[[folder:Comic Books]]

->''It's so absurdly simple! I can control this storm! All I have to do is--''
-->-- '''[[MadScientist Mutran]]''', just before getting fried, ''Toys/{{BIONICLE}}''

->'''Fone Bone:''' Those Rat Creatures would have to be pretty stupid to follow me onto this frail little branch [over a waterfall]\\
''[beat, as the Rat Creatures [[TemptingFate do exactly that]]]''\\
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Bone}}''


[[folder:Film -- Live-action]]

->''I don't want another murder in this case, and you were born to be murdered.''
-->-- '''[[DeadpanSnarker Major Calloway]]''' (to Holly Martins), ''Film/TheThirdMan''

->''The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.''
-->-- '''Goose''', ''Film/TopGun''

->''You just went and made a new dinosaur? [[LampshadeHanging Probably not a good idea]].''
-->-- '''Owen''', ''Film/JurassicWorld''



->''Stupidity is the only natural capital crime.''
-->-- '''Creator/RobertAHeinlein''', ''The Notebooks of Lazarus Long''

->''Thoth sprang up, blood mounting darkly to his face, while his eyes flamed with the stunned fury of a man who suddenly realizes the full depths of a fool's swinish stupidity.''
-->-- '''Creator/RobertEHoward''', "[[Franchise/ConanTheBarbarian The Phoenix On The Sword]]," as Thoth-Amon realizes that Dion has his lost RingOfPower and doesn't even know it.

->''Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting "All gods are bastards".''
-->-- '''Rincewind''' on Twoflower, ''Discworld/TheColourOfMagic''

->''Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in [[Literature/{{Discworld}} Ankh]]-[[WretchedHive Morpork]], but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of [[WretchedHive the Shades]] was suicide. Asking for a short beer in a [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame dwarf]] bar was suicide. Saying '[[SiliconBasedLife Got rocks in your head]]?' to a [[AllTrollsAreDifferent troll]] was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren't careful.''
-->-- ''Discworld/MenAtArms'', Creator/TerryPratchett

->''Pages one and two had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested Eagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of nest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier-mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it.''
-->-- ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy''

->''I've never seen someone so prone to life-threatening idiocy!''
-->-- '''Alice Cullen''' to '''Bella Swan''', ''[[{{Literature/Twilight}} New Moon]]''

->'''Moiraine:''' DO NOT go out into Shadar Logoth, or touch anything!\\
'''Mat:''' Let's go out into Shadar Logoth and touch things!\\
'''Rand''' and '''Perrin:''' Good idea.
-->-- ''Literature/TheWheelOfTime'' [[http://www.dragonmount.com/forums/topic/77089-the-wheel-of-time-summaries-by-isam-spoilers-till-book-cot/ mock summary]]


[[folder:Live-action TV]]

->''Hey, the cop never said anything about doing intensely stupid things!''
-->--'''Tom Servo''', ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', "Last Clear Chance", right before the characters get hit by a train.

->''Please do not use this electrical appliance while you're in the bath. Actually, you know what? Go on. If you're that dumb, I think we can afford to lose ya!''
-->-- '''Ed Byrne''' on [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JURo7tQwwEs Mock the Week]]

->''I clean my knives in a crossbow. Some people say it's foolish... I put them in the hoover and set it on blow and just shoot water at them around the kitchen, as I sit with a plug -- bare-wired... at my feet... '''PEEING ON IT!''' All to get a better clean.''
-->-- '''Phil Jupitus''' on ''Series/{{QI}}'' after hearing about the fatal accidents involving dishwasher users impaling themselves on the cutlery basket because they put all the knives in pointing up -- all to get a better clean.

