->''"We fire the jokes at you like an automatic weapon of comedy. We throw a curve ball joke at you, hit you right in the head. You go "Wow, what happened?" We take you on a little trolley ride down story lane. You're havin' a good time, enjoying out little tale, think you know what's coming. BOOM! Left turn! You don't know how it happened. You don't know where you are, but you like it."''
-->-- '''Peter Griffin''', ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->'''Waldorf''': The show's speeding along very quickly this evening.\\
'''Statler''': Oh yes, someone must have told them it's harder to hit a moving target!
-->-- '''JustForFun/StatlerAndWaldorf''', ''Series/TheMuppetShow''

->''"Well, I've still got the pocket. Anything I retain now is velvet, except the coat, that's Prince Albert." ''(To audience.)'' "Well, all the jokes can't be good. You've got to expect that once in a while."''
-->-- '''Cpt. Jeffrey T. Spaulding''', ''Theatre/AnimalCrackers''

->''"No pauses in my punchlines, no commas in my comedy!"''
-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''', ''WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory''

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