[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Comedy]]
->'''Q:''' Why do the ''Politsiya'' always go around in groups of three?\\
'''A:''' One can read, one can write, and one keeps an eye on the two dangerous intellectuals.
-->-- '''[[RussianHumour Russian joke]]'''

->''When something gets stolen, and you call the police, at first you get excited. It's like, I've seen TV, I know what's gonna happen! I'm gonna call the police! Let's solve this case! Then, the police actually show up, they make their report, and then they give you'' Your Copy. ''Now, unless they give the thief'' His ''Copy, I don't think we're gonna see any progress.''
-->-- '''Creator/JerrySeinfeld'''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]
->'''Batroc:''' I believe... ...it is very reckless to deprive New York of its emergency services while you conduct a firefight in ze middle of the city.\\
'''Gwen:''' [...]Ha ha, okay. Here's the thing with the cops here. They are just another plot device to further the existence of super heroes. I'm from a world without super heroes. I know how cops are supposed to be, okay? If you had a halfway competent C.I.A., you wouldn't need S.H.I.E.L.D. If your military could fight the Skrulls, you wouldn't need the Avengers. And if your joke cops could stop a single bank robbery, then you wouldn't need Spider-Man. Your world never needed the police. And it will survive for a few minutes while I shoot some aliens without those police.
-->-- ''ComicBook/TheUnbelievableGwenpool''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Works]]
->''"It seems to me like I have to solve this case myself, because I know the cops won't. They're USELESS. A bunch of them played a game called 'taser tag' last week where they'd just go around and shoot each other with their tasers. Apparently, the handles for tasers and pistols feel very similar, and now we're down ten officers. What dumbasses.\\
They also eat practically only pez. You know, that candy that comes out of the little dispenser? I always get super nervous when I'm around them because I think they're going to accidentally pepper spray me instead of giving me some of their pez."''
-->--'''Greg Heffley''', ''Literature/DiaryOfAWimpyKid: Missing in Plainview''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
->'''Corey:''' How do you explain the car that came out of nowhere?\\
'''Cop:''' How do you explain midgets or sock monkeys? I don't know. Look, shit happens.
-->-- ''Film/SDarko''

->I'm not sure I agree 100% on your police work there, Lou.
-->-- '''Marge''', ''Film/{{Fargo}}''

->We're ''police officers!'' We're not trained to handle ''this'' level of violence!
-->-- '''Erwin''', ''Film/DemolitionMan''

->''(Tony the Hotdog Vendor reads a newspaper headlined ''"Headhunter-3, Cops-0"'')''\\
'''Tony:''' What does "een-com-pee-dent" mean?\\
'''Lt. Moran:''' That mayor, he calls me at 2 o'clock in the morning. I mean, I don't even answer the phone anymore.\\
'''Tony:''' Hey! What does "BAFFLED" mean? Hehehehe! Ha ha ha ha!
-->-- ''{{Film/Highlander}}''

->'''Stu:''' Kill me now, and you give yourself away.\\
'''Caller:''' Not with a silencer. It would take ''these'' guys the rest of the day to figure out it wasn't one of their own men that did it. You can be shot 41 times [[ShootHimHeHasAWallet for pulling out your wallet]].
-->-- ''Film/PhoneBooth''

->'''Col. Trautman:''' I don't think you understand. I didn't come to rescue Rambo from you. I came here to rescue you from him.\\
'''Sheriff Teasle:''' Well, we all appreciate your concern Colonel, I will try to be extra careful!\\
'''Trautman:''' I'm just amazed he allowed any of your "posse" to live.
-->-- ''Film/FirstBlood''

->You know what really chaps my hide? It's the way you pledged an oath to serve and protect -- and then you don't give a rat's ass when something really happens!
-->-- '''Reese Wilson''', campus police officer, ''Film/UrbanLegend''

->You see, the police are always off-track with [[OurSlashersAreDifferent this shit!]] If they'd watch Film/{{Prom Night|1980}}, they'd save time!
-->--'''Randy Meeks''', resident GenreSavvy, ''Film/{{Scream}}''

->'''911 Dispatcher:''' Whoever you are, sir, this frequency is for emergencies only.\\
'''John [=McClane=]:''' ''No fuckin' shit, lady!'' Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?!
-->-- ''Film/DieHard'', after John [=McClane=] tries to use an emergency frequency to contact the emergency services to report an emergency.

