->''Letter upon his jacket, medal around his neck,\\
Pin on his chest, and mind on his rep,\\
He only dates models, drinks his soda from the bottle, \\
When he walks, he waddles, and he ain't never lost a squabble.\\
He put you in a locker and took your girlfriend to prom,\\
He's in your life every day and you can't wait 'til he's gone\\
But 'daddy' owns a business, so it won't be long\\
Before he inherits it, makes carats and sings a rich man's song.''
-->-- '''Eyedea''', "Big Shot"
->''The first story is about these jocks who are totally evil, because all jocks in movies are evil. When you see a guy in a football uniform in a movie, that's just like seeing dudes dressed as Nazis. It's a cinematic shortcut.''
-->-- '''Mr. Satanism''', reviewing ''Campfire Stories''