-> ''"Is this film more interesting than a documentary of the same actors having lunch?"''

-> ''"[[Creator/RogerEbert We]] don't '''pretend''' to disagree."''

-> ''"Who did you see in that scene? You saw the little girl, you saw the princess, and you saw the ripoff robot from ''Franchise/StarWars'', and you saw a hen. Well, you know what I liked most about the picture? The hen. I've said this before, I'll say it again: you know you're in trouble when your favorite character in the movie is a hen that only has a bit part."''
-->-- Discussing ''Film/ReturnToOz'' as one of the worst movies of 1985 on ''Series/SiskelAndEbert at the Movies''

->"If the third reel had been the missing footage from Creator/OrsonWelles[='=] ''Film/TheMagnificentAmbersons'', this movie still would have sucked."
-->-- In his review of ''Film/LittleIndianBigCity'', [[note]]The context is the last third of the movie for their screening was missing, and he and Ebert ended up having to watch that part later. As he remarked, though, by then nothing could have saved the movie.[[/note]]

-> ''"A film that aims low should not be praised for hitting that target."''
-->-- A rebuttal to Ebert's Law: "It's not what a film's about, but ''how'' it's about it."

-> ''"If you're going to go through the trouble of putting us in a monster movie, why don't you at least take the advantage of having the monster either eat or squash us?"''
-->-- Regarding his and Ebert's incarnations in ''{{Film/Godzilla 1998}}'', inserted by Creator/RolandEmmerich as a TakeThatCritics
----