-> I'm like King Midas in reverse here. Everything I touch turns to shit.
-->-- Tony Soprano

-> It's an idea, I don't know. Who knows where it fucking came from? Isaac Newton invented gravity because some asshole hit him with an apple.
-->-- Christopher Moltisanti

-> [[CallBack Oh,]] [[SarcasmMode poor you!]]
-->-- Various

-> The fundamental question is, will I be as effective as a boss like my dad was? And I will be, even more so? But until I am, it's going to be hard to verify that I think I'll be more effective.
-->-- Little Carmine Lupertazzi

-> What do I find in a pork store? [[ADateWithRosiePalms A bunch of guys beating their meat]].
-->-- Tony Blundetto

-> '''Paulie''': Hey, Sil. You remember your first blowjob?
-> '''Silvio''': Yeah.
-> '''Paulie''': How long did it take for the guy to cum?

-> '''Tony Soprano''': Maybe I should tap into my roots, too. My grandmother was half Indian.
-> '''Christopher''': Get the fuck out of here.
-> '''Tony Soprano''': No, it's true. She was in the Fakawee tribe.
-> '''Christopher''': Oh yeah?
-> '''Tony Soprano''': Yeah. When they used to get lost in the woods, they stopped and said "Where the Fakawee?"

-> '''Tony Soprano''': You're looking good. Looking better.
-> '''Uncle Junior''': Tony, if you're gonna lie to me, tell me there's a broad in the car waiting to tongue my balls.

-> There's an old Italian saying: you fuck up once, you lose two teeth.
-->-- Tony Soprano

-> '''Carmela''': ... I just never pictured Meadow with someone like him.
-> '''Tony Soprano''': Someone like him? He's one of us! Don't tell me you were happy when she was going out with that Jamal Ginsberg, the Hasidic Homeboy?

-> '''Anthony Infante''': Listen, as far as that thing goes ... the coffee with the chickery ...
-> '''Johnny Sack''': The fuck is that?
-> '''Anthony Infante''': Shit. I suck at talking like this John, I'm sorry. Our friend with the stomach.
-> '''Johnny Sack''': In town? Or near home?
-> '''Anthony Infante''': Your neighbour. "A-S".
-> '''Johnny Sack''': Alright, just say the thing I asked you to do. The coffee with the fucking chickery. He gonna get it for me?
-> '''Anthony Infante''': Yes. Bad news is that he wants ten cups for himself, not seven.
-> '''Johnny Sack''': Alright, done. Did you pick up the birthday cake for Gin with the marzipan flowers?
-> '''Anthony Infante''': The stuff by the pool?
-> '''Johnny Sack''': No, an actual fucking cake! It's her birthday.