->''"And the Real Lesson? Don't leave things in the Fridge."''
-->-- '''Spike Spiegel''', ''Anime/CowboyBebop''

->''“This is exactly why babies should not be allowed to [[GunsAkimbo dual-wield flintlock pistols]].”''
-->--'''{{Andrew Hussie}}''', ''{{Homestuck}}''

->''"The moral of WorldWarI is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand'."''
-->-- '''Lemony Snicket''', ''ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents''

->''"It's not the beard on the outside that counts, it's the beard on the inside."''
-->-- '''Action Hank''', ''WesternAnimation/DextersLaboratory''

->''"Givin' kids charity just makes 'em weak, man. Teach a kid to fish, he can eat fish his whole life. Teach a kid NOT to fish, he starves to death. Where I come from that's murder, Homes."''
-->-- '''Dusty''', ''in a custom campaign for VideoGame/Left4Dead2''

->''"This is exactly why babies should not be allowed to dual-wield flintlock pistols."''
-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'', [[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003819 here.]]

->'''Jake:''' Let's never be stupid again.
->'''Finn:''' No! Let's ALWAYS be stupid! FOREVER!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'', "My Two Favorite People"

->''"Never forget the teachings of those you shoot in the head after they become zombies."''
-->-- AltText of ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja''

->'''Vicken:''' Well I think we learned an important lesson today about online safety.
->'''Stef:''' Yeah, if you want to meet up with a random stranger, make sure your friends're there with loads of weapons to beat him up.
->'''Vicken:''' Ahhh ... right.
-->-- ''Mighty Moshin' Emo Rangers, Episode 6:'' "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8EBvJWKHtM Uncle Cuddles and Fiddles The Kid]]"

->'''Chan:''' You suppose there's a moral in all of this?
->'''Hsu:''' Oh... probably.
-->-- ''HsuAndChan'', "Evening of Destruction"

->''"[[OnceAnEpisode Dear Princess Celestia]], [[AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle I wanted to share my thoughts with you]]. Ahem.... I didn't learn anything! I was right all along!"'' *happily trots across the screen*
-->-- '''Applejack''', ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''

->''"Stay away from good-looking women when you're fighting. Otherwise you'll get hit with [[ToiletHumor diarrhea]].' One of the few things I learned from Shadow Moses."''
-->-- '''[[ButtMonkey Johnny Sasaki]]''' on what he learned from [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid the prequel]], ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty''

->''"I guess we've learned it doesn't really matter where you're from, as long as we're all the same religion"''
-->-- '''Peter Griffin''', ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->'''SpiderMan''': The moral of the story is: trust noone.
->'''{{Storm}}''': That is NOT what we learned from all this!
-->-- ''ComicBook/MarvelAdventures: The Avengers''

->''"It just goes to show you: Always be wary of people who are way into putting jewels on their sweaters. They may transform into hideous freaks and rampage at summer camps."''
-->-- '''MC Bat Commander''', ''TheAquabatsSuperShow''

-> ''"You smoke, [[PlayerCharacter Shepard]]? Don't. That stuff'll kill you. Knew a kid once, half your age. Smoked too close to a cache of explosives. Tossed a butt, blew himself sky high."''
--> -- '''Zaeed Massani''', ''VideoGame/MassEffect2''

->'''Tom Servo:''' What do you think the lesson of the movie was?\\
'''Crow:''' Don't watch it.
-->-- ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000''

->''"Boy, never put your dick in anything that lights up!"''
-->--'''{{Website/SFDebris}}''' quotes his grandfather's sage advice

->''"It just goes to show: never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be ''good'' pudding, and you can spend all afternoon explaining that, but no one's gonna eat it because '''you stuck your dick in it'''!"''
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', ''Franchise/PrinceOfPersia Retrospective''

->''"Remember, kids, exercise is hard, but shoving a spoon down your throat is easy! And don't forget to do it after every meal, just like me!"''
-->-- ''WebVideo/SailorMoonAbridged, Episode 1''

->''"When I look good, I feel good, too! And the only way I feel good is by vomiting. The only drawback is the stomach acid making my breath smell rank as hell. So I always brush my teeth after every throw up session. Take it from me, kids! A skinny bod means nothing if your breath smells like a dead horse and hot garbage! Sailor Moon says!"'' (giggle)
-->-- ''WebVideo/SailorMoonAbridged, Episode 32''

->'''Yugi:''' Don't you get it, Tristan? This is Joey's coming-of-age episode, where he proves he's a real man by winning a children's card game all by himself.
->'''Tristan:''' Well, he's got a hot sister, so I guess I can forgive him for assaulting me.
->'''Yugi:''' And that's what friendship is all about!
-->-- ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''

->'''Yugi:''' We've learned that [[SeriousBusiness card games]] are the answer to all life's problems. And the only thing I know for certain in this world is that [[SplitPersonality there's a strange man living inside my head]] who tells me to do things.
->'''[[SuperpoweredEvilSide Yami]]''': You said it Yugi! Now burn everything, burn it to the ground!
-->-- ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''

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