%%NOTE TO EDITORS: Due to an overwhelming amount of page content, please refrain from clogging the page with unnecessary quotes: If it's from a generic comment on a youtube video or a forum, or isn't from someone notably famous, please leave it off this page.
%%Additionally, if you need to explain why the quote involves HypocriticalHumor, or if the quote is longer than a couple of sentences, it should be written as an example on a main page.
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
->''"I have no need for filthy language."''\\
(later)\\
''"STAY THE [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]] OUT OF THIS!''"
-->-- '''Roberta''', ''Manga/BlackLagoon''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]
->''"And look who it is... Sonic, Princess Sally, and that overweight walrus! Tsk! Tsk! How can anyone let himself get so '''obese'''?"''
-->-- '''Dr. Ivo Robotnik''', ''ComicBook/SonicTheHedgehogArchieComics'' issue #3

->'''ComicBook/LoisLane:''' You did '''what'''? What '''ever''' possessed you to '''throw yourself out a window''' to get someone's '''attention'''?\\
'''[[ComicBook/{{Superman}} Clark Kent]]:''' The memory of you asking '''me''' that with a straight face will last a '''lifetime'''.
-->-- ''ComicBook/FiftyTwo''

->''"What would a girl who comes from another planet in a faraway galaxy know about — Oh. Says me, the girl from another planet in a far... Huh."''
-->-- '''ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}''', ''ComicBook/GirlPower''

->'''ComicBook/{{Wolverine}}:''' [[EnemyMine Never thought I would see you guys throw in]] with a guy like [[ComicBook/DoctorDoom Doom]].\\
'''ComicBook/TheThing:''' Oh yeah? Was that ComicBook/{{Magneto}} I saw [[HeelFaceTurn sitting at the conference table?]]\\
'''Wolverine:''' Okay, well, if you want to get technical...
-->-- ''ComicBook/XMen''

->''"Remember! Football develops initiative, leadership, and individuality! Now go out there and do exactly as I told you!"''
-->-- '''Archie Andrews''', coaching a girls' football team in ''[[ComicBook/ArchieComics Archie]]'', October 12, 1946

->''"Gentlemen, if there's one thing I hate more than the Chinese, it's racism."''
-->-- '''General Samuel Surrender''', ''ComicBook/AchilleTalon''.

->'''Beast Boy:''' What is this? Your secret headquarters? We're retreating inside a building shaped like a giant '''initial'''. No, sir. They'll '''never''' look for us '''here'''.\\
'''Star Boy:''' I see. And what sort of headquarters do '''you''' have?\\
'''Beast Boy:''' Like I said, nice place.
-->-- ''ComicBook/TeenTitans''/''ComicBook/{{Legion|OfSuperHeroes}}''

->'''Obelix:''' O chief Vitalstatistix, the Normans are landing! And they've got ever such funny names! [[ThemeNaming They all end in "af"!]]\\
'''Asterix:''' That's right! Their chief is called Timandahaf!\\
'''Vitalstatistix:''' Ha, ha, ha! Did you hear that, Getafix, Cacofonix, Operatix, Acoustix, Polyfonix, Harmonix?
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Asterix}}'', ''Recap/AsterixAndTheNormans''

->'''Jimmy Olsen:''' "You're welcome, chief. [...]"\\
'''Perry White:''' "You're lucky I'm in a good mood, Olsen. I've told you a million times-- Don't call me chief!"\\
'''Jimmy Olsen:''' "Don't worry, chief-- I'll never do it again!"
-->-- ''ComicBook/LetMyPeopleGrow''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Strips]]
->'''Rat:''' I'm thinking about pushing you off a tall cliff and filming what happens.\\
'''Pig:''' What for?\\
'''Rat:''' 'Cause then I can get on one of those 'shocking video' shows and be famous.\\
'''Pig:''' But I could get hurt.\\
'''Rat:''' There's no 'I' in 'team'.
-->-- ''ComicStrip/PearlsBeforeSwine''

->'''Calvin:''' Bugs get on my nerves! The dizzy way they zip around, the high-pitched buzzing noise they make, their pesky size... everything about them is annoying!\\
'''Hobbes:''' [[LampshadeHanging ...said the hyperactive, whiny, small child]].
-->-- ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Works]]
->It wasn't long before they finished, Jonathan now sipping at his tea calmly, "This tastes incredible too! What flavor is it?"\\
"I think it's green tea? I dunno, I like beer more."\\
Jonathan almost choked, "I-I recall you mentioning beer yesterday, you really musn't drink so much alcohol, Jotaro! Especially at your age."\\
"It's only sometimes." Well, it wasn't exactly a lie. "Besides, I bet you've drank wine for dinner your whole life."\\
...Jonathan idly wondered just ''where'' his descendants gained the ability to make sassy remarks like that.
-->-- ''Fanfic/JonathanJoestarTheFirstJoJo''