->'''Dwayne T. Robinson''': This is Deputy Chief of Police, Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge of this situation.\\
'''John [=McClane=]''': Oh, you're in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you Dwayne, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
-->--''Film/DieHard''

->''"When are you gonna take Costello, huh? I mean, what's wrong with taking him on any one of the million fucking felonies that you've seen him do, or I've seen him do? I mean, I mean, he murdered somebody, right? The guy fucking murders somebody, and you don't fucking take him! What are you waiting for, honestly? I mean, do you want him to chop me up and feed me to the poor? Is that what you guys want?"''
-->--'''Billy Costigan''', ''Film/TheDeparted''

->'''Maria Beltran''': Should I call the police?\\
'''John Rambo''': Cops can't cross the border. [[UsefulNotes/{{Mexico}} Down there]], [[DirtyCop they don't do shit]].
-->--''Film/RamboLastBlood''

->''"Oh, isn't that beautiful? All the lowlifes in quiet city Boston start dropping dead and *you* think it's unrelated! Greenly, the day I want the Boston Police to do my thinking for me, I will have a fucking tag on my toe!"''
-->--'''Paul Smecker''', ''Film/TheBoondockSaints''

->''"Two roadblocks and an all points bulletin wouldn't stop a five year old."''
-->--'''Dr. Sam Loomis''', ''Film/Halloween1978''

->''"I thought this was a police station, not the fuckin' circus."''
-->--'''The Hobo''', ''Film/HoboWithAShotgun''

->''"Cops never do anything."''
-->--'''Gloria''', ''Film/ActOfVengeance''

->''"Where the hell are all the cops? Damn, they're never around when you need one, you know that? You make a U-turn, and they're all over your ass. Where the fuck are they?"''
-->--'''Art Ridzik''', ''Film/RedHeat''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
->Two balaclava-wearing thieves reversed a pickup against my garage and attempted to pull the doors off. I woke in time and lit up the house to distract them; they went away without any sign of panic. The sight of balaclavas at 1:00 on a Sunday morning struck terror into my wife and me. When the police arrived, they deduced that the villains were probably after my Honda mower. The law had no comfort to offer, and tacitly conceded that they are a beaten lot, a spent force. The fear we felt was terrific. All this terror for a mower. Even if it ''is'' a Honda...Now I keep the Honda by my bed, and it's not easy to go for a pee in the middle of the night. Life is not so comfortable. On the bedside table, for fear of more balaclavas, I keep an axe. My intention is to [[BetterToDieThanBeKilled chop off my own head]] before they can get to me.
-->--'''Creator/TomBaker''', ''Who On Earth Is Tom Baker?''

->'''Officer Behaim''': Honestly? The average cop is pretty darn good. [[SturgeonsLaw But average is average.]] You think about what average usually gets you, and then you figure that half the people out there are below that average. That’s anywhere. Even here. And you can be better than average, while still having a trend that isn’t so good. Like having an awful lot of good cops who are still guys. Guys with families, wives, girlfriends, kids, guys who just want to work and go home at the end of the day.\\
'''Officer Vargas''': Good guys, but you spend too many years on a job, you’ll start to take shortcuts, move things along…\\
'''Officr Behaim''': Human nature. You don’t look like the sort that puts an awful lot of stock in the inherent ''good'' of human beings.
-->--''Literature/{{Pact}}''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
->'''Crow:''' Shouldn't we call the police or something?\\
'''Servo:''' Eh, we didn't last time and things seemed to work out.
-->-- ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000''

->"Welcome to ''Whose Line'', where everything is made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like the police in Columbia."
-->-- '''Drew Carey''', ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway''.

