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->''If the police expect to play against the Joker, they'd better be prepared to be dealt from the bottom of the deck!''
-->-- '''Me!''', in my very first appearance ever!

->''Why so serious?''
-->-- '''Me!''', ''Film/TheDarkKnight''

->''You're not contractually tied to reality. There is no Sanity Clause!''
-->-- '''Me!''', to Commisioner Gordon in ''ComicBook/TheKillingJoke''

->''Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. [[ForTheEvulz Some men just want to watch the world burn.]]''
-->-- '''Alfred Pennyworth''', ''Film/TheDarkKnight''. Oh Alfie, you flatter me!

->''How about a magic trick? I'm going to [[EyeScream make this pencil disappear]].''
-->-- '''Me again''', ''Film/TheDarkKnight''. Knocked' em dead with that one!

->''There's two things [[SelfDemonstrating/LexLuthor he]] forgot to tell [[{{ComicBook/Deathstroke}} you]] about me... I don't give a damn '''what''' happens to the world... and I '''DON'T''' play well with others...''
-->-- '''Moi''', setting that killjoy Deathstroke straight, ''VideoGame/MortalKombatVsDCUniverse''

->''All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.''
-->-- '''Guess who?''', ''ComicBook/TheKillingJoke''. I just wanted old Jim to see the joke!

->''"It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic. ''[{{Beat}}]'' Oh, what the heck, I'll laugh anyway! [[EvilLaugh HAHAHAHAHAHA]]!"''
-->-- '''Me again (who'd'a thunk?)''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker''

->''"Yet we're linked, you and I. Like {{comedy}} and {{tragedy}}. Two sides, same coin."''
-->-- '''Me!''' to good old Batsie, ''WesternAnimation/TheBatman'', "The Bat In The Belfry".

->''"Jingle Bells. Batman Smells. Robin Lay An Egg. The Batmobile Lost Its Wheel and the JOOOKEERRR GOT A-WAY!!!"''
-->-- '''*yawn*(Do I need to say it?)''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "Christmas with the Joker". My first debut and oh how I love Christmas and you know what folks....I DID ESCAPE using a Rocket Christmas Tree!!! See below on the 'additional lyrics'.

->''"Crashing through the roof, in a one-horse open tree, busting out I go, laughing all the wheeeeeee! Ha ha ha ha!"''
-->-- '''ME!!!''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "Christmas with the Joker". If it wasn't for me, Creator/{{Mark|Hamill}}y wouldn't be famous. Remind me to send him a 'special gift' for him...Mwahahahahahaha!

->''"Batman, you wouldn't let me fry, would you?"'' (Batman thinks for a moment and wants to consider it) ''"BATMAN!!!!"''
-->-- '''Yes...yes! Youknowwhoitis...*mumbles*''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "The Last Laugh". I can't believe I have to say that line. Sure I make Batsy laugh but not the way I wanted...

->''"The guy is so [[AxCrazy demented]] and [[CardCarryingVillain evil]], but so '''[[BlackComedy funny]]''' at the same time, it actually makes you [[RuleOfFunny laugh along with him]] and [[GuiltyPleasures feel guilty about it afterward]]. How can you '''not''' laugh at a guy with [[PerpetualSmiler a permanent smile?]]"''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd James Rolfe]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-pZl0K-Dqo Batman Movie Reviews Part 2]]'''. Nailed me right on the head!

->''"You know what's great about you, puddin'? You really put the "fun" in "funeral!"''
-->-- '''My Dear Little Harley''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "The Man Who Killed Batman"

->''"That's the downside of comedy. You're always taking shots from people who just don't get the joke!"''
-->-- '''Me!''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "Mad Love"

->'''Bat-Fake:''' What can you tell me about clowns, Commissioner?
->'''Dear Old Barb:''' In this town, they're never funny.
-->-- '''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker'''. Honestly, Fake-Man would ''suit'' him a lot more, but a [[VideoGame/MegaMan goody-two-shoes doctor]] has a patent on that. [[JokerImmunity We'll see who'll laugh last, Doctor Blight!]]