-> '''Sasuke:''' You wanted to see me Sensei?\\
'''Kakashi:''' Yes I did. I know I said that I have to be impartial, but really, you're my favourite.\\
'''Sasuke (deadpan):''' Really.\\
'''Kakashi''' : Really! Here, watch, I've got a kickass new lightning jutsu I can show you to prove it-\\
''later...''\\
'''Hinata:''' You wanted to see me Sensei?\\
'''Kakashi:''' Yes I did. I know I said that I have to be impartial, but really, you're my favourite.\\
'''Hinata (deadpan):''' Really.\\
'''Kakashi''' : Really! Here, watch, I've got a kickass new lightning jutsu I can show you to prove it-
-->-- ''Fanfic/WhiteEyes''

->''"No fair! Something so cute shouldn't have such a strong attack! Cheater!"''
-->-- '''Ilya''' (who's '''''Berserker'''''[='=]s Master) about '''[[WesternAnimation/Ben10UltimateAlien Echo Echo]]''', ''Fanfic/FateStayNightUltimateMaster''

->''"Hey! Watch your language around my fucking kid!"''
-->-- '''Launch''', ''Fanfic/TalesOfTheMonkeyQueen''

->'''Victoria:''' "I mean, who invites someone to their place without knowing their last name?"\\
'''Taylor:''' "You. You do. You wouldn't let me not sleep on your floor. And that was before you knew my first name."\\
'''Victoria:''' "Huh...you're right."
-->-- ''Fanfic/AChangeOfPace''

->All [[Franchise/{{Superman}} he]] had done was dress up in an absurd three-colored costume and beat up on crooks. Worse yet, he had inspired a generation of crooks to don such costumes, gain or simulate other superhuman powers, and litter the landscape with their fallen crime-schemes. All in the name of conquering Superman.\\
Well, [[ComicBook/LexLuthor he]] was not immune to that, of course. But he had good reason. Prior claim, as it were.
-->-- ''Fanfic/KaraOfRokyn''

->Asuka told him about Hikari's raging crush on Touji. She'd been only slightly surprised when Shinji mentioned Touji's matching infatuation with the petite Class Rep that he thought no one knew about. Asuka had laughed at the foolishness of the two of them liking each other but failing to see it was mutual, just dancing around each other for months... until Shinji had given her a smirk and a stare.
-->-- ''Fanfic/AdviceAndTrust''

->"ENOUGH! You WILL be silent, trickster! If you think you can get out of Yomi by annoying me, you are wrong. Do not think I have forgotten your last sojourn to the seventh hell. You thought I would let you go if you read your abysmal haiku constantly for the space of many years, but you failed! Your foolish attempts at deception WILL NOT ANNOY ME!"
-->-- '''Emma-O''', ''Fanfic/HeartsOfIce''

->'''Willow:''' Ha! How do you like those apples, Jacques? You screwed an assassin! You're lucky she didn't cut your throat. Too bad.\\
'''Jacques:''' ''[sputtering]'' I screwed--so did ''you'', Willow! You're lucky she didn't kill ''you!''\\
'''Willow:''' Not after I showed her my corkscrew special! Remember when we first married and you weren't such a towering dick? That little trick I could do with a cherry stem and my tongue? I can still do that, Jacques! And I did it to that little waitress!
-->-- NSFW ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}'' fanfic ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/21884344/chapters/52234822 Love Hurts]]''

->'''Kevin:''' HOW MANY FUDGING TANKS ARE THERE?\\
'''Tankman:''' Don't use those sugary swears with me! Out here we swear like men! I don't know how many effing tanks there are!
-->-- ''Fanfic/ItsAlwaysSpookyMonth''

->"You're thinking of something."\\
"Indeed."\\
"What is it this time?"\\
"Idle thoughts."\\
"Doubtful. I don't think you've ever had an idle thought."\\
Gendo smiled. "Just thinking what they find so interesting to go through this much trouble."\\
Fuyutsuki gave an answering grin. "Probably the same thing we do to sit here and watch them," he said with subtle irony in his voice.
-->-- ''Fanfic/RolePlayingEvangelion''

->'''Toji:''' "Ha, didn't that little bastard send you a card from New Hollywood? Boasting about how great it was there?"\\
'''Shinji:''' "Didn't you do more or less the same just now?"\\
'''Toji:''' "Yeah, but that... ah... whatever..."
-->-- ''Fanfic/LongTimeNoSee''

->'''Cell:''' Y'know, I was hoping you'd play along, maybe make four Gokus... But, if you're just gonna sink the showboat, I'm not going to bother.\\
'''Goku:''' Sorry, Cell. I'm here to win. And you're never gonna beat me with your stolen techniques.\\
'''Cell:''' And what, are you gonna beat me with ''your'' stolen techniques?\\
'''Goku:''' What? I don't steal techniques!\\
'''Piccolo:''' Actually, Goku... yeah, you do.\\
'''Goku:''' Wha? What about the Kamehameha?\\
'''Krillin:''' Uh, that was Master Roshi.\\
'''Goku:''' The Solar Flare?\\
'''Tien:''' That's mine, thanks.\\
'''Goku:''' The Spirit Bom-\\
'''King Kai:''' Goku, I'm watching the tournament. Don't think you can pull that shit!\\
'''Goku:''' Oh hey, King Kai! Quick question: did I learn the Kaioken on my own?\\
'''King Kai:''' ...My f**king name is in it.
-->-- ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
->'''Monkey''': What's best is to not be fielding ideas from a talking cockroach.\\
'''Beetle''': This coming from the talking monkey.
-->--''WesternAnimation/KuboAndTheTwoStrings''

