[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:''Scream'']]
->'''Randy:''' There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex.
->''''
->'''Stu:''' [[SarcasmMode Dead man, I'm a dead man.]]
->'''Randy:''' Big no-no! Big no-no! [[SexSignalsDeath Sex equals death, okay?]] Number two: you can never drink or do drugs.
->''''
->'''Randy:''' No, listen! [[TheScourgeOfGod It's a sin!]] It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say "[[TemptingFate I'll be right back]]." 'Cause you won't be back.
->'''Stu:''' I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?
->'''Randy:''' Yeah, sure.
->'''Stu:''' ''[[LampshadeHanging I'll be right back!]]''
->'''Randy:''' You see, you push the laws, and you end up dead, okay? [[{{Foreshadowing}} I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.]]
-->--[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-q-AWD_8AY Randy's rules for surviving a horror movie.]]

->'''Ghostface:''' Do you like scary movies?
->'''Sidney:''' I like that thing you're doing with your voice, Randy. It's sexy.
->'''Ghostface:''' What's your favorite scary movie?
->'''Sidney:''' Come on, you know I don't watch that shit.
->'''Ghostface:''' Why not? Too scared?
->'''Sidney:''' No. No, it's just what's the point? [[StrictlyFormula They're all the same.]] Some stupid killer stalking some [[TheBrainlessBeauty big-breasted girl]] who [[DullSurprise can't act]] who's always [[TooDumbToLive running up the stairs when she should be going out the front door]]. It's insulting.
-->--Now guess what Sidney does when confronted by the killer?

->'''Ghostface/[[spoiler:Billy Loomis]]:''' I think she wants a motive. Well, I don't really believe in motives, Sid. I mean, did Norman Bates have a motive? Did we ever find out why Hannibal Lecter liked to eat people? ''Don't think so!'' [[ForTheEvulz See, it's a lot scarier when there's no motive.]]
-->--Don't worry, he actually does have a motive.

->'''[[spoiler:Billy Loomis]]:''' Now Sid, don't you blame the movies! Movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative!

->''[A phone rings.]''
->'''Stu:''' Fuck! Should I let the machine get it?
->'''Ghostface/[[spoiler:Billy Loomis]]:''' ''[Picks up the phone.]'' Hello?
->'''Sidney:''' ''(Ghostface voice)'' [[CallBack Are you alone in the house?]]
->'''Ghostface/[[spoiler:Billy Loomis]]:''' [[GoMadFromTheRevelation Bitch!]] You bitch! Where the fuck are you?
->'''Sidney:''' ''(Ghostface voice)'' Not so fast. We're gonna play a little game. It's called ''(normal voice)'' "Guest Who Just Called The Police And Reported Your Sorry Motherfucking Ass!"
-->--[[{{Karma}} Not so funny now, is it?]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder:''Scream 2'']]
-> '''Randy:''' Let's get down to business. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall The way I see it, someone's out to make a sequel. You know, cash in on all the movie murder hoopla.]] So it's our job to observe the rules of a sequel. [[DarkerAndEdgier Number one, the body count is always bigger.]] [[{{Gorn}} Number two, the death scenes are always much more elaborate; more blood, more gore. Carnage candy!]] Your core audience expects it. And number three, never, ever, under any circumstances--
-> '''Dewey:''' How do we find the killer, Randy? That's what I wanna know.
-> '''Randy:''' Oh. Well, let's look at the suspects. [[LoveInterest There's Derek, the obvious boyfriend.]] [[spoiler: [[CallBack Hello, Billy Loomis!]]]] The guy's pre-med and his pity-me service wound conveniently missed every vein and artery!
-> '''Dewey:''' So you think it's Derek.
-> '''Randy:''' Not so fast. [[GenreSavvy Let's assume the killer or -ers has half a brain.]] He's not a ''Nick at Nite'' rerun type of guy. He wants to break some new ground, right? So forget the boyfriend, it's tired! Who else do we got?
-> '''Dewey:''' There's...
-> '''Randy:''' [[NarrowedItDownToTheGuyIRecognize MICKEY! The freaky Tarantino film student!]] But if he's a suspect, so am I. So let's move on.
-> '''Dewey:''' Whoa, wait, wait. Let's not move on. Maybe you ''are'' a suspect.
-> '''Randy:''' Well, if ''I'm'' a suspect, ''you're'' a suspect.
-> '''Dewey:''' You have a point. Okay. Let's move on...

