->''"Oh, and ''FearFactor'', I watched maybe a half hour\\
After that, felt like I needed a long shower\\
Network execs with naked ambitions\\
'Next week on FOX, watch Lions Eat Christians!'"''
-->-- '''Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', "Couch Potato"

->''"Why is everybody we know depressing?"''
-->-- '''Stewie Griffin''', ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', "Grumpy Old Man"

->''"It is not enough for me to succeed. Others must fail."''
-->-- '''GoreVidal'''

->''"...thousands of people are waiting [[NightmareFetishist to see if we could successfully land]]. And although we go there for the science questions, I don't think they were there at 1:30 in the morning because they're dying to know about the pH and salinity of the ancient aqueous environmental stability of Mars."''
-->--'''Adam Steltzner''', Mars Science Laboratory lead engineer for Entry, Decent and Landing on why the Curiosity Rover Landing was so popular.

->''"''Million Dollar Drop'' was a short-lived game show where couples had $1,000,000 they wagered on trivia knowledge. They placed stacks of bills on trapdoors that of course clanked open when they got a question wrong. It was crushing for people to watch their actual dreams fall away, but the demilich beneath {{FOX}} studios demanded a sacrifice of cash tainted with despair.''
-->-- '''''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-biggest-cheaters-in-game-show-history/#ixzz2eGWH8FH0 The 5 Biggest Cheaters in Game Show History]]"

->''"Everybody knows that the only watchable episode of ''AmericanIdol'' is the first one of the season. Therein all the self-delusional idiots fly off the handle when the judges tell them what their hearts already whisper: ''You are terribly ordinary.''"''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-star-performers-who-never-let-lack-talent-stop-them/ "5 Star Performers Who Never Let a Lack of Talent Stop Them"]]

->''"Every clip that TLC has released to promote their 2-hour special on [[Series/JonAndKatePlusEight Kate Gosselin’s]] never-ending quest to pimp out her litter of pups has done nothing but remind everyone that Kate’s still an awful, greedy, horrible shameless [[AttentionWhore fame whore]] who would volunteer all 8 of her children as tribute for ''Film/TheHungerGames'' if it meant she could get her rubber face on television. Someone at TLC must have finally realized that no one is going to tune in to their 2-hour documentary on Pennsylvania’s [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians Pimp Mama Kris]] when they can tune in to E! and watch the real thing, so today they released a clip to ''People'' of a humbled, struggling Kate in an attempt to make her seem more sympathetic and less evil (not possible, but good try TLC)."''
-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/06/25/kate-gosselin-says-she-cries-crocodile-tears-of-sadness-behind-closed-doors/ DListed]]'''''