Bart tries to save his new cow from the slaughterhouse and ends up nearly married to a hillbilly girl named Mary.

!! Tropes:
* BaitAndSwitch: During the montage of Bart and Lou bonding, Bart is handling a branding iron, making it look like he's about to brand Lou...but he's actually making a collar sign for him.
* ABoyAndHisX: A Boy and His Cow in this case; Bart tries to save his new cow from the slaughterhouse.
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: As their theme song says, the transclown-o-morphs are "transforming clowns that morph."
* MeaningfulName: Mary got her name because she's the one her parents expected to get married. Yes, the Spucklers were that crazy.
-->'''Cletus:''' Isn't that right, Stabbedinjail?
-->'''Stabbedinjail:''' ''(wielding a whittled spear)'' We'll see who stabs who.
* MerchandiseDriven: The transforming clowns that morph use their show to sell their cereal. When they're losing, one of them says it's because someone isn't buying it.
* ShowWithinAShow: Transclown-O-Morphs
* SpitTake: Upon hearing about Bart getting married, Homer's ''[[RuleOfFunny sock puppet]]'' does this.
* TakeThat:
** "4-H: It's ''still'' a thing."
** When Bart is bundling manure, the bundles come out as ''[[Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanAtWorldsEnd Pirates of the Caribbean 3]]''.
** Similarly, the opening gag is a dig at Merchandise-driven franchises such as ''Franchise/{{Transformers}}'', and product placement in general.
** The way cows are farmed takes a pretty hard hit.
-->'''Bart:''' Wow, Lou, what happened to you? You got fat.
-->'''Lisa:''' Of course he got fat. The food he ate was laced with growth hormones.
-->''(Lou licks Bart's arm, which then grows hairy)''