->'''Church''': O'Malley, from now on, if anyone's going to make [Tex] cranky in the morning, it's gonna be me.
->'''Tex''': Aww, how sweet.
->'''Church''': Shut up, bitch.
->'''Tex''': Asshole.
-->-- '''''WebAnimation/RedVsBlue'''''

->''"Snake, in China they say, 'Though brothers may quarrel at home, outside they defend each other from slight.'"''
-->-- '''Mei Ling''', ''VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl''

-> '''Black Mage''': I have a friend.\\
'''White Mage''': What you ''have'' is a highly dysfunctional relationship based exclusively on abuse\\
'''Black Mage''': Right. A friend.\\
'''White Mage''': See that, that right there, ''that's'' what's wrong with you.\\
'''Black Mage''': Damnit, Fighter. White Mage doesn't like me because you're a rotten friend.
-->-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

->'''Justin Taylor''': I hate you!
->'''Eddie [=McDowd=]''': Justin, [[BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord hate is a very strong word]].
-->-- ''Series/OneHundredDeedsForEddieMcdowd''

->''Just because I give you crap doesn't mean I hate you. If I hated you, I wouldn't talk to you at all.''

->Levan smiled. "When I hear two people spar like that, I am certain that there is actually a profound affection between them."
->"Oh, God," said Rubin, visibly revolted. His sparse beard bristled and his eyes, magnified through the thick lenses of his glasses, glared.
->"You've hit it, Mr. Levan," said Gonzalo. "Manny would give me the shirt off his back if no one were looking. The only thing he wouldn't give me is a kind word."
-->--Creator/IsaacAsimov, "The Wrong House"

->'''Chi:''' ...I just realized that I don't think of you as a friend at all.
->'''Christopher:''' W-what?! Does that mean you think of me as a lover, then?!
->'''Chi:''' You're someone I'd love to kill, but circumstances prevent me from doing so. For almost four decades now, come to think of it...
-->-- ''[[LightNovel/{{Baccano}} 1933 - The Slash: Bloody to Fair]]''

->'''Edward:''' So ... what do I do when I run into Reggie again? I mean, I came ''this'' close to reorganizing his landscape.\\
'''Thomas:''' Suck it up. Apologize. Be the bigger man. Heh. Metaphorically.\\
'''[[TheNapoleon Edward]]:''' Right. How are you my friend again?\\
'''Thomas:''' My abuse is playful and originates from genuine caring.
-->--''Webcomic/BetweenFailures 437'', "[[http://betweenfailures.com/archive/437-playful-abuse/ Playful Abuse]]"

->'''Hobbes:''' You know, maybe we don't need enemies.
->'''Calvin:''' Yeah, best friends are about all I can take.

->''But Calvin and Hobbes were still best friends, and that would never change.''
->''No matter how much one ticked the other off.''
-->-- ''Fanfic/CalvinAndHobbesTheSeries'', [[Recap/CalvinAndHobbesTheSeriesS1E26TheCaseOfTheRogueWaterBalloon "The Case of the Rogue Water Balloon"]]

->''Hobbes, as we all know, is Calvin's closest friend, and not just because [[ThereIsOnlyOneBed they have to share a bed.]] Despite a truckload of arguments and disagreements, Calvin and Hobbes are both dependent on each other. Calvin [[CloudCuckoolandersMinder sometimes to bring Hobbes back down to Earth when he gets too overconfident]] and Hobbes needs Calvin to keep his life interesting. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Oh, and he also needs Calvin for]] [[TrademarkFavoriteFood tuna.]]''
-->-- ''Fanfic/CalvinAndHobbesTheSeries'', [[Recap/CalvinAndHobbesTheSeriesS4E10TalesOfATiger "Tales of a Tiger"]]

->'''Varric:''' Carver.
->'''Carver:''' Still think you're helping while bearing us in debt to your brother?
->'''Varric:''' Still riding side-saddle while bitching at your betters?
->'''Carver:''' Drinks later?
->'''Varric:''' Never miss 'em.
-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''

