[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_way_we_werent.jpg]]
'''Original air date:''' 5/9/2004 ''(produced in 2003)''

'''Production code:''' FABF-13

Homer and Marge recall the story of their first kiss at summer camp when they were children, where Homer betrayed Marge by standing her up on their second date.

!! Tropes:

* AccidentalKiss: Between Milhouse and ''Homer'' when the kids play Spin the Bottle and Sherri and Terri's cute cousin moves out of the way just as Homer is ascending the treehouse ladder. Homer is disgusted, but Milhouse is happy enough.
* AllForNothing: Marge really does not take it well when she finds out that the boy who would become her husband didn't stand her up and she's been nursing a heartache her whole life for nothing.
* AlreadyMetEveryone: Homer and Marge had their ForgottenFirstMeeting when Homer was attending the summer camp where he met Lenny, Carl and Moe. Meanwhile, Marge's fellow campers at the girls' camp included Helen, Luann, and Cookie Kwan.
* ArtisticLicense: Homer injures his eye by holding a switchblade directly in front of his eye and pressing the button. Switchblades are spring-loaded side folding knives, so the blade would have hit the side of his head, not his eye.
* AsYouKnow: At the fat camp, the camp's councilor attempts to get some help for a young Comic Book Guy.
-->'''Councilor:''' We've got an emergency here. We need 10 cc's pronto. And by "cc's", I mean cupcakes.
-->'''Man:''' [[LampshadeHanging I know what you mean, Bill.]] I've worked here longer than you.
* AwesomeMcCoolName: When the other girls tease Marge by saying the boy who returned her retainer might be named "Big Ugly Homer," Homer identifies himself as [[Music/ElvisPresley Elvis]] [[Music/MickJagger Jagger]] [[Creator/KareemAbdulJabbar Abdul-Jabbar]].
* BreakingTheFourthWall: When Marge's request for Homer under the fake name he gave her is [[MistakenForPrankCall mistaken for a prank call]] by Moe, who gives her [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon the kind of peculiar threat]] [[RunningGag he'll later level at Bart under similar circumstances]].
-->'''Moe:''' ''(AsideGlance)'' And that's the origin of that.
* CassandraTruth: The guards at Fat Camp didn't believe it when the young pudgy Homer said he wasn't a camper there.
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: When Marge tells Homer that he won't be kissing anyone after finding out that he was the boy who stood her up Homer asks if he can still kiss her.
* ContinuityNod:
** When Homer explains that Marge forgave worse things than standing her up, he recalls events from [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS6E19LisasWedding "Lisa's Wedding"]], [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS9E5TheCartridgeFamily "The Cartridge Family"]], and [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS14E10PrayAnything "Pray Anything"]].
** Notice the way young Homer tumbles down the cliff. [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS2E8BartTheDaredevil Look familiar?]]
** Bart mentions that he's already kissed three girls. He's presumably talking about Laura Powers in "New Kid On the Block," Jessica Lovejoy in "Bart's Girlfriend," and Gina Vendetti in "The Wandering Juvie."
* ContrivedCoincidence: Circumstances conspire to make Homer and Marge fail to recognize each other when they meet again in high school. Most improbably, Patty, Helen and Cookie Kwan make fun of the idea that Marge's unseen crush might have a "low-rent name," suggesting "Homer" as a possibility, to which Marge says, "Oh, I'm sure it's a much nicer name than 'Homer,'" causing him to invent a fake name on the spot. (Marge's name simply never comes up at all.)
* DoesNotLikeMen: Marge was so heartbroken by Homer standing up on their second date (which isn't really Homer's fault, as he fell off a cliff right after the first date, and found himself in a fat camp), that she started to hate males. She grew out of it when she met Homer in high school.
* FailedASpotCheck: Nobody at the fat camp bothered to confirm that Homer was actually supposed to be there, having only assumed because he's chubby (yet nowhere near as fat as the other kids).
* FencePainting: Bart does this to Milhouse and Ralph.
-->'''Milhouse:''' I don't understand this game, Bart. How come we have to rake your lawn while you just get to sit there?
-->'''Bart:''' Because I'm "it." Now whoever finishes first gets lemonade. ''(Milhouse and Ralph cheer.)'' For me.
-->'''Milhouse:''' ''(to Ralph)'' [[StronglyWordedLetter Later when we wash his bike, I'm not gonna do a good job]].
* FirstKiss: Homer and Marge had theirs when they met each other for the first time as kids.
* FirstLove: Rather ironically Homer and Marge discover that they were each other's first loves back when they shared a summer fling when they first met as children under different circumstances.
* FloatingTimeline: Homer lampshades this when he begins recalling his first kiss when he was ten noting that it occurred "back in the 60s, or 50's, or maybe it was the early 70's."
* ForgottenFirstMeeting: Unbeknownst to present day Homer and Marge, ''this'' is when they first met. The reason they didn't realise it until now is because Homer was wearing an eyepatch and had chosen a fake name while Marge had accidently made her hair brown when she was ironing it in order to straightening it and hadn't given her name at all.
