''Original air date'': May 8, 2005

Chris' teacher quits his job after winning the lottery during Parents' Night. Brian is initially hired to teach Chris' class, but ends up teaching a class of troubled, streetwise students. Meanwhile, Chris' infatuation with the new, blonde teacher turns into a plot to help her murder her husband.
!!This episode provides examples of:
* BaitAndSwitch: When Chris tells Lois he has a crush on his teacher, Peter responds in a manner suggesting that he can't believe what he's hearing ("Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."), but it turns out he's gearing up to say, "Lois, this is not my ''Batman'' glass."
** Lois worries that Chris won't survive prison because of [[PrisonRape what they do to the inmates in the showers]] as seen on ''Oz''. The cutaway shows the inmates singing a song from ''The Wizard of Oz'', not getting raped as seen in the HBO prison drama that aired in the late 1990s.
* BrotherSisterIncest: twice averted in the episode. First, it's implied some sort of sexual activity has happened between famous brother-sister duo Donny and Marie Osmond as they are both lying in bed with looks of satisfaction and shame on their faces followed by their conversation:
--> ''Donny''': Uh....Marie?\\
'''Marie''': (looks at him)...Yeah, Donny? ''Donny''': Um....We cannot tell Mom!\\

** The second example contains a in-joke universe where Peter is one-half of the Wonder Twins and when his twin sister Jayna leaves for battle (in the form of a hawk), Peter allows himself to magically transform into "Jayna's tampon" and hides himself in her purse so that when the time comes for her next menstal period to start...
* FreudianSlip / FreudianSlipperySlope: When Peter's talking to Mrs. Lockhart about Chris's infatuation with her:
--> '''Peter''': Sorry. Our son can sometimes be a boob. I mean a melon. I mean, a sopping-wet pair of breasts barely covered by a racing T-shirt.
* InterspeciesRomance: Between Mrs. Lockhart and the bear at the end of the episode.