->''"You know, kids, a lot has changed while your old Uncle Joker's been away. New Gotham, new rules, even a new Batman. But now I'm tanned, I'm rested and I'm ready to give this old town a wedgie again!"''
-->-- '''The New Me!''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker''

->'''Bat-Jerk:''' You're going to Arkham.\\
'''Me:''' In a coffin or not at all? ''[EvilLaugh]'' Oh well. Kill and the world dies with you; die and you laugh alone.
-->-- '''VideoGame/BatmanVengeance'''. Honestly, my spoof on the old saying, "Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone," is my part of an attempt to subvert my JokerImmunity, standing between getting sent either to Arkham Asylum or six feet under; but, you know, [[HaveANiceDeath "Death is no substitute for justice!"]] HAHAHAHAHAHA!

->''"If you weren't hiding in the shadows like a little girl, this would be over so much faster."''
-->-- '''Me!''' seeking due sportsmanship in ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamAsylum''

->''"Where, oh where has my little Bat gone? Oh where, oh where can he be? His cowl, his scowl, his temper so foul. I do hope he's coming for me." [EvilLaugh]''
-->--'''Me again''', doing a spoof of "Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?", ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamOrigins''

->'''Me:''' If you actually let me finish a sentence, you might learn something! You might learn we're NotSoDifferent. You might even learn something about yourself.\\
'''Bat-Brain:''' [[ShutUpHannibal You need to learn to shut up!]]
-->-- '''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamOrigins'''. [[spoiler:And just when I was very close to blowing the Bat's brains out, right before he knocked the gun out of my hand. Oh well...]]

->''"Uh-uh-uh, don't touch that remote! I know it's heartbreaking to have your favorite shows pre-empted. But look what you're getting instead: me! And a whole truckload of mindless violence and wanton property damage! Everything that makes TV great! So stay tuned, you won't believe your eyes..."''
-->-- '''Me!''', ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague''

-> ''"'Winged... Freak... Terrorizes?' Wait 'til they get a load of me."''
-->--'''Me!''', ''Film/{{Batman}}''

->''"Batman? Batman?! Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a '''bat''' gets all of '''my''' press?! This town needs an enema!"''
-->-- '''Me again!''', ''Film/{{Batman}}''

->''"Your friends... they're not such bad people. What do you say we give them a few days to think it over? (beat) No? (beat) Grease 'em now? Well... okay. You are a vicious bastard, Rotelli... I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD!"''
-->-- ''' Me yet again!''', ''Film/{{Batman}}''

->''"New and improved Joker products with the new secret ingredient... Smilex! Uh-oh... he don't look too happy... he's been usin' Brand X! But with new Joker Brand, I get a grin... Again and again! That luscious tan... those ruby lips... and hair color so natural, only your undertaker will know for sure. I know what you're thinking, where can I find those fine new items? Now that's the gag, folks. Chances are, you bought 'em already! So remember, put on a happy face!"''
-->-- '''Do I know how to make a commercial or what?''' ''Film/{{Batman}}''

-> ''"{{Where does|HeGetAllThoseWonderfulToys}} [[Franchise/{{Batman}} he]] [[TropeNamer get all those wonderful toys?]]"''
-->-- '''Yours Truly''', ''Film/{{Batman}}''

-> ''"Now comes the time where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But as my plastic surgeon always used to say: If you've gotta go, GO WITH A SMILE!"''
-->--'''Me,''' capping a certain parade. ''Film/{{Batman}}''

->'''Me:''' Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?\\
'''Brucey:''' ...what?\\
'''Me:''' I always ask that of ''all'' my prey. I just like the sound of it.
-->--'''Me once more!''', ''Film/{{Batman}}''. Ooh, [[Creator/JackNicholson Jack!]] You know me like a book, that ''does'' sound like fun! But what's with that whole "[[AccidentalInnuendo never rub another man's rhubarb]]" thing, [[HoYay hmmm?]]

