[[WMG:[[center:[-''[[Series/DoctorWho Doctor Who]]'' [[Recap/DoctorWho recap index]]\\
'''Tenth Doctor Era'''\\
'''Series 2:''' [[Recap/DoctorWho2005CSTheChristmasInvasion CS]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E1NewEarth 1]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E2ToothAndClaw 2]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E3SchoolReunion 3]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E4TheGirlInTheFireplace 4]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E5RiseOfTheCybermen 5]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E6TheAgeOfSteel 6]] | '''7''' | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E8TheImpossiblePlanet 8]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E9TheSatanPit 9]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E10LoveAndMonsters 10]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E11FearHer 11]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E12ArmyOfGhosts 12]] | [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E13Doomsday 13]]\\
'''[[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E1Rose <<< Series 1]]''' | '''[[Recap/DoctorWho2006CSTheRunawayBride Series 3 >>>]]''']]-]]]
!The Idiot's Lantern
[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/wire_8287.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:[[EvilIsHammy FEEEEEEEED]] [[ChewingTheScenery MEEEEEEEEE!!!!]]]]
->Written by Creator/MarkGatiss\\
Directed by Euros Lyn\\
'''Production code:''' 2.7\\
'''Air date:''' 27 May 2006

->''"Goodnight children, everywhere."''
-->-- '''The Wire'''

JustForFun/TheOneWith a bastard father and [[EvilIsHammy a ham-tastic alien]].

Alternatively, the one with a comically heavy usage of DutchAngle.

''Also'' alternatively, the one where the Doctor and Rose obtain a lot of glee from trolling a douchebag...
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The Doctor and Rose visit TheFifties, intent on seeing Music/ElvisPresley perform on ''Series/TheEdSullivanShow''. The TARDIS takes them to Muswell Hill in North London instead, a day before UsefulNotes/ElizabethII's coronation in 1953.

The coronation is going to be televised, which has the populace excited. Televisions are at a premium. Luckily, the owner of a local television store, Mr Magpie, is practically giving them away. That's because it's got a face-eating monster called the Wire (no, not [[Series/TheWire that one]]) inside. The Wire feeds on energy, specifically on the faces of the people watching her. Mr Magpie can count on people in TheFifties to keep anyone who's different, such as a faceless family member, tucked carefully away out of sight.

The Doctor sports some marvelous aviator sunglasses and a quiff with unequalled resilience to motorcycle helmets, but even that can't keep Rose from getting her face eaten. The Doctor and an abused kid called Tommy storm the TV store and meet the Wire. Mr Magpie puts the Wire into a portable TV and runs off to put her in the broadcasting tower at Alexandra Palace. The Doctor climbs up after Magpie (masquerading as the King of Belgium to get past the guards) and sort of electrocutes everything. Magpie is disintegrated by the Wire, the Wire is trapped in a Betamax tape and everybody gets their faces back. Tommy's bastard of a dad is kicked out of the house by his wife as everyone learns an important lesson about speaking out when things are bad. The Doctor and Rose, however, encourage Tommy to chase after his dad and see if he can't TakeAThirdOption — because even abusive 1950s fathers are still fathers. As for the Wire, the Doctor mulls over plans to tape over her someday ([[IronicDeath hopefully not with an episode of]] ''Series/TheWire'').

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!!Tropes:

