->''If the police expect to play against the Joker, they'd better be prepared to be dealt from the bottom of the deck!''
-->-- '''Me!''', in my very first appearance ever!

->''Why so serious?''
-->-- '''Me!''', ''Film/TheDarkKnight''

->''You're not contractually tied to reality. There is no Sanity Clause!''
-->-- '''Me!''', To Commisioner Gordon in ''TheKillingJoke''

->''Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. [[ForTheEvulz Some men just want to watch the world burn]].''
-->-- '''Alfred Pennyworth''', ''Film/TheDarkKnight''. Oh Alfie, you flatter me!

->''How about a magic trick? I'm going to [[EyeScream make this pencil disappear]].''
-->-- '''Me again''', ''Film/TheDarkKnight''. Knocked' em dead with that one!

->''There's two things [[LexLuthor he]] forgot to tell you about me... I don't '''care''' what happens to the world! And I '''DON'T''' play well with others...''
-->-- '''Moi''', setting that killjoy Deathstroke straight, ''VideoGame/MortalKombatVsDCUniverse''

->''All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.''
-->-- '''Guess who?''', ''TheKillingJoke''. I just wanted old Jim to see the joke!

->''"It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic. ''[{{Beat}}]'' Oh, what the heck, I'll laugh anyway! [[EvilLaugh HAHAHAHAHAHA]]!"''
-->-- '''Me again (who'd'a thunk?)''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker''

->''"Yet we're linked, you and I. Like {{comedy}} and {{tragedy}}. Two sides, same coin."''
-->-- '''Me!''' to good old Batsie, ''WesternAnimation/TheBatman'', "The Bat In The Belfry".

->''"The guy is so [[AxCrazy demented]] and [[CardCarryingVillain evil]], but so '''[[BlackComedy funny]]''' at the same time, it actually makes you [[RuleOfFunny laugh along with him]] and [[GuiltyPleasures feel guilty about it afterward]]. How can you '''not''' laugh at a guy with [[PerpetualSmiler a permanent smile?]]"''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd James Rolfe]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-pZl0K-Dqo Batman Movie Reviews Part 2]]'''. Nailed me right on the head!

->''"You know what's great about you puddin'? You really put the "fun" in "funeral!"''
-->-- '''My Dear Little Harley''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "The Man Who Killed Batman"

->''"That's the downside of comedy. You're always taking shots from people who just don't get the joke!"''
-->-- '''Me!''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "Mad Love"

->'''Bat-Fake:''' What can you tell me about clowns, Commissioner?
->'''Dear Old Barb:''' In this town, they're never funny.
-->-- '''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker'''. Honestly, Fake-Man would ''suit'' him a lot more, but a [[MegaMan goody-two-shoe doctor]] has a patent on that. [[JokerImmunity We'll see who'll laugh last, Doctor Blight!]]

->''"If you weren't hiding in the shadows like a little girl this would be over so much faster."''
-->-- '''Me!''' seeking due sportsmanship in ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamAsylum''

->''"Uh-uh-uh, don't touch that remote! I know it's heartbreaking to have your favorite shows pre-empted. But look what you're getting instead: me! And a whole truckload of mindless violence and wanton property damage! Everything that makes TV great! So stay tuned, you won't believe your eyes..."''
-->-- '''Me!''', ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague''

-> ''"'Winged... Freak... Terrorizes?' Wait 'til they get a load of me."''
-->--'''Me!''', ''Film/{{Batman}}''

->''"Batman? Batman?! Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a '''''bat''''' gets all of '''''my''''' press?! This town needs an enema!"''
-->-- '''Me again!''', ''Film/{{Batman}}''

->''"Your friends . . . they're not such bad people. What do you say we give them a few days to think it over? (beat) No? (beat) Grease 'em now? Well . . . okay. You are a vicious bastard, Rotelli . . . I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD!"''
-->-- ''' Me yet again!''', ''Film/{{Batman}}''

->''" New and improved Joker products with the new secret ingridient . . . Smilex! Uh oh . . . he don't look too happy . . . he's been usin' Brand X! But with new Joker Brand, I get a grin . . . Again and again! That lucious tan . . . those ruby lips . . . and hair color so natural, only your undertaker will know for sure. I know what you're thinking, where can I find those fine new items? Now that's the gag, folks. Chances are, you bought 'em already! So remember, put on a happy face!"''
-->--'''Do I know how to make a commercial or what?''' ''Film/{{Batman}}''

->'''Me:''' Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?\\
'''Brucey:''' ...what?\\
'''Me:''' I always ask that of ''all'' my prey. I just like the sound of it.
-->--'''Me once more!''', ''Film/{{Batman}}''. Ooh, [[JackNicholson Jack!]] You know me like a book, that ''does'' sound like fun! But what's with that whole "[[AccidentalInnuendo never rub another man's rhubarb]]" thing, [[HoYay hmmm?]]