->"The police are just a janitorial service used to clean up your blood after you've been murdered."
-->-- '''Wynn Duffy''', ''Series/{{Justified}}''

->'''Michael''': Have you tried talking to the police?\\
'''Ernie''': They come, give me paperwork, and go back to Coral Gables.
-->--''Series/BurnNotice''., "Broken Rules"

->'''Al Large:''' Are you sayin' you won't help us?\\
'''P.C. Joe Penhale:''' I'm sayin' I can't. My hands are tied by the law.\\
'''Bert Large:''' Do you know what, Joe? The law is ''an ass''.
-->--''Series/DocMartin'', "Cats & Sharks"

->"I'm not even fit to wear this uniform! '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis I'M! A! DIS-!]]''' '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis GRACE!]]"'''''"
-->-- '''Constable Funnyname''', ''WesternAnimation/RexTheRunt''

->'''Henry:''' Hey, hello, I think my car was stolen.\\
'''Cop:''' Really? That sucks.\\
'''Henry:''' ... Yeah. Sooo, can you look for it?\\
'''Cop:''' Sure, no problem. How about I, uh, look under my desk here. ''(glances under desk)'' No, I'm stumped.
-->-- ''Series/OnceUponATime'', "Hyperion Heights"

->'''Cop:''' (concluding investigation of robbery at Jerry's apartment) Well, Mr. Seinfeld, uh, we'll look into it, and we'll let you know if we, you know, if we find anything.\\
'''Jerry:''' Do you ever find anything?\\
'''Cop:''' ([[{{Beat}} pause]]) No.
-->-- ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'', "The Robbery"

->'''Odo:''' You'll get sloppy without me to keep an eye on you.\\
'''Quark:''' I don't think so. You've kept me on my toes for far too long.\\
'''Odo:''' ''Sure''. [[GoodIsImpotent I've turned you into a better crook.]]\\
'''Quark:''' Like it or not!
-->--''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'', "A Man Alone"

->'''ComicBook/LoisLane''': You aren't going to look for clues, or dust for prints?\\
'''Insp. Henderson:''' Waste of time.\\
'''Lois:''' Waste of -- Let me tell you a little story, Henderson.\\
'''Henderson''': Shoot.\\
'''Lois:''' It's late at night. A sweet, innocent little old lady, probably someone's grandmother, is preparing for bed. Suddenly, burglars break in, knock her down and steal her life savings from underneath the mattress. Wanna know why?\\
'''Henderson:''' Why?\\
'''Lois:''' Because some cop like ''you'' was too lazy to dust for prints on a prior, so the burglars were never caught!\\
'''Henderson:''' Good story.\\
'''Lois:''' Thank you.\\
'''Henderson:''' Now I got one. Wanna hear it?\\
'''Lois:''' Shoot.\\
'''Henderson:''' That same "sweet, innocent, little old grandmother" is preparing for bed when she hears burglars breaking into her house. She rushes to the phone and dials 9-11... but by the time help comes, it's too late. Wanna know why?\\
'''Lois:''' Why?\\
'''Henderson:''' Because all the good cops are out somewhere else, ''[[DiscussedTrope dusting for prints.]]'' ''(stomps off)''
-->-- ''Series/LoisAndClark'', "Foundling"

->'''Rawls:''' You ''will'' reduce the UCR felonies by 5% or more, or...and I've always wanted to say this - "let no man come back alive".\\
'''Burrell:''' In addition, we will hold this year's murders to 275 or less.\\
'''Rawls:''' There is no excuse I will accept. I don't care how you do it. Just '''fuckin' do it.'''\\
'''Colvin:''' ''(wearily)'' Uh, deputy? [...] I think we all understand there are certain 'processes' by which you can reduce the number of overall felonies. You can [[GasLeakCoverup reclassify an agg assault or you can unfound a robbery]]... but, ah, how do you make a ''body'' disappear?
-->-- ''Series/TheWire''

