->''We did not get any messages, and Captain Blackadder definitely did not shoot this delicious, plump-breasted pigeon.''

While trying to get out of another suicidal advance, Blackadder shoots a carrier pigeon, only to find that it's carrying a message declaring the shooting of a carrier pigeon to be a court-martial offence. To make matters worse, the pigeon in question was a favourite pet of General Melchett. Now Blackadder must find a way to get himself out of facing a firing squad.
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!!Tropes included:
* ActuallyPrettyFunny:
-->'''Blackadder:''' So, Counsel, with that summing up in mind, what are my chances, do you think?\\
'''George:''' Well, not good I'm afraid. As far as I can see from the evidence, you're as guilty as a puppy sitting beside a pile of poo.\\
'''Blackadder:''' ''[bitterly]'' ...Charming.
* AmoralAttorney: Blackadder wants to hire a very good one for his court-martial.
-->'''Edmund:''' I remember Massingbird's most famous case -- the Case of the Bloody Knife. A man was found next to a murdered body. He had the knife in his hand, thirteen witnesses had seen him stab the victim and when the police picked him up he said to them, "I'm glad I killed the bastard". Massingbird not only got him acquitted, he got him knighted in the New Year's Honour's list and the relatives of the victim had to pay to have the blood washed out of his jacket.
* AnachronismStew: Blackadder imitates a portion of the weather forecast for shipping, a much loved institution of British radio. The first shipping forecast wasn't broadcast until 1924.
* AnswerToPrayers: Played for laughs. At the end, when George and Baldrick have admitted that they forgot to send the telegram to George's uncle that would have been sure of saving his life, Blackadder says that he hopes that God will do something nasty to them both. Moments later, he receives a telephone call asking for two volunteers for "Operation Certain Death".
-->'''Blackadder:''' I'm not a religious man, but I shall pray nightly that God who killed Cain and squashed Samson comes out of retirement, and gets back into practice on the pair of you. ''[telephone rings, Blackadder answers it]'' Yes? Oh, hello Darling. ''[pause]'' Yes, well some of us just have friends in high places. ''[pause]'' What's that? You need two volunteers for a mission into No Man's Land? Codename: Operation Certain Death. Yes, I think I have ''just'' the fellows. ''[puts phone down]'' God is ''very'' quick these days.
* ArtisticLicenseHistory: Blackadder couldn't have been "rogering the Duke of York with a prize-winning leek" because, between 1910 and 1920, there ''was'' no Duke of York [[note]] George V had been the Duke of York until his father succeeded to the throne in 1901, upon which he became the Prince of Wales but kept the York title until he himself became King in 1910; his son Albert (the future George VI) was not made Duke of York until 1920[[/note]]. Justifiable, though, since the remark was made by Melchett, who is a CloudCuckoolander at the best of times and was likely angry and unable to think straight after finding out about Speckled Jim's fate.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: {{Inverted}}. Melchett opens the court-martial of Blackadder by ranting at length about how he shot Melchett's prized pigeon, Speckled Jim, and then lists the most serious charge (disobeying orders) as an afterthought.
* BlackCapOfDeath: During his opening summation Melchett asks a clerk for the black cap as "I'll be needing that".
* BlackComedy / GallowsHumor: The firing squad could be said to be overly jovial about their job.
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Melchett does this after finding out Blackadder shot his pigeon.
-->'''Darling''': I've suspected this for some time, sir. Clearly Captain Blackadder has been disobeying orders with a breath taking impertinence!
-->'''Melchett''': I don't care if he's been rogering the Duke of York with a prize-winning leek! ''He shot my pigeon''!
* CourtMartialed: Melchett is completely ready to have Blackadder shot for shooting '''his''' prize pigeon. Blackadder is supposedly on trial for disobeying orders, but Melchett barely mentions them. He fines the defense 50 pounds for turning up (Darling arguing that the case was so open and shut that the defence should be charged with wasting time) and refers to Blackadder as 'the Flanders Pigeon Murderer'. SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome occurs when one of George's relatives in His Majesty's Government reviews the case and has Blackadder's conviction thrown out because of the unfair trial. Also doubles as a KangarooCourt, of course, since Melchett was not only the alleged victim, but the presiding ''judge'' - and, in contravention of the rules, allows himself to be called as a witness.