->''He took the name- Metro Man, defender of Metro City. I decided to pick something ''a little more humble- Megamind'', incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy!''
-->--'''WesternAnimation/{{Megamind}}'''

->''"You could probably use a little sun. Then again, who am I to talk?"''
-->--'''The Joker''' to '''Batman''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanUnderTheRedHood''

->''"Girls, ''girls!'' Remember, above all, self-control."'' [knock at the door; cue slamming piano keys] '''"YES?!"'''''
-->-- '''[[WickedStepmother Lady Tremaine]]''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Cinderella}}''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
->'''Rick:''' How can you close me up? On what grounds?\\
'''Louis:''' I am shocked, ''shocked'', to find that gambling is going on in here!\\
'''Emile:''' ''(handing him a stack of bills)'' Your winnings, sir.\\
'''Louis:''' Oh thank you very much. ''(shouting to casino patrons)'' Everybody out at once!
-->-- ''Film/{{Casablanca}}''

->''"This is a respectable and ''refined'' neighbourhood - and don't you bloody well forget it!"''
-->-- '''Agatha Spanner''', ''Film/CarryOnAtYourConvenience''

->''"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is TheWarRoom!"''
-->-- '''President Merkin Muffley''', ''Film/DrStrangelove''

->'''Archie:''' How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?\\
'''Otto:''' You're the vulgarian, you fuck!
-->-- ''Film/AFishCalledWanda''

->''"There are only two things I can't stand in this world: people who are intolerant of other peoples' cultures... and the Dutch!"''
-->-- '''Nigel Powers''', ''Film/AustinPowersInGoldmember''

->'''Brian:''' No, no, no, you don't understand. You've got to work it out for yourselves.\\
'''Followers:''' ''(in unison)'' Yes, we've got to work it out for ourselves.\\
'''Brian:''' You're all individuals!\\
'''Followers:''' Yes, we're all individuals.\\
'''Brian:''' You're all different!\\
'''Followers:''' Yes, we are all different.\\
'''One Follower:''' I'm not.\\
'''All Other Followers:''' Sh!
-->-- ''Film/MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian''

->'''Officer:''' Worst of all, [Colt] is [[CowboyCop gun happy]]!\\
'''Colt:''' ''(points a gun in her face)'' ''Where do you get off saying that?!''
-->-- ''Film/LoadedWeapon1''

->'''Juror #10:''' He's a common, ignorant slob! He don't even speak good English.\\
'''Juror #11:''' ''Doesn't'' even speak good English.
-->-- ''Film/TwelveAngryMen''

->''"Well, that's where I see things, just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor." ''(opens a Pizza Hut box and smiles for the camera)
-->-- '''Wayne''', ''Film/WaynesWorld''

->''"One more thing — Eugene, gimme that — If I ever find one of these lying around again, I swear to FUCKING God, I will stop being so polite. ''(someone wanders in)'' Get the fuck outta my sight before I demolish you!"''
-->-- '''[[SadistTeacher Terrance Fletcher]]''', ''Film/{{Whiplash}}''

->''"And because I am'' '''''a goddamned professional!"'''''
-->-- '''Mary''', ''Film/TheWeddingPlanner''

->[after finding cigarettes on a neutralized {{mook}}]'' Mm, these are very bad for you. ''[takes one and lights up]
-->-- '''John [=McClane=]''', ''Film/DieHard''

->''"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."''
-->--'''Coach Carr''', ''Film/MeanGirls''

->'''The Girl''': I can't remember anything that happened before I got here.\\
'''Prisoner [=KSC2=]-303''': Yeah, right.\\
'''Girl''': How about you? Why were you in prison?\\
'''[=KSC2=]-303''': Well, I was...\\
'''Girl''': You don't remember either?\\
'''[=KSC2=]-303''': I, uh, forget things easily.\\
'''Girl''': Oh... you, too!
-->--''Film/{{Versus}}''

->'''Deacon''': The neighbors can see you flying around the house. You want to draw attention to this house, hm?\\
'''Nick''': You've got a whole documentary crew following you around!
-->--''Film/WhatWeDoInTheShadows''

->'''Jonathan Mardukas''': You can't steal a truck!\\
'''Jack Walsh''': You were stealing a plane!
-->--''Film/MidnightRun''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]

->''This column generated a large amount of mail from irate opera lovers who:\\
1. Pointed out that they are far more sophisticated, urbane, and cultured than I am, and\\
2. Used some really dirty words.''
-->-- '''Creator/DaveBarry''', "The Fat Lady Sings"

->"He didn't [[NothingPersonal take it personally]]. He was a [[ProfessionalKiller hired killer]], after all. It would be pretty hypocritical to take a murder attempt personally, after everything he'd done. But that was no reason to let them live."
-->-- On '''Tesseract''', ''Literature/SkulduggeryPleasant: Mortal Coil''

