->''"A handful of swords in ''[[Literature/LordOfTheRings Lord of the Rings]]''\\
Orcrist, Sting and lovely Glamdring\\
Magical blades that it was soon found\\
Would glow a bit blue when orcs were around\\
One wonders [[FridgeLogic if it's that useful a feature]]\\
'Cause orcs [[FailedASpotCheck aren't really the subtlest creature]]\\
Would your sword really spot them before ''you'' do?\\
Whatever, it's also a thing that glows blue"''
-->--'''Creator/BenCroshaw''', [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/jim-yahtzees-rhymedown-spectacular/8697-Glow-Blue "Glow Blue"]]

->''"At my most bad-ass, I make people feel like they want to take a shower.''
-->-- '''Moist''' on his 'super power', ''WebVideo/DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog''

->"''And he's got all sorts of other spells, but I seriously doubt the tickle charm is gonna help him much in the fight, so let's move on.''"
-->--''DeathBattle[[http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lRLuPHvF6Fo : Luke Skywalker VS Harry Potter]]''

->''My power is so ridiculous.''
-->--[[VideoGame/MegaMan2 Bubble Man]], ''[[Music/TheMegas Promise of Redemption]]''

->''"It's ''useless,'' that's what it is! Ma-Ti is the weakest one of all! Haw haw haw!"''
-->-- '''Wheeler''' answering himself [[LampshadeHanging asking the trope name]] in issue #3 of the ''CaptainPlanet'' ComicBook

->"And [[ButtMonkey Meltman]]! With the power to... ''(DramaticPause)'' [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin MELT]]!"
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ActionLeagueNOW!''

->'''Chicken''': You know the chickens are always ready to help you any way we can. But as you know...
->'''Squeezit''': What can chickens do?
->'''Chicken''': Precisely.
-->--''Film/ForbiddenZone''

->"We once summoned CaptainPlanet without heart... that guy was a dick."\\
-- '''Dellombra''', the ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'' Off-Topic Forums

->"I couldn't believe it when I figured out your powers. I mean, could they be any more pathetic?"
-->-- '''Yana Savari''', ''Literature/{{Fingerprints}}''

->"She has the power to turn people ''bald''?! That is ''rubbish'' - (points dramatically) Bald! Bald! Bald!"
-->-- '''Nathan''', ''Series/{{Misfits}}''

->"I can only make Japanese snacks. I am a bullshit magician."
-->-- '''Junichi''', in the ''VisualNovel/DaCapo'' Visual Novel.

->"...Which might explain the ''intensity'' that she brings to her position as '''Sailor Mercury''', mistress of bubbles. She certainly seems to ''enjoy'' the work more viscerally than the others do. It makes her ''smile''. Unfortunately, she has to date been delegated to a support role, due to lack of power output. I mean, really, ''bubbles''?"
-->--[[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=10867582&postcount=196 [In Which I Watch] Sailor Moon]]

->'''Octopus''': The Pain. His special ability was [[BeeBeeGun being covered in bees]].
->'''Wolf''': Zat's a special ability?
->'''Octopus''': ''I'' sure can't do it.
-->--''TheLastDaysOfFOXHOUND''

->"IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU SAVED YOUR RECEIPT FROM THIS TRANSACTION? PLEASE IMMEDIATELY RETURN YOUR VAMPIRISM BECAUSE THAT IS THE WORST SUPERPOWER OF ALL FUCKING TIME."
-->--'''MarkReadsTwilight'''

->[[CallingYourAttacks Useless Attack Blast!]]
-->'''Sailor Mercury''', ''WebVideo/SailorMoonAbridged''

->'''ComicBook/{{Aquaman}}:''' My ability to speak with fish is of no help, Wonder Woman!\\
'''WonderWoman:''' ''(rolls eyes)''
-->--Creator/CartoonNetwork short [[CrossOver crossing over]] ''{{Superfriends}}'' and ''ThePowerpuffGirls''

->'''{{Jenna Marbles}}''':...Heart? Question mark?...[[ClusterFBomb That kid got fuckin' screwed--that's not a power...Here's all my friends with these tangible cool fuckin' powers, and I get 'Heart'--FUCK. YOU.]]
-->--'''Jenna Marbles on [[http://youtu.be/ROZjaxT_0Hw?t=2m45s What Kid Shows Taught Me]]'''

->'''Wonderheart Bear''': I have this crummy old heart. It could be anything.
-->--''[[WesternAnimation/CareBearsWelcomeToCareALot Care Bears: Welcome to Care-a-Lot]]'', "In a Flash"

->''"Killing [[VideoGame/MegaMan3 Top Man]] was the key to getting Mega Man's most useless Power-Up. The Top Spin took away all the barriers we'd put up between video games and [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative figure skating]]."''
-->--'''Creator/{{Seanbaby}}'''

