The episode starts with a parody of recaps to cliff hanger scenes from crime dramas, legal dramas, and soap operas, ending with Peter reading a letter that Brian went to Los Angeles to find himself (even though he was there when Brian announced during his "Welcome Back From Rehab" party that he was going away to California to live with his gay cousin, Jasper). Meanwhile in L.A., Brian, wanting to be a screenwriter, works as a waiter, and then at a car wash, and gets to work in the business, only to find that his first assignment is a porno movie. Brian is, at first apprehensive, but after seeing one of the actresses in a thong and reading over the script for a film described as ''Bang the Drum Slowly'' (except the drum's a chick), he goes along with it, and works to make the porno movies he directs more meaningful in their subtext and character motivations.

Conveniently, tryouts for "Kids Say The Darndest Things" are in Quahog, and Stewie makes it on the show, which means the Griffins get to go to Los Angeles and find Brian, who's trying to keep a secret about being a porn director.