-->'''Narrator:''' OnceUponATime -- or maybe twice -- there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland. Eighty thousand leagues beneath the sea it lay. ...Or "lie"; I'm not too sure.

-->'''Ringo:''' Woe... is... me. ''[embarrassed laugh]'' ''[awkward pause]'' ...Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night -- and this is only Thursday morning. ''[thinks]'' Compared with ''my'' life, Eleanor Rigby's was a gay mad whirl. ''[out loud]'' Nothin' ever 'appens to me. ''[thinks]'' I feel like an old splintered drumstick. ''[out loud]'' I'd jump into the River Mersey, but it looks like rain. ''[chuckles]'' ...Nothin' ever 'appens to me.

-->'''Ringo:''' I've got a hole in me pocket.

-->'''Fred:''' Frankenstein!\\
'''Ringo:''' Oh yeah, I used to go out with his sister.\\
'''Fred:''' His ''sister?''\\
'''Ringo:''' Yeah, [[StealthPun Phyllis]]. Hey, what would happen if I pulled this [[FunetikAksent leever]]? \\
'''Fred:''' You mustn't do that!\\
'''Ringo:''' Can't help it, I'm a born [[FunetikAksent Leever-pooler]].

-->'''Chief Blue Meanie:''' ''What?!'' The Glove is losing his touch!

-->'''Fred:''' By Neptune's knickerbockers! She's puttered out.\\
'''John:''' Well, maybe we should call a road service.\\
'''Paul:''' Can't, no road.\\
'''Ringo:''' And we're not sub... scribers.\\
'''George, [[FacePalm Paul]], and John:''' ''[[DontExplainTheJoke Sub]]''[[DontExplainTheJoke -scribers,]] [[CollectiveGroan oogh.]]

-->'''George:''' Maybe time's goin' on strike.\\
'''Paul:''' What for?\\
'''George:''' Shorter hours.\\
'''Ringo:''' I don't blame it. It must be very tiring being time, mustn't it?\\
'''All:''' Why?\\
'''Ringo:''' Well, it's a 24-hour day, innit?\\
'''John:''' You surprise me, Ringo.\\
'''Ringo:''' Why?\\
'''John:''' Dealing in abstracts.

-->'''John:''' There's a school of [[CallASmeerpARabbit whales]]!\\
'''George:''' They look a bit ''old'' for school.\\
'''Paul:''' University, then.\\
'''Ringo:''' University of W(h)ales?\\
'''John:''' Well, they look like dropouts to me.

-->''[After retrieving Ringo from the "Injun" attack in the Sea of Monsters]''\\
'''John:''' How was it Ringo?\\
'''Ringo:''' (H)arrowing.

-->'''Ringo:''' Pepperland! A bit salty around the edges.

-->'''John:''' What day is it?\\
'''Ringo:''' Sitar-day.\\
'''John:''' Then George'll be here.

-->'''Jeremy:''' [[RhymesOnADime Thesis, antithesis, synthesis, causes of causal causation!]]\\
'''John:''' Hey, Jeremy. What do you know about holes?\\
'''Jeremy:''' There are simply ''no'' holes in my education!\\
'''Paul:''' You mean, you haven't composed a (w)hole book?\\
'''George:''' Oh, great! What should we do?\\
'''Jeremy:''' Be empirical. Look!

--> '''Fred:''' Well, lads, what d'yer think?\\
'''John:''' Well, I think that...\\
'''Fred:''' Remember, there will be rough seas ahead. What d'yer think?\\
'''Paul:''' Well, then, erm...\\
'''Fred:''' Pounding, overwhelming waves! What d'yer think of that, eh?\\
'''George:''' Well, I think that...\\
'''Ringo:''' As a matter of fact, I--\\
'''All Beatles:''' I think...\\
'''Fred:''' Well?\\
'''All Beatles:''' I've forgotten!\\
'''Fred:''' Right, then, let's get this vessel all shipshape.\\
'''George:''' I kinda like the way it is: [[ShapedLikeItself Submarine-shaped.]]

