[[caption-width-right:350:[[TheOneWith The one where]] ''Series/DoctorWho'' suddenly became a {{Sitcom}} and a RomCom without missing a beat.]]

->'''Craig:''' I love you, I love you, I love you, ''[opens door]'' I love you!\\
'''The Doctor:''' Well, that's good, because I'm your new lodger!

[[AndNowForSomethingCompletelyDifferent This is the]] ''Series/TheLateLateShow with James Corden'', and tonight, we've got Carpool Karaoke with Creator/MattSmith!

[[{{Troll}} Psyche!]] [[ActorAllusion But we can't be the only ones thinking it.]]

Written by Gareth Roberts. Based on the short ''Magazine/DoctorWhoMagazine'' comic strip of the same name, which featured Ten and Mickey.

Modern-day Colchester. The TARDIS arrives in a park, the Doctor noting by the presence of a [[http://www.ryman.co.uk/ Ryman's]] that this definitely ''isn't'' the fifth moon of Cyndacalista. He's immediately thrown out of the door by a sudden surge of energy that causes the TARDIS to dematerialise (much faster than usual) without him, and Amy still on board.

The next day. There's a house on Aickman Road, and a staircase that people go up, but never down. As is demonstrated by a hapless man whose walk past the house is interrupted by the voice of an old man on the intercom, pleading for help and guiding him up the staircase to the flat up at the top with an ominously glowing door...

Craig Owens, the man who lives in the flat below the aforementioned one with the ominous glowy door, needs a lodger for the extra room in his flat. It's rather nice aside from what appears to be some very nasty dry rot in the corner of the ceiling. Craig's best friend Sophie (really, they're JustFriends!) spends almost every night at his house already, but he's too {{Adorkable}} to let her know just how welcome she'd be to move in. His previous flatmate has just moved out, having very conveniently received a windfall in the will of an elderly relative he didn't even know he had. This just ''happens'' to be amazingly convenient for the Doctor, who both needs a place to stay and a base of operations to investigate what's going on upstairs and get the TARDIS back. He's managed to trace the source of the strange things happening to this house.

Craig's a little taken aback by the suddenness of the Doctor's arrival, not least because he only put the ad in the newsagent's window that morning. The Doctor has a big paper bag full of money for rent (Is it a lot? He can't tell.), a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury (thanks to the psychic paper) and he likes the place. He takes note of the mystical rot, warns Craig not to touch it and promises to fix it soon. So begins the Doctor's greatest challenge: he must pass himself off as a perfectly normal human being, and share a flat with Craig Owens.

Things get off to a good start, thanks to the Doctor's skill at whipping up omelettes and Craig's willingness [[JustBetweenYouAndMe to reveal all about himself to this near-complete stranger]]. Craig likes the Doctor: he's quirky, interesting, weird, has bags full of money and is ''probably'' not a drug dealer. Craig also likes the simple life, has no real ambitions at moving on from his call centre job, and is perfectly content to hang out on his sofa with his best-friend-who's-a-girl Sophie, eat pizza and watch the telly. With whom, judging by the way he near-fondles the set of keys she left behind, he'd like very much to be more than friends. He tells the Doctor that he's always welcome to bring home a girlfriend or boyfriend, if he likes, and they'll just figure out a system to give each other privacy.

Safely hidden away in his new room, the Doctor communicates via earpiece with Amy in the TARDIS, scrambled to ensure that no one can listen in. (Craig, overhearing the Doctor's side of the conversation through the wall, is given the impression that the Doctor is loudly blurting out gibberish to himself.) He's trying to keep a low profile, not wanting to give himself away to the intelligence upstairs before he knows what it is and is prepared to deal with it. Because if he's right, something scarily big is at work. Meanwhile, another innocent human, a clubber stumbling past the house, is drawn in by a young man on the top floor of the house needing help...

The Doctor's plan means that he cannot use any of his usual technological gadgets in order to help him solve the problem, as it would enable the creature to detect him. It also requires him to blend in as an ordinary human -- quite difficult, considering he's a time-travelling alien who wears a bowtie. Amy's helpful suggestion that he ditch the bowtie is soundly rejected, and her other suggestions about "ordinary bloke" activities (drinking, watching telly and playing football) are not the kind of things he's usually known for. Before she can give further advice, the TARDIS is once again buffeted by a powerful time distortion, and a localised time loop plays merry hell with the clocks inside the building as, on the upstairs floor, something very nasty happens to the poor clubber.

