Episode - 3F15\\
First Aired - 3/24/1996

When Troy [=McClure=] ([[RunningGag you may remember him from such Simpsons episodes as "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular" and "Lisa the Vegetarian"!]]) is sentenced to renew his driver's license after getting pulled over for erratic driving, he meets Selma (who is still looking for a man so she can have a family and not die alone) and decides to marry her to revive his moribund movie career (which fizzled out due to bad project choices and the urban legend that he is sexually attracted to fish, which got him in trouble at the Springfield Aquarium), which Selma has no problem with -- until Troy's agent wants Troy and Selma to have a baby.

!!Tropes:

* BabiesMakeEverythingBetter: PlayedForDrama -- Troy's agent wants Troy and Selma to have a baby, but Troy doesn't know the first thing about sex with a real woman and Selma doesn't want to bring a child into a sham marriage.
* TheBeard: Selma, for Troy (only Troy isn't gay, just [[BestialityIsDepraved allegedly sexually attracted to sea life]]).
* BitingTheHandHumor: The final line reveals 20th Century Fox is willing to produce Troy's ridiculously outdated-sounding vanity project.
* BrutalHonesty:
--> Selma: Is this a sham marriage!?
--> Troy: Sure, baby. Is that a problem?
* ByTheLightsOfTheirEyes: "Marge, could you close your eyes? I'm trying to sleep."
* CareerResurrection: Troy undergoes one after marrying Selma.
* CharacterDevelopment: The entire point of the episode was to provide this for Troy.
** ADayInTheLimelight: For Troy [=McClure=] and Selma. The Simpsons do appear, but they're pretty much the supporting cast.
* EarthAllAlong: A line from ''[[PlanetOfTheApes Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off]]'' is the TropeNamer.
* EveryoneHasStandards: Selma may be a jerk to her brother-in-law, Homer, on many occasions and not seem to mind that she's being used to help Troy [=McClure=]'s career, but she refuses to have a baby with him, as she feels bringing a child into a sham marriage will negatively affect the kid.
* TheFantasticTropeOfWonderousTitles: ''The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel'' currently provides this trope's page image.
* HypocriticalHumor
-->'''Parker:''' Paramount wants you to star in a buddy comedy with Rob Lowe and Hugh Grant.
-->'''Troy:''' Those ''sick '''freaks?!'''''[[note]]for those who don't get the joke, Rob Lowe caught heat for recording a sex tape with a minor and Hugh Grant was caught with a black prostitute named Divine Brown. The fact that Troy calls them out for being freaks is hypocritical, as Troy has been accused of being sexually attracted to fish[[/note]]
* ImGoingToDisneyWorld: Troy's reaction to the possibility of being [=McBain=]'s sidekick:
-->''Hot damn! I'm going to Sea World!''
* INeedAFreakingDrink: When Troy tries to have sex with Selma to conceive a child, he just keeps making roaring noise at the door of their bedroom. Selma wants to break the ice and offers him some wine. He quickly runs to the bed, empties both glasses, and returns to the door to continue with the roaring.
* InkSuitActor: [=MacArthur=] Parker looks like his voice actor, JeffGoldblum.
* JerkassHasAPoint: Troy is able to win over Selma by talking about the benefits she gets out of the sham marriage.
* PunnyName: [=MacArthur=] Parker is one on the song "[=MacArthur=] Park".
* RippedFromTheHeadlines: The premise of a celebrity marrying solely to convince the public that they have non-deviant sexual urges may have been inspired by the failed MichaelJackson-Lisa Marie Presley marriage, which ended a few months before this episode ran and was widely suspected of being a career-reviving ploy. (Columnist Jonah Goldberg actually referenced this episode in a ''National Review'' piece in 2005, as Jackson's child molestation trial was nearing its end.)
* ShoutOut: The musical ''Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off!'', in addition to being a parody of ''PlanetOfTheApes'', also contains the number "Dr. Zaius", set to a SuspiciouslySimilarSong to Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus". See also PunnyName above.
* SpeakNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace: Subverted; it looks like Homer might object, but he's too busy humming the tune to Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll, Part 2" in his head.
* TheOtherDarrin: Normally, Joe Mantegna voices Fat Tony whenever Fat Tony appears on ''TheSimpsons''. However, for this episode, PhilHartman (who already spent most of the episode as Troy [=McClure=]) voiced Fat Tony (in the short part where Fat Tony tells one of his mooks that when he said that Troy [=McClure=] sleeps with the fishes, he didn't mean it in the sense of "The Mafia encased his feet in cement and drowned him").
* TheUnreveal: Troy's "abnormality" is purposefully alluded to but never spelled out (most likely due to censorship reasons, but Fat Tony's line about Troy [=McClure=] "sleeping with the fishes" -- which, in this case, doesn't mean that Troy was drowned by the Mafia -- is about as close to alluding to Troy's sexual fetish as primetime TV will allow)
* WeirdAside: How Homer lets the truth slip:
-->'''Marge:''' It was a beautiful wedding. I don't think I've seen Selma happier.
-->'''Homer:''' That reminds me Troy said something interesting last night at the bar. Apparently he doesn't really love Selma and the marriage is just a sham to help his career. Well, enough talk. Let's snuggle.
-->'''Marge:''' WHAT?!
* YouMightRememberMeFrom: It's a Troy episode, so this trope is all over the place.