->"The police can't help, Chuck. All the police in the world can't help."
-->-- '''Carly Beth Caldwell''', ''Series/Goosebumps1995'', episode "[[Recap/Goosebumps1995S2E11E12HauntedMaskII Haunted Mask II]]"

->'''Oscar:''' Is it illegal for kids to smoke?\\
'''Davis:''' ''[shrugs]'' What am I, a lawyer?
-->-- ''Series/CornerGas''

->"First cop down there was pretty much a prick. He came down there, and we were showing him [the skull we found] and everything, and he threw a rock at it and said, "Yeah, it's real. Now you guys have opened a big investigation." He just kept going on and on, like we did something wrong."
-->--'''Tim Lyons''', ''Series/ForensicFiles'', "Skin of her teeth"

->'''Detective Lassiter:''' Where were you the night of the last robbery?\\
'''Shawn:''' I was robbing the stereo shop. ''[Detectives Lassiter and Barry glare suspiciously at him; Shawn laughs]'' I wasn't! I wasn't. I dunno, I guess I was doing the same thing you were doing; not solving crimes.\\
''[...]''\\
'''Shawn:''' I'm actually a suspect?\\
'''Detective Lassiter:''' Oh, you're our ''lead'' suspect.\\
'''Shawn:''' I gave you the guy!\\
'''Detective Lassiter:''' He had a partner.\\
'''Shawn:''' I have to find ''that'' guy now? I'm confused; when do ''you'' start chipping in?
-->-- ''Series/{{Psych}}''

->''"They're policemen. And we all know: aye, they're solid, sterling fellows, but their ''buttons'' are the brightest things about them."''
-->-- '''Henry Gordon Jago''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS14E6TheTalonsOfWengChiang The Talons of Weng-Chiang]]"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]
->''Last night I heard the screaming\\
Loud voices behind the wall\\
Another sleepless night for me\\
It won't do no good to call\\
The police always come late\\
If they come at all''
-->--'''Music/TracyChapman''', "Behind the Wall"

->''Cops here try so hard, to look just like movie stars...\\
They couldn't catch a cold, baby don't waste your dime''
-->-- '''Music/TomWaits''', "$29:00" - ''Music/BlueValentine''.

->''GO, COPS!\\
Get the dawgs,\\
Let's go fuck with old folks!''
-->-- '''Music/RuckaRuckaAli''', "Go Cops"

->''If you're lookin' to get silly, you better go back to from where you came\\
Because the cops don't need you, and man, they expect the same''
-->-- '''Music/BobDylan''', "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues" - ''Music/Highway61Revisited''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Print Media]]
-> As nearly as I can tell, the deputy chief is in the movie for only one purpose: to be consistently wrong at every step of the way and to provide a phony counterpoint to Willis' progress. The character is so willfully useless, so dumb, so much a product of the IdiotPlot Syndrome, that all by himself he successfully undermines the last half of the movie.
-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''Film/DieHard''

->This is a pattern that will repeat itself many times during the long night. "[[CardboardPrison How are you gettin' out of here?]]" asks Sgt. Quinn... It never occurs to him to search the prisoner for the keys. [[Film/{{Fargo}} I can't say much for his police work.]]
-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''Reach the Rock'' (1998)
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theater]]
->''When the foeman bares his steel,\\
We uncomfortable feel.''
-->-- '''Sergeant of Police''', ''Theatre/ThePiratesOfPenzance''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
->''"About an hour or so back, I heard a gunshot. Naturally, I ignored it, until someone came and got me."''
-->-- '''Marshal Friedman''', ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}''