->'''Me:''' ...and that's the idea. Be sure you follow my instructions to the split-second!\\
'''{{Mook|s}}:''' But, boss, you ain't gonna [[HeelFaceTurn really reform]], are you?\\
'''Me:''' ''[smoking up a skull from my cigarette]'' Of course not! My business will go on as usual...the important thing is that I'll be free! [[JokerImmunity The Joker shall die so that he may live again!]]
-->--'''Yours truly''', discussing [[ThePlan my master plan]] in putting my JokerImmunity to the test, ''Detective Comics Issue #64'': [[http://cacb.wordpress.com/2008/11/22/the-joker-walks-the-last-mile/ "The Joker Walks the Last Mile"]]

->'''Me:''' ''You! [[ThisLoserIsYou Miserable little nobody!]] [[AndYourLittleDogToo If I get caught, your wife and son are history!]]''
->'''[[CorneredRattlesnake Charlie Collins:]]''' ''You're not getting caught, not this time. [[SomebodySetUpUsTheBomb I found this bomb at the van.]] [[PreMortemOneLiner This is how it ends, Joker.]] [[FinalBattle No big schemes, no great fight to the finish with the]] [[ArchEnemy Dark Knight.]] Tomorrow, all that the papers will say, is that [[StuffBlowingUp the Great Joker was blown to pieces in an alley]], [[DeusExMachina alongside a]] [[IronicEcho miserable little nobody]]. Ha. [[LampshadeHanging Kind of funny, ironic, really.]] See! [[NotSoHarmlessVillain I can destroy your dreams too!]] [[TheOnlyOneAllowedToDefeatYou And that’s really the only dream you have, isn’t it?]]''
->'''Me:''' ''Look, Charlie, you've had a busy day...all this running around...all this excitement with-[[DistressCall BAAAAAAAAAATMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!]] Stop! [[YoureInsane You’re crazy!]]''
->'''Charlie Collins:''' ''[[HeWhoFightsMonsters I had a good teacher…]] [[SanitySlippage ha ha ha…]] [[PreMortemOneLiner Say goodnight, Gracie!]]''
->'''Me:''' ''No!! [[SayMyName Batmaaan, Batmaaaaan]]!!'' [{{Beat}}] ''[[HowMuchDidYouHear How long have you been there?]]''
->'''Batman:''' ''Long enough.''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "Joker's Favor" Gotta hand it to ya, Chaz, in retrospective, it ''was'' quite funny. Not that I'll ever admit it in yer face. [-I can't believe it! I work, plan, rehearse every day to be the greatest comedian Gotham has even seen, and suddenly this guy just comes here with BeginnersLuck and steals my act-] [--Batman even laughed!--] [---He never laughs at my jokes...---] [---- Well, except [[ComicBook/TheKillingJoke that time]]...----]

->I'm just trying to show you
->Just how well I know you.
->I understand just how you feel.
->Threw your reason away
->'Cause you had one bad day
->And your mind let go of the wheel.
-->-- '''Moi, Again!''' [[http://miracleofsound.bandcamp.com/track/jokers-song In a rare musical performance!]]

->Who will be your pretty, little enemy?
->When I'm gone your world will prove empty.
->I promise you will always remember me.
->The joke's on you, poison me.
->While you clean the streets of misfortune,
->I pick the innocent from my dirty teeth.
->[[NotSoDifferent We're one and the same]]...deranged.
-->-- '''Music/CoheedAndCambria''', in a little ditty about Batsy and me, straight up from the ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamCity'' soundtrack

->''[[WhatWereYouThinking What were you trying to prove?]] [[NotSoDifferent That deep down, everyone's as ugly as you?!]] [[ShutUpHannibal No. You're alone.]]''
-->-- '''Batman''', [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Ouch!]] ''Film/TheDarkKnight''

->'''Carnage''': I thought you had the stomach for death, Joker. I guess I was wrong.
->'''Me''': It's not a question of stomach, my friend, [[EvilIsStylish it's a question of]] ''[[EvilIsStylish style]]''! Any idiot...nothing personal, of course... can go out and slaughter a few thousand people, but were's the laughter and tears? The handstands and histrionics? In short, my dense and sanguine pal, [[EvilIsHammy where's the]] ''[[LargeHam theater]]''? I always thought of myself as the OrsonWelles of crime and chaos, while you, apparantly, aspire to be nothing more than...David Hasselhoff! Alas, dear Carnage, I thought we had the makings of a classic team--but--hard as it is to believe, I was wrong!
-->-- '''Yours truly again''', spelling it out for Carnage, in the first Franchise/{{Batman}}/SpiderMan crossover. What is this new generation coming to, I ask you?

