[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]
->''"I would rather fail spectacularly than succeed minimally."''
-->-- '''ComicBook/LexLuthor'''

->'''Black Widow:''' Clint.\\
'''Hawkeye:''' I know--\\
'''Black Widow:''' You have the army after you and no health and you're falling out of a crashing plane.\\
'''Hawkeye:''' I ''know'', Nat.\\
'''Black Widow:''' It's a bass fishing simulator, Clint.\\
'''Hawkeye:''' ''I know!'' It just-- it just ''happens!''
-->--''ComicBook/LokiAgentOfAsgard'' #1
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film - Animated]]
->''"You missed! How could you miss? He was three feet in front of you..."''
-->-- '''Mushu''' to ''WesternAnimation/{{Mulan}}'' ([[ExactlyWhatIAimedAt who didn't miss]])
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film - Live-Action]]
->''"You missed! ''[[ATeamFiring With a cannon!]]''"''
-->-- ''Film/Tremors4TheLegendBegins''

->'''Principal:''' Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even ''close'' to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.\\
'''Billy Madison''': Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine.
-->-- ''Film/BillyMadison''

->''"Bested by a girl, who never held a Lightsaber?! '''[[SuddenlyShouting YOU FAILED!]]"'''''
-->-- '''Supreme Leader Snoke''' to Kylo Ren [[Film/TheForceAwakens following his defeat]], ''Film/TheLastJedi''

->''"I believe in Santa Claus! I believe in the Easter Bunny! I believe in the Tooth Fairy! But I don't believe in you! This is battery acid, and now you disappear!"''
-->-- '''Eddie Kaspbrak''', ''Film/It1990''. [[NoSell It doesn't disappear.]]

->''"[[MemeticMutation Ah]], '''[[{{Understatement}} mediocre!]]'''"''
-->-- '''Immortan Joe''', ''Film/MadMaxFuryRoad''

->''"You know, it's amazing. You are 100% wrong. I mean nothing you've said has been right."''
-->-- '''Kermit''' to '''Creator/PeterFalk''', ''Film/TheGreatMuppetCaper''

->'''Mike Nelson:''' ''[after mangling and freeing the Hubble Telescope from the Satellite of Love]'' Now, to release it... gently... like a sparrow into the night sky...\\
'''Crow T. Robot:''' [[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} Good night, sweet Hubble. May a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest]]...\\
''[Hubble floats away a few feet, hangs there... then drops out of frame, complete with snapping wires SFX]''\\
'''All:''' GAH!\\
''[Hubble soars to Earth and ignites into flames]''\\
'''Crow:''' Oh, ''good one'', Mike!\\
'''Mike:''' [[ArtisticLicenseSpace Well, how could it do that? It couldn't possibly--]]
-->''Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000TheMovie''

-> ''"For someone who has elevated [[PrecisionFStrike fucking up]] into an art form, this might well be your Mona Lisa."''
-->-- '''Wallace Westwyld''' ''to Derek Danforth, after discovering that [[OhCrap the latter just pissed off a Beekeeper.]]'', ''Film/TheBeekeeper''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
->For pure, vacillating stupidity, for superb incompetence to command, for ignorance combined with bad judgement — in short, for the true talent for catastrophe — Elphy Bey stood alone. Others abide our question, but Elphy outshines them all as the greatest military idiot of our own or any other day. Only he could have permitted the First Afghan War and let it develop to such a ruinous defeat. It was not easy: he started with a good army, a secure position, some excellent officers, a disorganised enemy, and repeated opportunities to save the situation. But Elphy, with the touch of true genius, swept aside these obstacles with unerring precision, and out of order wrought complete chaos. We shall not, with luck, look upon his like again.
-->-- ''{{Literature/Flashman}}'', on [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_of_Elphinstone%27s_Army Elphinstone's Defeat]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
->''"I can't get over that; how do [submariners] ''hit'' a ''mountain?''"''
-->-- '''Adrian Monk''', ''Series/{{Monk}}'', "Mr. Monk Is Underwater"

->''"A spokesman said, 'This is the one thing we didn't want to happen.'"''
-->-- '''Chris Morris''', ''Series/BrassEye'', on accidentally [[PaedoHunt stranding a young boy in outer space with a pedophile]]

->'''The Doctor:''' Two thousand people on board, six billion below, all dead. And why? Because Max Capricorn's a ''loser!''\\
'''Max Capricorn:''' I never lose!\\
'''The Doctor:''' You can't even sink the ''Titanic!''
-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[Recap/DoctorWho2007CSVoyageOfTheDamned "Voyage of the Damned"]]

