->...with tongue firmly in cheek, she [Stephanie Beacham] would often wind me up by asking what her motivation was for a particular action, just as I about to call Action!, knowing full well that my answer would be, Because its in the script.
-->-- Norman J. Warren''', director of ''Inseminoid''
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[[folder:Film -- Animated]]

->Did you all take stupid pills this morning?
-->-- '''Mr. Potatohead''', ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory''

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[[folder:Literature]]

->''How mortals take the gods to task!\\
All their afflictions come from us, we hear\\
And what of their own failings? Greed and Folly\\
double the suffering in the lot of man.''
-->-- '''Zeus''', in '''Literature/TheOdyssey''', pointing out how the story of the Trojan War and its aftereffects often amounts to this.

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[[folder:Newspapers]]

->Why don't they think? Because no one is allowed to think in this movie. Not one single event in the entire plot can possibly take place unless every character in the cast has brains made of Bac-O-Bits.
-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''', review of ''Film/Jungle2Jungle''

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[[folder:Web Animation]]

->It's like every character put their retard hats on that morning by mistake.
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/MetroidOtherM''

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[[folder:Web Original]]

->Not a single characterís master plan in this movie makes sense. Donít even get me started on Penguinís grand babynapping plan, which required A) every single adult in Gotham to be at the same party (which they were), B) [[AdultsAreUseless not a single babysitter being hired]], and C) [[PoliceAreUseless not a single cop being out on patrol]], allowing them to drive their roadworthy carnival train on the open streets.
-->--'''''[=ComicsAlliance=]''''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/batman-returns-review/ on]] ''Film/BatmanReturns''

->''Film/ChernobylDiaries'': It should have been called ''Six Dumbasses In Search of a Clue''
-->-- '''''Slate''''' headline

->'''Data:''' The transporters conveniently failed after sending Picard, so I'm going to leap across space to get to Shinzon's ship.\\
'''Geordi:''' What about the transporters in the shuttles?\\
'''Data:''' Shut up.\\
'''Geordi:''' What about [[Film/StarTrekInsurrection the Captain's Yacht?]]\\
'''Data:''' Shut up.\\
'''Geordi:''' Why didn't we [[WhyDontYaJustShootHim just send a bomb instead of Picard?]]\\
'''Data:''' Shut up.\\
'''Geordi:''' What about the transporters in the cargo bays? They're independent units, remember?\\
'''Data:''' What part of "shut the fuck up" do you not understand? This is [[DyingMomentOfAwesome my big heroic exit]], asshole. Don't fuck it up.
-->--[[http://www.stardestroyer.net/Nemesis/Pictorial-4.html Adam Wong]] on ''Film/StarTrekNemesis''

->Of course, the low casualty rate on ''Enterprise'' might be more plausible if the plots [[LeeroyJenkins didnít hinge on the crew behaving like over-eager amateurs.]] Had Archer been more cautious or professional during these missions, the lack of a bodycount would make sense. Unfortunately, many of the early episodes of ''Enterprise'' rely on the crew behaving like fools in order to generate plot Ė Archer makes a decision that puts the crew in an risky position. "Fight or Flight" is an example, with Archerís heroic conduct nearly getting the ship killed. Here, he strands a team on a strange planet.\\\
The way that Archer the crew manage to consistently escape without any trouble (or any cost) becomes frustration, as does [[AesopAmnesia their refusal to learn from any of the experiences]]. In Strange New World, TíPol [[OnlySaneMan repeatedly cautions the crew about the need to properly survey the planet]] before sending down a team. Her cautious approach is vindicated when it turns out that local planet life creates spores that drive the crew into a paranoid frenzy. Had Archer listened to her and done the proper investigation, the risk could have been avoided. However, Strange New World doesnít give us a scene where Archer and Trip apologise to TíPol for disregarding her advice out of hand.
-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2015/01/05/star-trek-enterprise-strange-new-world-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise'', "Strange New World"