-> '''[[spoiler:Mickey]]:''' You really should deal with your trust issues, Sid. I mean, poor [[spoiler:Derek]]. He was completely innocent and such a nice boy too. He was bright, and fun, and handsome, had a good voice and was going to be a doctor. This is just the kind of boy you'd like to take home to mom... if you had a mom.
-> '''Sidney:''' Fuck you!
-> '''[[spoiler:Mickey]]:''' Oh! So vulgar! Did Billy let you talk to him like this?

-> '''[[spoiler:Mickey]]:''' [[spoiler:Billy]] was good at this. He knew it's all about execution.
-> '''Sidney:''' Yeah? But you forgot one thing about [[spoiler:Billy Loomis]].
-> '''[[spoiler:Mickey]]:''' What's that?
-> '''Sidney:''' I fucking killed him!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:''Scream 3'']]

-> '''Ghostface''': Oh, it's hard being friends with you, Sidney. When you're friends with Sidney, you die.

-> '''Sidney''': It's your turn to scream, asshole!

-> '''Sidney''': Do you know why you kill people, [[spoiler:Roman]]? Do you? You kill people because you choose to! There is no one else to blame!

-> '''Randy''': Told ya I'd make a movie someday, huh?
-> '''Sidney''': Oh my god.
-> '''Randy''': [[VideoWill Well, if you're watching this tape]], it means, as I feared, [[CallBack I did not survive these killings here at Windsor College.]] And that [[SexSignalsDeath giving up my virginity to Karen Kolchec at the video store was probably not a good idea.]]
-> '''Dewey''': Karen Kolchec?
-> '''Randy''': [[TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat Yes, Karen Kolchec.]]
-> '''Dewey''': Creepy Karen?
-> '''Randy''': Shut up. She's a sweet person, okay? We were working late. We were putting away some videos in the porno section, and ya know, shit happens.
-> '''Paul''': ''(Knocking on the door in the background)'' Open the door, Randy.
-> '''Randy''': 15 minutes.
-> '''Paul''': It's my room too.
-> '''Randy''': Paul, 15 minutes. I'm leaving my legacy.
->''''
-> '''Randy''': 15 minutes, Paul. Damn! Anyway, the reason I am here is to help you so that my death will not be in vain, that my life's work will save some other poor soul from getting mutilated. If this killer does come back and he's for real, there are a few things that you gotta remember. Is this simply another sequel? Well, if it is, same rules apply. But--here's the critical thing--if you find yourself dealing with an unexpected backstory and a preponderance of exposition, then the sequel rules DO NOT apply. Because you are not dealing with a sequel, you are dealing with the concluding chapter of a trilogy.
-> '''Dewey''': Trilogy?
-> '''Randy''': That's right, it's a rarity in the horror field but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get go. [[Film/TheGodfather Godfather]], [[Film/ReturnOfTheJedi Jedi]], all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules: 1. [[MadeOfIron You got a killer who's going to be superhuman. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work.]] Basically, in the third one you gotta [[HumanPopsicle cryogenically freeze his head]], [[OffWithHisHead decapitate him]], or blow him up. 2. [[AnyoneCanDie Anyone, including the main character, can die.]] This means you, Sid. I'm sorry. It's the final chapter. It could be fucking [[Film/ReservoirDogs Reservoir Dogs]] by the time this thing is through. Number 3. The past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest. Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you. So in closing, let me say good luck, godspeed, and for some of you, I'll see you soon. 'Cause the rules say some of you ain't gonna make it. I didn't, not if you're watching this tape.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:''Scream 4'']]
-> '''Ghostface:''' Welcome home, Sidney. Preview of coming events.
-> '''Sidney:''' Why don't you come for me? Ain't got the balls for that?
-> '''Ghostface:''' Oh, poor Sidney. You think this is all about you. You think you're still the star.
-> '''Sidney:''' This isn't a fucking movie!
-> '''Ghostface:''' It will be.
-> '''Sidney:''' These are innocent people!
-> '''Ghostface:''' Spare me the lecture! You've done very well by all this bloodshed, haven't you? But how about the town you've left behind? I got plans for you. I'm gonna slit your eyelids in half so you don't blink when I stab you in the face. You'll die when I want you to, Sidney, not a moment before... until then, you're going to suffer.