->''"I doubt [Haruhi] even knows [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Honduras_(orthographic_projection).svg where]] Honduras ''is''. Let's see, somewhere below Mexico, right?"''
-->-- '''Kyon''', ''Literature/HaruhiSuzumiya''

->''"Those guys ripped off what we rightfully stole!"''
-->-- '''[[TheBigGuy Hamilton Holt]]''', ''Literature/The39Clues -- [[Recap/The39CluesTheMedusaPlot Cahills vs. Vespers #1: The Medusa Plot]]''

->"Men always seemed to think violence could solve anything. If she had had a stout stick, she would have thumped all three of them about the shoulders until they saw reason."
-->-- '''Nynaeve al'Meara''''s thoughts, ''Literature/TheWheelOfTime''

->''"Peace be inside me, tolerance around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so I may feed him his organs."''
-->-- '''Opal Koboi''', ''Literature/ArtemisFowl''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
->''"Jonathan Ross is the worst kind of nasty, gratuitous, insulting, viciously insensitive bully." said Piers Morgan... [[LampshadeHanging from his glass house!]]''
-->-- '''Creator/TomBaker''', reading a quote on ''Series/HaveIGotNewsForYou''

->'''Nigel Farage:''' I think it's absolutely disgusting, all these elected politicians using all these expenses to better themselves. Disgraceful, isn't it, Ian?\\
'''Ian Hislop:''' It is absolutely disgraceful, Mister Kettle.
-->-- ''Series/HaveIGotNewsForYou''

->''"So, they're just gonna sit alone in those theater seats and make wisecracks about the show. What jerks!"''
-->-- ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', '''Bill Corbett''', Podcast/RiffTrax [[Film/RevengeOfTheSith Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith]]

->'''Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion''': (reading in unison) "Bell out of order. Please knock."\\
'''Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett''': (in unison) Reading in unison is a capital offense.
-->-- ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', '''Bill Corbett''', Podcast/RiffTrax Film/TheWizardOfOz

->'''Brennan:''' Kyle. I know you get everything you want by flaunting your superior intellect, but that won't work with me.\\
'''Aldridge:''' And why is that?\\
'''Brennan:''' Because I'm smarter than you are.
-->-- ''Series/{{Bones}}''

-> on her friends judging her for dating her ex's son)'' Fine, judge all you want to, but ''(to Ross)'' married a lesbian, ''(to Rachel)'' left a man at the altar, ''(to Phoebe)'' fell in love with a gay ice dancer, ''(to Joey)'' threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, ''(to Chandler)'' [[ItMakesSenseInContext lives in a box!]]''
-->-- '''Monica,''' ''Series/{{Friends}}'', "The One with Chandler in a Box"

->''"Niles, I don't have time to stand here and listen to your insanity! I have to go steal a Get Well card from a kidney patient!"''
-->-- '''Frasier Crane''', ''Series/{{Frasier}}''

->'''Clair:''' I've never seen [Rudy] so bossy!\\
'''Cliff:''' She ''is'' kind of pushy.\\
'''Clair:''' Well I don't like it. Call her in here!
-->-- ''Series/TheCosbyShow''

->''"You shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition at."''
-->-- '''Tracy Jordan''', ''Series/ThirtyRock''

->'''Fisk''': We all knew that we would need to eliminate the Russians one day. They were too unpredictable.\\
'''Leland''': This from a guy taking heads off with a car door.
-->-- ''Series/Daredevil2015''

->''"We never use euphemisms, and we think that people who do are complete front-bottoms."''
-->-- '''Stephen Fry''', ''Series/{{QI}}''

->''"Dear Sir, I object strongly to the letters on your programme. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers."''
-->-- '''The "Letters (Lavatorial Humour)" Sketch''', ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus''

->''"Those Spanish probably won't even eat [the chicken], just cut her throat and drink her blood, or something else superstitious. All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power. And make a nice Kiev."''
-->-- '''Red''', ''Series/OrangeIsTheNewBlack''

->'''Sir Humphrey:''' How are things at the Campaign for the Freedom of Information?
->'''Sir Arnold:''' Sorry, I can't talk about that.
-->-- ''Series/YesMinister, Party Games''

->''"Personal attacks!? Real mature, Shrimp!"''
-->-- '''Peacemaker''' to '''Judomaster''', ''Series/Peacemaker2022''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Miscellaneous]]
->''"I hate people who generalize. They're all idiots."''
-->-- '''Anonymous'''

->''"People say I am ruthless. I am not ruthless. And if I find the man who is calling me ruthless, [[DisproportionateRetribution I shall destroy him]]."''
-->-- '''Robert F. Kennedy'''

->''Profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker.''
-->-- unknown, attributed to multiple sources

->''"Most people dislike vanity in others, whatever share they have of it themselves."''
-->-- '''Creator/BenjaminFranklin'''

->''"A witty saying proves nothing."''
-->-- '''Creator/{{Voltaire}}'''

