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[[quoteright:300:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Dog-and-Pony-Show_7393.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:300: [[{{Understatement}} How embarrassing]].]]

->'''Spike:''' Rarity... woods... jewels... dogs... hole... taken... ''SAVE HER!''

-> Written by Amy Keating Rogers

Sapphire Shores, the Pony of Pop, has just commissioned Rarity to design five costumes for her upcoming tour. There's just one problem; Shores wants them to be covered in gems, and Rarity had just gone through the last of her stock. In order to satisfy Shores' order, she goes gem-hunting with Spike in a nearby quarry. While Rarity casts Detect Gem with her horn, Spike digs up the caches of gems she finds.

As they are getting ready to return, however, the two are ambushed by the Diamond Dogs, a trio of [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Gollum-esque]] dog-men. They've taken notice of how easily Rarity is able to find gems, and so have decided to kidnap her and force her to find gems for them. Despite Spike's best efforts to fend them off, he is outnumbered and outmatched, and Rarity is dragged underground.

After several [[ImagineSpot imagination scenes]], Spike and the other ponies head underground to rescue her, thinking she must be in great danger. Meanwhile, the Diamond Dogs order Rarity to start finding gems for them. Slowly, however, she starts getting on their nerves: When the dogs tell her to dig up the jewels, she refuses to more than scratch the ground little by little, on account of her having had a "pony-pedi"; when they force her to pull a cart to carry around the gems, she proceeds to criticize her captors' nails, breath, overall hygiene, etc. and when they start complaining about the whining...

->'''Rarity:''' I am not whining; I am complaining! Do you want to ''hear'' whining? ''[in higher-pitched voice]'' ''Thiiis'' is ''whiiiiining!'' Oooo, this harness is too ''tiiiight!'' It's going to ''chafe!'' Can't you ''loosen'' it? Oh, it hurts and it's ''so rusty''! Why didn't you clean it first? It's going to leave a ''stain'', and the wagon's getting ''heavy'', ''WHY DO I HAVE TO PULL IIIIIIIT?!''

The dogs cave into Rarity's demands to treat her better at first, but then try to re-assert their authority over her. However, Rarity refuses to pull any passive-aggressive punches, and the whining starts to grate on the Diamond Dogs even more.

Meanwhile, Spike and the other ponies are getting closer to where Rarity's being held, only to be stopped by a group of Diamond Dog guards. After successfully bucking them into submission, the group charges into the dogs' lair, only to be met by Rarity's frazzled captors. The dogs demand that they take Rarity back, as they can no longer take her whining and complaining. Rarity arrives, stating that her friends are just in time to help her carry the huge cartfuls of jewels she's collected. As the group heads back home, with enough gems in tow to fill Sapphire's order, Rarity relates how she had the Diamond Dogs wrapped around her hoof, teaching everyone that even a ladylike pony can get herself out of a sticky situation.
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!!Tropes present in this episode (YMMV tropes can be found [[YMMV/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS1E19ADogAndPonyShow here]]):