-> '''Charlie:''' A party. Guaranteed third act main cast bloodbath.
-> '''Gale:''' Okay, so do you know of a party that's happening tonight?
-> '''Charlie:''' Well... there's Stab-a-thon.
-> '''Sidney:''' Stab-a-thon?
-> '''Charlie:''' It's a movie marathon. All seven ''Stabs'' back to back, we do it every year.
-> '''Sidney:''' And it's tonight? There's a killer out there patterning his murders after the original movie.
-> '''Charlie:''' [[TemptingFate I know. It's pretty wild.]]

-> '''[[spoiler:Jill Roberts]]:''' Look around. We're all living in public now, we're all in the internet. How do you think people become famous anymore? You don't have to achieve anything. You just gotta have fucked up shit happen to you.

-> '''Sidney:''' This... you film your entire high school experience and what, post it on the 'net?
-> '''Robbie''': Everybody will be doing it some day.
-> '''Charlie:''' It's kind of the one component the killer is missing.
-> '''Gale:''' Wait, what do you mean?
-> '''Charlie:''' Well, if you wanna be the new, new version, the killer should be filming the murders.
-> '''Robbie''': Yeah, it's like the natural next step in the psycho-slasher innovation. I mean, you film them all real-time, and before you get caught, you upload them into cyberspace.
-> '''Charlie:''' Making your art as immortal as you.
-> '''Charlie and Robbie:''' [[FinishDialogueInUnison Not to implicate him/me.]]
-> '''Sidney:''' So who do you think is doing the murders?
-> '''Charlie:''' Well, it's a Stab fanatic clearly. Working on less of a Shriequel and more of a Screamake.
-> '''Robbie''': Copyrighted terms, by the way.
-> '''Charlie:''' 'Cause all there are now are remakes. Only horror the studios greenlight. I mean, there are still rules, but the rules have changed. The unexpected is the new {{cliche}}.
->'''Robbie''': Yeah, you gotta have an opening sequence, that blows the doors off, dial up some flashy music video direction [[BloodierAndGorier and the kills gotta be way more extreme.]]
-> '''Charlie:''' Modern audiences get [[GenreSavvy savvy]] to the rules of the original. So, the reverse has become the new standard. In fact, the only sure-fire way to survive a modern horror movie, you pretty much gotta be gay.
-> '''Gale:''' So, why are you so sure that the killer is working by the rules of a horror remake?
->'''Robbie''': Well, the original Stab structure is pretty apparent.
-> '''Charlie''': Yeah, two kids killed in a house when their parents are away?
->'''Robbie''': And then the school's 'hot chick' savaged beyond recognition.
-> '''Charlie''': We all know where it goes from there...?
->'''Sidney''': A party.
-> '''Charlie''': Exactly. A party. Guaranteed third-act-main-cast bloodbath.
->'''Robbie''': Fingers crossed on some nudity for a change.

->'''Sidney''': You forgot the first rule of remakes, [[spoiler: Jill]]: Don't fuck with the original.
[[/folder]]