->''[[QuoteMine "I always walk around out here in Texas with my strap-on,]] [[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud uh...]]"''
-->- '''Ghost'''

->'''Caller:''' ''Harmony I love you! Silverpony, you my girl! Derpykins, you my nigga! You my nigga-''
->'''Ghost:''' ''Stupid fruitbowl, GEDDIMOFF!''
--> '''True Capitalist Radio,''' 8/02/11

->''"LOSCHLIEBEN, SCHLIEBEN, SCHLOGGIN, VOLKSWAGON ON MY SCHLONGHEADEN!"''
-->- '''Ghost''', [[BlatantLies speaking German]]

->''[[QuoteMine "And all you assholes who say I'm racist- hey! It's the truth!"]]''
-->- '''Ghost'''

->''"If the world is dark and your friends seem fickle, just grab some poop and give it a tickle!"''
-->- '''wise words from [[TheDragon Senator Pooptickler]]'''

->''"Congratulations Ghost, you're the new Rainbow Dash! AW YEAH BEST DAY EVER"''
-->- '''Tango Whiskey'''

->'''Tub Guy''' ''"Ghost, let's have a three way with Rick Perry. Oh my!"''
->'''Ghost:''' ''"Are you in the tub?!"''
->'''Tub Guy:''' ''"There's a distinct possibility, my good sir!"''
-> '''Ghost:''' ''"Ah Jesus Christ, geddemoff- I mean, HE'S CALLING ME FROM THE TUB, GOOD GOD!"''
-->- '''True Capitalist Radio'''

->'''Ghost:''' ''"Is this you calling me from the tub again?!"''
->'''Tub Guy:''' ''"When the hell do I '''not''' call you from the tub, my good sir?"''
-->- '''True Capitalist Radio'''

->''"Let's see, we got, uh... '[=ImDeflectingPearlsHere=]'- OH SCREW YOU!"''
-->- '''True Capitalist Radio,''' twitter shoutouts

-> "POOPTICKLER?! WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS POOP TICKLER?!"
--> —Ghost's reaction to the Pooptickler family

-> '''Caller''': ''Ghost, I came here cuz of the trolls, you're actually pretty funny.[[superscript:[?] ]]''\\
'''Ghost''': ''Well, of course, cuz I bring da lulz better than anybody THROUGHOUT THE WORLD!!''
--> — Radio Graffiti, July 13th, 2011

->''"Wake up in the morning next to Alex Jonesey ''
->''Ghost waddles down the stairs and watches My Little Pony."''
--> - Opening lines of the [[Music/{{Kesha}} Tik Tok]] parody played on December 16th, 2011

->'''Caller''' (in nerdy voice)''':''' ''"Um, hi, so, which candidate should I vote for if i want to maximize my chances of being able to legally download hardcore tentacle hentai?"''
->'''Ghost:''' ''How about you kill yourself?''
--> - Radio Graffiti, May 4, 2012

->''"This is Bathhouse Thursday...''
->''You're fruitin' it up 'cuz you're gay''
->''And you're takin' it in the pooper!"''
--> - Ghost's own take on Music/DepecheMode's "World in My Eyes."

->''[[QuoteMine "I mean, hell, in my personal opinion, Sarah Palin's a good piece of ass."]]''
-->- '''Ghost'''

->''[[FaceHeelTurn "I am the Teutonic Plague, and I support Team Engineer."]]''
-->- '''Teutonic Plague, October 3rd, 2016,''' [[EtTuBrute kicking off a month of betrayals...]]

->''[[WhamLine "I, Teutonic Plague, am a brony."]]''
-->- '''Teutonic Plague, October 28th, 2016, '''[[BookEnds ...and concluding a month of betrayals.]]

-> '''Caller:''' ''"Hello?"''
-> '''Ghost:''' ''"Goodbye."''
--> - '''A frequent conversation with unprepared callers on the show.'''