->''[Clara opens the cell door and barges in]''\\
'''Eleventh Doctor:''' ...how did you do that?\\
'''Clara:''' [[WeHaveTheKeys Wasn't locked]].\\
'''Eleventh Doctor:''' ...right...\\
''[{{beat}}]''\\
'''Clara:''' ''[dumbfounded]'' ''Three'' of you, in ''one'' cell, and '''''none of you''''' thought to try the door?!\\
'''War Doctor:''' It should have been locked!
-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[Recap/DoctorWho50thASTheDayOfTheDoctor "The Day of the Doctor"]]

->'''[[spoiler:Skye]]:''' You think I'm an ''alien''? Why didn't you tell me?\\
'''Coulson:''' I didn't want you to freak out.\\
'''[[spoiler:Skye]]:''' Well guess what? ''Epic fail''.
-->-- ''Series/AgentsOfSHIELD'', on something Coulson's suspected for half the series.

->''"We don't have any fucking chicken, we don't have any more Wellingtons, we don't have any fucking lettuce! We haven't served any food! How could we be out of ''anything''?!"''
-->-- '''Sous Chef Scott''', on a particularly bad service, ''Series/HellsKitchen''

->''"BZZZT! Wrong answer! That's what the kids call 'Epic Fail'."''
-->-- '''Saul Goodman''', ''Series/BreakingBad''

->''Which brings us onto the next award, which -- yes, you'll like this -- it's for "Accidentally Filling Up The Petrol Tank of a Supercar with Water" Award. How, ''in the name of all that is '''holy,''''' did you do that?''
-->-- '''Jeremy Clarkson''' awarding '''Richard Hammond''' the award in question, ''Series/TheGrandTour''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
->''"Why can't my successes ever be as spectacular as my failures?"''
-->-- '''Jason''', ''ComicStrip/FoxTrot''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Radio]]
->'''Jack Hitt:''' This is a fiasco, and what's really interesting about a fiasco is once it starts to tumble down the audience wants to push it further along.\\
'''Ira Glass:''' Oh, they get hungry for more fiasco. If the play proceeded perfectly they would've been disappointed.\\
'''Jack Hitt:''' Oh, it would have been a grave disappointment had not been just one more mistake after another, one more embarrassment after another. Now the reason they're there is to chronicle these embarrassments.
-->--'''Radio/ThisAmericanLife''', ''[[https://www.thisamericanlife.org/61/fiasco-1997 Fiasco]]''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Sports]]
->''"Hey, Browns! Mike Polk, season ticket holder. Killer game in Houston today! Well thank god we built [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FirstEnergy_Stadium YOU.]] What a blessing for the community! You are wasting valuable space on [[UsefulNotes/{{Cleveland}} our majestic shoreline]], and what do we get out of it from you?! Ten miserable games a year, including two preseason games that I have to pay for, and one shitty Music/KennyChesney concert! Do you understand that [[MindScrew it is statistically harder for a team to be this consistently bad than it is for them to occasionally, accidentally be good?]] The probability is staggering! Did you happen to see that Packers/Chargers game today?! It's like they're playing a different ''sport'' than you are! And here's what you have to understand: We don't even expect you to be good! We just want you to be watchable! Do you have any idea how low our expectations are?! We don't expect you to win the UsefulNotes/SuperBowl, we just want you to look better than ''a division III high school team!'' And listen, [[LampshadeHanging I know that]] [[SkewedPriorities there are way more important things in life than football]]...but you are supposed to be our pleasant distraction from those things! But all we do is [[DespairEventHorizon pay you money to put us in a bad mood every week]].\\
...\\
...\\
...\\
'[[MemeticMutation YOU ARE A FACTORY OF SADNESS!]]\\
...'I'll see you Sunday."''
-->-- '''Mike Polk''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRBDMMVctu8 The Factory Of Sadness (A Cleveland Browns Fan's Reaction To Today's Game Against Houston)]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
->''"The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_Times_Square_car_bombing_attempt Times Square Incident]] wasn't a terrorist attack, it was a Creator/JimCarrey movie. The terrorist locked the keys to the safe house he was going to escape to in the carbomb. And I love that he locked the carbomb. 'Nobody's getting my iPod.' Then he left the keys to the carbomb hanging out of the tailgate of the carbomb, and built the carbomb out of fertilizer that wouldn't explode. I have been doing comedy for 25 years and I have never been that funny."''
-->-- '''Creator/ChristopherTitus'''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theatre]]
->''"Alexander... Congratulations\\
You have invented a new kind of stupid\\
A damage-you-can-never-undo kind of stupid\\
An open-all-the-cages-in-the-zoo kind of stupid\\
'Truly, you {{didnt think this through}}?' kind of stupid."''
-->-- '''Angelica Schuyler''' in ''"Congratulations"'', a CutSong from ''Theatre/{{Hamilton}}''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
->''"It's pretty impressive that you put so many ingredients into a dish and it came out tasting like nothing."''
-->-- '''Kanji Tatsumi''' on [[LethalChef Yukiko]]'s omelet, ''VideoGame/{{Persona 4}}''

