[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:The Ballad of the Demo of Freddy Pharkas]]
-->''When the West was wild and lawless,''
-->''There was once a druggist, brave and flawless,''
-->''Named Freddy Pharkas,''
-->''A champion through and through.''

-->''Now his life's the stuff of stories,''
-->''Of computer games with inventories,''
-->''Puzzles and graphics, and twisted humor too.''

-->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Showing you how the West was fun,''
-->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Pharmacist with a gun.''

-->''Freddy's fable is an earful:''
-->''Back when men were men and sheep were fearful,''
-->''Folks down in Coarsegold were headin' downhill fast.''

-->''Then a villain, spreading mayhem,''
-->''Comes to town and tries to scare away them,''
-->''Can Freddy save them, and reconcile his past?''

-->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Hiding out from his own dark youth,''
-->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Stands for justice and truth.''

-->''Now the game of Freddy Pharkas''
-->''Is from old Creator/AlLowe, who made his mark as''
-->''Dad and designer of [[VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry Larrys one through five.]]''

-->''But while Larry's slightly dirty,''
-->''Freddy isn't anywhere as nerdy,''
-->''Short, lewd or balding, nor pushing forty-five.''

-->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Digitized and in VGA.''
-->''Freddy Pharkas. Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Saddle up and let's play.''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:The Ballad of Freddy Pharkas]]
-->''He was born in old St. Louie,''
-->''By the age of four Dad knew he was the''
-->''Best little crackshot the West had ever seen.''

-->''By the time he reached pubescence,''
-->''He could outshoot all the adolescents''
-->''West of Durango and North of Abilene.''

-->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Famous gunslingin' deputy.''
-->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas,''
-->''Frontier hero-to-be.''

-->''Then one day young Freddy Pharkas''
-->''Stared at eyes as black and dark as Night, the''
-->''Eyes of an outlaw, well-known throughout the West.''

-->''Oh, the tough kid's name was Kenny,''
-->''And he outdrew Freddy Pharkas when he''
-->''Shot Freddy's ear off, to prove who was the best.''

-->''Now our hero, Freddy Pharkas,''
-->''With his wounded pride and earless carcass,''
-->''Vowed to the heavens to give up gunnery.''

-->''He'd be better off, he reckoned,''
-->''With the lifelong dream that always beckoned:''
-->''Pestles, not pistols, and pharmacology.''

-->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas,''
-->''Highest score on his S.A.T.,''
-->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas,''
-->''Five-year college degree.''

-->''After Fred matriculated,''
-->''Got his Ph.D. and graduated,''
-->''Moved out to Coarsegold and bought a pharmacy,''

-->''He's a real prescription writer,''
-->''And they don't know he's an ex-gunfighter,''
-->''Locked up his mem'ries, repressed them totally.''

-->''But his peaceful new survival''
-->''Soon was shot to hell upon arrival''
-->''Of Coarsegold's schoolmarm, the sweet Penelope.''

-->''She had captured Fred's affection,''
-->''But he's scared he'll get a huge... rejection,''
-->''Can't bear to tell her just what he used to be.''

-->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Frontier Pharmacist bourgeoisie,''
-->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Peerless, earless and free!''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:The Ballad of the End of the Game of Freddy Pharkas]]
-->''Now the whole town still remembers''
-->''How the old schoolhouse was blown to embers''
-->''Though Miss Primm's body was never, ever found.''
-->''Since the sheriff and the banker''
-->''Made the folks of Coarsegold red with anger,''
-->''They tarred and feathered and ran 'em out of town.''

-->''And Srini? He became an ordinary Rexall tepee shaman''
-->''Down on the Pecos, where Injun hearts still burn.''
-->''While the townsfolk, safe from danger''
-->''Talk about that silver-earlobed stranger:''
-->''Where did he come from?''
-->''And when will he return?''

-->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Black gold fields were his legacy.''
-->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.''
-->''Peerless, earless and free!''
[[/folder]]
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