[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

->What does the fate of mankind have to do with the fate of my ''balls?''
-->-- '''Bando''', ''Manga/ElfenLied''

->Gall-darnit!! Burn down my bar, subject me to torture, bite off my pecker...!! Who's gonna take responsibility for all that!
-->-- '''Shunsaku Ban''', ''Manga/{{MW}}'' chapter twenty-six

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comics]]

->'''Jessica Jones''': You ever been [[CallingYourAttacks kicked in the nuts]] by a super hero?\\
'''Bouncer''': [[OhCrap What...]]
-->-- ''Comicbook/{{Alias}}''

->Quit stabbin' me groin, ya wee baby man!
-->-- '''Creator/MarkMillar''', ''[[ComicBook/TheSimpsons Simpsons Comics]]'' #88

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Fiction]]

->As they ran through the forest, they could hear Ron scream, "You goober! Tell me where that million credit man is or I'll do some very unpleasant things to your reproductive organs!"
-->-- ''[[http://anorbitingdilemmastoryexcerpt.webs.com/ An Orbiting Dilemma]]'', a ''Franchise/StarWars'' fic by Brett Wortham

->HE! STABBED! ME! IN! THE! COCK!
-->-- '''Unfortunate CAT-6 mercenary''', ''Fanfic/MassEffectHumanRevolution''

->A strangled screech escaped my lips, quickly giving way to a loud roar of pain I assumed could be heard from a kilometer away. The pain burning in that region made me wonder two things: first, [[ItMakesSenseInContext why I had not thought of anything beyond firing that cable.]] And the second thing that flashed through my mind was the most important question I had ever asked: Did Remnant offer testicle transplants?
-->-- ''Fanfic/RWBYReckoning''

->"[[CallingYourAttacks HORSE KICKS FOR THE CROWN JEWELS!]]"
-->-- '''Valerie Payne''', ''Fanfic/TheUltimateEvil''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film - Live-Action]]

->Oooh, right in the mummy-daddy button!
-->-- '''Fat Bastard''', ''Film/AustinPowers''

->Hey, you wanna be a farmer? Here's a couple of ache'rs!
-->-- '''Jack Slater''', ''Film/LastActionHero''

->'''Gunn:''' Come on, baby, it's time to [[PlayingDoctor play doctor]].\\
'''Abby:''' Betcha can't guess my favourite operation.\\
'''Gunn:''' What's that, baby?\\
'''Abby:''' A [[UnusualEuphemism vasectomy]]!
-->-- ''Film/TheReturnOfSwampThing''

->Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago.
-->-- '''Dark Helmet''', ''Film/{{Spaceballs}}''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]

->I am not suggesting here that only guys have privates. I realize that women also have privates, and plenty of them. But their privates are a lot more ''private''. They are tucked safely away in various vaults of the female body; wheras the guy privates - which contain not only half of the guy's nerve endings, but are also a good 83 percent of his motivation - are, because of an incredibly stupid design flaw, hanging right out in the open in an absurdly vulnerable manner, like Harold Lloyd dangling from the face of the giant clock, waiting for disaster to strike. Almost every guy has, at one time or another, been traumatically whacked in the personal regions by a baseball or a bicycle bar or a knee or something, and this is the kind of thing a guy remembers for a ''long'' time.
-->-- ''Creator/DaveBarry's Complete Guide to Guys''

->Ivan... do you remember, whenever one of you fellows got kicked in the nuts and went over, doing sports or whatever, how I laughed? I'm sorry. I never knew. I'm '''''sorry'''''...
-->-- '''Lord Dono Vorruyter''', [[GenderBender formerly Lady Donna]], ''[[Literature/VorkosiganSaga A Civil Campaign]]''

->For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the [[{{Heaven}} kingdom of heaven]]. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.
-->-- '''[[Literature/TheFourGospels Matthew 19:12]]'''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]

->Check out the grip! Right now, his chances of having grandkids is dropping exponentially!
-->-- '''Tom Bergeron''', host of ''Series/AmericasFunniestHomeVideos'', after a Slo-Mo Cam segment catches the fact that a dad put one of his son's groin in such a grip to push off in trying to save their camera.