->Sadly, you read that right. I transcribed that line 100% correctly. '''[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer A dog peeing on a tree]]''' is now a significant plot point in a ''Star Trek'' episode...Prior to watching Archer's reaction, I started to imagine how other ''Star Trek'' captains would handle this situation. But then I realized that no other ''Star Trek'' captain would be in this situation in the first place.\\\
Can you imagine, say, [[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration Jean-Luc Picard]] bringing his dog down to an alien planet? Yeah, I didn't think so. But even if he did, and that dog whizzed on cultural landmarks, I can only see Picard being swiftly contrite and apologetic, immediately making amends to get [[{{MacGuffin}} that needed component]]. Hell, I think Wesley Crusher [[http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Justice_%28episode%29 whizzed on some bushes]] in the first season of TNG, and Picard groveled his ass off to save the kid.\\\
But Archer, as you probably guessed, is about to have [[ThisMeansWAR a slightly different reaction]]...I rarely get pissed off when I recap stuff, because deep down, I really love the awful stuff that I recap. But this episode is something quite different. It's not terrible in the way most of the movies featured on this website are terrible, in that the filmmakers didn't know what they were doing, and just stumbled into making a horrible movie as a result of their own incompetence. It's [[Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg terrible in that Epic Movie kind of way]], where it seems everybody knew better, but the writers just hated the characters, hated themselves, hated their jobs, and most of all hated '''you''' for wanting to watch the shit they write.
-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise'', "A Night in Sickbay"

->Creator/TomHanks and Peter Scolari's woman costumes were about as believable as two men in wigs making no effort to disguise their voices. They lived in a world where everyone was so easy to trick, there was no need for the [[ZanyScheme elaborate scheme]]. They might as well have put a jar of mayonnaise on roller skates and shoved it into the manager's office shouting, "That's not male mayonnaise! Rent her an apartment! Actually, RARGH! I'm God! Rent an apartment to Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari!
-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''' on ''Series/BosomBuddies''

->We last left our [[DesignatedHero alleged heroes]] at Hawkmanís funeral, where they were all [[InstantSedation knocked out by technology]]... This brings up an interesting point, and by 'interesting,' I mean 'one of many plot holes that makes me wonder if the scripts for this show are actually printed on Swiss cheese.' If [[CapeBusters the government already has something that can knock out a Kryptonian]] ó not to mention the Flash and Aquaman and whoever else the extras were dressed as at Hawkmanís funeral ó then why do they need to develop '''more''' methods for rendering them helpless? '''They already have them!''' What weíre getting here is that this episode is already stupid before it even starts. ''Thatís how dumb it is.''
-->--'''Chris Sims''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-10-12-collateral/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Collateral")

->Two weeks ago, Clark punched Lex. One week ago, Lex tortured his friend nearly to death and [[KickTheDog killed all the fish in the lake.]] Now, they're hunky-dory again, with one line.''\\\
'Lex, I know [[{{Understatement}} things haven't been easy between us lately]], but please, help!'\\\
''Lex doesn't say'', 'Uh, you beat the crap out of me a little while back, you're researching a book that's being written to tear my company down, and now you're accusing me of [[ARareSentence creating a vampire sorority.]]'\\\
''He simply says'', 'Oh, hey Clark. Here's [[DeusExMachina the ready-made antidote I haven't been using for a long time for no apparent reason]]. Just stab it into her chest and she'll be fine. By the way, [[KryptoniteIsEverywhere it only works around Kryptonite]]. Convenient, huh?'\\\
''Clark, clutching at the table. ''[='=]Excuse me...must have...drank...Lex-lax...er...ex-lax.[='=]''\\\
Lex: ''[='=]You're a Kryptonian, aren't you?[='=]''\\\
Clark: ''[='=]Oh, no! Seriously...[[IHaveToIronMyDog just some bad...picadillo, hombre. I gotta, er]]...YOINK![='=]''\\\
He then takes the syringe and runs. Now that, at very least, would have been entertaining.
-->--'''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville5-ep05 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Thirst")

->Reading a story '''written''' by idiots is bad enough, but reading a story written by idiots thatís also '''about''' idiots is even worse.
-->-- '''[[http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2011/09/07/tf-post-rapture-economics/ Fred Clark]]''', criticizing ''LeftBehind''

