Episode - 2F09\\
First Aired - 1/8/1995

After noticing that his buddies Lenny and Carl are privy to a lot of perks, Homer spies on them -- and discovers that they're part of a Freemasons-esque secret society called "The Stonecutters."
!!This episode contains examples of:
* AffectionateParody: The Stonecutters are a parody of the Freemasons and Illuminati.
* AGodAmI: Homer's attitude after becoming TheChosenOne.
-->'''Homer:''' I've always wondered if there was a god, and now I know there is -- and it's me.
** Subverted when Homer grows bored with all the stuff he gets, and decides to use his power over the Stonecutters for charity... Only for them to misinterpret his good intentions as a poorly-disguised excuse to ''perpetuate'' that trope.
* AllThereInTheManual: An event in ''VideoGame/TheSimpsonsTappedOut'', released nearly two decades after the episode aired, finally revealed the numbers of the other Springfield Stonecutters (except for Sideshow Mel, Herman, Barney, Mr. Largo, Kirk Van Houten, and Apu, who never got Stonecutter costumes for whatever reason):
** Dr. Hibbert is #2.
** Jasper is #5.
** Moe is #21.
** Mayor Quimby is #22.
** Krusty is #36
** Chief Wiggum is #50.
** The martian is [[Area51 #51]]. He's even called by his number in the game.
** Smithers is #59.
** Principal Skinner is #60.
** Kent Brockman is #66.
** Arnie Pye is #67.
** Groundskeeper Willy is #85.
** Grampa is #111.
* AnAesop: Homer learns two of them. The main one being LonelyAtTheTop, and the secondary one NoChallengeEqualsNoSatisfaction.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: Grandpa: "I'm an Elk, a Mason, a Communist, I'm the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance [[NoodleIncident for some reason]]..."
* {{Atlantis}}: The Stonecutters are apparently responsible for keeping it off the maps.
* BaitAndSwitch:
** When Homer accidentally intrudes upon a meeting between the Stonecutters while attempting to spy on them, the Stonecutters ominously declare that he must pay "the ultimate price", implying that they intend to kill him to maintain their secrecy... only to anticlimatically throw him out of their hideout.
** Done when the Stonecutters learn Homer is their chosen one, while he's already naked and dragging the Stone of Shame.
-->'''Number One:''' Remove the Stone of Shame!\\
'''Homer:''' Woohoo!\\
'''Number One:''' Attach the Stone of ''Triumph!''\\
''(An even bigger rock is chained to Homer's neck)''\\
'''Homer:''' D'oh!
* BrickJoke:
** The "No Homers" club.
** Homer's idea of using a bunch of monkeys to re-enact the Civil War.
* ButtMonkey: Homer, over the course of this episode, has his basement flooded, breaks his chair, falls through a glass ceiling, is forcibly ejected from the Stonecutters' meeting, falls five stories and is paddled to bejesus during his initiation, is chained to a very large rock while naked, and is abandoned by the Stonecutters when he tries to turn them into a force for good. Even after all that, he ends up getting paddled ''again'', this time by his own family.
* CallBack: On Homer's "revenge" list, one of the names is "H-2-Whoa!", the water ride Homer got stuck inside in season 2's "Brush With Greatness".
* ChirpingCrickets: Happens when Homer tells the Stonecutters that they should dedicate themselves to helping the less fortunate, either due to poor communication and inadvertently making it sound like an order and not a request, or because it just happened to make them think he's gone mad with power and would kill those who disobey.
* TheChosenOne: Homer turns out to be the Stonecutters prophesied leader, and they immediately make him the head of their society.
* CoolChair: Standard issue for all Stonecutters. They even vibrate.
* DescriptionCut: As Homer sits at home talking to his family about how everything's going well, and that as long as the Stonecutters are behind him he's making the world a better place, the scene immediately cuts to the Stonecutters meeting, and Moe angrily declaring they have to kill him because they're misinterpreting Homer's good intentions as "going mad with power".
* EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys: After he gets bored with the Stonecutters and Lisa inspires him to help others in need, Homer decides to round up some monkeys and make them re-enact the Civil War (which Lisa quickly points out doesn't actually help people). The plan predictably falls through.
* ExactWords / OneSteveLimit: The "No Homer'''s'''" wouldn't let Homer Simpson in because they already had somebody else named Homer.
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: "The Paddling of the Swollen Ass... with Paddles!" By the time Homer receives it, his ass is probably swollen by the previous paddling sessions.
* FlatJoy:
** When the Stonecutters declare Homer the winner of a fixed game of Blackjack:
-->'''Homer:''' Oh, I win again, don't I? Woo hoo.
** Also done when Homer wants to talk to Lisa while she's in class.
-->'''Skinner:''' The grand exalted leader requests a moment of your time. ''(claps hands)'' Class dismissed!
-->''(The children immediately rush out cheering)''
-->'''Mrs. Hoover:''' ''Yay.''
* {{Foreshadowing}}: Moe was in the process of explaining to Homer about TheChosenOne, only for Homer to stop caring. Funny too, since he ''is'' TheChosenOne.
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar: Homer says people must be at least eighteen years old to be taught the Stonecutters' version of Davy Crockett's death.
* GoodFeelsGood: Homer gets more satisfaction from using the Stonecutters to do good deeds than he did from having them worship him. The other Stonecutters, unfortunately, disagree.
* HandGagging: Bart does this to Lisa under Homer's order when she, once again, annoys him with her pointless lectures.