->''"Somehow you've [[NonstandardGameOver died during]] the [[VideoGameTutorial introduction training exercise]]. Feel free to try again but this doesn't bode well for your mission."''
-->-- ''VideoGame/FTLFasterThanLight''

->''"You didn't kill ''any'' of them!"''
-->-- '''The Administrator''' to the victims of a FlawlessVictory, ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2''

->''"Is-Is that even possible?!?"''
-->-- '''Random Mii''' in ''VideoGame/TomodachiLife'' after an account of a NoodleIncident in the kitchen.

->''"Not a single Golden Egg? Maybe I should have made you [[ReadTheFreakingManual read the training manual]]."''
-->-- '''Mr. Grizz''', ''VideoGame/Splatoon2'' Salmon Run mode

->''"?! You didn't get a single one?! [[LampshadeHanging Did you do that on purpose?]] Well... I suppose that is impressive in its own way, but I have to say, I'm still pretty disappointed..."''
-->-- '''Red Gearmo''' if you don't collect a single Purple Coin in Tall Trunk Galaxy, ''VideoGame/SuperMarioGalaxy2''

->''"Fixed bug: [[GameBreakingBug Game crashes when breaking a block]]"''
-->-- '''''VideoGame/{{Minecraft}}'' Snapshot 19w38b''', released only a few hours after Snapshot 19w38a.

->''"[[SarcasmMode CONGRATULATIONS!]] You Just Lost Your Sponsors!"''
-->-- ''VideoGame/DaytonaUSA'' (Saturn version, if you run backwards into a dead end in Dinosaur Canyon)
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Animation]]
->''"You had ''one'' job."''
-->--''WebAnimation/HistoryMatters'', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1VoMLwb_oA "What Happened When Kamikaze Pilots Failed or Wimped Out?"]]

->''[Caboose throws a spike grenade at the wall they are using for cover]''\\
'''Washington:''' That was the worst throw. Ever. Of all time.\\
'''Caboose:''' Not my fault. Someone put a wall in my way.
-->-- ''WebAnimation/RedVsBlue''

->'''Emperor:''' I roll to charm him as to convince him to let us hide in his carts.\\
'''Magnus:''' Right, roll charm skill test.\\
''[The Emperor rolls [[SmashCut and...]]]''\\
'''Celestial Shaman Queen:''' My child, you look like dung and I hate you. Please let us hide in your carts for WE ARE FUGITIVES!''\\
'''Magnus:''' Your rolls are consistently amazing.\\
'''Emperor:''' THIS IS WHY CHAOS MUST DIE.
-->-- ''Tabletop Adventures Special,'' ''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]
->''"Téodor, we had hoped you would shine during the cooking event, but you folded with a focus and intensity normally seen only in successes."''
-->-- ''{{Webcomic/Achewood}}'', [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212006 June 21, 2006]]

->''"Wow, Fighter. You don't half-ass screwing up, do ya?"''
-->-- '''Black Mage''', ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

->'''Myrtle:''' All ''you'' see is a single word on an empty page. What ''I'' see is the first step on a glorious journey to create an epic of literary excellence!\\
'''Penny:''' You spelled "the" wrong.\\
'''Myrtle:''' You don't -- that's not -- look, typing is ''hard'', okay??!
-->-- ''WebComic/FauxPas'' [[http://www.ozfoxes.net/cgi/pl-fp2.cgi?130]]

->'''Mr. Ishiguro:''' I gave him a make work job! His job was to do nothing! How can a person mess up a job to do nothing?
->'''Blunt:''' Your uncle. Is a talented. Man."
-->-- ''WebComic/{{Freefall}} [[http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff2800/fc02727.htm]]

->''"How do you get a note from the teacher on the last day of school?"''
-->-- '''Mrs. Summers''', ''WebComic/LeastICouldDo [[http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20110612/ Beginnings]]''