->''"When it comes to plotting, this is [[Creator/StevenMoffat Moffatís]] go-to. UNIT knows how dangerous [[spoiler: the Master]] is. Why would they not knock Missy out with the same kind of drug they used on the Doctor? Why, when the plane starts going down, does everybody not get in the TARDIS? Why do the guards do nothing as Missy first very visibly activates her bracelet, then puts on lipstick? Why does Osgood, whoís already told the Doctor they have dossiers on [[spoiler: the Master]] and who has clearly read them, a) get so close to Missy and b) not scarper when Missy threatens her? Why? Also, WHY?"''
-->-- [[http://www.androzani.com/darkwater.shtml Androzani Reviews]] on ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Death in Heaven"

->The plot is bad just because any amount of common sense cop work would solve this case. There is one scene where Dave is framed for murder. Dave is shot at in the dark and Dave fires blindly in that same direction. When he goes over to investigate, he finds the body of an informant he was going to meet thereby framing him for murder. Of course that becomes a plot cul de sac when the cops get it through their thick skulls that the bullets from Daveís gun donít match the one in the victimís head and, oh yeah, the victim was dead about 32 hours prior to Daveís incident! We are not talking ''CSI'' future crime lab work, we are talking about common f*cking sense! [[{{Padding}} Thatís 20 minutes wasted]] and that is just one example of the type of writing throughout the entire movie.
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/05/31/in-the-electric-mist-bertrand-tavernier-2009/ on]] ''InTheElectricMist'' (2009)

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Video]]

->We wouldn't even have a movie if you'd just stayed at home, played some Nintendo and let the poor bastard drink himself to death in two years. But ''nooooo'', you had to go to Earth and shake his fuckin' tree. Now you done pissed him off, and yeah, now he wants to kill ya. Exiling the guy from Zeist was ''[[{{Unishment}} the nicest possible thing you coulda done]]'' to the guy, and literally the only reason he wants to kill you now if because you fucked up his retirement! THIS FUCKING MOVIE IS-- ([[CoversAlwaysLie reads box tagline]]) ''"Highlander 2: The Quickening is the smartest sci-fi thriller since Film/BladeRunner."''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''{{Franchise/Highlander}} 2: The Quckening''

->''That's'' their ship? A little shuttle?? Admirals always travel around in style on big Federation ships (At the very least an ''Excelsior'' class)!\\\
But this situation requires ''even more'' attention, because we're dealing with [[{{Unobtainium}} a truly priceless advancement in technology]]. And we're also working with [[ObviouslyEvil a really sketchy alien race that look like monsters.]] ''And'' they've got five huge, powerful warships. What's to stop them from just killing all the Federation people, takin' the goods and leaving? A couple of ships on ''our'' side would strengthen our hand a little in preventing that.\\\
But a starship or two there [[TheMainCharactersDoEverything would mess up the plot]]... Does anybody even think about the details of a movie before they make it?
-->--'''''WebVideo/RedLetterMedia''''' on ''Film/StarTrekInsurrection''

->It's clear here that everyone in the future, including Skynet, is dumb.
-->--'''{{WebVideo/MikeJ}}''' on ''Film/TerminatorSalvation''

->'''Mike:''' Neither character is smart. No one says, "Isn't he gonna be weirded out or suspicious that you just gave him all this gold in ''bar form?''" (And he didn't think of that.) And then when John Travolta sees it, he assumes that they ''smelted'' it, even though they have no smelting equipment or any kind--\\
'''Jay:''' These are cavemen. They have no knowledge.\\
'''Mike:''' --And no one knows how to ''do'' that. Or to achieve the temperatures needed to melt gold. Both characters--our hero and villain--are idiots.
-->--''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'' on ''Film/BattlefieldEarth''

->Goodnight, the stupid is spewing out of these characters like its Mt. Vesuvius!
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TvTrash Rowdy C. Moore]]''' on the plot of the ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'' episode, "Turnabout Intruder"

[[/folder]]
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