->''"The police? You're putting your faith in the police!? You guys, seriously... Do you understand what role the police exist to fill? All they're good for is being a foil, playing against a villain or anti-hero or evil organization. The bad guys come along and destroy them, and that shows just how badass they really are. Are you sure you wanna rely on such an unreliable group of losers?"''
-->-- '''Monokuma''', ''VisualNovel/DanganronpaTriggerHappyHavoc''

->''"Blake, I've had just about enough of your shit! You've been chasing this guy for what, two years, and what have you found, huh? Nothing! Abso-fucking-lutely nothing!"''
-->-- '''Norman Jayden''', ''VideoGame/HeavyRain''

->'''Passos:''' I ain't waiting to see who else shows up!\\
'''Max:''' [V.O.] I thought about saying "the cops". But this was no time for bad jokes.
-->-- ''VideoGame/MaxPayne3''

->'''Ryu''': Everyone knows the police are famous for being a bunch of cowards.\\
'''Lloyd''': What?\\
'''Ryu''': Dad's always sayin' that even though they act all high-and-mighty, they never actually help anyone. He told me that in times of need, I should always count on the bracers.
-->-- ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfHeroesTrailsFromZero'' (Geofront translation)

->''"We started this thing 'cause the police can't tell their asses from their elbows."''
-->-- '''Kanji Tatsumi''', ''VideoGame/Persona4''

->''"Our ability to help is restrained. The shrewder and more malicious the target, the less we can actually serve them justice. Held back by superiors, held back by the red tape, held back by all sorts of laws... The only thing the police do is obey orders--even when they involve [[MiscarriageOfJustice total injustice]] or [[InsaneTrollLogic an absence of human logic]]. Basically, the cops I see every day are nothing but a bunch of spineless dogs--[[HeroicSelfDeprecation and that includes when I'm lookin' in the mirror]]."''
-->-- '''Zenkichi Hasegawa''', ''VideoGame/Persona5Strikers''

->'''Chief Wiggum:''' I'm busy collecting evidence on Jailbird. We're busting him on the three strikes law.\\
'''Lisa:''' How many strikes do you have so far?\\
'''Chief Wiggum:''' Uh... no strikes. But that's only because I'm a very, very bad cop.
-->-- ''VideoGame/TheSimpsonsHitAndRun'', "Slithery Sleuthing"

->'''Lisa:''' Thanks, Chief! You ''are'' a good cop after all!\\
'''Chief Wiggum:''' Aaaahhh, you're just saying that.\\
'''Lisa:''' Yes, I am.
-->-- ''VideoGame/TheSimpsonsHitAndRun'', "Slithery Sleuthing"

->''From time to time, somebody would come looking for Joe.''\\
''The Bartender made certain they always found him.''\\
''The police would give up their search eventually.''\\
''They were running out of detectives.''
-->-- ''Strange Flesh'', Domination ending

->''"Oh, you're here on behalf of the Watch? Ha, even sending Humans to do their work is not beneath them. All they do is sit up in that tower playing drinking games and act like they own this region! I reported the fact there is clearly a Gert camp right in front of my house and they just ignored me!"''
-->-- '''Jitak''', ''VideoGame/{{Wynncraft}}''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Animation]]
->''Oddly specific trope of the day: we have to find some contrived reason for our detective protagonist to be working on this case alone and underequipped. Uhhh... I know! The lazy chief investigator declared it a suicide and moved on!''
-->-- '''Red''', '''WebAnimation/OverlySarcasticProductions''', in [[https://twitter.com/OSPyoutube/status/991355876412977152 this tweet]]

->''When I showed the officer my ID, he refused to believe a 17-year-old from North Carolina was attending a college up the street and therefore refused to believe anything else I had to say. He refused me a restraining order, he refused to even investigate. He threw my license back at me and said, "Next time, [[JustAKid leave the adult things to the adults]], OK, sweetheart? [[UsefulNotes/VictimBlaming And if you go running back to your little boyfriend, don't call us.]]" And look, I understand that might be hard to believe, but the fact is, this is what happens in these kinds of cases. Some cops are nice, some cops are helpful, and then some just don't see how fatal these situations can be.''
-->-- '''Illymation''', ''How I Left My Abusive (ex) Boyfriend''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]
->All this work is such a pain. It's like people expect the police to '''solve crimes''' or something. Nanako, get Daddy another beer.
-->-- '''[[VideoGame/Persona4 Ryotaru Dojima]]''', ''[[Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}} Persona 4 Parody comic]]''