->''"I hardly think you're in a position to doubt my son's dragon credentials when your job is to conceal something that genuinely doesn't exist, and you discover a way to ''fail'' at it."''
-->-- '''Llewellyn''' [[http://ozyandmillie.org/2000/07/07/ozy-and-millie-424/ on the UFO conspiracy]], ''WebComic/OzyAndMillie''

->''"I'M DOING 1000 CALCULATIONS PER SECOND AND THEY'RE'' '''''ALL WRONG"'''''
-->-- ''Webcomic/ShenComix''

->'''Boar:''' Tora, something is wrong here.\\
'''[[TheAlcoholic Tora:]]''' Whaddya mean?\\
'''Boar:''' Well, for starters, you're drunk.\\
'''Tora:''' But I got us home, so?\\
'''Boar:''' That's just it...\\
''(last panel depicts a car hanging out a window of a high-rise apartment)''\\
'''Boar:''' The suite isn't on ground level.\\
'''Tora:''' Your point?
-->-- ''Webcomic/WhiteDarkLife'', "[[http://pommyman.deviantart.com/art/Drunk-Driving-With-Tora-340238678 Drunk Driving with Tora]]"

->''"'''How''' do you manage to make ''a poltergeist'' by ''accident?!''"''
-->-- '''Myla''' upon learning that Eric's father, [[GadgeteerGenius Miles "Tails" Prower]], created an electronic poltergeist in a failed attempt to repair a clock, during [[http://comments.deviantart.com/1/492892383/3814453116 the "Scaredy fox training" roleplay]] of ''Webcomic/WhiteDarkLife''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
->''"[=MagiCans=] were ordinary-looking Coke cans that had a mechanism inside that popped out a gift certificate or cold hard cash to the drinkee. What could go wrong with that? Short of filling the damn things with poison, the promotion was a guaranteed success. Too bad Coke [[WhoWouldBeStupidEnough pretty much filled the damn things with poison]]."''
-->-- '''{{Website/Cracked}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20975_the-5-biggest-disasters-in-history-marketing-pt.-4.html "The 5 Biggest Disasters in the History of Marketing (Part 4)"]]

->''"One fathom[[note]](about six feet)[[/note]] down, and one foot more, in sunken wrecks are found\\
The bones of brave and fearless men the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eerie_Canal Eerie canal]] has drowned."''
-->-- '''Al Duvall''', ''[[http://alduvall.bandcamp.com/track/one-fathom-down One Fathom Down]]''

->''"As most of you know, the only way you get kicked out of ''[[{{Series/Jeopardy}} Final! Jeopardy]]'' is if you tell Alex Trebek to eat shit and if you end up with a negative score. Well, last night, two out of three contestants ended up in the red. This is some ''[[Series/SaturdayNightLive Celebrity Jeopardy SNL]]'' skit shit... All of us are Stephanie, pretty much. [[ThisLoserIsYou We're all at -$6,800.]]"''
-->-- '''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/03/13/hot-slut-of-the-day-586/ Michael K.]]''', "Kristin, the sole survivor of last night’s disastrous episode of ''Jeopardy!''"

->''"Their best defensive back ([[DamnedByFaintPraise not saying much]]) was [[BananaPeel injured by a pizza]]. Take all that into account, and somehow losing 12 games is the most tolerable experience for any Washington fan... This organization can keep an eternal dumpster fire going not matter what the elements throw at them. They are superhuman."''
-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-washington-redskins-1719717871 Drew Magary]]''', "Why Your Team Sucks 2015!: Washington Redskins"

->''"Just after the birther bullshit was definitely ended, he offers to give five million dollars to charity if President Obama will release his college and passport records. Donald Trump just offered to ''[[ViolationOfCommonSense rent the president]]'' and honestly didn’t see any problem with that. He can’t imagine anyone refusing to give up their dignity for money because [[AintTooProudToBeg for him that’s free money]]. Trump is so stupid, he's the first businessman to try to influence Washington with millions of dollars and ''fail''."''
-->-- '''Luke [=McKinney=]''', "The Creator/DonaldTrump [[http://lukemckinney.net/2014/02/13/the-trump-endurance-experiment/ Endurance Experiment]]" (take into account that Trump eventually managed to '''''become''' the president'' for a while...)