->'''Bat-Fake:''' It's funny. I know about all your other major enemies, but you never mentioned him. He was the worst, wasn't he?
->'''Bruce:''' It wasn't a popularity contest. He was a psychopath. A monster.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker''. Damn straight, Brucey!

->You can be a goody two-shoes 'till the end of your days
->You can listen to them say crime never pays
->You can follow every law and be the big black bat
->But why would you want to? Huh!

->Where's the fun in that?
->Where's the fun in that?

->So, smile, darn you, smile (Ah...)
->Everybody loves to grin
->Follow my lead, recite my creed
->And smile, darn you, smile
-->-- '''The Marvelous Moi''', in my crazy musical number called "WheresTheFunInThat (Smile, Darn You, Smile)", ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheBraveAndTheBold'', "ComicBook/EmperorJoker!"

->''"I can't believe it. He's... he's actually gone. [[AntagonistInMourning Let's take a moment to reflect on the passing of a man]] who was more than just another do-gooder in tights. He was the best [[ArchEnemy arch-nemesis]] a sociopath could ask for.'' ({{beat}}) ''Okay, let's do it again!"''
-->-- '''Good Ol' Moi''', right before bringing the dead Bat to life and then forcing him to go through a DeathMontage (though LighterAndSofter and less explicit), ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheBraveAndTheBold'', "ComicBook/EmperorJoker!"

->''One by One, they'll hear my call. Then this wicked town, will follow my fall.''
-->-- '''My message written on a cell wall in Arkham''', from ''Batman: The Man Who Laughs''.

->''"All you care about is money. This town ''deserves'' a better class of criminal, and I'm gonna give it to 'em."''
-->-- '''Me!''', ''Film/TheDarkKnight''

->''"'''WHAT?!!''' Compare me to Batman?! I got more style, more brains! [[SharpDressedMan I'm certainly a better dresser]]!"''
-->-- '''Me!''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "Be a Clown"

->''"Adios, Brucie. I suppose I should salute you as a [[WorthyOpponent worthy adversary]] and all that, but the truth is I really did hate your guts. ([[BlowingARaspberry blows a raspberry]])"''
-->-- '''Me!''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker''

->''"I do terrible, crazy things, and then [[Franchise/{{Batman}} you]] act all grim and gritty and stop me. And I go back to Arkham and you go back to...well, whatever it is you do when I'm not around. Brooding all by yourself in the '''dark''' I suppose. [[IAmWhatIAm That's just how we ]]'''[[IAmWhatIAm are]]'''. Or how we've grown to be. [[StatusQuoIsGod And it's ]]'''[[StatusQuoIsGod never ]]'''[[StatusQuoIsGod going to change]]."''
-->-- '''Me again!''', ''[[ComicBook/TheBatmanAdventures Batman: Gotham Adventures]]'' #60

->'''Harvey Dent:''' (''on television'') Together, we can make this city safe for decent people!
->'''Me:''' Decent people shouldn't live here. They'd be happier some place else.
-->-- ''Film/{{Batman}}''

->''"Too easy! Played you like a violin, and then cut your strings! Nighty-night, Bats."''
-->-- '''My gloating''' during [[DeathIsASlapOnTheWrist a temporary victory]] ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamAsylum''

->''"C'mon-c'mon, I want you to do it, I wanchatodoit, hit me, '''HIT ME!'''"''
-->-- '''Me''' proving to Batsy that [[GameOfChicken I'm not afraid of him]] in ''Film/TheDarkKnight''

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-->[-If, for whatever little ol' reason, you'd prefer speaking to me in glorious person, [[SelfDemonstrating/TheJoker click here.]] ([[SnarkBait Hurry!]] [[IfYouCallBeforeMidnightTonight This deal won't]] ''[[RidiculouslyLoudCommercial LAST!]]'')-]
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