* DisproportionateRetribution:
** Melchett's willingness to have Blackadder shot for killing his pet is a bit over the top. Fortunately for Blackadder, it's actually recognized as such in-universe, with Blackadder's conviction being quashed by the Minister of War.
** Blackadder gets back at George and Baldrick for getting so drunk they forgot to send the telegram that would get him off the hook by volunteering them for a SuicideMission into No-Man's Land.
* EasilyForgiven: No mention is made of Speckled Jim or the shooting incident again, and by the next episode, Blackadder and Melchett are back on friendly speaking terms. Of course, this ''is'' [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Melchett]] we're talking about here...
* ExactWords: See the quote at the top of the page. Blackadder tells Baldrick and George that that is their cover story if they are asked anything — so naturally, when Melchett turns up, they both repeat it word-for-word despite (in Baldrick's case) being asked a question on a totally different subject. Later, at the trial, Blackadder orders Baldrick to "deny everything", leading to him denying his own identity.
* FakeStatic: Captain Blackadder fakes intereference with the telephone system to avoid receiving Captain Darling's order to advance. The "static" includes fake orders in German and a tinny-voiced rendition of "A Wandering Minstrel I" from ''Theatre/TheMikado''.
* ForTheEvulz: Darling acting as prosecutor at Blackadder's court-martial seems to have been purely for this.
-->'''Darling''': [[PunchClockVillain Only doing my job, Blackadder]]: [[JustFollowingOrders Obeying orders]]. And of course, having ''enormous'' fun into the bargain!
* FrameUp: According to Blackadder, Creator/OscarWilde was world heavyweight boxing champion, father of 114 illegitimate children and the author of the best-selling book ''Why I Like To Do It With Girls'', only to get sent to prison for being a homosexual.
* FreudianSlip: "However, before we proceed to the formality of sentencing the deceased- I mean the defendant! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe."
* GetAHoldOfYourselfMan: {{Parodied}}. Baldrick and George are trying frantically to remember who George was supposed to write to, to stop Captain Blackadder's execution, until Baldrick grabs a cricket bat and knocks George over the head with it. George says, "No, it hasn't helped." Then Baldrick says, "Yes, it has, sir!" as ''he'' now remembers.
* HangingJudge: Melchett becomes one in a military court. He's completely ready to have Blackadder shot for shooting his prize pigeon, and though Blackadder is supposedly on trial for disobeying orders Melchett barely mentions that. He fines the Defence £50 for turning up on the grounds that the case is so open and shut they're wasting time, refers to Blackadder as "the Flanders Pigeon Murderer", and before anyone has even spoken he requests that the clerk hang on to the black cap[[note]]actually just a square of black cloth, which was placed over the judge's wig before pronouncing sentence of death[[/note]] because he'll "be needing that later."
* HeadDesk: When Baldrick is called as a witness, Blackadder tells him: "Deny everything!" Baldrick [[LiteralMinded takes him literally]] and denies ''his own name'' and position within the British army. Cut to Blackadder bashing his head against the table.
* InformedAttribute: George's Uncle Rupert is described as "mad", but not only was he made Minister of War (ie. the government minister in charge of the Army), he is able to recognise that Blackadder's trial was not at all fair and overturns the verdict. Additionally, he seems to be well aware that Melchett is an idiot. Which, if anything, makes him a perfectly sane and sensible individual. It could, of course, be the case that as a rare (for this series) example of a sane member of the aristocracy, he is merely ''seen as being mad'' by his insane relatives, like George.
* KangarooCourt: Blackadder's court martial is this. The judge and prosecutor both have clear conflicts of interest in the trial, to the point where the judge is actually called to testify for the prosecution, while Blackadder's defence attorney (George) gets fined £50 for turning up for such a supposedly OpenAndShutCase. Surprisingly, though, the Minister of War realises that the whole trial was a farce, and reverses the decision.
* KarmaHoudini: Even though the Minister of War thinks he's an "arse" who turned a court-martial into a blatant KangarooCourt, Melchett does not appear to be punished for his behaviour in any way.
* LaserGuidedKarma: Just as Blackadder calls on God to punish George and Baldrick for failing to legally rescue him from execution, a call comes in for two volunteers for "Operation Certain Death".
-->'''Blackadder:''' God is ''very'' quick these days.
* LastMinuteReprieve: Backadder gets a literal last-''second'' reprieve thanks to the Minister of War.
