Film watched: Film/{{Hobgoblins}}

->''"[[FetishRetardant Can you catch a venereal disease from a movie?]]"''
-->--'''Tom Servo'''

While ''Hobgoblins'' is probably not the worst movie to ever be screened on ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', it is [[TriviallyObvious one of them]], and possibly the sleaziest.

Though director Rick Sloane ''requested'' that his film be featured on the show, it suffered some of the harshest riffing ever. The Mads removed the film case from the [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Ark of the Covenant]]. The bots tried to flee the theater during ''the opening credits''. Crow set up a hotline for people traumatized by the movie. Mike and the 'bots tried to escape ''again'' by replacing themselves with cardboard cutouts in the theater and the bridge (it nearly worked, too). Crow impersonated Sloane during the end credits claiming he was "high on crack" and had "[his] brain replaced with rat droppings". Servo tried, and failed, to go back in time to prevent the movie from being made.

!!The ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' episode of this movie contains examples of:

* BadGuyBar:
--> '''Servo''': "Club Scum", eh? So why are there lunch ladies back there serving tater tots?
* BeAWhoreToGetYourMan:
--> '''Crow''': "Yes girls, this is the only way to make your boyfriends like you."
* CardboardPal: Mike and the 'bots try to trick the Mads by placing cardboard cut outs of themselves in the theater, along with a tape recorder playing some poorly acted generic riffs ("That's stupid") and escaping. In the host segment, we see they did the same on the bridge. Only Observer wasn't fooled.
** During the movie's closing credits, they used another cutout for their faux interview with Rick Sloane.
** Notably, the cardboard cut-outs are based on the silhouettes of Mike and the bots that appeared on the back of Rhino VHS releases of MST3K at the time (the "Pointing Mike" cut-out being the most obvious).
* CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys: Much is made of Nick's military service. Naturally, when Nick runs away from the hobgoblins the second he realizes they're dangerous, Crow riffs "Oh, Nick's in the ''French'' army, I see."
* ConspiracyTheorist: Crow makes a documentary that initially is supposed to counter the movie's portrayal of women and show how to treat the fairer sex with respect. Because Crow couldn't actually find any women, though, it turns into a conspiracy video.
-->"We begin to ask ourselves: 'where are all the women?' The overheated references in poetry, the images that dominate our media--is it all an elaborate fraud?"
*** Complete with a grainy black & white photo of a woman in a fur coat that looks an awful lot like a [[CrowningMomentOfFunny shot from the famous "Patterson Bigfoot Film".]]
* CoolCar: Subverted with Kevin's car.
--> '''Crow:''' Paint my muscle car ''prune color,'' please!
* CreatorBacklash: In a surprising twist, Sloane actually brought his own work to the Brains' attention. He thought they did a good job with it, though he did take offense to their personal insults of him mentioned above, and seems well aware that he could only do a sequel because of [=MST3K=].
* DisproportionateRetribution[=/=]CoolAndUnusualPunishment: Pearl uses this movie to punish Mike and the 'bots for jumping on her rent-to-own furniture.
** "Get... ''The Movie''." "[[TheScottishTrope Aaaagh]]!"
** A John Agar film festival? [[BigNo NooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOooooo!]]
* FailOSuckyName:
--> '''Crow''': "{{Serpico}}. Film/DirtyHarry. [[Film/{{Chinatown}} Jake Gittes]]. ...Kevin."
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar: Lampshaded
* AHandfulForAnEye: During the rake fight, Crow suggests, "Throw some Miracle Gro in his eyes!"
* InsecuritySystem:
--> '''Mike:''' "Tell me again why they have an elaborate security system ''but they don't lock anything?!''"
* LogicBomb: "Okay, so ''one'' woman exists. Does that mean ''all'' women exist?"
** Hilariously, [[RuleOfFunny Mike is utterly stumped when Crow challenges him to name one other woman aside from Pearl.]]
* MadeOfIron:
-->'''Crow:''' So the only side effect of [Nick's] [[KillItWithFire complete immolation]] is... ''mild redness and irritation?''
* MakeoutPoint: Upon witnessing the movie's depiction of this, Servo thinks they must have public funding.
* MickeyMousing:
-->'''Crow:''' Their garden tools make little Casio sounds.
* MyGirlIsASlut:
-->'''Crow''': So, Mike, I learned from today's movie that Daphne was a slut, and Amy wasn't fun until she became a slut.
-->'''Mike Nelson''': Well, that's [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop the fun message of today's movie]]!
* [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Screw This, We're Outta Here]]: The movie was getting so bad that Mike resorted to a CardboardPal plan to try to fool the Mads. By the time it failed, we see that he and the 'bots had changed into Hawaiian shirts and packed a lot of luggage for a vacation.
* ShipTease: When Bobo calls Tom & Crow's "''Hobgoblins'' Crisis Hotline" for advice about the crush he had on "a woman... (looks at Pearl behind him) a woman ''[[InterspeciesRomance not of my species]]''"[[note]](a chimpanzee named Emily)[[/note]], {{squick}}ing the 'Bots horribly.
* StableTimeLoop[=/=]YouCantFightFate: Servo's attempt to erase the existence of ''Hobgoblins'' by going back in time and kicking Rick Sloane in the shins ends up being the latter's inspiration for the movie.
** Tom explains this while dressed in a leather jacket and sunglasses while holding a machinegun; Mike explains that he thought that Tom was going to "[[TheTerminator terminate]]" Sloane.
---> "That bastard! I'm gonna go back and kill him."
** Appropriately enough, Rick Sloane's admiration for the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' presentation of ''Hobgoblins'' inspired him to create the sequel. According to an [[http://www.badmovies.org/interviews/ricksloane/ interview with Rick Sloane]], he enjoyed the riffing until he got to the part with the faux-interview attacking him personally at the end.
---> '''Sloane:''' "I had never seen them rip apart any other director before on the show."
*** He must have missed the Creator/ColemanFrancis episodes...and possibly the Sandy Frank ones too. Bert I. Gordon takes quite a few lumps from the cast as well.
* TeamDad: Mike shows shades of this. For example, in the middle of the film, Servo pretends to bounce on the sofa that a couple of the characters have fallen asleep on, just like in the first host segment, and goes 'Whee, this is fun, this is fun! No, it's not, no, it's not' and Mike consoles him. [[CrowningMomentofHeartwarming Awww.]]
* ThreeChordsAndTheTruth: Mocked by Crow.
-->'''Crow''': "Chord, chord, chord, chord, chord, other chord."
* WhyWeCantHaveNiceThings: Pearl's reaction when she sees Mike and the 'bots bouncing around on the couch and squirting juice boxes.
* WithLyrics: "It's TheEighties! Do a lot of coke and vote for RonaldReagan!"
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