* TheIlluminati: This episode gloriously mocks every aspect of the very notion of a clandestine, privileged society. While the Stonecutters '''do''' wield considerable power (evidenced by their song), [[BrotherhoodOfFunnyHats they use it to basically congratulate themselves and]] "[[TheHedonist get drunk and play ping-pong]]."
* InitiationCeremony:
** Part of Homer's initiation is having his behind paddled in different ways, one of which is [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "The Paddling of the Swollen Ass... with Paddles!"]].
** At the end of the episode, Homer's family gives him a similar initiation into their "club".
-->'''Homer:''' This club better be worth it!
* {{Irony}}: The Stonecutters start growing sick of Chosen One Homer when they misinterpret his having them do charity as an excuse to make them thralls and think he's become a mad dictator.
* JustJokingJustification: During this episode's blackboard gag, Bart writes that saying you're just joking doesn't justify insulting the principal.
* KidsAreCruel: Homer mentions he's been excluded all his life, even having a flashback to an example in his childhood. Marge uses this trope by name. Bart, passing by, uses this as an excuse to attack Lisa.
* LoopholeAbuse: When the Stonecutters realized Homer would still rule their lives for as long as they were Stonecutters, they became "No Homers".
* MundaneMadeAwesome: After Homer joins, the Stonecutters celebrate their one hundredth anniversary, and in honour of the occasion, they're havin' ribs.
* MurderIsTheBestSolution: Moe, and then three of the four Stonecutter World Council members, think killing Homer would be the best solution.
* NakedPeopleAreFunny: Part of Homer's punishment for being kicked out of the Stonecutters is burning all his official Stonecutter clothing. He's then forced to drag a rock home naked. It becomes funny when he's discovered to be the Chosen One... and in their celebration, they forget to give him his clothes back.
* NoodleIncident:
** Precisely what Billy Crystal, the Grammys, and Soloflex did to earn spots on Homer's revenge list is left to the viewer's imagination (God, Grandpa, and Bart's presences on the list are somewhat more self-explanatory). Equally unclear is the origin of Homer's feud with the "Egg Council".
** Grandpa is somehow, much to his own confusion, president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance.
* NotHelpingYourCase: When Homer ruins the Stonecutters' parchment, he pleads them not to kick him out, claiming he learned his lesson. However, he subsequently punches the parchment as he exclaims, "[[PunctuatedPounding I've... learned... my... les-son!]]".
-->'''Number One''': [[LampshadeHanging For your continuing and]] ''[[LampshadeHanging baffling]]'' [[LampshadeHanging desecration of our sacred parchment...]]
* OffModel: Carl's skin is briefly colored yellow during the Stonecutters' song.
* OffTheWagon: PlayedForLaughs when Homer lists off the activities that the Stonecutters indulge in:
-->'''Homer''': Beer busts, beer blasts, keggers, stein hoists, ''AA meetings'', beer night...
* TheOmniscientCouncilOfVagueness: Subverted: All they like to do is party.
* PoorCommunicationKills: This would have happened when Homer declared the Stonecutters were going to help the less fortunate and unwittingly made it sound like he was going to rule their lives and kill those who refused to obey him. Instead, the Stonecutters decided to form the Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers. So it's now "Poor Communication Leads to Abandomment".
* RuleOfThree: Lenny nearly blowing the Stonecutters by mentioning "it's a secret", only to be told by Carl to shut up. In the third one, Carl's busy drinking a cola, so Homer has to do it for him.
* SavedByThePlatformBelow: Subverted. One of the trials is the "Leap of Faith," a five story plunge where they push you off a ledge and you fall five stories - but it's really only a few feet. Homer falls the few feet, everyone laughs, and then the floor gives way sending Homer on a genuine five story plunge.
* SayingTooMuch: After Homer sees the Stonecutter meeting, he confronts Lenny and Carl the next day. Carl tries to play dumb, but Lenny outright gives him the name, to Carl's annoyance.
-->'''Carl:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, well. It was a real nice secret organization we had once.]]
* SecretCircleOfSecrets: The Stonecutters is a secret organization, though nevertheless quite a lot of Springfieldians are members. [[Film/PoliceAcademy Steve Guttenberg]], Creator/MrT, Creator/JackNicholson, UsefulNotes/GeorgeHWBush, and even a Martian (named Number 51) are apparently Stonecutters as well.
* SecretHandshake: Homer reveals himself as a Stonecutter to the Stern Lecture plumber this way.
* SophisticatedAsHell: Creator/PatrickStewart as "Number One", given his Shakespearean method of communication and deep, rich baritone can have this effect, especially with lines like this:
-->'''Number One''' ''(solemnly)'': Tonight is our glorious ancient society's fifteen-and-hundredth anniversary, and in honor of this momentous occasion... ''({{Beat}}, grinning from ear-to-ear)'' ''...We're havin' ribs!''
* SpecialGuest: Creator/PatrickStewart as "Number One"
* StartMyOwn: Not wanting to be ruled by Homer, the Stonecutters leave him and start another organization.
* TemptingFate: When Homer follows Lenny and Carl to a Stonecutter meeting, he sits upon their hideout's skylight, giggling, "I can see everything and they're none the wiser!" Then the skylight shatters and he falls in.
* {{Unishment}}:
--> '''Homer:''' I swear that, if I ever reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, that my stomach shall become bloated, and my head plucked of all but three hairs.\\
'''Moe:''' Um, I think he should have to take a different oath.\\
'''Number One:''' Everybody takes the same oath!
* YouAreNumberSix: All the members of the Stonecutters have numbers depending on their initiation. The Stonecutters' leader is known as Number 1. As numbers 12 and 14 respectively, Lenny and Carl outrank Mr. Burns, who's number 29. Homer is initiated as number 908.