->''Oh, and ''Series/FearFactor'', I watched maybe a half hour\\
After that, felt like I needed a long shower\\
Network execs with naked ambitions\\
'Next week on {{Creator/FOX}}, watch ''Lions Eat Christians''![='=]''
-->-- '''Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', "Couch Potato"

->Time now for ''Life on Tatooine'', brought to viewers everywhere in the hope that our own lives may be uplifted by the comparison and enriched with the gratitude of relief.
-->-- '''TV announcer''', ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''

->They're like onlookers at a car crash. As long it's not happening to them, they're dying to get a closer look.
-->-- '''[[{{VideoGame/Persona4}} Yosuke Hanamura]]''' on everyone's interest in the string of murders.

->Look around. We all live in public now, we're all on the Internet. How do you think people become famous any more? You don't have to ''achieve'' anything; you just gotta have fucked up-shit happen to you.
--> -- [[spoiler:Jill Roberts]], ''{{Film/Scream 4}}''

->Why is everybody we know depressing?
-->-- '''Stewie Griffin''', WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', "Grumpy Old Man"

->It is not enough for me to succeed. Others must fail.
-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal'''

->One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

->In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in 'blood and guts', and in living color, you are going to see another first — attempted suicide.
-->--WXLT anchorwoman '''Christine Chubbuck''', before fatally shooting herself (1974)

->...thousands of people are waiting [[NightmareFetishist to see if we could successfully land]]. And although we go there for the science questions, I don't think they were there at 1:30 in the morning because they're dying to know about the pH and salinity of the ancient aqueous environmental stability of Mars.
-->--'''Adam Steltzner''', Mars Science Laboratory lead engineer for Entry, Decent and Landing on why the Curiosity Rover Landing was so popular.

->Wrestling/NewJack and Vic Grimes fell ''20 feet!'' They aren't stuntmen. They're on concrete, it should've killed them! And what would've happened if they would've died? They'd have [[WeHaveReserves moved 'em over and kept goin']]. Y'know, to me, two guys almost die, that's a big deal. And it's not a big deal to the fan, because they're so [[ViewersAreGoldfish MTV-minded]], they're gonna say "What's next?". Unless you ''[[{{Overcrank}} slow things down]]'' to [[RepeatCut show them the]] [[PlayedForDrama gravity]] [[RepeatCut of what they just saw]].
-->--'''Terry Taylor''', former Talent Relations for {{Wrestling/ECW}}, on the Danbury fall (''Forever Hardcore: The Documenterary'')

->As expected, Series/DrPhil’s “intervention” with Bobbi Kristina Brown’s boyfriend Nick Gordon was an erratic, [[AttentionWhore fame whore train wreck]] that ended with the lukewarm butt plug of smug Dr. Phil patting himself on the back. If Everlast sold punching bags [[DartboardOfHate with Dr. Phil’s face on it]], they would become the richest company in the world and we’d all have arms as thick as Creator/JonHamm’s dick.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/03/11/dr-phils-interview-with-nick-gordon-was-a-disaster/ Michael K.]]'''

->''Million Dollar Drop'' was a short-lived game show where couples had $1,000,000 they wagered on trivia knowledge. They placed stacks of bills on trapdoors that of course clanked open when they got a question wrong. It was crushing for people to watch their actual dreams fall away, but the demilich beneath {{Creator/FOX}} studios demanded a sacrifice of cash tainted with despair.
-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-biggest-cheaters-in-game-show-history/#ixzz2eGWH8FH0 The 5 Biggest Cheaters in Game Show History]]"

->Everybody knows that the only watchable episode of ''Series/AmericanIdol'' is the first one of the season. Therein all the self-delusional idiots fly off the handle when the judges tell them what their hearts already whisper: ''You are terribly ordinary.''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-star-performers-who-never-let-lack-talent-stop-them/ "5 Star Performers Who Never Let a Lack of Talent Stop Them"]]

->'''Danny:''' [[TranquilFury Okay, you know what, Arin?]] [[RageQuit I think we're going to call this an episode.]]\\
'''Arin:''' No! Oh my God, this is so funny!
-->--''GameGrumps'', "The Wacky World of Miniature Golf: [[SarcasmMode Dan's Favorite Game]] - PART 1"