->''"Look back through this essay, and for certain you will find that I have again and again committed the very faults I am protesting against."''
-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeOrwell''', "Politics and the English Language"

->''"I can't stand innuendo. If I see one in a script I whip it out immediately."''
--> '''Creator/KennethWilliams'''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]
->''"...there are some people who do not love their fellow human beings, and I ''hate'' people like that!"''
-->-- '''Music/TomLehrer''', in a foreword for "National Brotherhood Week", ''Music/ThatWasTheYearThatWas''

->"I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no one judges me!"
-->-- '''Music/JethroTull''', "Thick as a Brick"

->''Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music\\
[[BrokenRecord Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music]]\\
[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music]]\\
[[OverlyLongGag Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music]]''
-->-- Music/DanLeSacVsScroobiusPip''', "Thou Shalt Always Kill"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
->'''Hunter:''' From 10 PM to 11 PM, we will only use the words ass, damn, hell, and bitch. We will ''never'', however, use the words [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking shit, fuck, goddamn, Jesus Christ]], faggot, or any other racial or sexual slurs. Now then, as it pertains to video, we promise there will be less dick references.\\
'''Shawn:''' Ah, shit!\\
'''Hunter:''' Watch your fuckin' mouth!\\
'''Shawn:''' Well, fuck me!\\
'''Hunter:''' Goddamnit! ''(under his breath)'' Fuck!
-->-- Wrestling/DGenerationX's State of the Union promo
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Rides]]
->'''Kermit:''' And we promise we won't stoop to cheap 3D tricks.\\
'''Fozzie:''' Did someone say ''cheap 3D tricks''?! ''(blows a party favor at the camera)''
-->-- ''Ride/MuppetVision3D''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
->''"It's a DVD, and some of it might be shown on TV, so I'll be keeping it clean. There'll be no swearing, bad language, or dirty talk. No, no, none of that. Because as my mother always says, 'if you have to swear to get laughs, then you're obviously a cunt'."''
-->-- '''Creator/Ed yrne'''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theatre]]
->''"I never swear. I detest this habit. What the devil do you mean?"''
-->-- '''Henry Higgins''', ''Theatre/{{Pygmalion}}''

->''In time I grew as rich as the Gurneys\\
An incubus then I thought her\\
So I threw over the rich attorney's\\
Elderly, ugly daughter\\
The rich attorney my character high\\
Tried vainly to disparage\\
And now if you please, I'm ready to try\\
This breach of promise of marriage.''
-->-- '''The Learned Judge''', ''Theatre/TrialByJury''

->'''Nick Bottom:''' What the hell are [[TheMusical "musicals"]]?
->'''Thomas Nostradamus:''' It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops, and the plot is conveyed through song.
->'''Nick:''' Through song? Wait, wait, wait. So an actor is saying his lines, and then out of nowhere, he just starts singing?
->'''Thomas:''' Yes!
->'''Nick:''' Well, that is the ''[[ImmediateSelfContradiction [singing]]]'' ''[[StupidestThingIveEverHeard stupidest thing that I have ever heard!]]''
-->-- '''"A Musical"''', ''Theatre/SomethingRotten''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
->'''Marisa:''' A half-beast that can't morph without the full moon is just a human. Weak!\\
'''Alice:''' You DO know you're a human too, right?
-->-- ''VideoGame/TouhouEiyashouImperishableNight''

->''"DEMOCRACY IS NON-NEGOTIABLE!"''
-->-- '''Liberty Prime''', ''VideoGame/Fallout3''

->''"[[RousingSpeech Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow—]]" ''[[[AgonyOfTheFeet *accidentally stabs his feet on his spear*]]]'' "Owwowowwow!"''
-->-- '''Jarvan IV''', ''VideoGame/LeagueOfLegends''

->'''Genocider Jill, Ultimate Murderous Fiend:''' Shut your murdering mouth, murderer!\\
'''Yasuhiro Hagakure, Ultimate Clairvoyant:''' Who're ''you'' calling a murderer!?
-->-- ''VisualNovel/DanganronpaTriggerHappyHavoc''

->''"You should get to bed. What's that? [[LampshadeHanging Hey, I am NOT a hypocrite!]]"''
-->-- '''A UsefulNotes/{{Mii}} [[AntiPoopSocking late at night]]''', ''VideoGame/TomodachiLife''

->'''Rouge:''' Thief!\\
'''Knuckles:''' Look who's calling who a thief!
-->-- ''VideoGame/SonicAdventure2''

->''"Ehh, this shit'll kill you."'' *puffs cigarette*
-->-- '''Bigby Wolf''' talking about a soda machine, ''VideoGame/TheWolfAmongUs''

->''"[[VerbalBackspace Retraction]]: [[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud Did I say that out loud?]] I apologize, Master. While you are a meatbag, I suppose I should not call you such."''
-->-- '''HK-47''', ''VideoGame/KnightsOfTheOldRepublic''

->''"This place would elicit fear in most individuals. Fortunately, my training prevents me from — wait! What was that?"''
-->-- '''Paladin Danse''' when exploring a creepy place, ''VideoGame/Fallout4''

