->''"Yes, all the charm of a simple little cartoon will melt before your eyes as it is replaced by newer and more standardized animation!"''
-->-- '''Announcer''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', "Free Hat"

->''"We're reviving a cancelled undercover police program from TheEighties and revamping it for modern times. You see, the guys in charge of this stuff lack creativity and are completely out of ideas, so all they do now [[WhoWouldWantToWatchUs is recycle shit from the past and expect us all not to notice]]."''
-->--'''Deputy Chief Hardy''', ''Film/TwentyOneJumpStreet''

->''"Gus Van Sant's "shot-for-shot" remake is the addition of a masturbation scene. That's appropriate, since this new ''{{Film/Psycho}}'' [[JustLikeMakingLove evokes memories in an attempt to re-create remembered passion.]]"''
-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert'''

->''And now, an inside look at how Hollywood works:''\\
"Say, Chet, who should we get for the Gary Cooper role in our remake of ''[[Film/MrDeedsGoesToTown Mr. Deeds Goes to Town]]?''"\\
"Well, Brad, how about that guy who played [[TheWaterboy Canteen Boy?]]"\\
-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15095_the-most-underrated-overrated-adam-sandler-movies.html "The Most Underrated & Overrated Adam Sandler Movies"]]

->''"In life, there are few things one can predict with accuracy, even after years of training. Just ask a financial analyst who works for 80 hours a week studying the intricacies of stock price movement only to finally manage a fund that consistently underperforms the market. Just ask a couple divorcing after 30 years of marriage. Just ask a NCAA tournament Cinderella team that makes it to the Final Four against all odds. But there is one thing, in this world of uncertainty, that can be predicted with a high degree of accuracy: a Creator/MichaelBay-produced remake of an Creator/AlfredHitchcock movie is going to gargle goat balls."''
-->--'''''Jezebel''''', [[http://jezebel.com/michael-bays-remake-of-the-birds-is-going-to-suck-ass-1543252604 "Michael Bays remake of The Birds is Going to Suck Ass"]]

->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Mr. Burns]]:''' Smithers, what made a lot of money in Hollywood recently?\\
'''Smithers:''' Um, adaptations of ancient-but-recognizable pop culture properties and movies where JohnnyDepp [[NeverBareheaded wears a stupid hat]], sir!\\
'''Mr. Burns:''' Eeeeexcellent. Well, I own ''The Lone Ranger'', so let's have Johnny [[TypeCasting put on a stupid hat]] and play Tonto.\\
'''Smithers:''' Ah, what else should we put in the movie, sir?\\
'''Mr. Burns:''' Oh, you know the drill, Smithers. Make it an origin story so we can call it a "[[ContinuityReboot reimagining]]", toss in some [[TheManBehindTheMan unnecessarily convoluted]] claptrap mystery so it looks smarter than it is, take a lot of [[WhoWouldWantToWatchUs snarky pot-shots]] at the original so [[WereStillRelevantDammit the audience can feel hip]], and make everything so [[DarkerAndEdgier oppressively crowded and grim]] that nobody can tell if they're [[DarknessInducedAudienceApathy numb or just bored]].
-->-- Creative genesis of ''Film/TheLoneRanger'' [-(according to '''{{Moviebob}}''')-]

->''"I often bemoan the fact that the directors I love the most do not get the money they deserve for movies. Hell, even [[Creator/StevenSpielberg Spielberg]] has trouble getting money for his project and many would say he is the greatest filmmaker of this generation. Yet he is currently having trouble for his ''{{Film/Lincoln}}'' film. Well, where is all this money going? Apparently it is all going into ''{{Film/Thunderbirds}}''. Seriously who was the idiotic producer who wanted to hand out $60 million dollars on a live action version on a British marionette show from the 60′s? Maybe the same people who thought there was still an audience for ''Film/TheAvengers'' and ''The Film/WildWildWest.''"''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/01/27/thunderbirds-2004-jonathan-frakes/ on]] ''Thunderbirds''

->''"I would like to see a remake of ''Film/{{Beaches}}'' with Bette Midler. Only this time, Barbara Hershey should be played by Creator/AnneHathaway. But Anne Hathaway will have ''[[SequelEscalation much more]]'' cancer. And it'll be CGI cancer. And then when they're on the beach and the sun is setting, and she's about to die, she '''[[DefeatEqualsExplosion explodes]]'''. And Bette Milder won't do the theme song, no. No "Wing Beneath My Wings" crap for this movie. The theme song will be done by Music/{{Kesha}}... and it'll be called "Sorry U Can't Go Out To Da Club Because U Got Cancer."''
-->-- '''[[RedLetterMedia Mike Stoklasa]]''', ''Half in the Bag''

->''Remember how ''Film/StarTrekNemesis'' tried to remake ''[[Film/StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan Wrath of Khan]]'', and they totally missed the point of the Kirk/Khan dynamic by giving us a Khan-surrogate with no personal history with Picard? Incredibly, ''[[Film/StarTrekIntoDarkness Into Darkness]]'' has made the exact same mistake with the actual Khan character, by bringing him in long before he has a reason to hate Kirk. What Iím getting here is that everyone in charge of this franchise for the last 10 or 20 years has been fully aware that ''Wrath of Khan'' is the most beloved ''Star Trek'' movie, but none of them have ever figured out why.''
-->-- '''''Website/TheAgonyBooth'''''

->''"There are probably as many reasons to remake a movie as there are filmmakers producing remakes, but it seems to me that there are four motives that have steadily recurred throughout the years... Sometimes a movie gets remade because the original was an adaptation of a novel or short story to which it simply did not do justice, and some director or other wants to try their hand at a more faithful treatment. The classic example of this strain would have to be Creator/JohnCarpenterís ''[[Film/TheThing1982 The Thing]]''. Then youíve got your remakes that stem from somebody coming up with an inspired new story to tell using the setup from an earlier movie; Creator/DavidCronenbergís version of ''Film/TheFly'' springs immediately to mind as a case in point. Then there are movies like the [[HammerHorror Hammer Film Productions]] take on ''Film/TheMummy1959'', which looks like a case of subsequent filmmakers going back to make up for their predecessorsí mishandling of a good idea. Again, in each of those three categories, Iíve seen more good remakes than bad. Unfortunately, itís the fourth major current of remakes that commands the most attention, and with good reason--itís broader than any of the other three, and [[SoBadItsHorrible the stench kicked up by most of the movies within it is just too strong to ignore]]. Iím talking about remakes that owe their existence to little or nothing more than the advance of special effects technology, and thereís no shortage of noteworthy examples."''
-->-- '''Scott "El Santo" Ashlin''', [[http://www.1000misspenthours.com/reviews/reviewsa-d/blob1988.htm 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting]]