The next morning, while waiting for the Doctor to finish up in the shower, Craig hears some noises from upstairs and decides to see what's going on. He takes the long walk up the dark, ominous stairs, knocks on the door... and is greeted by the elderly occupant of the upstairs flat, his face hidden in the shadows, who curtly dismisses Craig and informs him that he is not needed. Thinking that Craig is in mortal peril, the Doctor rushes out of the shower. He discovers that Craig has managed something we've seen from no one else so far, and goes up the stairs only to come back down again. It also means that when Sophie pops by for a visit, her [[NakedFirstImpression first introduction]] to him is with him soaking wet and wrapped up in a towel. The Doctor, [[EveryoneCanSeeIt not being blind]], is quick to pick up on a [[{{UST}} certain mutual romantic tension]] between Craig and Sophie. Unfortunately, Sophie has also noticed that the Doctor is, in her words, "gorgeous". Craig is a bit miffed.

Craig receives a call from his mates, informing him that his side in the pub league is one man short, so Craig politely asks the Doctor if he wants to make up the numbers. It's not drinking, as the Doctor first suspects, but football -- and although he's not sure whether it's "the one with the sticks" or not, he's willing to give it a go.

Thus, the Doctor is introduced to the most popular sport in the world... and he's good at it. Really good, in fact. So good that he manages to completely upstage Craig and impress Sophie. With him on the team permanently, Craig's mates cheer, they'll be able to annihilate the opposition. This worries the Doctor because the Doctor is the Doctor, [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast the Oncoming Storm]], and there will be ''no'' annihilation while he's around... and he's halfway through a [[BadassBoast very dramatic speech]] to that effect when he realises that the other man meant "annihilate" in a figurative sense regarding football.

Then another shifty loopy time jump happens all around the Doctor, as another unfortunate is lead up those stairs, this time by a little girl...

It's a powerful one, this time. The TARDIS' zigzag plotter, previously kept to the "safe" level of four, is now showing nines. The Doctor manages to talk Amy through piloting the console, stabilising the buffeting -- before the time distortion would force the TARDIS back into the vortex, casting her adrift forever. It's getting more powerful, and the Doctor is running out of time.

That night, Craig has Sophie around, and has decided that this is the night he finally works up the courage to tell her how he feels. Unfortunately, despite Craig's pleas that he keep out of the way, the Doctor has decided to work on the house's wiring, meaning that he's present to be a [[MomentKiller mood-killing]] ThirdWheel. Conversation turns to what Sophie wants to do with her life, and she sheepishly admits that she'd like to work with animals, but has more or less resigned herself to her current go-nowhere life. Yeah, the Doctor nonchalantly agrees, for the best. Most dreams don't come true. Why bother pursuing them if she knows she's going to be doing the same thing forever? Sophie is hurt and angry about this, denying that she's going to be doing the same thing for her life forever... which, of course, was the Doctor's point all along. He suggests that this would be a good time to consider what's keeping her around here. Sophie is inspired, and doesn't see anything to keep her around Colchester. Craig tries to speak up, but he's completely lost his nerve.

Understandably, Craig's a bit pissed off with the Doctor by this point. So much so that he decides to disregard the Doctor's earlier warning and touches the patch of rot, which seems to be growing. By the next morning, he's near-death, his system poisoned by the lethal residue of whatever is happening upstairs. Happening upon him in the nick of time, the Doctor whips up a miracle cure that seems to be composed [[SpotOfTea mainly of tea]] (including a used bag from the bin) and feeds it to him. Craig survives, but is significantly weakened. By the time he wakes up, it's a quarter to three and he's ''very'' late for work.

When Craig gets to his call centre he discovers that that he has a new stand-in -- the Doctor, kindly covering his shift for him and having quite a blast, but managing to drive away his customers with his blunt phone manner. He was a great success in the planning meeting as well, acting as Craig's representative, so Craig's boss absolutely loves him. Sophie's applied to act as a volunteer for a wildlife charity abroad, nervously asking him if it's okay. Might be a good time to speak up, Craig, hint-hint... except Craig's completely discombobulated at this point and just staggers off home.

The Doctor, meanwhile, has engaged a spy that he can safely send upstairs: a local cat, who delivers a report upon the Doctor's return from work. Of course, when Craig sees this, it looks like the Doctor is simply talking to a cat, and the Doctor's attempts at passing off the ''impressive'' broomsticks-and-pans whirligig he's built out of junk on his bed as "a modern art piece on the awfulness of modern life" are unconvincing. It's the last straw for Craig; he throws the Doctor's rent money back at him and demands that TheThingThatWouldNotLeave leaves. The Doctor, however, is equally adamant that he has to stay. Stalemate, and as the stand-off heats up, the Doctor grabs Craig's face and psyches himself to do something he'll really regret.