->''I think I might've [[JugglingLoadedGuns shot myself]] a bit.''
-->-- '''Sgt. Penhale''', ''Series/DocMartin''

->''I am too stupid to LIVE!''
-->-- '''Rebecca Howe''', ''Series/{{Cheers}}''

->'''Doggett''': I think I just solved this case. This kid had crap for brains and the flies couldn't resist.\\
'''Reyes''': Oh, and ''you'' were such a choirboy growing up?\\
'''Doggett''': I mean, we did some stupid stuff, but we didn't know it was stupid at the time. This isn't just stupid, this is '''glorification''' of stupid. These kids take enormous pride in being sub-mental.
-->--''Series/TheXFiles'', "Lord of the Flies"

->''I suppose from a creative standpoint, some characters deserve to die. Ones that lack common sense or even basic survival instinct.''
-->-- '''Abed''', ''Series/{{Community}}''

->''For young man, read young idiot. Look, anyone stupid enough to let some mustachio'd dago say, "Excuse me, meester" and then hit them over the head, deserves everything coming to them.''
-->-- '''Edmund Blackadder''', ''Series/{{Blackadder}}''

->''Poor Ned Stark. Brave man, ''[[HonorBeforeReason terrible]]'' judgement.''
-->--'''Jaime Lannister''' on the choices of his ArchEnemy on ''Series/GameOfThrones''

->''But... they have the preservation instinct of'' a herd of lemmings!
-->-- '''Hippolyte Kurtzmann''', ''Series/FlandersCompany'', "Bad Taste"

->''The fire was stupid. Putting Vila on guard duty was suicidal. What's the matter? Staying alive become too complicated for you?''
-->-- '''Avon''', ''Series/BlakesSeven''



->''You're dumb, the song, now die\\
You're dead, because, you're dumb\\
Oh wait, you're still, alive\\
You're still, no dumb, the less''
-->-- '''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXVXyZi-fN0 The Dumb Song]]''', ''Music/{{Psychostick}}''

->''I light my filter, then reverse it\\
And burn a mouth [[TheUnintelligible that's weak on verbs]]\\
And nouns and nouns\\
But I'm not sore\\
Everybody's stupid, that's for sure''
-->--"Everybody's Stupid", '''{{Music/Sparks}}'''

->''Why do lovers park down deserted lanes\\
Near haunted houses or homes for the insane\\
Like the deformed son who was locked in a shed\\
Later escaped when he chopped off their heads\\
Why do axe murderers only attack\\
When you're partially nude\\
Or you're taking a bath''
-->-- "Axe Murdered", ''Music/CamperVanBeethoven''



->Jar-Jar's like, 'Oh, come back to the city that has, like, [[WantedPoster a police warrant out for me for execution.]]' Uhh, Jar-Jar's not the smartest creature in the galaxy, is he?\\\
He brings Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan before Boss Nass, but he gets arrested and they say it's time to get executed. If it wasn't for Qui-Gon saying, 'This animal has a life debt with me, I should take him with me.' -- you know, if Qui-Gon just ''didn't'' do that -- they've would've executed Jar-Jar. So, really, Jar-Jar would probably be more motivated to '''not''' take them there... 'I can take you to the Naboo City, just follow me! Let's, uh, let's go ''this'' way; The way that's the ''farthest possible'' away from the Gungan City. Let's go that way.'\\\
I thought I had Jar-Jar figured out. I thought he was, like, [[DamnedByFaintPraise the tightest, best character in the film]]. But I guess not.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]''' riffs ''Film/ThePhantomMenace''


[[folder:Public Service Announcements]]

->This man was safe... ''until now''. He hasn't bothered to get the plug changed. From now on, he's in deadly danger. If the earth wire slips out, he won't notice, [[HighVoltageDeath but as soon as it touches the]] ''[[HighVoltageDeath live wire]]''...
-->-- The '''narrator''' of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zt50lz-NVQ a 70s electricity safety PIF featuring an idiot]] [[DoomItYourself using three matches as a makeshift plug for a drill]].


[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]

->Those kids in horror movies are so easy to kill, you could strangle them with a cordless phone y'know what I'm sayin? I mean, you see how they just run right into danger, these idiots, they run right into death. They're look'n for death.
-->-- '''Pablo Francisco''', [[http://comedians.jokes.com/pablo-francisco/videos/pablo-francisco---previews-voice this video]]

->All the victims in these films have had their common sense glands removed.
-->-- '''Creator/EddieIzzard''' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4yrL6rc6bU on]] Horror Movies

->Some animals are ''really'' stupid. Like the crab. What a- what a '''''moron!''''' He has [[PowerPincers two big scissors]] held out in front of him, and then he walks ''sideways'' like an idiot! That's why we eat their legs, we keep pulling them off from the side!
-->-- '''Jeremy Hotz'''


