->''"Oh crap, I'm late."'' [Opening line, episode 1]

->''"Ah, tick-tick-tock...is that the sound of a Geiger counter or my lifespan counting down? It's both! That's right, here at Black Mesa when we talk about [[TitleDrop Half Life]], we mean it in [[JustifiedTitle more ways than one.]] So make your peace and come to Black Mesa! ''*blasts zombie with shotgun*'' Here you'll win a chance to fight [[AliensAndMonsters freaks of nature]]; [[NoOSHACompliance escape countless safety hazards]]; [[DoorToBefore wander aimlessly for hours]]; and die scared, tired and alone!"''

->''"Okay, I rock. Now stop making me prove it!"''

->''"I know its obvious I'm a genius, but '''''[[SurroundedByIdiots is everyone else really this stupid?]]'''''"''

->''"Radiation is the gift that keeps on giving."''

->''"Give peace a chance! Or at least stand still!''"

->''"God; no matter how hard I try, I can never ignore gravity.''"

->''"I would feel bad about this, but morality is for people who don't have other people trying to kill them every five minutes.''"

->''"I'm on your side, you fucking idiots! How many of you do I have to kill before you understand that?!"''

->''"I actually don't hold a grudge against someone talking trash about me if they're shot afterwards. I try to rise above that and find my own peace."''

->''"I mean, there is no actual right to privacy, but it's implied by the rest of the Constitution...and this gun."''

->''"Is that an [=MP5=]? It '''is'''! Now I can solve up to 800 problems a minute!"''

->''"See, this is why I'm such a good theoretical physicist. I solve problems that shouldn't even exist to begin with." ''

-->--All of the above by '''Gordon Freeman'''
----