->It's not that I don't believe you, [[PlayingWithFire if you can make fire appear out of nowhere]] I'll take the rest on faith, but I can't file a police report with the story you're giving me and be taken seriously. We can't press charges against a werewolf for starting a magical fire that caused no property damage... the justice system isn't set up to deal with your kind of problems.
-->-- '''Detective Rogers''', in a justified case, ''WebComic/DemonThesis''

->'''Reed Bahia:''' Dad helps people, right?\\
'''Mom Bahia:''' Of course, it's his job. Why do you ask?\\
'''Reed:''' Police always seem so useless in comics 'n' movies.\\
'''Mom:''' It's just because that makes things more interesting for the hero. But in real life, your dad has to do the hero's job.
-->-- ''Webcomic/KiwiBlitz''

->''"Next up is a suit for procedural malfeasance, including false arrest, dereliction of duty, excessive force, and incompetence. I like to think of it as the 'impersonating a police force' suit. It'll play well on the news."''
-->-- '''Massey''', ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
->The local sports talk station's morning show is hosted by former Chief of Police AND convicted felon Ed Norris (whose main criteria for screening calls seems to be anyone willing to say "they really screwed you/you're one of the good guys") and he and his co-host spent the better part of a month saying "let's wait until all the evidence comes out" in regards to passing judgment on Ray Rice. Unfortunately, this was the month AFTER the video of him dragging his unconscious fiancé by the hair like a caveman went viral.
-->-- '''Deadspin''', [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-baltimore-ravens-1627040424 "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Baltimore Ravens"]]

->80% of the time: An average guy on a slight power trip just doing what told to do and wasting other peoples' time. Cops are usually [[KnightTemplar trained to think that they're "better" than citizens]]. Can commonly be found writing tickets, drinking coffee, and [[DonutMessWithACop eating donuts]]. Perhaps sometimes they break up parties, pull over someone for DUI, or something similar. Not very adept at thinking, though.
-->-- '''Website/UrbanDictionary'''

->We '''''know''''' who did it! It's the guy who's unconscious and immobilized at the scene of the crime, where the stolen goods are nowhere to be seen! God, I '''''love''''' being a cop! It's so '''''easy!'''''"
-->-- '''''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''''' [[http://joshreads.com/?p=1775 on]] ''ComicStrip/TheAmazingSpiderMan''

->''"[[ArbitrarySkepticism As slow as people are to accept that they're dealing with the supernatural]], cops are always the last ones to catch on. They can watch The Blob dissolve through a kindergarten and suggest out loud that they must have drank too much this morning. No matter what, a cop in a science fiction movie uses drugs as the explanation for everything. Did a dead body get up and eat the coroner? 'PCP.' Did a viking frost giant knock down a skyscraper? 'Stack of PCP abusers.' Did {{Film/Star Man}} bring a dead deer back to life? 'That's just what gay sex looks like when you see it for the first time.'"''
-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-great-occupations-for-horribly-stupid-people/ "7 Great Occupations For Horribly Stupid People"]]

->''"After six sequels, the ''Franchise/{{Saw}}'' plot only makes sense if you assume everyone in the world is a psychotic invalid. And since a lot of them went to see ''Saw'' seven times, [[TakeThat the assumption is pretty accurate]]."''
-->-- '''Luke [=McKinney=]''', ''Website/{{Cracked}}''