* TheFifties: ''Just'' as much of the sexist, {{Stepford|Smiler}}esque bad as the idyllic, cutesy good.
* AbusiveParents: Eddie Connelly is explicitly verbally abusive to both his wife and son, and strongly hinted to be ''physically'' abusive as well.
* AlasPoorVillain: Although Magpie knowingly carried the Wire's entire plot to steal the faces of twenty million people, he's in it quite reluctantly. He's quite broken when seeing the Wire's plan through to the end, and he spends his final moments begging the Doctor and then the Wire to make the pain the latter's causing him stop: at which point, the Wire grants his plea by [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness disintegrating him with a lightning bolt]]. The Doctor himself (passingly) refers to him as "poor old Magpie" a moment after the action.
* AnachronismStew: Creator/MarkGatiss acknowledged that people would grumble that he was using the 1954 BBC logo in a 1953 setting, “but [[AcceptableBreaksFromReality that’s just pedantry]]”
* AmbiguouslyGay: In the original script for the episode Tommy was gay, and shades of this are still left in the finished version, with his father constantly berating him for his supposed unmanliness, and Tommy's comment about "people telling you who you could fall in love with" in his TheReasonYouSuckSpeech (see below). You also have his aunt telling his father to be careful of letting him become a MamasBoy, "You'll want to beat that out of him".
* AnachronisticClue: One of the first things that tips off the Doctor and Rose to the fact that something is amiss is that there are more television aerials around then there should be in London in 1953.
-->'''Rose:''' Look at all the TV aerials... looks like everyone's got one. That's weird, my nan said tellies were so rare they all had to pile into one house.\\
'''Mr. Magpie:''' Not round here, love. Magpie's Marvellous Tellies, only five quid a box.
* AndIMustScream: All of the Wire's victims have their faces and conscience sucked up and trapped inside TV screens that are inside Magpie's shop. All of the stolen faces can be seen silently begging for someone to help them.
* ArcWords: The policemen are worried about having "Torchwood on our backs."
* AttackOfTheKillerWhatever: Killer televisions.
* BaitTheDog: In his first scene, Eddie Connelly good-naturedly ruffles his son's hair and considers getting a television for him for the coronation. Every scene after that shows him to be a abusive and controlling father and husband.
* BavarianFireDrill: This is the usual purpose of the psychic paper anyway, but the Doctor accidentally persuades a policeman at Alexandra Palace that he's ''the King of Belgium'' with it, which results in the policeman calling him "Your Majesty" in a later scene.
* BigBad: The Wire is behind all the face-stealing and, indirectly, the disappearances.
* BigNo: Did we mention that the Wire is a [[LargeHam ham]]?
* BigShutUp:
-->'''Mr. Connelly:''' I AM TALKING!!\\
'''The Doctor:''' And I'm '''NOT LISTENING!!''' [[CallingTheOldManOut Now, you, Mr. Connelly,]] [[TranquilFury you are staring into a deep, dark pit of trouble if you don't let me help.]] So, I'm ordering you, ''sir'', [[SuddenlyShouting tell me what's going on!]]
* BlackSite: The Wire's victims are stored in one, disguised by a market stall in front of a gate.
* TheBlank: The Wire's victims register a lack of brain activity and faces.
* BodyHorror: The Wire ''pulls people's faces from their bodies''. You actually see people walking around with smooth skin where their face used to be. This happens to Rose... which the Doctor does ''[[PapaWolf not take well at all]]''.
* BorrowedCatchphrase: Magpie going "I'm sorry... so sorry..." when the Wire gets Rose.
* CallingTheOldManOut:
** Eddie Connelly gets the full brunt of this from his son. Then his wife joins in.
** The Doctor manages to beat them to the proverbial punch when he out-shouts him in his own living room earlier in the episode.
* ChewingTheScenery: The Wire could stand beside the Captain from [[Recap/DoctorWhoS16E2ThePiratePlanet "The Pirate Planet"]] and Creator/BrianBlessed in "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS23E2Mindwarp Mindwarp]]". Some might even argue she carries the whole episode. You start wondering how she can get so "HUNGRY!!!" when she's eaten a decent chunk of the scenery...
* ComicallyMissingThePoint:
-->'''The Wire:''' I'm the Wire. And I will gobble you up, pretty boy. Every last morsel. (Gradually turns color to show off how much strength she's gaining) And when I have feasted, I shall regain the corporeal body which my fellow kind denied me.\\
'''Bishop:''' Good Lord! ''Colour'' television!
* DadTheVeteran: Eddie is a zealously proud veteran of [=WW2=].
