->''"Action Jesus! Manger sold separately."''
-->-- '''Crow T. Robot''', ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' "Santa Claus"

->''"Wachowski brothers fans have noted the deliberate parallels between the messianic Neo and the Biblical story of the moneychangers in the temple, in which Christ pulled out a Beretta and killed about 50 security guards."''
-->--''{{Website/Cracked}}'' on ''Film/TheMatrix''

->''"Kung-Fu Action Jesus! He's fighting the bad guys and making them pay, with Magic Kung Fu, he'll save the day! It's Kung Fu Action Jesus!"''
-->-- ''WebVideo/AvatarTheAbridgedSeries''

->''"Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 B.C. 4.0 Beta, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]]"''
-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'''

->''"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! '''I have overcome the world'''."''
-->--'''Jesus''', ''Literature/TheBible'', John, 16:33 (NIV)

->''"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword."''
-->--'''Jesus''', ''Literature/TheBible'', Matthew, 10:34 (NIV)

->[Being held up by two Iraqi soldiers]\\
"''My children, you should know something.''\\
'''''...I'm packing.'''''"
-->--'''Jesus''', in the episode ''Red Sleigh Down,'' WesternAnimation/SouthPark

-> ''"This summer, let he who is without sin...''kick the first ass''."''
-->--''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

-> ''SUPER JESUS: Where is your Satan now!?"''
-->--FauxtivationalPoster using the page pic.

-> ''"Jesus Christ... Superstar... [[BadassBiker burning 'round the corner on a Yamaha]]"''
-->-- Parody of ''Theatre/JesusChristSuperstar''

-> ''You can't do what Jesus can do (Jesus shits all over you)\\
There are three of him, and there's only one of you (and Jesus can fly)\\
He can cure a blind man, you can't cure the flu\\
He's a zombie wizard, who also knows kung fu''
-->-- '''Music/TheAxisOfAwesome''', "What Would Jesus Do"

-> ''Jesus is coming, and he is pissed!''
-->-- '''Bill Robinson''', Stephen King's ''Film/MaximumOverdrive''

->"''Imagine if Jesus knew kung-fu; that's what everybody is dealing with.''"
-->-- '''John Morrison''', ''ECW on Sci-Fi''

-> ''[Fred Dryer] was TV's Hunter?! That's like finding out Jesus knew karate! Imagine that, Stan, karate Jesus!''
-->-- '''[[CloudCuckooLander Xander Crews]]''', ''WesternAnimation/FriskyDingo''

->''"Alright, motherfuckers. In times like this, religion is often forgotten, so I'm gonna remind you of how awesome Jesus is. First off, his [[PowerLevel power level]] is fucking 9,001. THAT IS [[MemeticMutation OVER 9 THOUSAND]]! Show some respect for that. He'd kick all your asses. Second, he dares to have a Mexican name despite the fact that he is not Mexican. Only the greats do that. Third, he could conjure water and self-rez when his [[PartyWipe group wiped]] for the fifth fucking time that night so no one had to run back. That's a fucking time-saver right there! And finally, he is a great supporter of cannibalism. So much so that he actually ENCOURAGES people to eat his flesh and drink his blood. Any questions?"''
-->--taken from a Website/GaiaOnline roleplay post
----