[[folder:Tabletop Game]]

->''"That's right, I'm the best shot in the platoon. I could shoot the pipe from an officer's mouth at 300 meters. Don't believe me?"''
-->-- '''[[TabletopGame/OnlyWar Guardsman Varrant]]''', six minutes before his execution


[[folder:Video Games]]


[[folder: Remember how I said he was specifically built to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain ''any'' of the crucial functions that keep this facility from exploding! ]]

-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]''', about [[spoiler: Wheatley]], ''Videogame/Portal2''

->Duuuh. You died because you were dumb.
-->-- [[HaveANiceDeath Death message]], ''VideoGame/SpaceQuest V''

->'''Robin Hood:''' (Hiding below monks) [[WithCatlikeTread Excuse me, could you lend me a hand? You see, I'm nearly safe,]] [[LampshadeHanging but I thought I'd do something truly foolish instead and get myself killed]].\\
'''Evil Monk:''' Brother, quickly, bring some rocks! There's an intruder below!
-->-- ''VideoGame/ConquestsOfTheLongbow''

->Geez, sorry you guys! There's no cure for stupidity!
-->-- '''Iori Yagami'''' victory quote, ''[[VideoGame/TheKingOfFighters The King Of Fighters '96]]''

->Anyone who fights us is either stupid or on [[BigBad Saren's]] payroll. Killing the latter is business. Killing the former is a favor to the universe.
-->-- '''Urdnot Wrex''', ''VideoGame/MassEffect1''

->'''Mach:''' Hang on, I'm getting a strange energy reading.\\
'''Ops:''' '''Do not touch the artifact! Direct orders from Dostya!'''\\
'''Mach:''' It'll just take a second.
-->-- ''VideoGame/SupremeCommander''

->"Do not play ''Pokémon GO'' while driving." \\
"Do not trespass while playing ''Pokémon GO''." \\
"Do not enter dangerous areas while playing ''Pokémon GO''."
-->-- '''Startup messages''' in ''VideoGame/PokemonGO''

->You dumb idiot.
-->-- '''Franklin Clinton''' after witnessing [[spoiler: Dom skydive from a dam with no parachute]] in ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoV''

->'''Pearl''': My strategy for this stage is: rush to the stage and look freshhhhhh...\\
'''Marina''': [[LampshadeHanging I need to find new teammates...]]
-->--''VideoGame/{{Splatoon 2}}'', Starfish Mainstage discussion



->'''Thief:''' Okay, Fighter, tie this rope to something sturdy so we can climb across\\
'''Fighter:''' [off-panel] Done!\\
'''Black Mage:''' Why is the rope on fire?\\
'''Fighter:''' I tied it to the lava! Y'know, so we could find it when we're done here.
-->-- ''[[Webcomic/EightBitTheater 8-Bit Theater]]''

->'''Zeke:''' The average human lifespan is seventy years.\\
'''Embla:''' I see.\\
'''Zeke:''' Heh. Except Ethan. If you run the data, his life expectancy comes out to ''negative'' forty years.
-->-- '''Webcomic/CtrlAltDel'''

->'''Ray:''' Why would I be nervous?\\
'''Lindesfarne:''' Because... I'm an insectivore.\\
'''Ray:''' What's an insectivore?\\
'''Lindesfarne:''' (whispers to Tammy) [[LampshadeHanging Not too big on self-preservation, is he]]?\\
'''Ray:''' What's self-preservation?
-->-- '''Lindesfarne''' (a hedgehog) and '''[[TheDitz Ray]]''' (a firefly) in ''WebComic/KevinAndKell''


[[folder:Web Original]]

->So, again, the lesson to be learned here is to not put your hand anywhere near a piece of machinery that’s got [[{{Fingore}} razor sharp blades on it]]. And yes, this is coming from a trick who once almost lost his good fappin’ hand while doing the YMCA dance under a living room ceiling fan.
-->-- '''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/05/31/lesson-of-the-day-dont-grab-a-flying-drone/ Michael K.]]''', "Lesson Of The Day: Don’t Grab A Flying Drone"

->Drive anywhere at about 8 p.m. at night, and there's always at least ONE dude on the highway who is holding out on putting the headlights on. He's [[SkewedPriorities really determined to stay incognito.]]
-->-- '''[[http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/tcu-got-screwed-and-thats-the-point-1668812802 Drew Magary]]'''