->''"'''Chief Sterns makes absolutely no sense.''' Is he on the take? Is that why he wants to shut down April’s investigation? Is he being threatened by the Foot? Or is he just that much of a dick that he bribes her boss with [[IHaveYourWife keeping his son in jail]] so that she’ll get fired for asking him questions? Which is, you know, her job."''
-->-- '''Chris Sims''' and '''Matt Wilson''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-1990-pa// on]] ''Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1990''

->''"In the '70s and '80s, when comic books and their readers '[[MediaNotes/TheModernAgeOfComicBooks grew up]]', readers began to question why Gotham's police force were so damn ineffectual in dealing with the master criminals who murder people, and blow up buildings, and shrink things with ray guns on a monthly basis. Some writers, most notably Creator/FrankMiller, asserted that the GCPD was a corrupt institution... In the [[Creator/JoelSchumacher Schumacher]]-verse, however, it's entirely possible that Commissioner Gordon and his whole staff are shit-thick, incompetent, useless pencil-pushers who couldn't find their dicks with two hands and a map."''
-->-- '''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Batman_Forever_1995.aspx?Page=3 on]] ''Film/BatmanForever''

->Blue beats up a cop, escapes from custody, and takes Michael by gunpoint. People don’t hear from Michael and they list him as a missing person. The cop interviews his wife and asks 'Does he have any mental problems? Any excuse why he would run away?' [[FailedASpotCheck ASSHOLES, AN ESCAPED CONVICT KIDNAPPED HIM!]] This was not done in some vacuum here? The cop personally witnessed Blue kidnap Michael at gunpoint! In fact, you have dozens of eyewitnesses because the kidnapping happened in public. What the hell is the matter with you people!?
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/02/01/the-sunchaser-1996-michael-cimino/ on]] ''The Sunchaser'' (1996)

->I find it very funny that the writers could go down the route of painting Tooms as an innocent victim, and watching the {{kangaroo court}} playing out which puts him in the best possible light (with Mulder the [[CassandraTruth raving dissenter]]) makes you believe that the American legal system ''wants'' more serial killers out on the streets! Tooms longing for his defence attorney’s liver whilst he is trying to get him off the hook made me howl with laughter…you always bite the hand that feeds you!
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/x-files-season-one.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/TheXFiles'', "Tooms"

->'''Jailbird good guys:'''\\\
'''Clark:''' Desiree [[{{Frameup}} frames him]] for blowing up her car in Heat, 2x02; he beats three goons severely to protect Lana, and [[LawfulStupid the sheriff carts him off]], 2x19; In Lionel's body, [[PrisonRiot starts a jailhouse rock]] and barely makes it out alive, 4x06; arrested by stereotypical chinese soldiers for interrogation for no real reason, 4x15; arrested [[NotWhatItLooksLike in a strip club]], 5x06; framed for the murder of a suspect while posing as a cop, 8x12; Almost arrested for the murder of Lex, which he had nothing to do with, 8x15\\\
'''Lex''': Accused of nine murders in the undead project Lionel headed up by a snotty detective who hates the FBI, 3x16; Jailed for a murder he didn't commit, got bail quickly, 4x09 (Not shown in show); arrested by stereotypical chinese soldiers for interrogation for no real reason, 4x15; In the season six finale (6x22), Lex is also arrested for murdering Lana Lang with no trail of evidence and/or body; Arrested for the murder of Lana Lang, which he did not commit, 7x01\\\
'''Lana''': 4x15 Aided and abetted in the theft of a Mustang because Seth made her do it. [[TheScrappy A likely excuse!]]
-->--'''Neal Bailey''', "The ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville-knockout K.O. Count"]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Videos]]
->There you can see [[BlatantLies Santa Monica's finest police officers]], doing what they do best- standing aroud doing nothing at all and just sort of hoping the crime solves itself!
-->--'''Marik Ishtar''', ''WebVideo/MarikPlaysBloodlines''

->[[Franchise/LawAndOrder Fred Thompson]], shut yer trap! SHUT UP! Let her go look for her baby! She'd probably have found it by now. You haven't gotten '''shit''' done!
-->--'''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]''' on ''Film/BabysDayOut''