* AccidentalKiss: Barely averted; Spike nearly kisses Applejack while in the middle of a fantasy about saving Rarity from the Diamond Dogs.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: After the Diamond Dogs have kidnapped Rarity and attempted to make her their slave, one of them "calls her ugly," prompting a look from one of the others that just screams, "[[EvenEvilHasStandards What the hay, man?]]"
* BadassAdorable: A rare time Spike shows impressive physical prowess. He briefly takes on all three Diamond Dogs so Rarity could escape. The effort was all for nothing, though still worthy of this trope.
* BeneathTheEarth: Where the Diamond Dogs live.
* BigNo: Spike does this twice, both with a SkywardScream, although the second time a deliberate contrast to the first because now he's screaming from the bottom of a hole rather than topside next to one. The first was in response to Rarity being taken away, the second in response to [[RuleOfFunny the team simply not knowing which way to go.]]
* BreadEggsBreadedEggs: combined with InsistentTerminology in the below quote.
-->'''Rarity:''' I would appreciate it if you'd stop calling me "pony". I am a lady, and I wish to be addressed as such, so you may call me "Miss", or "Rarity", or "Miss Rarity".
** LostInTranslation: In the German dub, where it becomes something like "'Lady,' 'Rarity' or 'Valued Rarity.'"
* CallBack: We saw Twilight Sparkle invoking an WhatWouldXDo in "Feeling Pinkie Keen" regarding Rainbow Dash. In this episode, Twilight and Rainbow can be seen pulling a simultaneous charge at the Diamond Dogs without so much as an afterthought.
* CanisMajor: The Diamond Dogs and the Dig Dogs are bigger than the ponies, and much bigger than the only other dog shown in the series (Winona).
* [[ChainOfPeople Chain of Ponies]]: When Spike gets pulled in after baiting the Diamond Dogs with a gem he saved, Applejack tried to pull him out, but before she slides in as well, Twilight follows but... you get the idea. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy join in the chain, then just as the latter is pulled in, Pinkie Pie joins the chain because, hey, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint it looks like a fun ride]]!
-->'''Pinkie Pie:''' ''Wheeeeeeeee!''
* ChainmailBikini: How else would you describe what Spike is wearing in his Fantasy about being a KnightInShiningArmour?
* ChekhovsSkill: Twilight's ability to replicate magic that other unicorns know after being shown a demonstration will pay off in later seasons.
* ComplainingAboutComplaining: How the Diamond Dogs learned a valuable lesson in the difference between "whining" and "complaining".
* CurbStompBattle: The Diamond Dogs easily outmaneuver the rest of the mane cast when they try to use the holes. The mane cast in turn fight off the Dig Dogs with surprising ease. Spike imagines [[ConservationOfNinjutsu one]] as part of his heroic fantasy.
* CuteButCacophonic: While Rarity normally has a lovely voice, if she's ''[[InvokedTrope trying]]'' to be verbally irritating then her whining voice becomes ''weaponized''.
* CutLexLuthorACheck: The Diamond Dogs have a mine that is loaded with gems. Rarity desperately needs gems. If the Dogs had approached Rarity with a deal to give her, say, 20% of the gems that she locates and they dig up, and generally treated her acceptably, everyone could have gone home with a lot of gems. Instead, Rarity gets everything. Maybe if the Diamond Dogs weren't really, really stupid... Furthermore, Rarity had absolutely no problem simply finding them gems when she thought that's all they wanted. If they hadn't tried to make her their prisoner forever, they still would've ended up better off in the end.
* DamselInDistress: Played with; this is how the others picture Rarity in their {{Imagine Spot}}s. In truth, Rarity had her kidnappers "wrapped around her hoof the whole time."
* DamselOutOfDistress: Not only does Rarity rescue herself but reverses the situation and puts herself in charge.
* ADayInTheLimelight: While it's about Rarity, Spike plays a major role in this episode.
* DeadlyDodging: The bad guys pull it off when fending off the ponies trying to enter the holes in the ground, making Rainbow and Twilight collide.
* DeadpanSnarker: If Rarity isn't [[PityTheKidnapper torturing the Diamond Dogs]], she's snarking at them. Sometimes she does both at the same time.
* EvenEvilHasStandards: Spot gets noticeably upset with Rover when the latter calls Rarity "ugly".
* EvenTheGirlsWantHer: Sapphire Shores is not surprised to see a mare swooning over her.
* EverybodyLaughsEnding
* ExactWords: Rover tries to [[InvokedTrope invoke]] this when Rarity accuses him of calling her ugly, but it [[NotHelpingYourCase backfires]] spectacularly.
* [[FacePalm Face Paw]]: Spot does this twice. Rover does a slower version while moaning.
* {{Foreshadowing}}: [[IncrediblyLamePun Shades]] of this when Rarity designates a dig site at the base of a cave formation, causing a stalactite to fall on two dogs. This hints at Rarity getting out of her situation by using her wits.
* FlashbackCut: PlayedForLaughs. Before a commercial break, just after Rarity's abduction, Spike lets off his BigNo. After the commercial break, Spike has gathered the other Mane cast, racing to the rescue, but then leads to a quick flashback scene, with Spike arriving in Ponyville, panicked and out-of-breath, uttering the quote at the top of this page to convince the mane cast to help.
* FoodAsBribe: Rarity pays Spike in gems for helping her ([[OurDragonsAreDifferent which he eats]]), although he's so infatuated with her he'd do it for free.
* FracturedFairyTale: In a sense, Spike's fantasy of rescuing Rarity counts as one. The usual scenario is of a knight on a white horse rescuing the princess from the clutches of an evil dragon. In Spike's fantasy, the dragon ''is'' the knight and the princess is a white horse (er... unicorn).
* FurryReminder: Invoked by Spike. See the page image.
* {{Hammerspace}}[=/=]FurIsClothing: Sort of. Spike pulls a large gem Rarity personally gave to him out of a pocket, despite being completely naked save for his scales.