He psychically communicates with Craig, via headbutt, twice.

Craig is filled in on the general background (the Doctor, alien, Time Lord, eleven lives, Amy, TARDIS) and the specifics (the TARDIS playing up), and the Doctor discovering Craig's ad along with a note from Amy (that she [[StableTimeLoop hasn't written yet]]) guiding him to that specific house and what's happening upstairs. Craig is appalled at the realisation that people have been dying in the flat above him, and is adamant that they have to do something ''now''. Which is good timing, because Sophie has stopped by for a visit, only to be summoned upstairs by the little girl...

When the Doctor and Craig realise this they charge upstairs to the rescue, only to be stopped by Amy, who has discovered a fundamental flaw in their plan. Which is that ''there is no upstairs''. According to the blueprints she's discovered of Craig's place, it's a one-storey building. Intrigued by this development, the Doctor and Craig charge through the door, and discover a makeshift TARDIS copy on the other side. It's dragging Sophie to the console via bolts of lightning. Craig and the Doctor work desperately to free her, only to be surprised when it suddenly lets her go as soon as she looks into Craig's eyes.

The old man appears, demanding that the Doctor -- or "[[{{Series/Stingray 1964}} Captain Troy Handsome]] of [[Series/{{Thunderbirds}} International Rescue]]", as he announces himself -- help him. The ship crashed, the crew are dead, and the old man (and its various other forms) is the ship's emergency hologram, trying to find a replacement pilot. It's burnt seventeen humans to a crisp doing so already, and is quite happy to work through the other six billion four hundred thousand and twenty-six in the process. It won't have to now, however, because the Doctor, an alien, has arrived, and is more than suited to piloting it away safely.

Wrong. The Doctor's a worse choice: the machine is too much for humans to handle, but the Doctor is too much for the ''machine'' to handle. If he touches it, the resulting energy burst will blow up the solar system. As he's dragged closer to the machine, he realises there's one person here the machine has shown no interest in: Craig. Craig lacked the necessary ''desire'' to pilot the ship, and Sophie was all right too, until the Doctor awakened her latent desire to move on -- but Craig has nowhere else he wants to be. Why is that? Craig is persuaded to touch the machine, and the Doctor demands that he reveal why he's always been so happy to stay exactly where he is.

It's Sophie, of course. The two hastily admit their feelings for each other, and Craig is persuaded to leave the whole monkey discussion for another time by the Doctor, who points out the malfunctioning machine they have to deal with. [[ThePowerOfLove One good kiss is sufficient to switch it off]]. Then they have to leg it downstairs before the ship self-destructs with them on-board. They watch from the street as the ship disappears, leaving the flat as the one-story house that it was always meant to be.

Later, Craig and Sophie are happily distracted from (ahem) "ruining their friendship" further by the Doctor, who's come to drop his keys off now that the TARDIS and Amy have landed safely. Craig, however, wants the Doctor to keep them: he's been inside the Doctor's head and knows he won't be back, but it's a little memento. The three say their fond farewells and leave, Craig and Sophie planning their future together...

... and there's a crack in the wall behind Craig's fridge.

Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor prepares to tie up the loose ends by [[TimeyWimeyBall rewriting the will which enabled him to stay in Craig's flat]], and leaves Amy the instruction of writing the note for the newsagent. She rummages in the Doctor's pockets for a red pen... but discovers a red box instead. It contains an engagement ring.