->''"Preserve our beautiful scenery! Please refrain from posting signs."''
-->-- '''A sign''', ''VideoGame/Mother3''

->'''Miqo'te PlayerCharacter''': A... talking cat?\\
'''Fashionable Feline''': Oh, that's rich coming from you. Or have you not looked in a mirror lately?
-->-- ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV'', "The New King on the Block"

->''"Ugh... Indecisive people annoy me...I think."''
-->-- '''Marie''', ''VideoGame/Splatoon1''

->''"Who asks someone to do something that they don't want to do themselves?! Oh hey, can you go and get me a Lakitu's Cloud, Mario?"''
-->-- '''Green Toad''', ''VideoGame/SuperMarioMaker2''

->''"It is childish to favor one tool over another! ...but [[ICallItVera Hammer]] is my favorite."''
-->-- '''Ornn''', ''VideoGame/LeagueOfLegends''

->''"An RPG! There's no time for this!"''
-->--'''On a TV screen''' in ''VideoGame/PokemonRedAndBlue''

->'' Dear Billie,\\
nice spelling, [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Your]] on your way to A career in trash disposal. How about I seand you a Fucking dictionary so you can learn to read and wright?\\
I'm giveing your older brother the space ranger jet, He can spell!\\
Santa...\\
PS: Tell [[IBangedYourMom your mom to call me Big Daddy!]]''
-->-- '''The Postal Dude, as Santa Claus''', ''VideoGame/Postal2, "A Very Postal Christmas" mod.''

->''"Don't try to hold me back! I'm gonna murder this guy! That'll teach him to call me a murderer!"''
-->-- '''Frank''', ''VideoGame/JimmyAndThePulsatingMass''

-> '''Runo:''' Hey. Welcome to my home.\\
'''[[HeroicMime Player]]:''' You don't speak much...\\
'''Runo:''' ...You know what? Neither do you! You've said, like, 5 sentences in the past 3 minutes!
-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Wynncraft}}''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Animation]]
->''"I'm not bossy! Don't say things like that!"''
-->-- '''Weiss''', ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''

->''"Grr! [[RedEyesTakeWarning I can't]] ''[[IncendiaryExponent take it anymore]]''! Will everyone just chill out for two seconds before something crazy happens again!?"''
-->-- '''Yang Xiao Long''', ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''

->'''Ruby:''' (''angrily showing Blake the "Ninjas of Love" book she had'') This is filth. ''FILTH!'' (''smacks Blake'')\\
'''Blake:''' AHHH! (''as Ruby marches off with the book'') C-Can I have my book back?\\
'''Ruby:''' LATER!
-->-- ''WebAnimation/RWBYChibi''

->''"Son of a bitch! How can they be so arrogant?! No one's better than me!"''
-->-- '''Burnie Burns''', ''[[WebAnimation/RedVsBlue Red Vs Blue S14E24: Red vs. Blue vs. Rooster Teeth]]''

->''"Capitalism sucks- don't demonetize me, Youtube."''
-->--'''Red''', ''WebAnimation/OverlySarcasticProductions''

->''"J.P. keeps bugging me about the length of these "[[MidReviewSketchShow character skits]]", as he calls them. I don't know what he's on about! I am the Dark Lord! I am the epitome of conciseness! The very form of succinctness! I never ramble! I move with evil purpose in all that I do! I do not repeat myself, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment nor do I fall into repetition]]! I am always to the point! Um...what was I doing again?"''
-->-- '''The Dark Lord''', ''WebAnimation/TerribleWritingAdvice'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5SSD8hVQrg Episode 32: GRIMDARK]]

-> '''Robotnik''': [trapped under a block of ice] Please! Let me out! I'll be good from now on...
-> '''Tails''': Yeah, but-
-> '''Robotnik''': Shut up and do what I tell you to before I [[RelatedInTheAdaptation disown]] you!
-->-- ''Creator/{{Iteachvader}}'', [[YouTubePoop "Robotnik Publishes a Bestseller"]]

->''"what the hell dude i was about to kill that baby!"''
-->-- '''Flingy''' in response to Mario killing him, ''[[WebAnimation/SuperMarioglitchy4ssupermario64bloopers SMG4]]'', "[[Recap/SMG4VideoEndsWhenEveryoneStopsWatching Video Ends When Everyone Stops Watching]]"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]
->'''Athens:''' The same reports are coming in from the vessel commanders throughout the fleet. As we expected, the organic units are proving very selfish. Even with the two courses laid clearly before them, they stubbornly choose futile efforts at self-preservation over the greater good.\\
'''Petey:''' The next engagements begin shortly. Athens, we need live telemetry feeds from all your systems — maybe we can learn something important.\\
'''Athens:''' Who says I'm going first? I'm the flagship. ''You'' go first.
-->-- ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary''

->'''GG:''' Shucks!!!!!\\
'''TT:''' Hey, I'm upset about it too, but let's watch the fucking language.
-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
->The times call for rational, well-reasoned thinking. Under no circumstances allow your thinking to be clouded by superstition.
-->-- Horoscope for Leos, ''Website/TheOnion''

->''"Dear audience who might be inspired by me, unfortunately, to make videos because of my videos on the internet:\\
Please try and suss out the things which are not interesting and that should be edited out. I am aware that it is customary to try to show everything in a video game, or at the very least, as much as possible, but there is such a thing as knowing what to weed out, or the very least, accelerate. Sometimes, even when it's new content, it's better off accelerated. I know that a lot of you are pretty smart about this, but others.... aren't, for lack of a better word."''
-->-- '''LetsPlay/{{Raocow}}''', over unedited footage of [[InfiniteOneUps life farming.]]

