-> Danson: "Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof?!"
-> Highsmith: "I think we can chalk it up to bad life choices!"

-> "Danson and Highsmith shoot drive, and ''sex'' with style - they were rockstars. Then you got the day-by-day workers, the ball busters, the vets - [[TitleDrop The Other Guys.]]"

-> Hoitz: "I'm a Peacock, you gotta let me fly!"

-> Mauch: "This paperwork is like Bob's wife; it's thick and ugly and it's got Danson's fingerprints all over it."

-> Hoitz: "When you hear hooves, you expect horses, not zebras!"
-> Gamble: "What about donkeys? And deer...? What about bovine animals?"

-> [repeated line]
-> "You do one thing when you come in tomorrow: bring it."

-> Mr. Christinath: "You probably think that with my beard, I'm probably ''really'' hairy all over... nope. Completely shaved."
-> [{{Beat}}]
-> Hoitz: "...[[CheckPlease Allen?]]"

-> Gamble: "One day I am gonna climb over that anger wall of yours; and it is going to be ''glorious.''"

->Gamble: "How do they walk away from buildings in movies without flinching when it explodes behind them?! I call bullshit on that!! [...] I need an MRI! There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage! I just wanna curl up someplace and breastfeed right now...!"

-> (after Hoitz takes on a group of motorcycle hitmen singlehandedly)
-> Gamble: "Can you imagine where you'd be if you ''hadn't'' shot Jeter?"

->Gamble: "Whose baby is that? Who did that to you?! Gator's bitches better be using jimmies!!"

-> Mauch: (to the Bed Bath & Beyond staff) "First things first: the new bath mats are here. Second thing: [[BreadEggsMilkSquick there's a serial rapist in Crown Heights...]] sorry, that's from my other job, ignore that. No, wait, don't ignore it, especially if you live in Crown Heights. Walk in pairs."

-> Mauch: "You two know that Danson and Highsmith weren't good cops, right?"
-> Hoitz: "Yeah, I guess we always knew that, it's a drag, but then at some point, who's left to be the hero?"
-> Mauch: "Not to sound corny but... maybe it's you guys."

-> Ershon: "I have a small apartment, nobody knows about it; I use it mainly for my parents, and prostitutes; [[AmbiguousSyntax not at the same time, that would be wrong...]]"

-> Hoitz: "Let's hear it from the top, every detail."
-> Ershon: "I find that the best way to tell a story is from the ''end'', then work our way towards the beginning, periodically working in different characters' perspectives, to give it a little dimension so it's not such a linear..."
-> Gamble: "JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!!"

-> Ershon: "Computers! What if one day ''they'' were in charge?"

-> "Let's be honest, we all wanna be superstars... but at the end of the day, the real heroes, the ones who make it happen, are the day-in-day-outers, the mutt-grinders - c'mon, you know who I'm talking about. [[BookEnds The Other Guys.]]"