-->'''George:''' ''[points]'' Hey, that's a funny place to leave a goldfish bowl. ''[The Fab Four wander off]''\\
''[Cut to the Fab Four near the giant ball]''\\
'''John:''' In Pepperland, all things are possible.\\
'''Paul:''' It's not a goldfish bowl.\\
'''George:''' Just a big glass bowl, and--\\
'''Paul:''' Yeah, it's ''blue'' glass.\\
'''Ringo:''' Must be from Kentucky.\\
''[Paul knocks on the glass, then the band appear]''\\
'''John:''' Hey, there's something inside.\\
'''Ringo:''' Four fellas.\\
'''George:''' What are they doing there?\\
'''Paul:''' They're not having a ball. That's for sure.\\
'''Ringo:''' It can't be!\\
'''Paul:''' It's ''us!''\\
'''John:''' But we're here.\\
'''Paul:''' It's Sgt. Pepper's--\\
'''Ringo:''' --[[FinishingEachOthersSentences Lonely]]--\\
'''George:''' --[[FinishingEachOthersSentences Hearts Club]]--\\
'''John:''' --[[FinishingEachOthersSentences Band]].\\
'''George:''' The resemblance is truly striking.\\
'''John:''' If I could come in here, I think the theory put forward by Einstein--\\
''[Ringo holds his ears in a "{{Here we go again}}!" manner; George holds his nose in disgust]''\\
'''Paul:''' ''[sings to himself]'' Any old Ein Any old Ein / Any any any old Einstein...\\
'''John:''' ''[continuing uninterrupted]'' --could well be applied here. The people in the ball are obviously extensions of our own personality, suspended as it were in time, frozen in space according to the now-famous theory of relativity--\\
'''George:''' John!\\
'''John:''' --which briefly explained, is simply a matter of taking two eggs--\\
'''George:''' John!!\\
'''John:''' --[[{{Metaphorgotten}} beating lightly, adding a little salt and pepper according to the taste]]--\\
'''George:''' ''JOHN!!!''\\
'''John:''' George?\\
'''George:''' How do we get them out?\\
'''John:''' Break the glass.\\
''[The remaining three, having tried this while John was talking, shrug helplessly]''\\
'''Paul:''' We can't.\\
'''George:''' It's Beatle-proof.\\
'''John:''' ''Nothing'' is Beatle-proof.\\
'''Paul:''' Hey, have you got your drumsticks with yer? A drum break might shatter it!\\
'''Ringo:''' No, I haven't.\\
'''George:''' Have a look in your pocket.\\
'''Ringo:''' Hey, [[BrickJoke I've got a hole in me pocket]]! Here, I wonder if-- ''[He puts the hole on the ball, letting out smoke]'' Yeah, it still works.\\
'''George:''' Ringo, we take back all we said.\\
'''John:''' You're a genius.\\
'''Paul:''' Sheer genius.\\
'''Ringo:''' I know, I know, I know. Like color telly.\\
'''John:''' Like crystal.\\
'''Paul:''' Hey, they're decanting.

-->'''Boob:''' I must complete my bust, two novels, finish my blueprints, begin my Beguine.\\
'''John:''' Hey, Jeremy, must you always talk in rhyme?\\
'''Boob:''' If I spoke prose, you'd all find out I don't know what I talk about!

-->'''John:''' And who the Billy Shears are you?\\
'''Boob:''' Who? Ah, who indeed am I?!! ''[hands each one a card]''\\
'''John:''' "Jeremy".\\
'''Paul:''' "Hilary".\\
'''George:''' "Boob".\\
'''Ringo:''' (Trying to read "Ph.D.") Ffffffffffffud.\\
'''All four Beatles:''' Who?

-->'''Ringo:''' First time I saw that 'Nowhere Man' .... That 'nobody'..... ''I'' knew he was Somebody.\\
'''John:''' You were right.

-->'''John:''' Then brothers in war, to the skirmish. Must we 'ence?\\
'''John 2:''' ''Shall'' we 'ence?\\
'''Paul:''' Let's not waste anymore time sitting on the 'ence, BEATLES TO BATTLE! ''CHAAAARGE!''

-->'''George:''' It's all in the mind you know.
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