->''My kids say, "He said to me, [[ValleyGirl and I'm like and he's like and she's like]]"\\
"It's all, he's all, she's all"\\
I can't get behind that kind of, [[GotMeDoingIt like, English]]\\
Yeah, and what about student drivers using ''my'' streets to learn?\\
If you learn to play the drums, you gotta go to a studio\\
Go to [[SuddenlyShouting A PARKING LOT FOR GOD'S SAKE!! WHY ARE YOU JEOPARDIZING MY LIFE]]\\
I can't get behind a student driver''
-->--'''Creator/WilliamShatner''', "I Can't Get Behind That"

->''"My father was a wheel! The ''first'' wheel! And do you know what he transformed into? ''Nothing!!'' But he did it with honor! Dignity, damn it!"''
-->--'''Jetfire''', ''Film/TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen''

->'''Popeye:''' Ain't you anxious to see me?
->'''Pappy:''' What d'ya want me to do, kiss ya?
-->''[[{{ComicStrip/Popeye}} Popeye the Sailor]]'', "Goonland"

->'''Grandpa:''' This never would've happened when I was a boy! You kids these days and [[TheLongList your Millennium Items and your card games and your loud music and your hula hoops and your hopscotch and your dungarees and your lollipops and your Sony Playstations and your voice-activated light switches and your leather pants]] [[BreadEggsMilkSquick and your artificial insemination—]]\\
'''Yugi:''' That's enough, Grandpa. It's time for [[AnAesop the big message]].\\
'''Grandpa:''' Hey, I'm not finished ranting!
--> --''[[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Movie]]''

->''If men learn this, it will implant forgetfulness in their souls; they will cease to exercise memory because they rely on that which is written, calling things to remembrance no longer from within themselves, but by means of external marks. What you have discovered is a recipe not for memory, but for reminder. And it is no true wisdom that you offer your disciples, but only its semblance, for by telling them of many things without teaching them you will make them seem to know much, while for the most part they know nothing, and as men filled, not with wisdom, but with the conceit of wisdom, they will be a burden to their fellows.''
-->--'''{{Plato}}''', on the invention of ''writing''.

->''“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and [[FauxHorrific everyone is writing a book.]]”''
-->--'''{{Creator/Cicero}}'''

->''"The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."''
--> --''' HLMencken'''

->''"Pull your pants up and act like a man!"''
-->--'''Gene Hackman''' to Creator/WesAnderson on the set of ''TheRoyalTenenbaums''

->''“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.”''
-->--'''Bill Maher''', ''The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass''

->'''Batman:''' The only thing I know of that can cut through her hide ain't in no WorldOfWarcraft game. So how you like them apples, hippies? Can't stop rockets with your Starbucks and [=iPads=], can you? Old guys win again! OLD GUYS WIN AGAIN!
-->--'''[[http://comicsalliance.com/frank-miller-occupy-muslim-comics/ Chris Sims]]''', "Creator/FrankMiller Was a Cranky Old Man All Along"

->''"Snore, er what huh? Why have you awaken me, slave? What? [[AttentionWhore My minions have forgotten about me?]] This shall not stand, [[BornInTheWrongCentury fetch me my telegraph]], I must pen a missive on the slatternly behaviors of the youthful whores who have had the unmitigated gall to be young and uninterested in [[DirtyOldMan sexist old men]] while I doze off into my twilight hours and thus should be punished!!! Er, I mean to say, [[EEqualsMCHammer something about math and statistics]] that’s impressively ignorant in order to try and handwave the real problem of rape. All right, I’ve completed my dictation, go slave and fetch my monetary recompense."''
-->--''Sadly, No!'' [[http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/39878.html rebuts]] George Will

->'''Third Hokage''': I can't believe it, Orochimaru, but you're making me resort to my ultimate attack, a forbidden jutsu passed down through the line of the Hokages!\\
'''Orochimaru''': ''[Gasp]'' You don't mean...\\
'''Third Hokage''': Yes! The ''[[RamblingOldManMonologue Old Man Monologue Jutsu]]''!
--> -- ''NarutoTheAbridgedSeries''
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