->'''TheJoker:''' ''You! [[ThisLoserIsYou Miserable little nobody!]] [[AndYourLittleDogToo If I get caught, your wife and son are history!]]''
->'''[[CorneredRattlesnake Charlie Collins:]]''' ''You're not getting caught, not this time. [[SomebodySetUpUsTheBomb I found this bomb at the van]]. [[PreMortemOneLiner This is how it ends, Joker]]. [[FinalBattle No big schemes, no great fight to the finish with the]] [[ArchEnemy Dark Knight]]. Tomorrow, all that the papers will say, is that [[{{Anticlimax}} the Great Joker was blown to pieces in an alley]], [[DeusExMachina alongside a]] [[IronicEcho miserable little nobody]]. Ha. [[LampshadeHanging Kind of funny, ironic, really]]. See! [[NotSoHarmlessVillain I can destroy your dreams too!]] [[TheOnlyOneAllowedToDefeatYou And that’s really the only dream you have, isn’t it?]]''
->'''TheJoker:''' ''Look Charlie, you've had a busy day...all this running around...all this excitement with-[[DistressCall BAAAAAAAAAATMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!]] Stop! [[YoureInsane You’re crazy!]]''
->'''Charlie Collins:''' ''[[HeWhoFightsMonsters I had a good teacher]]… [[SanitySlippage ha ha ha…]] [[PreMortemOneLiner Say goodnight, Gracie!]]''
->'''TheJoker:''' ''No!! [[SayMyName Batmaaan, Batmaaaaan]]!!.'' {{Beat}}. ''[[HowMuchDidYouHear How long have you been there?]]''
->'''Batman:''' ''Long enough.''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "Joker's Favor" Gotta hand it to ya, Chaz, in retrospective, it ''was'' quite funny. Not that I'll ever admit it in yer face. [-I can't believe it! I work, plan, rehearse every day to be the greatest comedian Ghotham has even seen, and suddenly this guy just comes here with BeginnersLuck and steals my act-] [--TheBatman even laughed! TheComicallySerious Batman laughed with his joke!--] [---He never laughs at my jokes...---] [---- Well, except [[TheKillingJoke that time]]...----]

->I'm just trying to show you,
->Just how well I know you,
->I understand just how you feel,
->Threw your reason away,
->'Cause you had one bad day,
->And your mind let go of the wheel,
-->-- '''Moi, Again!''' [[http://miracleofsound.bandcamp.com/track/jokers-song In a rare musical performance!]]

->''[[WhatWereYouThinking What were you trying to prove?]] [[NotSoDifferent That deep down, everyone's as ugly as you?!]] You're alone''.
-->-- '''Batman''', [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Ouch!]] ''Film/TheDarkKnight''

->'''Carnage''': I thought you had the stomach for death, Joker. I guess I was wrong.
->'''Me''': It's not a question of stomach, my friend, it's a question of ''style''! Any idiot...nothing personal, of course... can go out and slaughter a few thousand people, but were's the laughter and tears? The handstands and histrionics? In short, my dense and sanguine pal, [[EvilIsHammy where's the]] ''[[EvilIsHammy theater]]''? I always thought of myself as the OrsonWelles of crime and chaos, while you, apparantly, aspire to be nothing more than...David Hasselhoff! Alas, dear Carnage, I thought we had the makings of a classic team--but--hard as it is to believe, I was wrong!
-->--'''Yours truly again''', spelling it out for Carnage, in the first {{Batman}}/SpiderMan crossover. What is this new generation coming to, I ask you?

->'''Bat-Fake:''' It's funny. I know about all your other major enemies, but you never mentioned him. He was the worst, wasn't he?
->'''Bruce:''' It wasn't a popularity contest. He was a psychopath. A monster.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker''. Damn straight, Brucey!

-->[-If, for whatever little ol' reason, you'd prefer speaking to me in glorious person, [[SelfDemonstrating/TheJoker click here.]] ([[SnarkBait Hurry!]] [[IfYouCallBeforeMidnightTonight This deal won't]] ''[[RidiculouslyLoudCommercial LAST!]]'')-]
----