->''"I'm on your side! How many of you do I have to kill before you understand that!?"''
-->-- '''[[VideoGame/HalfLife Gordon Freeman]]''', ''WebVideo/FreemansMind''

->''"It turns out that Maxwell Lord wanted to get rid of superheros and super villains, so that normal humans could rightfully retake the Earth. Because super-powered being are too powerful. And yet'' [-HE-] ''is a super-powered being!"''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]]'''

->''"I hate people whose mom has died! Someone whose mom died once killed my mother!"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Phelous}}'''

->''"[[FanDumb Fans are clingy complaining dipshits]] who will [[UnpleasableFanbase never ever be grateful for any concession you make]]. The moment you shut out their shrill tremulous voices, the happier you will be for it. Incidentally, why not buy a Zero Punctuation t-shirt?"''
-->-- '''[[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw]]'''

->''You couldn't release a buggy game during the cartridge and cassette days, you'd get sentenced to trampling under the company Brontosaurus! But I'll tell you the worst part ab-orst part ab-orst part ab-orst part ab-orst part ab--''\\
''(system error box pops up)''
-->-- ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'', on ''VideoGame/{{STALKER}}:Clear Sky''

->''Oh, the mind-bending feats of wordplay of those clever young whippersnappers who make WesternAnimation/SouthPark! Clever middle-aged whippersnappers, rather; middle-aged whippersnappers still making a living out of poo jokes. [[ExpospeakGag My goodness, my glass house is sparkling delightfully in the morning sun! What a nice day to indulge in my favourite hobby of projectile mineralogy!]]''
-->-- '''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''', on ''VideoGame/SouthParkTheFracturedButWhole''

->'''The Nerd:''' ''Holy shit! [gets blasted]''\\
'''Super Mecha Death Christ: ''WATCH YOUR [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] LANGUAGE!!'''''
-->-- ''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'', ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros3'' review

-> ''Well, that's it. If you were expecting me to some kind of beaver joke, no. Because this is high-class internet content. Now enough of this poop-fuck-shit-diarrhea-cunt-fuck!''
-->--'''The Nerd,''' ''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'', Platform/AmigaCD32 review, on ''Beaver Mania''

->''"I love it when Geoff is mad at everyone for pissing around, then he goes and blows everything up."''
-->-- '''Creator/GavinFree''', ''[[LetsPlay/AchievementHunterGrandTheftAutoSeries Let's Play Grand Theft Auto V]]'' "[=CarDunkEn=]"

->''You know me (disclaimer: none of you know me), and I am a simple man who only requests the simplest things in life, like four thousand gigabytes worth of furry porn, and a small supercomputer that I only ever use to edit text files with, but when I get my game on? Oh, boy, you better believe I'm getting my game on. Who needs 4K when I'm running Wii games 16,000 pixels wide, on a screen 5% of that value? You can practically taste the [[YoutubePoop Gay Luigi]]. But beyond all of this, I am very practical, and as such, demand little more but the quiet enjoyment of my life with my modest army of whores.''
-->-- '''Froghand''', from the [[https://froghand.neocities.org/buafy/2016-11.html#14 2016-11-14 BUAFY]].

->''”This cat is pushing a watermelon out of a lake. [[NonSequitur Your argument is invalid.]]”''
-->--'''Popular ImageMacro'''

-> ''"Don't curse, Gwyneth. [train horn interrupts video] SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Don't curse, Gwyneth!"''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/JonTron Jon]]''', "Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop"

-> ''"Keep laughing at him, gingerbread men and injured clowns. He looks so stupid!"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''', "Care Bears Nutcracker"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
->''"That's a lie! I don't need a potion to be nice, and I'll pound anyone who says I do into mush!"''
-->-- '''Bowser Koopa''', ''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfSuperMarioBros3''

->''"Yeah, but I couldn't have done it without you guys. And I'll never desert my friends again! Now excuse me while I desert you to talk to Trixie."''
-->-- '''Timmy Turner''', ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents''

->''"Your lyrics lack subtlety! You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! [[ThatMakesMeFeelAngry That makes me feel angry!]]"''
-->-- '''Robot Devil''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->'''Child:''' Stupid senior citizens. Why should we have to pay for their Social Security benefits? \\
''(time skip, the child is now an elderly man)'' \\
'''Elderly man:''' I deserve free money!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', [[Recap/FuturamaS3E14TimeKeepsOnSlippin "Time Keeps on Slippin'"]]

->''"Hey, I might have a high opinion of myself and a low opinion of everyone else, but that doesn't make me arrogant."''
-->-- '''Kuzco''', ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewSchool''