->Well Emil, I guess it's just you... me... your balls... and this drawer. [...] Say Joe, wouldn't a couple of Danishes go great with this coffee?
-->-- '''Pep Streebeck''', ''Franchise/{{Dragnet}}''

->Your famous cock must be very precious to you. Would you say it's your most precious part? [...] I'm not killing you. Just making a few alterations.
-->-- '''Ramsay Snow''', ''Series/GameOfThrones''

->'''Spanker:''' What are you going to do about it, old man?
->'''Jason Bentley:''' Well first I'm going to lean this way... (''dodges punch'') lean that way... (''dodges punch'') have a glass of wine... (''elbows Spanker as he drinks'') and then scratch my knee. (''knees Spanker in the groin'')
-->-- ''Series/TheComicStripPresents'', "Detectives on the Edge of a Nervous Breakdown"

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]

->A trauma to the groin, boys, a trauma to the groin! Nothin's quite as funny, as a trauma to the groin! There is no wit more pretty, there is no joke divine, or limerick delicious as a trauma to the groin!
-->-- '''Heywood Banks''', "Trauma to the Groin"

->Kick your desperate balls\\
So watch your back or I might call\\
Kick your desperate balls\\
From left or right or from below\\
You got desperate balls!
-->-- '''U.D.O.''', "Desperate Balls"

->See, look at that chump, see the way that he struts?\\
Don't kick him in the rump, go nuts on his nuts!\\
Just pop a squat, start lettin' off the shots\\
Like knock, knock, knock, just cold clocked his cock!\\
You got desperate balls!
-->-- '''Juicy Karkass.''', "Punch 'em in the Dick"

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Tabletop Games]]

->In triumph, the [[DemonLordsAndArchdevils Blood Prince]] screamed its praise to [[WarGod Khorne]], but whilst it was distracted, the warband's remaining Weirdboys unleashed a storm of psychic energy upon the daemon. It roared in rage at their impudence, crushing their minds with a gesture. [[DyingMomentOfAwesome With his final act]], Tuska reached up between the creature's legs with his [[PowerFist power klaw]] [[UnusualEuphemism and made a gesture of his own.]]
-->-- ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}, Codex: Orks'' on the end of Waaaagh! Tuska

->Light Injury, Immediate Effect: Character falls prone.\\
Heavy Injury, Immediate Effect: As Light plus the character is stunned for d3 turns.\\
Heavy Injury, Persistent Effect: Character suffers -1 Speed.\\
Acute Injury, Immediate Effect: As Heavy.\\
Acute Injury, Persistent Effect: As Heavy, Character adds d3 to his Injury total and is bleeding.\\
Crippled, Immediate Effect: Character automatically suffers system shock.
-->-- ''TabletopGame/{{Inquisitor}}'''s Groin Damage Table

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]

->Right in the jewels.
-->-- '''Duke''', ''VideoGame/DukeNukemForever''

->Well, Larry, this brings a whole new meaning to the term "dismemberment!"
-->-- ''VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry Goes Looking for Love (In Several Wrong Places)''

->Ha. Kick him in the [[ExoticEquipment quad!]]
-->-- '''[[CoolOldLady Matriarch Aethyta]]''', ''VideoGame/MassEffect2''

->'''Wrex:''' (''grunt of discomfort'')\\
'''Shepard:''' Something wrong?\\
'''Wrex:''' Mordin. He got his tissue sample alright. Let's just say no scalpel should cut where he cut.
-->--''VideoGame/MassEffect3''

->'''Chie:''' What the!? I can't believe this! It is completely cracked... My ''Trial of the Dragon''!\\
'''Yosuke:''' I think mine's cracked too... C-CriticalHit to the nads...
-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Persona 4}}''

->''"This day has been nothing but insults and punches to groin..."''
-->--'''Gregor''', ''VideoGame/FireEmblemAwakening''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]

->HAHAHAHAH he kicked your genitals. Ninjas have no honor.
-->-- '''Dan [=McNinja=]''', ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja'', [[http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/17p46 March 26th, 2010]]

->Metal foot! Metal foot... to... mantenna array! Pain levels... [[Creator/WilliamShatner Shatnerian]]... in intensity!
-->-- '''Marten Reed''', ''WebComic/QuestionableContent'' [[http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=746 #746]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]

->Oooh, look at that! [[ChainsawGood Chainsaw]] to the dick!
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', on a particularly nasty attack from the SNES version of ''Film/BatmanForever''

->'''Joseph''': Wait - isn't he in the, uh... Groin-Kick-Void or whatever?\\
'''Housemaster''': I KIK HIM IN NUTZZZLOLOL!!!
-->-- ''WebAnimation/{{Arfenhouse}} Teh Movie Too''

->'''Chris:''' Johnny squares off with Goro, then, in an act of supreme courage that shows us why he will be the one to save humanity, drops down, punches Goro in the balls and runs away. Raiden finds this hilarious.\\
'''Matt''': That’s actually a classic Johnny Cage ''Franchise/MortalKombat'' Fatality.\\
'''Chris''': Is it really? I just assumed he’d been watching ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'', though the lack of "THAT’S MY PURSE!" should’ve tipped me off.
-->-- '''Chris Sims''' and '''Matt Wilson''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-mortal-kombat-1995-part-two/ on]] ''Film/MortalKombat''

->The foot delivered an unending holocaust of pain as it rocketed into Zamboni's crotch.
-->-- '''Leon Arnott''''s 3rd place-winning entry in the 2007 Literature/LyttleLyttonContest