* LiteralMinded: When Baldrick is called to the stand to testify, Blackadder instructs him to "deny everything." Baldrick does as instructed.
-->'''George:''' Are you Private Baldrick?\\
'''Baldrick:''' No!
* MoodDissonance: The firing squad are far more cheerful than they probably should be, what with their job being to execute men.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: "Operation: Certain Death" doesn't sound like an operation that anyone should want to volunteer for.
* OhCrap:
** Blackadder is in court and he realises who the judge is...
-->'''Blackadder:''' I wouldn't be too confident if I were you. Any reasonably impartial judge is bound to let me off.\\
'''Darling:''' Well, absolutely...\\
'''Blackadder:''' Who is the judge by the way?\\
'''[[LargeHam Melchett]]:''' [[IncomingHam BAAAAAH!]]\\
'''Blackadder:''' ...I'm dead.
** Also George and Baldrick at the end of the episode, after being volunteered for Operation Certain Death.
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: The normally cheerful and unflappable General Melchett ''completely loses it'' when he learns that Blackadder killed and ate his beloved pet carrier pigeon Speckled Jim. Even Darling is surprised: instead of ordering Blackadder to be court martialed and executed, Melchett tries to kill him on the spot and Darling has to physically restrain him.
* OperationBlank: The episode ends with "Operation Certain Death" about to be launched, involving two "volunteers" being sent into No-Man's Land. Assuming that Blackadder didn't just make it up to punish George and Baldrick.
* PunchClockVillain: The firing squad. They see their job as an unpleasant necessity.
* ReasonableAuthorityFigure: George's Uncle Rupert, the new Minister of War; see SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome for details.
* RulesLawyer: When Blackadder receives a telegram ordering an advance, he dismisses it on the grounds that it's addressed to "Catpain Blackudder", who doesn't exist.
* ShoutOut: Two of the men's names in the firing squad are [[Series/DadsArmy Corporal Jones and Private Fraser]].
* SkewedPriorities: Melchett couldn't care less about the lives of his soldiers, but gets very upset when his pigeon is killed.
* SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome: Blackadder is court-martialled for killing a carrier pigeon (of which he's guilty, having shot it and tried to claim that it was killed by predators in order to deny that he ever received the order to go over the top). However, the pigeon's distraught owner, General Melchett, avenges the bird by becoming the judge for the proceedings, appointing Captain Darling as the prosecutor. Blackadder is, due to Baldrick misplacing a letter, denied his choice of defence attorney, and instead assigned the blatantly incompetent George -- who in turn is fined £50[[note]](the equivalent of just over '''£2,500''' in modern money)[[/note]] for wasting the court's time ''by turning up''. Does this sound like a blatant example of KangarooCourt to you? Well, it certainly does to George's Uncle Rupert, the new Minister of War, who upon hearing of what has happened, declares the trial a sham and pardons Blackadder, referring to Melchett as an "arse" in the process. In short, this is perhaps the one time in the entire series when someone in the British military hierarchy (other than Blackadder) behaves in a rational fashion.
* TemptingFate: There's plenty of these:
-->'''Blackadder''': Come on, George. With fifty thousand men getting killed a week, who's going to miss a pigeon?!
** And then later:
-->'''Blackadder''': Any reasonable judge is bound to let me off.
-->'''Darling''': ''([[SmugSnake grinning smugly]])'' Well, obviously.
-->'''Blackadder''': Who is the judge?
-->'''Melchett''': ''(from outside)'' [[IncomingHam BAAAAAA!]]
-->'''Blackadder''': ''[deadpan]'' [[OhCrap I'm dead]].
* UriahGambit: After Blackadder finds out that and Baldrick and George failed to do anything to save him, he [[GotVolunteered volunteers them]] to a mission named "Operation Certain Death" (though they apparently manage to survive). However, since we only hear Capt. Blackadder's side of a telephone conversation in which the operation is mentioned, it's possible that he was just making it up, knowing the two dimwits would fall for it.
* VillainHasAPoint: While he's being a petty {{jerkass}} about it, Darling's quite right to point out that Blackadder's clearly guilty of disobeying orders and shooting a carrier pigeon (although he didn't realize that the latter had been made punishable by court martial until after he'd done it). It's only because Melchett makes such a pig's ear of the ensuing court martial that George's Uncle Rupert quashes the death penalty that Melchett hands down.
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