* DeathCryEcho: The Wire, being in the form of a television, ends up having this gradually deteriorate into what sounds suspiciously like the PAL beep.
* DeliberateValuesDissonance: Since it's TheFifties, no one in the house reacts when Eddie mentions he's going to beat his son later, just for wanting to see his grandmother. It's hard to tell if everyone else just thought he was joking (nobody but his son saw Eddie's face turn from jovial to angry), or if they just don't care.
* DisintegratorRay: Once hooked up to Alexandra Palace's broadcasting tower, the Wire is capable of shooting electricity that can do this.
* DirtyCoward: Tommy rightly accuses Eddie of this, ratting out his faceless neighbours (and mother-in-law) all for the sake of protecting his reputation.
* DisneyVillainDeath: Played with in Magpie's case. [[HeelFaceTurn He realizes the error of his ways]] and begs for peace, and [[BigBad the Wire]] responds by zapping him in cold blood and he falls from Alexandra Palace, but his body [[NoBodyLeftBehind is disintegrated]] before he hits the ground.
* TheDogBitesBack: Rita spends the better part of the entire episode quiet and living in fear of her husband's verbal abuse. When she learns Eddie was responsible for her mother being turned over to the authorities (on the grounds that she was faceless), she not only calls him out on his actions, but soon after kicks him out of her home.
* DutchAngle: Used quite liberally during this episode, particularly in scenes where the Doctor encounters London denizens that have lost their faces.
* EasilyForgiven: Downplayed. Rita and Tommy certainly aren't going to welcome Eddie back home any time soon (if ever). However, despite that Eddie wasn't so kind to them either, Rose and the Doctor encourage Tommy to talk with his dad and make sure they part on good terms.
* EnergyBeing: The Wire is made of electricity. It used to have a physical form but was executed by its species for undisclosed crimes and escaped as energy.
* EvilCannotComprehendGood: While he's more of a jerkass than evil, Eddie seems a little shocked that Rita and Tommmy are angry at him for snitching his afflicted neighbors and Rita's mother.
* EvilLaugh: From the Wire the closer it gets to the endgame.
* EvilPlan: The Wire seeks to feast on the brains of the twenty million people watching the coronation on TV and then regain a physical body.
* ExactWords: The Wire promised Magpie, who is implicitly still being tortured by the Wire through a psychic link, that he would have "peace" once he carried its plan through to the end. It upheld its end of the bargain... by blasting Magpie into oblivion with a bolt of lightning.
-->'''Magpie:''' You promised me peace!\\
'''The Wire:''' Then peace you shall ''have''!
* ExpospeakGag:
-->'''The Doctor:''' I'll use my unrivaled knowledge of trans-temporal extirpation methods to neutralize the residual electronic pattern.\\
'''Rose:''' You what?\\
'''The Doctor:''' I'm gonna tape over it.
* {{Expy}}: Mr. Connelly is similar to [[Literature/HarryPotter Uncle Vernon]] in appearance (stocky, brown mustache), abusive behavior, and obsession with appearances.
* FaceStealer: The Wire steals its victims' faces as a side effect of draining brainwaves to get enough energy for it to regain a physical form.
* FailedASpotCheck: The Doctor and Rose take off on his scooter to Ed Sullivan studios, failing to notice all the British bunting hung up for the coronation.
* ForgotAboutHisPowers: The Doctor flashes his psychic paper on a couple of occasions but doesn't use it when the police show up to take the faceless Gran away. This also happens when they go to Magpie's shop - rather than use the sonic screwdriver to open the locked door, the Doctor punches out a pane of glass and reaches around to open the lock manually, despite the protests of the police detective right behind him.
* FunnyBackgroundEvent: When DI Bishop asks the Doctor to tell them everything he knows, the Doctor [[ExactWords answers]] "Well, for starters, I know you can't wrap your hand round your elbow and make your fingers meet." One of the policemen can be seen trying it in the background.
* FreezeFrameBonus: The writing on the video tape's label has been scribbled out and started again, like the Doctor can't think of a good name for it. Even better, it's not in English but Circular Gallifreyan.
* GetOut: The last words Rita Connolly says to her abusive soon-to-be-ex-husband Eddie.
* HellIsThatNoise: The constant tapping made by a face-stolen gran against the floor of her room, which can be heard from downstairs and freaks out her family. They can't do anything for her except keep her locked away.
* HeWhoFightsMonsters: Eddie gets high and mighty about his military record, fighting Nazis, but then Tommy points out the truth. He's been informing the government about the people in the neighbourhood who've lost their faces because they're "filthy" and a threat to his reputation. In other words, he came home from a war against fascism and began practicing it at home.