->'''Mark Posubule:''' Forgive your ''debtors''!\\
'''Clay Puppington:''' Forgive your ''trespassers''!\\
'''Mark Posubule:''' You owe me a bottle of wine!\\
'''Clay Puppington:''' Get off my property!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MoralOrel'', "The Lord's Prayer"

->"(reading a ransom note) ''It from the martians! I know it them cause [[YouNoTakeCandle they no use good grammar]]."''
-->-- '''Mr. Wong''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' I'd sure like to go to this party, but I can't read the invitation!\\
'''Patrick:''' Me neither!\\
'''[=SpongeBob=]''' Whoever sent this obviously has no idea about the physical limitations of life underwater! Well, might as well throw these in the fire.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "Party Pooper Pants"

->''"Too tough for me? That's downright ridiculous!! [[MemeticMutation I'll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for 20 minutes!]]"''
-->-- '''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''', "No Weenies Allowed"

->'''Beavis:''' School sucks.\\
'''Principal [=McVicker=]:''' You watch your mouth, you little pain-in-the-ass!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButtHead'', "Speech Therapy"

->''"I am a woman of science. At least that's what my horoscope said."''
-->-- '''Stacy Hirano''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb''

->''"That birdcage? Poppycock! Elevators are for old people!"''
-->-- '''[[CoolOldGuy George Hautecort]]''', ''WesternAnimation/TheAristocats''

->''"I'll prove I'm a [[TheHero good guy]] even if I have to [[DestructiveSaviour destroy this entire city]] and [[BloodKnight beat you to a pulp]]!"''
-->-- '''[[DesignatedHero Coop]]''', ''WesternAnimation/MegasXLR''

->''"If you wanna be one of the non-conformists, [[DisobeyThisMessage all you have to do is dress just like us and listen to the same music we do]]."''
-->-- '''The Goth Kids''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''

->'''WesternAnimation/LolaBunny''': Speedy, we're adults, m'kay? Adults live on their own.
->'''WesternAnimation/SpeedyGonzales''': Where do you live?
->'''Lola''': With my parents.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLooneyTunesShow''

->'''Smithers:''' I'm afraid we have a bad image, sir. Market research shows that people see you as something of an ogre.\\
'''Mr. Burns:''' I ought to club them and eat their bones!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

->'''Bubbles:''' I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not who I am! I am the one, the only, single solitary doer of dastardly deeds! Purveyor of pestilence! Interloper of lawlessness! Menace to mankind! I am bad! I am evil! I am Mojo Jojo! Hahahahahahahaha!\\
'''Mojo Jojo:''' I do ''not'' talk like that! The way I communicate is much different! I do not constantly [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment reiterate, repeat, recite the same thing over and over again!]] I am clear! Concise! To the point!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerPuffGirls''

->''"I'm going to the Lilith Fair this weekend to support female solidarity, so scram!"''
-->-- '''Joelle Clarke''', ''WesternAnimation/BojackHorseman''.

->'''Pooh''': ''(In regards' to Gopher's honey)'' Could you [[GotMeDoingIt sssspare a ssssmall ssssmackeral]]?
->'''Gopher''': Ssssay, you oughta do ssssomething about that [[SpeechImpediment sssspeech impediment]], ssssonny.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheManyAdventuresOfWinnieThePooh''

-> ''"[[EgocentricTeamNaming There's no room for ego on Team Sonic!]]"''
-->-- '''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog''', ''WesternAnimation/SonicBoom''

->'''Yakko:''' Hello, I'm Yakko Warner, and, all joking aside, reboots are a fundamental lack of originality in Hollywood. A creativity crisis fueled by terrified executives clinging to the past like rats to the debris of a sinking ship.\\
'''Dot:''' Yeah! (''pulls back to reveal the Warner Siblings decked out in Creator/{{Hulu}}-themed outfits'') Have you no shame?!\\
'''Man:''' (''off-screen, holds out a large check'') Here's the check for the ''Animaniacs'' reboot, you sellouts!\\
(''Yakko takes the check as the siblings grin sheepishly, followed by a pile of money reading "HULU" falling behind them'')\\
'''Wakko:''' Yeaaaah, but when we sell out, we ''know'' we're selling out, so it's kewl.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/Animaniacs2020''

->'''Homer:''' He said I was an [[AMistakeIsBorn accident]]... he didn't want to have me.
->'''Marge:''' You didn't want to have Bart.
->'''Homer:''' I know, but you're never supposed to ''tell'' the child.
->'''Marge:''' You tell Bart all the time! You told him this morning!
->'''[[TroubledAbuser Homer]]:''' ''[flustered]'' But when ''I'' do it, it's cute!
-->-- WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons

->'''Rocksteady:''' Gee, boss, it ain't easy gettin' dinosaurs to obey!\\
'''Bebop:''' Yeah! *snort* They're [[DumbMuscle all muscle and no brains]]!\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Shredder:''' ''(aside)'' I won't say it. It's too easy.
-->--''WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987''
[[/folder]]
----