->''"Those traitorous squirrels '''lacked the will to serve me!'''''"''
-->-- '''Random Spark'''

-> ''"We're in Castle Heterodyne with exploding collars around our necks, caught between a fake Heterodyne and a real one (as well as assorted criminals, maniacs, and various monsters), [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and I suspect that even if we found any beer in here, it would be evil, or at least flat."]]''
-->-- '''Othar Trygvassen''', ''GentlemanAdventurer!''

->''"I will DESTROY 'Her Undying Majesty' - melt what is left of your miserable island to SLAG - '''AND BOIL THE SEAS AROUND YOU FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND YEARS!'''"''
-->-- '''[[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20060306 Gil]]'''

->''"A good magician never reveals how a trick is done. An'' '''evil''' ''magician never leaves any evidence that there'' '''was''' ''a trick in the'' '''first place.''' ''So which am I going to have to be'' '''today?'''''"''
-->-- '''[[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20070115 Master Payne]]'''

->''"This has a small, but fascinating, chance of'' '''actually working! Let's do it!'''''"''
-->-- '''Agatha'''

->'''Tarvek:''' [[TheExtremistWasRight I am not]] '''''[[TheExtremistWasRight enjoying]]''''' [[TheExtremistWasRight this]] -- but I can do it '''''all day'''''! Understood?\\
'''Gil:''' *Snort*\\
'''Tarvek:''' What?!\\
'''Gil:''' Ha! That's a ''really good'' impersonation of [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure my father]]!\\
'''Tarvek:''' [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone ...]]\\
'''Tarvek:''' "...♥And'' '''now''' ''[[TakeThat I will establish an]] [[EvilOverlord illegitimate government]] based on brute force, which will eventually [[SketchySuccessor leave you under the heel of my debauched libertine of a son]].♥ So make sure to hide all the'' '''[[MaliciousSlander booze]] and [[UrbanLegendLoveLife women]]'''.♥ ''Oh,'' '''yes.'''''"
-->-- [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20091012 Tarvek and Gil summarize the Wulfenbach Empire]]

->''"Don't try to boggle'' '''me''' ''mister'' '''talking cat.''' ''This is'' '''Mechanicsburg.''' ''You are'' '''by no means''' ''the strangest thing in'' '''this''' ''town."''
-->-- '''Carson von Mekkhan'''

->''"There's more to being an evil despot than getting cake whenever you want it."''
-->-- '''Tarvek Sturmvoraus'''

->'''Doctor Yglyn''': Now! Are you prepared for the '''''dark rites''''' and '''''twisted oaths''''' of the Heterodynes?!\\
'''Agatha''': Am I?\\
'''Yglyn''': Oh. Ha! Sorry for the excess drama, I usually do the cathedral tour!\\
'''Agatha''': So...'''''dark rites?'''''\\
'''Yglyn''': Oh, my, yes! They '''''accumulate''''', you know!\\
'''Yglyn''': Some are purely ceremonial, but '''''some''''' utilize mysterious lost sciences to hold back '''''hideous extradimensional beings''''' that would '''''ravage our world!'''''\\
'''Agatha''': Well, I guess we'd better at least do '''''those'''''...\\
'''Yglyn''': Ooooh! You can tell the difference?! '''''Wonderful!'''''

->''"Look. It's very simple. Yes, she's '''''technically''''' dead. But it's kind of a '''''rolling death''''' thing--so she's not all the way '''''dead''''' dead."''
-->-- '''Tarvek'''