->'''Robert:''' I swear, if I wasn't your King, you would have hit me already.
->'''Ned:''' The worst thing about your coronation is that I can never hit you again.
->[''Robert's squire struggles with his breastplate when Ned enters the tent.'']
->'''Squire:''' It was made too small, your grace. It won't go.
->'''Robert:''' Your mother was a dumb whore, with a fat arse! [''to Ned''] Look at this idiot! He can't even put a man's armour on properly!
->'''Ned:''' [''matter-of-fact''] You're too fat for your armour.
->'''Robert:''' Fat? Fat, is it?! Is that how you speak to your king?!!
->[''Ned and Robert stare at one another. Ned smirks. Robert bursts out laughing. Ned follows, and then nervously, the Squire.'']
->'''Robert:''' [''grimly''] That's ''funny'', is it?
->'''Squire:''' No, your Grace.
->'''Robert:''' No?! You don't like [[NumberTwo the Hand's]] joke?!
->'''Squire:''' [''dumb-founded'']
->'''Robert:''' You heard the Hand: the king is too fat for his armour! Go find the breast-plate-stretcher! Go!
->[''The squire flees'']
->'''Ned:''' 'The breast-plate-stretcher'?
->'''Robert:''' [[SnipeHunt How long before he figures it out?]]
->'''Ned:''' Maybe I should invent it.

->'''Jon''': You're the worst possible friend a man could have.
->'''Phillip''': I hate you too, buddy. I hate you too.
-->-- ''[=Goats=]''

->'''Walt:''' How are you doing Martin, you crazy Italian prick?
->'''Barber Martin:''' Walt, your cheap bastard. I should have know you should come in right now. I was having such a pleasant time.
->'''Walt:''' What did you do, cheat some blind man out of his money, gave him the wrong change?
->'''Barber Martin:''' Whos the nip?
->'''Walt:''' Oh, he is a pussy kid from next door. I am just trying to Man him up a little bit.
->'''Barber Martin:''' Hmm...
->'''Walt:''' You see kid, thats how guys talk to one another.
->'''Thao:''' ...they do?
->'''Barber Martin:''' What, you got chip in your ears?
->'''Walt:''' Go on out, and come back in and talk to him like a real man.
->'''Thao:''' [Exits and re-enters the shop] Excuse me Sir, I need a haircut if you ain't too busy you old Italian son of a bitch prick barber. Boy, does my ass hurt from all of the guys at my construction job
->'''Barber Martin:''' [Picks up and point a rifle at Thao] Get out of my shop before I blow your head off, you goddamn dick sucker! Go!
->'''Walt:''' What the hell are you doing?! You just don't go in and insult a man in his own shop!
-->-- ''Film/GranTorino''

->[[color:teal:[=gC: YOU S33 W3 4R3 M34NT TO B3 B3ST H4T3FR13NDS FOR3V3R=]]]
-->-- '''[[VoiceWithAnInternetConnection gallowsCalibrator]]''' ([[LeetLingo sic]]) to [[TheSmartGuy Rose Lalonde]], ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''

--> ''"whereas i will offer dave a tender bro embrace, and shove karkat down a flight of friendship stairs."''
-->-- '''John''' from ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'' discussing his plans for meeting up with his friends

->'''Wonder Woman''': What about us? Are we good?
->'''Hawkgirl''': Like oil and vinegar. We go together, but we don't mix.
->'''Wonder Woman''': Works for me.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeagueUnlimited''

->"Eiji and I may have different objectives, and we may undermine each other... but at least we're honest about it."
-->-- '''Ankh''', ''Series/KamenRiderOOO''

->'''Kel''': I can't believe my best friend is a son of a bandit.
->'''Kenan''': I can't believe my best friend is a doofus.
-->-- ''Series/KenanAndKel''

->''No, Daffy always comes back. I just tell him how much I need him. We hug, we cry, I drop something heavy on him, I laugh.''
-->-- '''WesternAnimation/BugsBunny''', ''Film/LooneyTunesBackInAction''

->''Who else but a bosom buddy [[WhatTheHellHero will tell you how rotten you are?]]''
--> -- '''Mame'''

->'''Franchise/{{Spider Man}}:''' Wow, [[Franchise/{{Superman}} Supes]] must mean a lot for you to go to all this trouble to find him.\\
'''Franchise/{{Batman}}:''' 'Supes' is a headstrong, naive idiot without the least bit of common sense in these situations.\\
'''Spider-Man:''' [''laughs'']\\
'''Batman:''' But only ''I'm'' allowed to say that.\\
'''Spider-Man:''' ''[meekly]'' Yes, sir.
-->-- ''[[FanFic/ImAMarvelAndImADC Marvel/DC After Hours]]''

->'''Wrex''': Garrus...I have to make friends with the one turian in the galaxy who thinks he's funny.
->'''Garrus''': Imagine how I feel. I'm supposed to hate krogan, but you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality.