->Andrew Hussie: [Doze] is slow.\\
Caliborn: THAT'S A HORRIBLE POWER.\\
Caliborn: HOW IS THAT EVEN A POWER.\\
Andrew Hussie: It just is.
-->--''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''

->''"I'm just trying to figure out what I can do with a man whose weakness is [[WeaksauceWeakness room temperature.]]"''
-->--'''[[{{ComicBook/X-Men}} Xavier]]''' fires Iceman, ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df87Ip_NXq8 The Pete Holmes Show]]''

->''"Look, we’ve all heard the constant jokes about how {{Aquaman}} sucks because he talks to fish lol, and I will 100% agree with you that they are terrible, lazy gags that have been beaten so far into the ground over the past three decades that I’m amazed nobody struck oil. Worse, they became a shorthand for superheroes as a whole, so that anyone who wanted to look down on the entire genre of superhero comics — and frequently the entire medium — could smirk their way through repeating them ad infinitum...But the thing is, they’re not exactly crafted from whole cloth. The thing that really makes them sting, that made them the ultimate superhero reader put-down for so long, and the thing that Aquaman’s ardent defenders don’t want to admit is that they’re true."''
-->--'''Chris Sims''', [[http://comicsalliance.com/ask-chris-137-aquaman-super-friends-justice-league/ "Aquaman is Basically Terrible"]]

->''"Magneto finally realizes that it was Cortez who launched the missile, trying to provoke Magneto into wiping out humanity. Magneto confronts him, but it turns out that he’s grown dependent on Cortez’s powers, which are… uh… hang on… 'the ability to bolster another mutant’s power.' So he’s basically the s**tty class in an {{MMORPG}}. No wonder he’s so mad all the time."''
-->--The ''WesternAnimation/{{X-Men}}'' Episode Guide, [[http://comicsalliance.com/the-x-men-episode-guide-4x06-sanctuary-part-1-animated-series/ "Sanctuary, Part 1"]]

->''"Hey, wait a minute. Killing someone from long distance while making a loud noise? Isn't that the exact same power as a '''man with a gun'''?"''
-->-- '''''{{WebAnimation/Zero Punctuation}}''''', ''{{VideoGame/Dark}}''

->''So... basically, Ed's miracle machine turns people into salivating morons who think they're seeing floating fish. You know, Ed, you could have saved yourself a lot of time and effort and just given him a dose of LSD.''
-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on ''Film/BatmanForever''

->''"Eros' superpower, besides achieving a preternatural douchebag look that is envied by Lacoste-shirt-wearing, collar-popping frat boys all over the world, is the ability to stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain. Yes, his name is Eros, and he gives you pleasure. That's the kind of things you only read on a male prostitute's business card."''
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}'''

->''"Meanwhile, the Jackal's [[VillainTeamUp recruitment drive continues]], this time hooking up with the Tarantula, a South American assassin with -- get this -- [[NiceShoes pointy shoes]] which he uses to stun or drug his enemies by kicking them. He's actually cooler than he sounds, but not by much."''
-->--'''''[[http://asitecalledfred.com/comics101/69.html Comics 101]]''''' on ''ComicBook/TheCloneSaga''

->'''Super Sam:''' Anti Timmy Force Four? Sounds villainous to me.
->'''Wet Willie:''' Please tell me they're near a coastline.
->'''Dark Mark:''' This Anti Timmy Force Four must be plotting to take over this galaxy. We must crush them!
->'''Wet Willie:''' -or pool? Perhaps a fountain?
->'''Timmy:''' What? No! They were my friends!
->'''Joan Jet:''' That's what they wanted you to think.
->'''Dark Mark:''' I'll press these randomly beeping and colorful buttons to track down their exact location. (presses buttons)
->'''Wet Willie:''' A tub? A damp sponge? Throw me a bone, will you? A wet bone.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents'', "Power Pals"

->'''''bluhbluhthisisgarbage asked:''' "What do Heart powers do?"''
->''"Maybe we’ll find out later?????? For now, let’s say they make you extremely likely to get beaten to death by a rowdy {{juggalo}}."''
-->--'''AndrewHussie''', via {{Tumblr}}, on what exactly [[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} Nepeta's Heart powers]] were supposed to entail

->''Despite a range of powers that extend to "bright lights that can hurt a bit," [[ComicBook/{{X-Men}} Jubilee]] has been in every group and series with an "X" in the title except [=XXXtube=] (give it time)... They've tried for years to make her kick ass, equipping her with everything from graviton gloves through Pym Particles to antigravity plates. They even -- no shit -- turned her into a vampire, going so far as to transfuse her with Wolverine's blood. They even got rid of her stupid original powers, but it's a lost cause: If traumatic orphanization doesn't make you kick ass at fighting crime, nothing will. (Her main function is now as a living museum of the superheroic fashion mistakes.)''
-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-8-worst-x-men-ever_p2/#ixzz2akxjJ4VT The 8 Worst X-Men Ever]]"
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