->''"About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by\\
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye\\
'See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built\\
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.'"''
-->-- '''Bryan Bowers''', ''The Scotsman''

->''"I just cam' doon frae the Isle of Skye\\
I'm no' very big and I'm awful shy\\
The lassies shout as I go by,\\
'Donald, where's yer troosers?'"''
-->-- '''Andy Stewart''', ''Donald Where's Your Troosers''

->''"What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? On a good day, lipstick."''

->''"A lot of people ask me 'Is anything worn under your kilt?'. I say 'No, nothing's worn. Everything's in fine, working order.'."''
-->-- '''Mike Myers''', at the AFI Lifetime Achievement award ceremony for SeanConnery

->'''Commander Badass:''' What, a kilt? It's th' manliest way t' be pantsless.
->'''Jared:''' I always thought the manliest way to be pantsless was watching football on your couch in your underwear.
->'''Commander Badass:''' See, now yer assumin' that I wear underwear.
-->-- ''ManlyGuysDoingManlyThings''

->''Now, the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury.''
-->--'''Groundskeeper Willie''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

->''"Think how frightening it would be to have such a man charging at you, with his skirts flying in the air, flashing his great big bayonet at you!"''
-->-- ''[[Franchise/CarryOn Carry On Up the Khyber]]''