* TheAce: The Doctor is this from Craig's perspective. Better looking, better at cooking, better at football, better at his job, and more able to impress Sophie; he's better at everything!
* AdaptationExpansion: As mentioned above, it's based on a comic strip that originally starred Ten and Mickey. It was a nine-page comic; this is a 45-minute episode.
* AlwaysSomeoneBetter: The Doctor to Craig, with regards to football and his job. It's not the best thing to do to your landlord.
* AtrociousAlias:
-->"I'm good with rot, call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor, don't call me the Rotmeister."
* AwesomeMcCoolname: And a ShoutOut to two Gerry Anderson Supermarionation series -- "Hello, I'm [[{{Series/Stingray 1964}} Captain Troy Handsome]] of [[Series/{{Thunderbirds}} International Rescue]]."
* BadassBoast: Here, the Doctor learns the importance of timing these properly.
-->'''The Doctor:''' Annihilate? No. No violence, not when I'm around; not now, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm, and you basically meant beat them in a football match didn't you.\\
'''Shawn:''' Yeah.\\
'''The Doctor:''' Lovely.
* BigDamnKiss: How Sophie and Craig seal their relationship upgrade and save the day.
-->'''The Doctor:''' Not now, Craig, the planet's about to burn for god's sake, ''kiss the girl!''
* {{Blipvert}}:
** The psychic headbutt, once in a vain attempt to summarise ''everything'' by speeding through the past ten Doctors, and another one that just handles the episode thus far.
** The first one includes Doctors Nine, Ten, Eight and Four-through-One, as well as brief glimpses of Rose, the Cybermen, the Ood and a Weeping Angel.
* BottleEpisode: As is traditional by now, the last episode before the series finale is deliberately designed to be less expensive. In this case, by being set in an ordinary Colchester flat in ThePresentDay.
* BreatherEpisode: A nice, heart-warming little domestic comedy in a season full of darker themes and impending cataclysms. Even more specifically, it fell right in between the very emotional "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS31E10VincentAndTheDoctor Vincent and the Doctor]]" and the action-packed season finale.
* BriefcaseFullOfMoney: Or, in this instance, paper bag with £3000 in it. This causes Sophie, when Craig tells her about it, to wonder if the Doctor's a drug dealer.
* CannotSpitItOut: Craig and Sophie, even though EveryoneCanSeeIt, say nothing.
* CallBack: The Doctor gives Craig (and Sophie, and Sean (from Craig's football team)) "air-kisses" on both cheeks because "that's how people greet each other nowadays, right?" He saw Vincent greet Dr. Black in the last episode that way.
* CatchPhrase:
** "Bowties are cool" makes another appearance.
** Eleven's other catchphrase "Geronimo" is also used, but by ''Craig''. Perhaps he picked it up from the Doctor during the "psychic headbutt".
* CommercialPopUp: An odd example. In the accompanying episode of ''Series/DoctorWhoConfidential'', the football match in this episode is presented in the style of a BBC Sport broadcast, including a "BBC Sport" logo in the corner of the screen. When this was broadcast on BBC 3, the "BBC 3" logo appeared in the same position, resulting in something of a mess.
* ContextSensitiveButton: The zigzag plotter. Not working correctly? Take two steps to your right!
* ContinuityNod:
** The Van Gogh postcard on Craig's fridge.
** [[Recap/DoctorWhoS19E5BlackOrchid The Doctor, played by the youngest actor so far, wears nothing but a towel and gets the chance to participate in a popular British sport]] and proceeds to kick ass.
** The Doctor refers to his [[TheNthDoctor eleven lives]].
** [[Recap/DoctorWhoS9E5TheTimeMonster This is far from the first time]] that the Doctor has [[WhenThingsSpinScienceHappens built elaborate science-y things from household knick-knacks and junk]].
** The Doctor reciting positions is very reminiscent of the girl's rhyme from "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS31E2TheBeastBelow The Beast Below]]".
** Tea, [[Recap/DoctorWho2005CSTheChristmasInvasion once again]], is shown to have amazing curative powers.
** It seems that the Doctor [[Recap/DoctorWho2006CSTheRunawayBride sonicked an ATM]] offscreen.
* CreepyChild: There's a child wrapped in shadows at a random house saying "Help me..."
* EveryoneCanSeeIt: Even the ''Eleventh Doctor'', awkward-at-romance and occasional [[FailedASpotCheck misser of the obvious]], notices Craig and Sophie fancy each other.
* TheFaceless: Every one of the hologram's appearances is of a person with their face in shadow.
* FailedAttemptAtDrama: The Doctor initially fails to realize that Shawn was talking about football and that "annihilate" was ''figurative''.
* {{Fanservice}}: Eleven's ShirtlessScene. There were many ways they could have done this scene. They opted for the sexiest option. It is somewhat relevant to the plot however, as he proceeds to [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} obliviously hang around half-naked]] in front of the chubby, slovenly Craig and a gleefully leering Sophie. As Craig saw the Doctor as TheAce who was ruining his life and his chances with Sophie, this was yet another strike in the Doctor's "annoying as hell" column.