->Barry shows Batman around the place, where humans have been subjected to the most bizarre, grotesque and inhumane experiments imaginable - including electrocuting genitals, because it's not evil science without fried genitals.
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19537_the-7-stupidest-attempts-to-reinvent-batman_p2.html The Seven Stupidest Attempts to Reinvent Batman]]

->He keeps kicking me in the dick. Why?! ''Why does he keep kicking me in the dick?!''
-->-- '''Vegeta,''' ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''

->'''Goku''': Wow. I can't believe ''every single one'' of [the thousand Cooler clones] kicked you in the dick.\\
'''Vegeta''': (''high-pitched whimpering'')
-->-- ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''

->'''Franchise/{{Batman}}:''' So, you went after [[PerkyFemaleMinion Harley]], huh?\\
'''[[ComicBook/NormanOsborn Green Goblin]]:''' (''with a bomb strapped to his crotch'') Yeah. SelfDemonstrating/TheJoker tends to go for the really obvious jokes, doesn't he?
-->-- ''WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC''

->My only weakness! MY BALLS! How did you know?!
-->-- '''Unnamed pirate''', ''WebVideo/NonePiece''

->What is your problem with my balls?!\\
(''several groin attacks later'')\\
Why don't you just ''kill me?!''
-->-- '''Dexter Grif''', ''Machinima/RedVsBlue''

->What does this guy have against testicles?"
-->-- Characters/RoosterTeeth's '''Geoff Ramsey''', commenting on ''VideoGame/{{Uncharted}}'' and Nathan Drake's favourite combat move

->'''Geoff:''' Do you think word has gotten around the military yet about me? They're like, "dude, seriously, I heard there was this guy-"\\
'''Michael:''' Dick Puncherello.\\
'''Geoff:''' Johnson told me about it. He just fuckin' was like an animal, like, every dick he saw...\\
'''Michael:''' There was no dick left unpunched.\\
'''Geoff:''' Guys were running away like crazy, cupping their balls, in every direction.\\
'''Michael:''' Swanson thought he was safe in the latrine. That's when they got him!\\
'''Geoff:''' I'm not even kidding, dude. It was a dick massacre.\\
'''Michael:''' It was a horrible night.\\
'''Geoff:''' All I heard was the sound of grown men whimpering and sobbing.
-->-- Creator/RoosterTeeth's LetsPlay of ''VideoGame/SaintsRowTheThird'', in which Geoff declares war on genitals

-> [W]hy does every woman have to rip my penis off?
-->-- '''Jobe Wilkins''', ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'' [[spoiler: yes, this happened more than once; the second time, referred to here, was a prosthetic organ Jobe had created to replace the one detached by [[DealWithTheDevil Carmilla]] when she forcefully completed his accidental GenderBending transformation against his wishes.]]

->'''Splinter''': Don't make me have to pull out the Italian sausage on yo' ass!\\
'''The Shredder''': ''(gets kicked by Splinter)'' AUGH MY NUTS!\\
'''Raphael''': Damn, somebody's nuts just got fucked up!
-->--'''WebVideo/MyWayEntertainment''''s GagDub of ''WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]

->You're the goodest of heart and most righteous hero I've seen here. Tenderness! Ingenuity! Bravery! Nard kicking ability!
-->-- '''Mannish Man the Minotaur''', ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'', "The Enchiridion!"

->[[IceCreamKoan But master, does not the fire need water too? Does not the mountain needs the storm? Does not your scrotum needs kicking?]]
-->-- '''Beavis,''' ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead'', "Dream On"

->Stomp 'em in tha nutz! Stomp 'em in tha nutz! Stomp 'em in tha nutz!
-->-- '''Thugnificent''', ''WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks''

->You have been kicked in the testicles!
-->-- '''Bill''', ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill''

->But the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels!
-->-- '''Homer Simpson''' critiques the amateur film "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV1LWhNpTJU Man Getting Hit By Football]]," ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

->Ow my thingies!
-->-- '''Homer Simpson''', ''The Simpsons'', "Goo Goo Gai Pan"

->I say, I say, my groin!
-->-- '''Homer Simpson''', ''The Simpsons'', "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"

->Why do they always go for the kiwis? Why?!?!
-->-- '''Duncan''', ''[[WesternAnimation/TotalDramaIsland Total Drama Action]]'', "One Million Bucks, B.C."

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Real Life]]

->I grew up castrating hogs on an Iowa farm. So when I get to Washington, I'll know how to cut pork!
-->--'''Joni Ernst''''s [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9Y24MFOfFU "Squeal"]] ad

->Some chick came up to me and said something, so I kicked her in the box and shoved her.
-->-- '''Music/AvrilLavigne''', ''Maxim'' September 2004

[[/folder]]

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