* HiddenDepths: When the Wire overloads the 50s tech jerryrig the Doctor has built to trap her, Tommy manages to rejigger it to fix it and save the day.
* HilariousOuttakes: For the scene where the Doctor discovers that Rose's face has been erased, Billie Piper was wearing motion capture dots... and she and David Tennant just couldn't film the part where the police take the burlap sack off Rose's head without cracking up.
* HumiliationConga: From the moment the Doctor and Rose barge through his door, Eddie Connolly gets nothing but this for the rest of the episode.
* IronicEcho: "Tell me everything you know." First from Inspector Bishop to the Doctor, and then the Doctor to Inspector Bishop. They even reverse positions.
* KarmaHoudini: Played with. On one hand, Eddie's wife does pay him back for his abuse by standing up to him and sending him packing. On the other hand, Eddie is notably the only named character not to have his face stolen or nearly stolen by the Wire. (What embodies this trope is that he was the one who ratted out so many faceless people, including Tommy's grandmother, to the authorities.)
* LargeHam:
** The Wire:
--->'''FEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!'''
** The Doctor: "AND ''I'M'' NOT LISTENING-AH!"
* MadwomanInTheAttic: A [[TheBlank faceless]] woman in the attic who won't stop tapping the floor.
* MeaningfulEcho: An "idiot lantern" (the episode's title) is an expression for when a signal comes on in the car saying something's wrong, but it won't say ''what'' is wrong. As such, all the focal characters in the episode (from Tommy's family to Bishop) see the symptoms of ''something'' happening in their corner of London, but up until the Doctor comes into their lives, they don't know what the problem is exactly or how to solve it.
* TheMenInBlack: They arrive at people's homes unannounced and take the faceless people away under blankets.
* MindReformatDeath: The mundane solution below:
* MundaneSolution: The Doctor manages to capture an electronic lifeform who essentially exists as a living television signal... on a Betamax tape. Also, the ExpospeakGag on how he will [[MindReformatDeath permanently eliminate her]].
-->'''The Doctor:''' I'll use my unrivaled knowledge of trans-temporal extirpation methods to neutralize the residual electronic pattern.\\
'''Rose:''' You what?\\
'''The Doctor:''' I'm gonna tape over it.
* NearVillainVictory: The Wire succeeds in connecting to Alexandra Palace's mast and begins stealing the faces of everyone watching the coronation. The Doctor and Tommy, with some difficulty on either of their ends, manage to rip the Wire out of the mast and trap it on a videotape, reversing the face-stealing process before the Wire could complete its feast and regain physical form.
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: Gatiss had real world BBC {{continuity announce|ment}}r Sylvia Peters in mind when picturing the Wire’s human form.
* NoSell: The Wire is capable of using electricity to [[DisintegratorRay disintegrate]] humans, but it doesn't do anything to the Doctor beyond giving him a nasty shock, thanks in part to his shoes.
-->"Rubber soles! Swear by 'em!"
* OhCrap: Eddie Connolly's expression says this very eloquently when he realises that the Doctor isn't remotely intimidated by him, is a good deal taller than he is and is, more to the point, absolutely furious.
* OminousTelevision: Complete with face-stealing alien monster.
* PapaWolf: The Doctor does ''not'' take well to Rose's face being stolen.
-->'''The Doctor:''' They took her face and just chucked her out and left her in the street? Well, as a result... that makes things simple, very very simple. You know why?\\
'''Bishop:''' No.\\
'''The Doctor:''' Because NOW, Detective Inspector Bishop, there is no power on this ''Earth'' that can ''STOP ME!''
* PoliceAreUseless: Due to a lack of manpower because of the upcoming coronation, and the simple fact that [[OutsideContextProblem a face-stealing alien is something they simply aren't trained to deal with]].
* PopCulturedBadass: Although the Doctor owns up to it — he says that the wise person he was quoting was Music/{{Kylie|Minogue}}.
* PunctuatedForEmphasis:
-->'''Mr. Connolly:''' I! AM! TALKING!\\
'''The Doctor:''' And I'M! ''NOT!'' '''LISTENING!'''
* RageBreakingPoint:
** Minor example, while mixed in with the verbal beat-down that the Doctor is giving Eddie Connelly, Rose berates him for hanging the Union Jack upside down (it is not reflectively symmetrical, due to how the arms of the crosses are offset slightly).
--->"The Union Flag. It's only the Union Jack when flown at sea." (Her mum dated a sailor.)
