->Got married on my twenty first
->Eight months before my wife would give birth
->It's easier to be sure you love someone
->When her father inquires with the barrel of a gun
-->-- '''Music/RelientK''', ''Deathbed''

->Here comes the bride, the groom by her side, feeling very sorry for himself.
->He tried to run, but I stopped him with my gun, he's going to marry her, or else.
-->-- '''Chad Morgan''', ''Shotgun Wedding''

->''Yeah, and your family's got the shotgun ready\\
I can hear those church bells chime\\
No, I may not be ready for a wedding, honey\\
But I know that I ain't ready to die''
-->-- '''Kevin Fowler''', "Knocked Up"

->'''Ted:''' Barney, [[MySisterIsOffLimits we]] are not getting married! [...]\\
'''Barney:''' But you two ''have'' to get married! Otherwise it's just a cheap, meaningless, disgusting one-night stand!\\
'''Ted:''' Wait, just to be clear...[[ReallyGetsAround you]]'re saying you're ''opposed'' to cheap, meaningless, disgusting one-night stands?[[note]]For context, Barney just got engaged to Robin and is "detoxing" from years of sleeping around[[/note]]
-->-- ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'', "[[Recap/HowIMetYourMotherS8E14RingUp Ring Up!]]"

->''"Ah, hon-ey are you gorgeous, you look just like a virgin. Here, I brought you some crackers for your morning sickness."''
-->-- '''Fran''' to a woman trying on a wedding dress, ''Series/TheNanny''

->'''Grilka:''' ''[giving Quark Klingon wedding ritual costume]'' Put this on.
->'''Quark:''' Why?
->'''Grilka:''' Because if you do not, I will kill you.
-->-- ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'', "The House of Quark"

->'''John Finnemore:''' There was a story about an Iranian man who was forced to marry a goat. Because he had already... [[BestialityIsDepraved consummated the marriage]], and as punishment he was made to go through a ceremony with the goat.
->'''Creator/{{David Mitchell|Actor}}:''' To make her an honest goat.
->'''John Finnemore:''' Exactly, yeah. And for the sake of the [[{{Pun}} kids]].
-->-- ''Radio/TheUnbelievableTruth''

->On leave from France, he had come out of a drinking hole in Sackville Street and bumped into a girl. It was dark, [[BeerGoggles he was drunk]], she was keen. He awoke next morning to find her in bed with him. He ran screaming from the house, her purse under his arm. He didn't get away with it. Seven weeks later, a giant of a man, seven foot high and [[EvilRedHead smothered in red hair]], walked through the door holding her by the hand. [[PapaWolf The monster]] lifted O'Toole off the floor and told him to get ready for "marriage or death." He had started to object, whereupon the monster had started to hit him with great bone-crunching knuckles. All he remembered was [[CirclingBirdies birds twittering]] and her shouting "[[GroinAttack Don't ruin him for the honeymoon]], hit him above the waist." Leaving a trail of broken teeth, he was dragged to the altar in the grip of two monsters who looked like kinfolk of Grendel.
-->-- ''Literature/{{Puckoon}}''

->'''John Crichton:''' Empress Novia, I understand [[SuccessionCrisis your problems]]. But you need to understand: [[TemptingFate there's nothing you can say that's gonna make me marry your daughter]].
->[''Novia smirks, and a moment later, [[OhCrap Crichton freezes in terror]] as [[BigBad Scorpius]] appears in the doorway'']
->'''Scorpius:''' Oh hello, Crichton! I have traveled a long, long way just [[ColdBloodedTorture to see you again!]] [''hugs Crichton tightly'']
->'''John Crichton:''' [''quietly terrified''] I hate to say that you've wasted your time, Scorpy, but you have.
->'''Scorpius:''' You know that no matter what you think, the rift between us need not be terminal.
->'''John Crichton:''' Go away, Scorpy. It's over. [[FoeRomanceSubtext Find another girlfriend]].
->'''Scorpius:''' Now, don't let her frighten you, John. You make the correct decision.
->[''He steps away, allowing Novia to whisper in Crichton's ear'']
->'''Novia:''' My daughter, or that abomination. ''' ''[[SadisticChoice Choose]].'' '''
-->-- ''Series/{{Farscape}}'', "[[Recap/FarscapeS02E11LookAtThePrincessAKissIsButAKiss Look At The Princess Part I: A Kiss Is But A Kiss]]"

->''"[A] match that had been obtained by the grand old tradition of finding the girl in the boy's bed one evening."''
-->-- '''Lady Chelsted''', ''Fanfic/TheKingNobodyWanted''

->'''Debra:''' So it was just the once, and then you got married?\\
'''Frank:''' [[LawOfInverseFertility It was just the once and then we HAD to get married.]]
-->-- ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond''

->'''Beatrice:''' ''[dryly]'' Here's your omelet. ''[throws the plate onto the table]'' I'm sorry it's not as good as the omelets your secretary makes, but then you're not married to your secretary, are you?\\
'''Butterscotch:''' ''[bitterly]'' Well, maybe if my secretary ''also'' refused to get an abortion, I would be.\\
'''Young [=BoJack=]:''' Mommy, can ''I'' have an omelet?\\
'''Beatrice:''' [[BlackComedy You're the birthday boy.]]
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BoJackHorseman'', [[Recap/BojackHorsemanS1E02BojackHatesTheTroops "[=BoJack=] Hates the Troops"]]
----