* {{Foreshadowing}}:
** There's an example so subtle it's very easy to miss. When we see Amy inside the TARDIS, there are a few times when she appears to be startled by something she sees off-screen, but she then ignores it and doesn't say anything about it to the Doctor; the most obvious example of this can be seen when the Doctor contacts her after his football match. Amy's reactions won't make any sense (and most first-time viewers won't probably even notice them) before we get to the next season, where we learn what the Silence is and how their power works.
** For a brief moment when inside the makeshift TARDIS, we see the corpse of... something with four fingers. Considering that the Silence have four fingers, and that the makeshift TARDIS may be the same one the Doctor, Amy, Rory, and River [[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E2DayOfTheMoon encounter in 1969]], it may be a corpse belonging to one of the Silence River shot. And notice how it seems the Doctor forgets about the corpse after looking at it; another trademark of these Silence.
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar: So, what would ruining your friendship ''completely'' entail that makes you look so happy?
* AGlitchInTheMatrix: It looks like this might be a symptom of the cracks and the references to the undisturbed timeline aggravating them further.
* GretzkyHasTheBall: The Doctor, on UsefulNotes/TheBeautifulGame:
-->"Now, football's the one with the sticks, isn't it?"[[note]]Mind you, for his stated ignorance of the game, he turns out to be quite good at it.[[/note]]
* IDontWantToRuinOurFriendship: Craig and Sophie for most of the episode; they eventually [[RelationshipUpgrade decide to "ruin their friendship]] ''completely''".
* InfoDump: The Doctor gives one to Craig by ''psychic-headbutting'' him. Twice.
* ItMakesSenseInContext: There is a brief moment of confusion when Craig overhears the Doctor through the walls, and hears him saying "Orange juice. Neocene Arbuckle. Rare tarantula on the table. Oh." Fortunately, the Doctor is then shown, explaining to Amy how his communicator will make anything he says sound like pure gibberish to eavesdroppers.
* JustBetweenYouAndMe: "People never stop blurting out their plans when I'm around."
* MarySue: [[invoked]]Deconstructed. The Doctor has a lot of the traits you'd expect from a Mary Sue for this episode, but he drives Craig nuts and after three days he can't stand him. Basically, it shows how a normal person would find the Doctor if they didn't know he was a centuries old super-smart alien -- they'd think he was just an overly-clever, annoying person.
* ModestyTowel: The Doctor runs out of the shower wearing one in order to save Craig. Then Sophie shows up.
* MomentKiller: The Doctor, several times, interrupts romantic time for Craig and Sophie. He makes up for it.
* MoodWhiplash: The episode itself is very funny and optimistic, but it ends fairly abruptly on Amy looking upset and confused at her and Rory's engagement ring, which the Doctor had kept. More minor, but right before Amy describes the Doctor as quite the matchmaker as they wrap the episode up as a definite win, the world safe, the couple happy, etc., Amy then asks "Why can't you find me a man?" Your smile should be gone now. In the end: There. Is. A. Crack. In. The. House. and it was ''growing'', remember what they do? All three of these things happen in quick succession, throwing any warm and fuzzy feeling out the window.
* MundaneMadeAwesome: The Epic Football Match set to Epic Music.
* MythologyGag: The Eleventh Doctor's football shirt just happens to have 11 on it.
* NakedFirstImpression: The Doctor '''got''' a towel -- a slippery one-- when Sophie steps in to meet him.
* NewPowersAsThePlotDemands: The Doctor's been established to have psychic touch abilities, but this is the first appearance of the psychic ''headbutt''. Note the writers covering their butts on future fans saying "Why doesn't the Doctor do this thing again" in unwritten episodes by having the Doctor clearly say how much he regrets doing it and how painful it is.
* OmnicidalManiac: Not the usual kind by any means, but the emergency hologram was willing to use up every human on the planet one by one to find a pilot.
* PerceptionFilter: Keeping up a Series 5 tradition, the TARDIS knockoff used one to both disguise itself as the upstairs flat, and make people think there had always been an upstairs flat.
* PsychicLink: ''Franchise/StarTrek''-type mind melds are spoofed by having the Doctor InfoDump headbutt Craig.
* ThePowerOfLove: It's used to shut down the alien spaceship, instead of the more usual starting one.
* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: Subverted; the Doctor appears to be giving Sophie one of these, to which she reacts angrily... except that he's ''actually'' provoking her in order to draw her out of her shell and realise for herself how much potential she's got.
* RecycledInSpace: The episode is lampshaded as ''Series/DoctorWho'' [-ON EARTH-].
* SchmuckBait: The Doctor tells Craig not to touch the mildew stain. So what does he do?
* ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney: The Doctor cements his place in the flat via a [[BriefcaseFullOfMoney paper bag filled with £3000]]. It's downplayed in that the Doctor just withdrew a lot of cash and can't be bothered to check if it's the right amount.
* ShipperOnDeck: The Doctor pretty quickly cues onto the fact that Craig and Sophie are {{UST}}ing for each other but CantSpitItOut. He tries to help them get together, but he mostly only makes it worse for Craig.
* ShirtlessScene: Eleven gets [[{{Fanservice}} another shirtless scene]] [[http://i49.tinypic.com/50i2h0.jpg and he's wielding unusual weaponry...]] (Slightly NSFW)
* ShoutOut:
** The Doctor tells the ship's autopilot that he's from [[Series/{{Thunderbirds}} International Rescue]].
** While talking to the hologram, the Doctor delivers a deadpan [[Series/StarTrekVoyager "Please state the nature of the emergency"]]. Bonus points for quoting the only other fictional "doctor" most people would know of and [[UpToEleven extra bonus points]] for quoting ''another'' "Emergency Hologram".
** There also seem to be a couple of connections between this story and "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS17E2CityOfDeath City of Death]]": both have glitches in time, and the spaceship at the end looks a lot like a Jagaroth spaceship, that wanted to use a Time Lord to build a time machine.
* ShowerScene: The Doctor gets one of these because he "likes a good soak".
* ASimplePlan: Given what happened [[Recap/DoctorWhoS30E10Midnight the last time he said it]], he should really consider some different phrasing...
-->'''The Doctor:''' All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong\\
'''Amy:''' [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Have you]] ''[[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} seen]]'' [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} you?]]
* SingingInTheShower: Not only does the Doctor enjoy long showers, he also enjoys belting out opera while doing so.
* SpeaksFluentAnimal: The Doctor is revealed to speak "cat".
* SpotOfTea: The amazing curative properties of tea are displayed again. This time the miracle cure for the "whatever" leaking through the ceiling is a pot of really strong tea made with all the teabags in the flat (including one rescued from the bin). While collecting tea bags, the Doctor is saying "Right, reverse the enzyme decay, excite the tannin molecules."
* StableTimeLoop: The flat only has a room open because the previous occupant's uncle's will gave him enough money to leave, and the Doctor chooses to go there after seeing a note from Amy above the ad for it in the local newsagent. At the end of the episode, the Doctor talks about going back to change the will, and tells Amy to write the note.
* SupremeChef: The Doctor shows his skill at making a palatable omelette from eggs, cheese, bacon and ''salad cream'' (or, as North Americans would call it, "salad dressing").
* TastesLikeDiabetes: {{Invoked|Trope}}: Amy's reaction to Craig and Sophie's mutual love confession.
* {{Technobabble}}: The Doctor's scanner, made out of things like an oar, a rake, a lamp, etc., is described as "non-technological technology from Lamistine".
* TreacherousSpiritChase: Random passers-by get lured into a two-flat by various poorly-lit characters, with much screaming and electrocuting as the result.
* TrueArtIsIncomprehensible: Invoked. The Doctor tries to pass off his time scanner as a piece of modern art. "''It's a statement on modern society! [[TrueArtIsAngsty Oooh... ain't modern society awful?]]''"
* TrueLovesKiss: It turns off the TARDIS knockoff.
-->'''The Doctor:''' For God's sake, ''kiss the girl!''
* UseYourHead: In order to save time explaining why he's staying with Craig, [[ItMakesSenseInContext the Doctor headbutts him twice]].
* UnwantedAssistance: The Doctor's attempts to help Craig (joining his football team, filling in for him at work when he's sick, trying to get Sophie to admit that she loves him, etc.) just make him look like AlwaysSomeoneBetter, driving Sophie away.
* VisualPun: The Doctor with his Sonic... Toothbrush.
* WhamLine: ''"[[PunctuatedForEmphasis There! Is! No! Upstairs!]]"''
* WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong: The Doctor has to act like a normal human when the ''most'' normal thing about him is the bowtie.
* WhenThingsSpinScienceHappens: The time scanner that the Doctor's made in his room spins around.
* YoureInsane: Craig's reaction to finding the Doctor has basically taken over his job.
-->'''Doctor:''' Had some time to kill, I was curious. Never worked in an office - never worked in anywhere!\\
'''Craig:''' You're ''insane.''