* HorsingAround: [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/horsingaround_7690.jpg Applejack deliberately flinging a dog off her back.]] (Followed quickly by each of her friends doing this to the dogs trying to use them as workhorses.)
* HyperventilationBag: Spike is shown breathing into one after Rarity gets kidnapped.
* ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne:
-->'''Spike:''' Show yourselves, you dogs! [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment You curs!]] Ah, there you are, you mangy mutts!\\
'''Diamond Dog:''' Who are you calling ''mutts''? Unleash the hounds!
* ImagineSpot: Several involving the other ponies imagining what Rarity must be going through, and one particularly [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments hilarious]] one...
* IndulgentFantasySegue: Spike's fantasy where he's [[DreamSue a manly older dragon knight, who effortlessly fights off the Diamond Dogs and rescues Princess Rarity.]] Things go a bit differently during the actual rescue.
* IneffectualSympatheticVillain: While the Diamond Dogs are surprisingly sly in holding off the other ponies, they are ultimately oafish weasels that are brought to their knees by the greater horror that is ''Rarity's whining'', at one point even correcting themselves when they think they offended her.
* InsistentTerminology: "I am NOT whining; I am ''complaining''!"
* ItWasAGift: Spike doesn't eat the gem he got from Rarity because of this. The gems she didn't give him? In his opinion, fair game.
* KnightInShiningArmor: Spike gets Twilight to be his steed for their supposed [[BigDamnHeroes Big Darn Heroes]] moment.
-->'''Spike:''' I'm coming for you, milady! [[TheLoneRanger Heigh ho Twilight, away!]]\\
'''Twilight Sparkle:''' And just what do you think ''you're'' doing?\\
'''Spike:''' Please, Twilight. Just give me this?\\
'''Twilight Sparkle:''' Fine.
* LanternJawOfJustice: Fantasy Spike displays this along with HeroicBuild.
* LetsGetDangerous:
** If jumping straight into a fight with a manticore in the pilot wasn't big enough of a hint, this episode showed that Rarity is more than capable of taking care of herself, and she didn't even need to resort to violence to do so.
** This is also one of the few times we see Spike fight, and although he isn't able to prevent Rarity from being kidnapped, his performance is surprisingly impressive.
** The rest of the Mane Cast get a moment when they easily defeat the Dig Dogs that try to enslave them (even ''Fluttershy'').
* MostAnnoyingSound: Rarity's whining voice, [[{{In-Universe}} to the Diamond Dogs]]. Unfortunately for them, she knows and exploits it.
* MuggingTheMonster: The Diamond Dogs picked the wrong unicorn to enslave. Also happens to the Dig Dogs that try to capture the rest of the Mane Cast.
* MusclesAreMeaningless: Three huge dogs have trouble pulling carts filled with gems, while tiny girl ponies manage just fine.
* MyInstinctsAreShowing: Spike tries very hard not to eat the gems Rarity makes her outfit with.
* OffscreenTeleportation: The Diamond Dogs move instantly between the holes in the ground when they're keeping the ponies from entering them.
* OhCrap: The Diamond Dogs when they realize Rarity hadn't even '''begun''' to whine.
* [[OneManArmy One-Dragon Army]]: Spike in his fantasy.
* PityTheKidnapper: [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] by Rarity when she discovered her complaining seriously annoys the Diamond Dogs. So she takes it UpToEleven to be as annoying as she possibly can on purpose.
* PleaseDumpMe: How Rarity gets the Diamond Dogs to free her.
* PreAsskickingOneLiner:
-->'''Applejack:''' If you can take this bull by the horns, you better be ready for a ride!
* QuitYourWhining: The Diamond Dogs to Rarity's complaining and her actual "whining".
-->'''Spot:''' Aaah! Make it stop!\\
'''Rover:''' Stop whining!\\
'''Rarity:''' But I thought you ''wanted whining''!
* RealWomenDontWearDresses: Averting this is the {{Aesop}} of the episode. Being a ProperLady does not mean Rarity is a push over.
* RedundantRescue: By the time the heroes arrive to save her, Rarity has already saved herself and subdued the Diamond Dogs.
* RememberedICouldFly: It's not until Spike suggests Twilight copy Rarity's gem-finding spell that she remembers Rarity ''taught it to her'' previously. Justified; Twilight was worried about Rarity '''and''' there had never been a need for her to use said spell, so forgetting that she knew it is forgivable.
* RunningGag: "Doomed Rarity" fantasy sequences, and Spike's attempts to steal Rarity's gems.
* ShoutOut:
** The [[Music/DavidBowie Diamond Dogs]]. They're poachers who hide behind the trees.
** The lines in the first scene where they appear could just as easily have been spoken by [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Gollum]], voice and all.
** [[Radio/TheLoneRanger "Hi-yo Twilight, AWAY!"]]
** The episode is one long homage to [[OHenry O. Henry]]'s classic story "[[http://www.online-literature.com/donne/1041/ The Ransom of Red Chief]]".
** [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons "Unleash the Hounds!"]]
* TerribleTrio: The Diamond Dogs are led by such a trio. {{Word of God}} says their names are Fido (the hulking one), Rover (the tall, skinny one) and Spot (the short one).
* TitleDrop: The wording is ''slightly'' off, so it's a lot more subtle than, say, [[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS1E18TheShowStoppers "The Show Stoppers"]], but the Diamond Dogs call Rarity "''[their]'' precious ''little pony''".
* WellSeeAboutThat: The Diamond Dogs block off the holes that lead to their lair and Applejack says that they can't muscle through it. Rainbow Dash replies "We'll see about that." They can't.
* WrongGenreSavvy: Spike kept thinking that he was going to be a knight who saves the DistressedDamsel Rarity and get the StandardHeroReward, [[RedundantRescue only for her to free herself.]]
* YouNeedABreathMint:
-->'''Rarity:''' Uh! What is that ''smell''?\\
'''Diamond Dog:''' Smeeeeeeeelllllll?\\
'''[[DeadpanSnarker Rarity]]:''' Ah. Mystery solved. It's your breath.
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