[[folder: Schlock Mercenary]]

->'''Tagon:''' Headcount! There were three goons! Three! Where's the third one?\\
'''Schlock:''' Yum?\\
'''Narrator:''' Food that talks is not food, [[WhatMeasureIsAMook but the goon never said anything, so it's okay, right?]]
-->-- ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'', [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-03-07 March 7, 2004]]

->'''Schlock:''' PX guy wanted proof I needed all that food. Went on a binge then an' there.\\
'''Legs:''' That's never made you sick before. How much did you eat?\\
'''Schlock:''' Four bottles.\\
'''Legs:''' That's not very\\
'''Schlock:''' ...of concentrated solvent.\\
'''Legs:''' Perhaps you need to be a little more discriminating when you binge.
-->--''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'', [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-03-10 March 10, 2008]]

->'''Schlock''': I'm an [[BlobMonster amorph]]. Dinner isn't coming back up unless it can ''fight'' its way back up. Smutto is just corn and soy, it'll stay down.\\
'''Ebbirnoth''': It's not ''just'' corn and soy. It's also a bacteria colony fighting off a fungal infection. Smutto is a little of ''germ warfare'' disguised as a side dish.\\
'''Schlock''': Okay, sure. But the last time I had to spit something out it was an [[GreyGoo infection of nanobots]]. The Smutto I dropped down the hole is way out of its league.\\
'''Ebbirnoth''': You can eat ''anything'', then?\\
'''Schlock''': Amorphs are weird that way.
-->--''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'', [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-08-10 August 10, 2008]]

->'''Kathryn''': You eat your enemies as a ''fallback option''?\\
'''Schlock''': No. I eat my enemies ''when they are delicious''.
-->--''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'', [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-01-07 January 7, 2011]]

->'''Bunny:''' Sergeant, did you just drink medicine out of a bottle you found on the ground?\\
'''Schlock:''' Yes.\\
'''Bunny:''' I...I...\\
''[[[BeatPanel beat]]]''\\
'''Bunny:''' Okay, I guess I can't see how that could possibly be more dangerous than swallowing two armed men whole. As you were.\\
'''Schlock:''' And you humans call yourselves omnivores.
-->--''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'', [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-02-26 February 26, 2011]]

->'''Ebbirnoth:''' We need a word that means "omnivorous like a forest fire."\\
'''Schlock:''' When you find that word, I will eat it.
-->--''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'', [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-11-09 November 9, 2013]]



->''"Would it kill them to serve gemstones?"''
-->--'''Spike''', ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''

->''"I watched Marco eat some of the popcorn. I did as he did... The texture was rough and strange. And the flavor! It reminded me of a food called pizza. But there was just a hint of cigarette butts, which I also enjoy. Although Prince Jake had told me never to eat cigarette butts again. They are bad for you."''
-->-- '''Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill''', ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' #8

->''Ike says he found your luggage in the lobby. And he would like to apologize for eating your pants.''
-->-- '''Professor Quadrangle''', ''VideoGame/QuantumConundrum''

->You're right, it does look delicious.
-->-- '''The Cannibal''', ''VideoGame/SwordOfTheStars II: Lords of Winter'', when targeting an enemy, be it spacecraft or planet

->"Yeah, that's real fine expensive gear you brought out here, Mr. Hooper. 'Course I don't know what that bastard shark's gonna do with it. Might eat it, I suppose. Seen one eat a rockin' chair one time."
-->-- '''Quint''', ''{{Film/Jaws}}''