** The Doctor is not happy at all 1) Rose had her face removed by the Wire and 2) that unlike the other victims, her faceless body was just thrown out and left in the street by the ones who did this to her.
--->'''The Doctor''': "They left her in the ''street''?!"
* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech:
** Tommy gives one to his father:
--->"You don’t get it, do you? You fought against fascism, remember? People telling you how to live. Who you could be friends with. Who you could fall in love with. Who could live and who had to die. Don’t you get it? You were fighting so that little twerps like me could do what we want, say what we want. Now you’ve become just like them. You’ve been informing on everyone, haven’t you? Even Gran. All to protect your precious ''reputation''."
** Later, Rita gives an indirect one about Eddie:
--->"Tommy, go with the Doctor and do some good. Get away from this house and its ''poison''. ''[angrily turns in Eddie's general direction]'' We have a ruddy monster under my roof, [[StealthInsult and it weren't my mother]]!"
* RedHerring: In one of the first scenes, the camera angle places a licence plate in the center of the shot. Given the show's propensity for CallBack and ContinuityNod, this has to mean something, right? Nope.
* ShoutOut:
** ''Theatre/LittleShopOfHorrors'': "FEED ME!"
** ''Series/{{The Prisoner|1967}}'': "Goodnight children... everywhere." It seems an appropriate show to reference, given the nature of the face-stealing.
** The Connollys' street is called Florizel Street, which was the originally planned name for ''Series/CoronationStreet'' but rejected due to testing poorly with the public.
** An incorporeal entity converting people into light waves and trapping them in a television screen somewhat recalls the ''Series/AreYouAfraidOfTheDark'' episode ''[[Recap/AreYouAfraidOfTheDarkSeason6TheTaleOfTheVirtualPets The Tale of the Virtual Pets]]''.
* SmugSnake: Mr. Connolly thinks he's much more of a force than he really is, throwing his weight around, acting like he's king of his home... then he tries to browbeat the Doctor, who responds by springing to his feet and towering over Connolly, snarling out a brief, savage, and oh-so-satisfying verbal beatdown that cuts the man off in mid-stride.
* StayInTheKitchen: [[DeliberateValuesDissonance Appropriate to the times]], mind, but Eddie Connelly believes this to its logical extreme, that women are ''only'' good for housework and staying at home, while the "real man" fights wars, and protects them. He rules his household like he was a king, at least until the Doctor arrives...
** This is then intentionally subverted by the Doctor in spectacular fashion — at least for a short while.
--->'''The Doctor:''' Mr. Connelly, what gender is the Queen?\\
'''Mr. Connelly:''' She's a female.\\
'''The Doctor:''' And are you suggesting that the ''Queen'' does the ''housework''?\\
'''Mr. Connelly:''' ''[stunned]'' Well, no!\\
'''The Doctor:''' ''[handing Mr. Connelly the Union Flags he'd just ordered his wife to put up around the room]'' Then get busy.
* TalkToTheFist:
-->'''The Doctor:''' Hold on a minute. There are three important, brilliant and complicated reasons why you should listen to me. One– ''[punched out by TheMenInBlack]''
* TalkingIsAFreeAction: The Doctor starts: "Hold on a minute! There are three important, brilliant, and complicated reasons why you should listen to me. One–" and is promptly [[TalkToTheFist KO'd with a punch to the face]].
* TapOnTheHead: Played with. The Doctor is knocked unconscious by a punch to the jaw, but he only remains so for a few seconds and quickly gets back up in pursuit of the people who punched him.
* TheTelevisionTalksBack: The Wire inhabits a television when it's not stealing faces and is quite capable of interacting with others while doing so.
* ThrowTheDogABone: "'Course he's an idiot. He's still your dad."
* TranquilFury: Rita Connolly reacts this way when she learns her husband was responsible for all the faceless people getting taken away, including her own mother.
* WaxingLyrical:
-->'''Tommy:''' It's too late.\\
'''The Doctor:''' It's never too late, as a wise person once said. ''[to himself]'' Music/{{Kylie|Minogue}}, I think...
* WifeBasherBasher: The Doctor to Eddie Connolly, in a rare nonphysical example. This includes his BigShutUp above.
* YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre: In the end, Rose and the Doctor encourage Tommy to be the bigger man and part with his dad on good terms. If he can help the Doctor save the world from the Wire, then there's no doubt he has a big heart to match his clever mind.
* YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness: Poor Mr. Magpie... zapped when the Wire no longer needs him.

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