-> '''[[ZombieInfectee Church Guy]]:''' ''"Who's there?"''\\
'''Francis:''' ''"Let's see, I'm Francis, and that's grandpa Bill, and '''there's zombies out here, open the goddamn door!'''"''

-> '''Bill:''' ''"We've been immune so far, but, well, if I start to turn, promise you'll shoot me."''\\
'''Francis:''' ''"What if just your beard starts to turn, can I shoot that?"''\\
'''Bill:''' ''"Don't be an ass, Francis."''

-> '''Zoey:''' ''"Hey Francis, your latest issue of 'Hating Everything' magazine is here."''\\
'''Francis:''' ''"I hate latest issues."''

-> '''Louis''': ''"We made it... I can't believe we made it!"''\\
'''Bill''': ''"Son, we just crossed the street. Let's not throw a party 'til we're out of the city."''

-> '''Louis''': ''"We're gonna find that sailboat right around the corner, you just watch!"''\\
'''Francis''': ''"Louis, if you don't stop being positive, I'm gonna sink the boat just to make you sad!"''

-> '''Francis''': ''"I hate helicopters. I hate hospitals. And doctors and lawyers and cops..."''\\
'''Bill''': ''"Francis, is there anything you don't hate?"''\\
'''Francis''': ''"You know what I don't hate? I don't hate vests."''

->'''Bill''': ''"I'll see peace back on earth if I gotta murder every one of these bastards with my bare goddamn hands."''

-> '''Coach:''' "Report unusual behavior. Barricade your homes. Avoid all contact with infected individuals. Wait for official instructions." Wait, my ass.\\
'''Ellis:''' ([[DramaticGunCock Cocks shotgun]]) Kill all sons-a-bitches, that's my 'ficial instructions.
-->--Intro Cutscene

-> '''Coach:''' Who the hell... puts an evac station... up thirty flights of goddamn stairs?\\
'''Nick:''' Come on, Coach. Maybe the helicopter... maybe it's made of chocolate.
-->--Intro Cutscene

-> This used to be a ''nice neighborhood!''
-->--'''Coach''', Intro Cutscene

-> I have ''not''... come this far... to die now.
-->--'''Nick''', Intro Cutscene[=/=]Near-Death dialogue

-> Okay, we'll set off the pyrotechnics, but I'm telling you right now. I AM NOT GOING TO AIR GUITAR.
-->--'''Nick''', ''Dark Carnival'' Finale

-> '''Nick''': So, how are we going to signal Virgil?\\
'''Ellis''': Oh, there's flares in the gun bag.\\
'''Nick''': What gun bag?\\
'''Ellis''': You didn't grab the guns?\\
'''Nick''': ''Me?!'' Who died and made ''me'' gun monitor?!\\
'''Ellis''': [[DeadpanSnarker Pretty much everybody.]]\\
'''Coach:''' Look here, [[TemptingFate the gas station's right across the street. We coulda already been there and back by now.]] Come on.
-->--''Hard Rain'' Intro

->'''Coach:''' Hello?\\
'''Military:''' Rescue 7, that's coming from the bridge! Bridge, identify yourself.\\
'''Coach:''' Hey! There's four of us on the bridge!\\
'''Military:''' Bridge, are you immune?\\
'''Coach:''' We are not infected.\\
'''Military:''' Negative Bridge. Are you ''immune?'' Have you encountered the infected?\\
'''Coach:''' ''[indignant]'' "Encountered"?! Boy, I am covered in zombie blood and puke, and eyeballs, and ''twenty'' other parts I don't even recognize. We are ''immune as SHIT!''
-->--''The Parish'' Finale