* HehHehYouSaidX:
-->'''Bart:''' Face it, Lis. Men are dogs. The worse we treat you, the more you want us.
-->'''Lisa:''' That's not what dogs do!
-->'''Bart:''' ''(laughing)'' You said "dog doo!"
-->'''Homer:''' ''(laughing)'' She sure did!
* HistoricalPersonPunchline: Homer finds a letter from his childhood pen pal.
-->'''Homer:''' Someday, I’ll write you back, [[UsefulNotes/OsamaBinLaden Osama]].
* IHaveToGoIronMyDog: After seeing how awkward things are between Marge and Homer, Lisa drags Bart with her to their rooms saying they're going to go to bed now.
* ImagineSpot: After Homer and Marge share their first kiss the two each have their own one of these, with Marge flying through space as a moon before kissing Homer who is a sun, while Homer proceeds to fly through various lands full of food stuffs whilst eating everything in sight, culminating in him drinking the Kool-Aid Man's juice, causing him to fall over and his body to shatter, framing Marge and Homer in reality.
* InformedFlaw: Homer ends up missing his second date with Marge because he ended up floating over to the fat camp and the councilor doesn't believe he wasn't meant to be there. While Homer is chubby, he certainly isn't as overweight as the other kids at the camp.
* InnocentlyInsensitive:
** When Marge's friends maliciously say the boy who helped her probably has a lousy name like "Homer", Marge says he probably has a cooler name.
** Homer—meeting Carl for the first time—calls him a “negro”. Carl quickly corrects him with “Black”, which to which Homer is equally impressed.
* ItsAllMyFault: Homer blames himself for ruining Lisa's marriage in the future, but Lisa dumped Hugh of her own volition when he refused to wear the Simpson family's cufflinks and wanted to cut ties with Lisa's family for good. [[RiddleForTheAges How he knows about the events of Lisa's future wedding is anyone's guess]].
* {{Kidanova}}: When Homer points out to a teasing Bart that he's kissed one more girl than Bart has ever kissed, Bart retorts that he's kissed three.
* LoveAtFirstSight: ''Before'' first sight, even; Marge and Homer have their first conversation through a wall and are already smitten.
* LoveHurts: Because of a series of events which led to Homer missing his second date with Marge, seemingly standing her up, the two of them left camp broken hearted and it would take years for them to recover until, rather ironically enough, they met each other again in high school.
* LovingBully: Bart's response to seeing Sherri and Terri's cute cousin is "I wouldn't mind pushing ''that'' in the mud."
* MissedHimByThatMuch: Homer manages to escape fat camp on the back of truck and makes it to the girl's side of the camp, unfortunately he gets there just after Marge is driven away by her mother.
* MistakenForPedophile: After Homer and Marge talk through the wall of the kitchen and arrange their date, the Sea Captain takes Homer across the lake to meet her. She only sees the Sea Captain at first, to her horror, and is ''very'' relieved when Homer reveals himself.
* MistakenForPrankCall: When Marge phones Homer's camp and asks for the phony name he gave her, Moe mistakes it for a prank.
* OpenMouthInsertFoot: Marge's never called out on it but, instead of telling her friends there's nothing wrong with a name like "Homer", she says she's sure the boy has a better name.
* OriginsEpisode: Lampshaded in the MistakenForPrankCall that Marge makes. Moe [[BreakingTheFourthWall turns to the camera]] and says, "and that's the origin of that."
* SeriesContinuityError:
** Milhouse calls Homer his FirstKiss, which ignores his prepubescent MakeOutKids relationship with Samantha Stankey in "Bart's Friend Falls In Love."
** Bart pokes fun at Homer's discovery that he's only ever kissed one girl, which doesn't bother Homer until he finds out that [[{{Kidanova}} Bart's already kissed three]]. In fact, even if you don't count Homer's [[ForcefulKiss very unwilling]] kiss with Patty in this very episode, he's kissed (or at any rate been kissed by) ''exactly'' as many girls as Bart: besides Marge, there's Lurleen Lumpkin in "Colonel Homer" and Mindy Simmons in "The Last Temptation of Homer." [[{{Justified}} However]], it makes sense that he wouldn't want to harp on those incidents around Marge, particularly since neither was intended on his part (Lurleen took him by surprise when she kissed him and his big kiss with Mindy was an accident when they were eating the same thing).
* SignedUpForTheDental: As a benefit Milhouse and Ralph receive as Bart's hired help, Bart gives them [[GirlsHaveCooties anti-cootie shots]] that consist of punching their arms.
* SureLetsGoWithThat: When Abe drops Homer at a camp for underprivileged kids, Homer accuses Abe of pretending to be poor to get him into a camp. Abe's half-hearted admission of guilt suggests that he's not really faking poverty.
* TakeThatKiss: By the time Homer finally makes it to the girls' camp after being held up and unable to make his date with Marge, she's gone home, and Patty and Selma tell him she never wants to see him again. When Homer insists that she wouldn't feel that way as they'd "shared something special," Patty kisses him full on the lips to make the point that there's nothing special about a kiss.
* TwoHalvesMakeAPlot: Homer and Marge each kept their half of the heart-shaped rock.