-> ''"I used to write pornography when I was younger. It wasn't terribly erotic, but it was ''detailed''..."''
-->--'''[[StandUpComedy Simon Evans]]'''

-> ''"Quite. After all, sex is just a couple of electrified water bags wobbling on each other repeatedly and then squirting amino-acids about."''
-->-- '''Webcomic/{{xkcd}} forums'''

->''"Rendered in a labyrinthine and frequently unintelligible grammar, the truly awful query is often notable for its length, its torrid verbosity, and the mechanical specificity of its sex scenes, which tend to read like appliance-repair manuals in their exhaustive and emotionless depictions of moving parts. "''
-->-- '''[[http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/a-good-author-is-hard-to-find/Content?oid=2820559 The Rejectionist]]'''

->[[MemeticMutation ''1) Put [=pOnOs=] (A) to [=vagOOO=] (B).'']]\\
''2) JAM IT IN!''\\
''3) ????''\\
''4) [[MissingStepsPlan PROFIT!]]''
-->-- from a ''[[VisualNovel/FateStayNight Fate/stay night]]'' parody comic

->''"Oh, Gwen! Your labia feels so good around my swollen phallus! Oh, I'm fairly confident I'm going to ejaculate. I'm releasing some of my seminal fluids inside of you now!"''
-->-- '''Richard Bagg''', ''VanWilder''

->''"He put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time."''
-->-- '''Ebony''', ''MyImmortal''.

->''"He whisked off her shoes and panties in one movement, wild like an enraged shark, his bulky totem beating a seductive rhythm. Mary's body felt like it was burning, even though the room was properly air-conditioned. They tried all the positions: on top, doggy, and normal. Exhausted, they collapsed on to the recently extended sofa bed. [[DiabolusExMachina Then a hellbeast ate them.]]"''
-->-- '''Garth Merengi''', ''Series/GarthMarenghisDarkplace''
----