->'''Pearl:''' Which lousy gift would you rather get? Dumb socks or an ugly sweater?
->'''Marina:''' Uh... How about neither? No one wants to open that up on [[YouMeanXmas Octivus]] morning! [[VerbalBackspace OH! Or Squidmas morning!]] Whichever holiday you...um...happen to celebrate.
->'''Pearl:''' I feel you. But if I HAAAAAD to choose, I'd go with the sweater. A sweater shows that they at least put a LITTLE effort into finding a gift. Plus you can return a sweater for more money than socks...
->'''Marina:''' Yeah, I guess. But returning gifts is always such a hassle. Let's be real—it'll still be in a box in your closet two years from now.
-->-- ''VideoGame/Splatoon2''

->'''Adam:''' You know, some would say these antlers I'm wearing would be emasculating, but they'd be wrong.\\
'''Morgan:''' You're right, Adam. It's the ''sweater'' that makes you look gay.
-->--''Series/XPlay'' "Non-Denominational Holiday Special"

->"Oh, my God! Is that sweater made of bees?"
-->--'''Penny''', ''Series/TheBigBangTheory''

->''You don't know what's worse: the embarrassingly quaint "elf on reindeer" motif, or the fact that wearing it makes you feel like you're wrapped in a dead sasquatch.''
-->--''VideoGame/CookieClicker''

->''Made of wool with a holiday print''\\
''Mine's so black it'll make you squint''\\
''Sure I itch, but that'll get better''\\
''When I get used to my holiday sweater''
-->--'''Alex Stalock''', [[UsefulNotes/NationalHockeyLeague San Jose Sharks]] goaltender, on the team-sung single "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlReCoTDM4o Holiday Sweater]]"

->'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' Do you love it?
->'''Squidward:''' ''(scratching)'' It's a little itchy. What's this thing made of?
->'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' ''Eyelashes!''
->''(Squidward tosses the sweater at his face, hurting his feelings)''
-->--''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS2E4DyingForPieImitationKrabs Dying for Pie]]"

->'''Huey, Louie, Dewey:''' And Santa, no wool sweaters, please!
->'''Huey:''' They make us itch!
->'''Louie:''' And they make us sneeze -- AHCHOO!
-->-- "Dear Santa", ''WesternAnimation/DisneySingAlongSongs: The Twelve Days of Christmas''
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