->''"Action Jesus! Manger sold separately."''
--> '''Crow T. Robot''' ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' "Santa Claus"

->''"Wachowski brothers fans have noted the deliberate parallels between the messianic Neo and the Biblical story of the moneychangers in the temple, in which Christ pulled out a Beretta and killed about 50 security guards."''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''' on ''Film/TheMatrix''

->''"Kung-Fu Action Jesus! He's fighting the bad guys and making them pay, with Magic Kung Fu, he'll save the day! It's Kung Fu Action Jesus!"
--> ''WebVideo/AvatarTheAbridgedSeries''

->''"Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 B.C. 4.0 Beta, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]]"''
-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'''

->''"I have conquered the world."''
-->--'''John, 16:33'''

->[Being held up by two Iraqi soldiers]
->"''My children, you should know something.''
->'''''...I'm packing.'''''"
-->Jesus, in the episode ''Red Sleigh Down,'' WesternAnimation/SouthPark

-> "This summer, let he who is without sin...''kick the first ass''."
-->--WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy

-> SUPER JESUS: Where is your Satan now!?"
-->--FauxtivationalPoster using the page pic.

-> "Jesus Christ... Superstar... [[BadassBiker burning 'round the corner on a Yamaha]]"
-->-- Parody of ''JesusChristSuperstar''

-> [[ThisLoserIsYou You can't do what Jesus can do (Jesus shits all over you)]]
-> There are three of him, and there's only one of you (and Jesus can [[{{Flight}} fly]])
-> He can cure a blind man, you can't cure the flu
-> He's a [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot zombie wizard, who also knows kung fu]]
-->-- '''[[Music/TheAxisOfAwesome The Axis Of Awesome]]''', ''What Would Jesus Do''

-> ''Jesus is coming, and he is pissed!''
-->-- Bill Robinson, Stephen King's ''Maximum Overdrive''

-->"''Imagine if Jesus knew kung-fu; that's what everybody is dealing with.''"
-->-- '''John Morrison''', ''ECW on Sci-Fi''

-> [Fred Dryer] was TV's Hunter?! That's like finding out Jesus knew karate! Imagine that, Stan, karate Jesus!
-->-- '''[[CloudCuckooLander Xander Crews]]''', ''FriskyDingo''

->''"Alright, motherfuckers. In times like this, religion is often forgotten, so I'm gonna remind you of how awesome Jesus is. First off, his [[PowerLevel power level]] is fucking 9,001. THAT IS [[MemeticMutation OVER 9 THOUSAND]]! Show some respect for that. He'd kick all your asses. Second, he dares to have a Mexican name despite the fact that he is not Mexican. Only the greats do that. Third, he could conjure water and self-rez when his [[PartyWipe group wiped]] for the fifth fucking time that night so no one had to run back. That's a fucking time-saver right there! And finally, he is a great supporter of cannibalism. So much so that he actually ENCOURAGES people to eat his flesh and drink his blood. Any questions?"''
->--taken from a GaiaOnline roleplay post
----