinkled tartan quilt, and sounds like bridge traffic."''