->'''Skwisgaar Skwigelf:''' I will sees you in Vallhalska...
->'''Toki Wartooth:''' I've always hated you Skwisgaar.
->'''Skwisgaar Skwigelf:''' I knows Toki... I knows.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Metalocalypse}}''

->A good friend helps you up when you trip. A ''best'' friend laughs at your ass and trips you again.
-->--''An old joke''

->''Look how we get along together. (You are incredibly annoying)''
->''I think it's great the way we blend. (You're like a bone stuck in my throat)''
->''You've tried to be as tough as leather. (This isn't something I'm enjoying).''
->''But now I see that's just pretend. (I shoulda left you on that boat!)''
->''We'll find our way through stormy weather. (You want a friend? Go find a snail!)''
->''Just you and me right to the end. (Or better yet, Killer Whale!)''
->''Hey buddy, looks like we're two birds of a feather. (Don't call me buddy!)''\\
''And, gee, it looks like I got me a friend!''
->-- ''WesternAnimation/ThePebbleAndThePenguin''

->''Cause we're frenemies\\
We like disliking one another\\
Cause we're frenemies\\
He's like my least favorite brother!''
-->--'''Buford and Baljeet''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', "Lotsa Latkes"

-> ''Their relationship is a bit complicated. When they're together, they can't stop bickering each other, but when they're separated, they really get bored.''
-->--'''[[ComicBooks/MiniMonsters David Ramirez]]''', about [[SpoiledBrat Victor]] and [[GadgeteerGenius Frank]]'s relationship.

->''No, you guys don't need to kill me more. [[{{LetsPlay/Chuggaaconroy}} Chugga]] needs to kill me more. You guys are fine.''
-->-- '''LetsPlay/ProtonJon''', ''LetsPlay/TheRunawayGuys''

->'''{{Franchise/Sonic|The Hedgehog}}''': What's up, Shadow!\\
'''Shadow''': Not you again.\\
'''Sonic''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Nice to see you, too]].
-->-- ''VideoGame/ShadowTheHedgehog''

->'''Scott''': How did you know that?
->'''Kyle''': Because we're his friends.
->'''Scott''': Then why are you telling me?
->'''Kyle''': [[TheFriendNobodyLikes Because we hate him.]]

->'''Strong Bad:''' I thought we were bros!
->'''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner:''' Wait, I thought ''I'' thought we were bros, and you're always beating various stuffings out of me.
-->-- ''VideoGame/StrongBadsCoolGameForAttractivePeople'', "Episode 2: Strong Badia The Free"

->'''Genis:''' "Um, what exactly is the relationship between you two, anyway?"
->'''Sheena:''' "Insufferable!"
->'''Zelos:''' "Insufferable yet inseparable!"
-->--''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia OVA Tethe'alla Chapter''

->'''Gen:''' You can't kill me! I'm your best friend!
->'''Usagi:''' ''Grrrr...'' So you keep telling me!
-->-- ''ComicBook/UsagiYojimbo''

->'''Kitty Pryde''': Disappointed, Ms. Frost?
->'''Emma Frost''': Astonished, Ms. Pryde.
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{X-Men}}''

->'''Yugi:''' No, I was talking about the time I saved you from that bully!
->'''Joey:''' Oh... eh, no, no I don't remember that.
->'''Yugi:''' But I was all heroic and stuff...
->'''Joey:''' ...Hey, remember the time me and Tristan took your millennium puzzle?
->'''Tristan and Joey from flashback:''' Tooooormeeeeeent!
->'''Yugi:''' ...Remind me why we're friends again?
--> -- '''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGAl9__U8Uk&feature=plcp Episode 3]]

->"The things I do for friends I can't stand."
-->'''{{Taskmaster}}''' referring to SelfDemonstrating/{{Deadpool}}

->''If Im not being emotionally abused then how do I know its friendship?''
-->-- '''Jonasson''', creator of ''Webcomic/TwoGuysAndGuy'' commenting on [[http://www.twogag.com/archives/1373 strip 084]]

->'''Flavius''' ''(about Spock and [=McCoy=])'': Are they enemies?
->'''Kirk''': I'm not sure ''they're'' sure.
-->--''StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'', "Bread and Circuses."

->'''Goku:''' Hey Vegeta, we're friends now, right?
->'''Vegeta:''' F**k off.
->'''Goku:''' The best!

->''My Ally advantage and Archenemy flaw can't both represent the same person.''
-->--''Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedtoDoinanRPG'' #1444

->Shes a flighty good time buddy in the corner of the bar
->But shed fight the Devil for ya just for being who you are
->And shes the last to cast a stone though shed love to leave you mad
->Aw shes every friend Ive ever had
-->-- "Every Girl" by Turnpike Troubadours