->This is the Russian bathtub heroin that eats your flesh. And it's a telling sign of our collective lunacy that officials can predict that a FLESH-EATING DRUG will spread across America even though we all know it eats flesh, and then that prediction comes to pass. Personally, I am terrified of all flesh-eating substances: acids, bacteria, lions, etc. I instinctively stay away from them. But that warning apparently wasn't enough to keep away our most desperate, meth-addled citizens. "Well, if it eats my flesh but people still do it, it must be '''''AMAZING.'''''" ''Side note: [[YouDoNotWantToKnow Do NOT look up images of people who have had their flesh eaten by Krokodil.]] [[{{Squick}} You will be unhappy.]]''
-->--'''''[[http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2013/10/make-it-stop-the-worst-of-the-week-of-101013.html GQ]]''''', ''Make It Stop''

->When Dwinell was tested, doctors did indeed find a burn in the center of his retinas. The finding apparently made Dwinell disheartened and discouraged, and he even apparently stopped sungazing for a while, but he eventually picked it up again because he is rather [[InsaneTrollLogic seriously insane.]]
-->-- ''[[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2013/07/641-mason-howe-dwinell.html Encyclopedia of American Loons]]'' on Mason Howe Dwinell

->'''[[Series/BarneyandFriends Barney the Dinosaur:]]''' Friends, be careful around household chemicals! Many--\\
'''Boy:''' HOUSEHOLD CHEMICALS?! What's that?\\
'''Barney:''' Why, that can mean anything from bleach to drain cleaner! Now--\\
'''Boy:''' DRAIN CLEANER?! What's that?\\
'''Barney:''' It's sort of [[ShapedLikeItself in the name, genius]]. The point is, a lot of these are poisonous, and--\\
'''Boy:''' POISONOUS?! What's that?\\
'''Barney:''' You know what, kid? Ice cream. ''Poisonous'' means ice cream.\\
'''Boy:''' YAY!!!
-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-great-occupations-for-horribly-stupid-people/ "7 Great Occupations For Horribly Stupid People"]]

->Harry is such a chump he somehow manages to fall into a small pool of mercury – if I were Tom I would have headed back to the ship and confirmed his death while I had the chance...his own suit is compromised to keep trying to save his idiotic friend. Let them both die, the show won't lose anything.
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/voyager-season-four.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Demon"

->'''Things I Learned From This Game''':\\
''Some people are just too fucking stupid to live.''
-->-- [[http://web.archive.org/web/20080212094700/http://atrocities.primaryerror.net/rahowasucks.html This review]] of ''Racial Holy War''.

->"Some behaviour does not merely show bad character. It displays a level of stupidity so alarming as to render the bad character secondary. It raises a serious question as to whether emergency personnel should be rushed to the scene to equip the subject with a ventilator in case he forgets to breathe."
-->-- WordOfGod on ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheNotFatalAtAllCulturalExchangeProgram''

->'''Lelouch:''' I need your help, can you come here?\\
'''Suzaku:''' Well, I can't. I'm buying clothes.\\
'''Lelouch:''' Alright, well hurry up and come over here.\\
'''Suzaku:''' I can't find them.\\
'''Lelouch:''' What do you mean, you can't find them?\\
'''Suzaku:''' I can't find them, there's only soup.\\
'''Lelouch:''' What do you mean there's "ONLY soup"?\\
'''Suzaku:''' It means there's ONLY SOUP!\\
'''Suzaku:''' ALRIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT AT ME! ''(Suzaku walks into the next aisle)'' There's more soup.\\
'''Lelouch:''' WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S "MORE SOUP"?!?!\\
'''Suzaku:''' IT'S JUST MORE SOUP!!\\
'''Lelouch:''' GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE!!\\
'''Suzaku:''' ''(Suzaku goes into the next aisle)'' THERE'S STILL SOUP!\\
'''Lelouch:''' WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!?!?\\
'''Suzaku:''' I'M AT SOUP!\\
'''Lelouch:''' WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE "AT SOUP"?!?!?!\\
'''Suzaku:''' I MEAN, I'M AT SOUP!!!\\
'''Lelouch:''' WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!?!?\\
'''Suzaku:''' I'M AT THE ''SOUP'' STORE!!!\\
'''Lelouch:''' '''WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!?'''\\
'''Suzaku:''' FUCK YOU!!!!!
-->-- ''WebVideo/CodeMent''

