->'''Amy:''' I think the baby's starting.\\
'''Rory:''' Honestly?!\\
'''Amy:''' WOULD I MAKE IT UP AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!\\
'''Rory:''' Well, you do have a history of -- [[LastSecondWordSwap being very lovely]].
-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS31E7AmysChoice Amy's Choice]]"

->''...the tiny guy baby is still emerging from the mother, and the doctor tells her that it's a boy, and she, in a classic expression of maternal joy, responds, "ARGGHHHHHHHH." She is not feeling so great, because the baby is not ''that'' tiny, compared with the orifice it is emerging from.''
-->-- ''Creator/DaveBarry's Complete Guide to Guys''

->''"Now let's see here..." Dr. Andrew muttered as he tried to measure how far along she was. "Holy shit! You're ready! Have you been feeling little pains for the whole day?"''\\
''"Yes! Now get it out of me before kill the both of you, and turn your hides into my own personal pajamas!" She shouted as she squeezed Warden's hand so tight it turned purple.''\\
''"Don't worry about that, Warden." Dr. Andrew told the pale groom. "They all say that."''\\
''Warden nodded his understanding, but was still worried. He knew Mistress could and would turn him into pajamas if she wanted to. Not all women had her abilities.''\\
''"Mistress, I want you to push on three. Got it?" Dr. Andrew asked his new patient. She nodded and he started the count.''\\
''"1, 2, 3, PUSH!" He shouted. Mistress screamed as she pushed with all her might.''\\
''"Good! I can see the head! Give me another big one! PUSH!" The doctor yelled. After this process, crying filled the room. Dr. Andrew snipped the cord and wrapped the child in a blanket.''
-->-- ''Fanfic/ExtendedStay, Chapter 13''

->''"And at the next contraction, my wife told everyone in the delivery room that my parents were never married!"''
-->-- '''Creator/BillCosby''', ''Himself''

->''In those days, [...], a visit to the delivery rooms in any large American hospital would have sounded to you like a visit to a madhouse. Women weeping wildly, women screaming that they wished they were dead, women screaming that they could not bear such agony, women screaming for Christ to forgive them their sins, women screaming out strings of curses and gutter-words their husbands and fathers never would have believed they knew. All of this was quite the accepted thing, in spite of the fact that most of the world's women give birth in almost complete silence, aside from the grunting sounds of strain that we would associate with any piece of hard physical labour. Doctors were responsible for some of this hysteria, I'm sorry to say. The stories the pregnant woman heard from friends and relatives who had already been through the birthing process also contributed to it. Believe me: if you are told that some experience is going to hurt, it will hurt. Most pain is in the mind, and when a woman absorbs the idea that the act of giving birth is excruciatingly painful - when she gets this information from her mother, her sisters, her married friends, and her physician - that woman has been mentally prepared to feel great agony.''
-->--Emlyn [=McCarron=] on childbirth in the 1930s, ''[[Literature/DifferentSeasons The Breathing Method]]''

->'''Doctor:''' Push, ensign!\\
'''Ensign Samantha Wildman:''' You push, dammit, I'm sick of pushing!
-->-- ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "[[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS2E21Deadlock Deadlock]]"

->''It seems we had discovered where the migrant workers came to have their babies. Periodically, a woman’s anguished scream would pierce the air, followed by awful moans and calls of [[IWantMyMommy “Mi madre!”]] The place sounded like a house of horrors. Jenny was white as a ghost.''
-->-- ''Literature/MarleyAndMe'', Chapter 12 "The Indigent Ward"

->''"That wasn't very nice. I mean, that could have really hurt! Not as much as it did for Mrs. Cake when the twins were born! I mean, ouch, seven hours in labor was hard, and she kept saying these funny words to Mr. Cake that I'm not allowed to repeat, and when she somehow got a hold of that scalpel...fortunately, Mr. Cake's scars have healed, and Nurse Redheart sees almost perfectly out of that eye now..."''
-->-- '''Pinkie Pie''', ''[[Fanfic/TheNuptialverse Families]]''

->''“AAHHH” she screamed in horror as her infant rocketed from inside her towards the free world.''
-->-- '''Ryan Hix''', ''Literature/LyttleLyttonContest 2011''


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