->'''''HOLY SHIT''''', the police ''do'' exist! Their response time to a 911 call is about ''[[TheCavalryArrivesLate a month]]'' in this city, but it's about time!
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''Massacre at Central High''[='s=] ending

->The ladies first try to get the sheriff to do something about the kidnapping, but the bad guys could of driven past just now throwing severed limbs over the side of their jeep and he wouldn't of issued tickets for littering.
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment''' reviewing "Lethal Games"

->Great, it's the 'Cop at the Door' scene. Which is totally never in any of these home invasion movies.
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob''', ''Mother's Day'' (2010)

->Know why these guys are trying to rescue the owner? Because the CIA and the FBI apparently they suck! LOOK AT THE PLOT! [=I'M=] NOT KIDDING!
-->-- '''WebVideo/PlayItBogart''', ''[[http://revver.com/video/881622/rollergames-nes-review/ Rollergames]]''

->I wish real cops were this passive.
-->-- '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVv9Q9WZleM Lord Corinth]]'''

->I have ''never'' seen a worse cop on the server, and Cooper was the previous one, Joko. That's just sad.
-->-- '''Pokay''', ''WebVideo/SMPLive''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
->'''Sheriff Blubs:''' Hold on a minute, do you have a permit for those [fireworks]?\\
'''[[CoolOldGuy Grunkle Stan]]:''' Uh, do you have a permit for being totally lame?\\
'''Sheriff Blubs:''' Well I can't argue with that. Carry on.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'', "[[Recap/GravityFallsS2E11NotWhatHeSeems Not What He Seems]]"

->''"Whadda we have here, the long flabby arm of the law? The last case you got to the bottom of was [[DonutMessWithACop a case of Mallomars]]!"''
-->--- A [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness hopping-mad]] '''Ned Flanders''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS8E8HurricaneNeddy Hurricane Neddy]]"

->'''Chief Wiggum:''' I'm afraid there's nothing I can do.\\
'''Apu:''' The zookeeper paid you off, didn't he?!\\
'''Wiggum:''' Paid me off? What are you, crazy? (''[[NotHelpingYourCase reaches by desk for a big bag of "elephant grade" peanuts]]'')\\
'''Manjula:''' So we'll never see our children again?\\
'''Wiggum:''' Well, they might give Dazzle back. The buzz is she's got one more show to turn it around.\\
'''Apu:''' Well, if the police won't help us, we'll simply have to take the law into our own hands.\\
'''Wiggum:''' Yeah, yeah! A lot of people are doing that these days.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS11E7EightMisbehavin Eight Misbehavin']]"

->''"Due to budget cuts, we only have the resources to enforce the ''last'' law passed. It's not the best system, in fact, it's pretty much the worst system. ''(looks at Snake randomly shooting passersby from the roof of the Kwik-E-Mart)'' Yeah, we'd have been all over that in the old days."''
-->-- '''Chief Wiggum''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS17E21TheMonkeySuit The Monkey Suit]]"

->''"We put him in prison ''twice''! I'm losing faith in the legal system."''
-->-- '''[[BadFuture Old Bennett]]''', ''WesternAnimation/SavingMe'', "[[Recap/SavingMeS1E10 Rebel With a Cause]]"

->See, we've got an open door policy here now. We just ask that you keep it closed out of respect for my authority.
-->-- '''Sheriff''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Squidbillies}}''

->Okay, Officer Barbrady, let's pretend our town had a competent police force. What would they do?
-->-- '''Mayor [=McDaniels=]''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''

->'''Deputy Gerda:''' And you didn't think to go to the appropriate authorities?\\
'''Frieda:''' Honestly, the authorities aren't that helpful most of the time.\\
'''Deputy Gerda:''' '''' …Point taken.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Hilda}}'', "[[Recap/HildaS2E13 The Stone Forest]]"
[[/folder]]
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