->You are fired from ''breathing''! Please, pack up your desk, and kindly leave '''life'''.
-->-- ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''

->Food $200 \\
Data $150 \\
Rent $800 \\
Candles $3,600 \\
Utility $150 \\
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
-->-- '''[[https://twitter.com/dril/status/384408932061417472 @dril]]'''

[[folder:Web Video]]

->"YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT HAVING SEX ''[[SkewedPriorities NOW]]''?!! Okay, you know what? You all need to die! Not because of [[KickTheDog what you did to Marty]], mind you, but because the law of natural selection ''demands it''!"
-->--'''[[WebVideo/BrandonsCultMovieReviews Brandon]]''' regarding the characters in ''Film/SlaughterHigh''.

-> A ''ZombieApocalypse''?! You think ''that'''s the way to leave the world's infrastructure and resources intact?! [[BigBad Isaac]]! You should [[BackFromTheDead have stayed dead]]! You were [[LampshadeHanging too dumb to live]]!
-->--'''WebVideo/{{Phelous}}''' aftering hearing Dr Isaac's motivation in ''Film/ResidentEvilTheFinalChapter''

->Okay guys it looks like you have everything you need so I'm gonna go to bed now! Alone! Naked! And with the door unlocked! Bye!
-->-- '''Misa Amane''', ''WebVideo/DeathNoteTheAbridgedSeriesKpts4tv''

->'''Link:''' Ah! Fire! My flame-proof suit isn't working!\\
'''Navi:''' That's not a fireproof suit, you just painted your regular suit red!\\
'''Link:''' But... isn't that how fireproof suits work? You know, by camouflaging me from the flames?\\
'''Navi:''' How you've managed to survive this long is a mystery to me.
-->-- ''[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ocarina of Time]]: TheAbridgedSeries'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywoScf2vYU0 Episode 12]]

-> '''Sonic:''' Cool, it's raining fire!\\
'''Players:''' Cool! Cool! I'm gonna die!
-->-- LetsPlay ''LetsPlay/SonicTheHedgehog2006'' by pokecapn, Medibot, Kung-Fu Jesus, [=IlluminatusVespucci=] and John Condit

->Front door, closet... front door, closet... closet.
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''Videogame/ANightmareOnElmStreetNES'' parody video.

->Vin has a terminal disease and a massive life insurance policy, that's all I can figure.
-->--'''{{Website/SFDebris}}''' on ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'', "Past Tense Pt. 2"

->So, they decide to play Blind Man's Bluff, where they turn out all the lights, drink a lot of beer, and roam around the house; a.k.a the easiest setup for a slasher film ever. The only way they could make this easier for the killer is if they killed'' themselves.''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob''', ''Film/TheMutilator'' (1985)

->"It's always funny at the beginning of the ''{{Franchise/Terminator}}'' films to see his [[{{Redshirt}} first victims]] underestimate him or misunderstand what he is."\\
"Yeah, Creator/BillPaxton and his boys are mouthin' off, so they basically are asking for it. Who's that comfortable around [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight a giant naked man]] in the first place?"
-->-- '''''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erfUFhvmVFw "Arnold Schwarzeneggar Kill Count"]]'''''

->It's Horror Stupidity Syndrome. And it seems to have become a rather prominent element in modern horror films in particular.
-->-- ''WebVideo/MediaWhorz'' review of ''[[Film/TheThing2011 The Thing]]'' (2011)

->When your life has been directly threatened by your boss and there's already been one unsolved murder in your office building, always work late ''and'' alone!
-->-- '''Noah "[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment The Spoony One"]] Antwiler,''' ''Let's Play VideoGame/{{Phantasmagoria 2}}''

->'''Adam:''' Okay, I already died.\\
'''James:''' What happened?\\
'''Adam:''' I punched a dinosaur.
-->-- '''[[Creator/RoosterTeeth Funhaus]]''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zop2Rtd0eTY&ab_channel=Funhaus WE THROW POOP - ARK: Survival Evolved Gameplay]]

->Now, this [protagonist] has to be so hot and ''so dumb''. Like, they can't be normal dumb, they have to be ''ridiculously'' dumb. And they can't notice any clues. If they see something, they just have to ignore it like it wasn't there.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/{{Miniminter}} Simon Minter]]''' in his DeconstructiveParody [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxOI7LBywDs tutorial on making horror films]]

->Why would a witch whose only weakness is water have a bucket of water just lying around in her castle for any reason?
-->-- '''Jeremy Scott''', the narrator of ''WebVideo/CinemaSins'', ''Everything Wrong With Film/TheWizardOfOz''

->Set fire to your hair, \\
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear, \\
Eat medicine that's out of date, \\
Use your private parts as piranha bait,\\
Dumb ways to die!\\
So many dumb ways to die, \\
Dumb ways to di-i-ie, \\
So many dumb ways to die!
-->-- '''WebAnimation/DumbWaysToDie'''

->I tried, you know. Lord knows I tried. But there's just no helping you people. It's like you crave death. But not just any death, nooooooo! You fuckers seem to have some kind of pool going to see who can end their existence in the dumbest, most avoidable way possible. And you just keep one-upping each other! Do you know how many of you have died screaming LeeroyJenkins? More than zero! Which, as far as I'm concerned, is grounds for exterminating the species!
-->-- '''Kayaba''', ''WebVideo/SwordArtOnlineAbridged''

[[folder:Western Animation]]

-> '''WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck:''' He does ''so'' have to shoot me now! I ''demand'' that you shoot me now!
->''later on...''
-> '''WesternAnimation/BugsBunny:''' [[BrickJoke Wouldja like ta shoot 'im here, or wait 'til ya get home?]]
->'''Daffy:''' Oh no ya don't! Not this time! ''(to Elmer)'' Wait 'til ya get ''home.''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/RabbitSeasoning''

->'''Meatwad:''' ([[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext holding a scorpion]]): I'll eat it... if you eat it.\\
'''Shake:''' All right, deal! Wait a minute... how are you gonna eat it after I eat it?\\
'''Meatwad:''' Look, you eat it, then I go back in time to before the time that you eat it, then I'll eat it. [[note]]They actually do have a time machine in this episode, but it's pretty clear Meatwad's lying.[[/note]]\\
'''Shake:''' Okay.\\
'''Frylock:''' What's wrong with Shake?\\
'''Meatwad:''' Oh, he's dead. Dumbass ate a scorpion.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce''

->'''Brian Griffin:''' Who the hell buys a novelty fire extinguisher?\\
'''Peter Griffin:''' Someone who cares enough about physical comedy to [[InferredHolocaust put his whole family at serious risk]].
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->'''Freakazoid:''' Dumb, dumb, '''dumb!''' Never tell the villain how to trap you in a cage!\\
'''Gutierrez:''' You probably shouldn't have helped us build it, either.\\
'''Freakazoid:''' I know! '''''Dumb!'''''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}''

->'''Fry:''' Wait. I know where we can get beeswax. From those giant space bees that nearly killed us, and we swore we'd never go back there.\\
'''Farnsworth:''' Let's go back there!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->Cartman, you are hereby declared a full-fledged retard.
-->-- '''Kyle Brofloski''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''

-> I wish to blow up! I mean get big. ''(explodes)''
-->-- '''Hot Dog Knight''', WesternAnimation/AdventureTime

[[folder:Real Life]]

->Nature abhors a moron.
-->-- '''Creator/HLMencken''', 1949

->I had this lady interviewer following me around. More of that [[GoingForTheBigScoop in-depth crap.]] She was convinced that life with Altman was a never-ending round of [[HookersAndBlow orgies and excess.]] She was even snooping around in my hotel bathroom, for Christ's sake, and she found this jar of funny white powder in the medicine cabinet. Aha! she thinks. Cocaine! So she snorts some. Unfortunately, what she didn't know was that I'm allergic to commercial toothpaste because the dentine in it makes me break out in a rash. So my wife [[MistakenForJunkie mixes up baking soda and salt]] for me, and -- poor girl.
-->--'''Creator/RobertAltman''', as interviewed by Creator/RogerEbert