->''"[=DeathOnAStick=] is a ''VideoGame/NetHack'' player. They are famous in the ''[=NetHack=]'' community for their year-and-a-half-long game on nethack.alt.org, from 2004-04-17 to 2005-11-27. They spent much of this time arduously polypiling rocks into gems and collecting pet giants to carry the abundant bags of gems for them.\\\
After killing the Wizard of Yendor on dungeon level 1 and despite already being at Experience level 30, they drank a potion of gain level found on its corpse. It was cursed, as it turned out.\\\
Upon reaching the Plane of Earth, they desperately checked their inventory, and indeed they were carrying no gems. At this point, they [[HeroicBSOD went idle for 38 seconds]]. A few of their entourage of giants had been close enough to be dragged into the Planes with them, but they were either killed off or left behind at the inter-plane portals. Ultimately, the only gems [=DeathOnAStick=] had at their ascension were 2 dilithium crystals."''
-->-- '''[[http://nethackwiki.com/wiki/DeathOnAStick NetHackWiki]]'''

->''"...Poverty Pie ...consists of the cheapest graham cracker crust you can find covered in a smattering of the cheapest whipped cream you can buy. As a side note, you never want to have someone [[PieInTheFace slam one of those in your face]]; the aluminum foil that makes up the 'pan' is so thin that it bends into what amounts to a dagger. If you don't think I know what I am talking about, just look and my chin sometime; there's a small scar to prove my point.\\
Yes, I was actually injured in a PIE MATCH. Sadly, no one was there to throw up the dreaded X to abort the thing."''
-->-- '''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/induction-saturday-morning-slam-thanksgiving-pie-eating-contest-sugar-rush-sugar-rush-sugar-crash/ "Sugar Rush! Sugar Rush! Sugar Crash..."]]

->'''jncos:''' i didn't know it was possible for a cat to drink water the wrong way but somehow my little buddy figured it out\\
'''jncos:''' i'[m going to have to draw [[https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/yes_it_is_possible_for_a_cat_to_drink_water_the_wrong_way.jpg a diagram]]
-->-- found (typos and all) on Tumblr

->''"Dreamworks? She's a five year old girl. If you can't sell a five year old girl a cartoon [[AllGirlsLikePonies with horses]], you have FAILED. You have failed more totally than it should be possible for human beings to fail. You have created a masterpiece of ineptitude. ''You broke the damn scale.''"''
-->-- '''Blog/UnshavedMouse''', on his daughter getting bored by ''WesternAnimation/SpiritStallionOfTheCimarron''

->''"In an ideal world, an assassination should not end with you flat on your back with malaria while your target holds your gun, reads your orders to you, and then makes fun of you for being useless."''
-->-- '''Internet Movie Firearms Database''', [[http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Far_Cry_2#Star_Model-P discussing]] ''Videogame/FarCry2''

->''"You may make mistakes, but at least they're usually not 'we can see your mistake from space' bad"''
-->-- '''[[https://twitter.com/thesheetztweetz/status/1374763361200607235 Michael Sheetz]]''', on the Suez Canal grinding to a halt due to a stuck vessel
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Video]]
->'''Creator/GavinFree:''' Oh, where did [the heart] go? Where did it go?\\
'''Creator/MichaelJones:''' You just threw it against the wall ''like a wet paper towel!''
-->-- [[Creator/AchievementHunter "Rage Quit"]], ''VideoGame/SurgeonSimulator2013''

->''"''E.T.''! Yes, the dreaded ''E.T.'', made almost 20 years after the supposed "[[VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial worst game of all time]]" on the Atari 2600. But would you believe -- I shit you not -- this version is ''far worse?'' Imagine playing ''[[{{VideoGame/Excite}} ExciteBike]]'' blindfolded, with the controller held upside-down, coated in rubber cement while seated on a wild bull."''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on ''Ride/UniversalStudios Theme Park Adventure'' for the Gamecube

->''"I lost to [[{{Jobber}} Glass Joe]]. I LOST. TO '''[[WarmUpBoss GLASS JOE]].'''"''
-->-- '''The Angry Video Game Nerd''' on playing ''Mike Tyson's VideoGame/PunchOut'' with the Power Glove

->''"Let me ask you something: How'd you get killed by a motherfucking paralyzed Tailow? It's ''paralyzed'' and it's a fucking ''sparrow!''"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/JonTron''', ''WebVideo/GameGrumps'' [[note]]To be fair, Taillow's ability makes it stronger when it's afflicted with a status problem.[[/note]]

->'''[[Creator/{{Egoraptor}} Arin]]:''' You just lost ALL your money! You just lost ALL your money!\\
'''[[WebVideo/JonTron Jon]]:''' [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption If I can't be the BEST,]] I sure as hell can be the WOOOOORRSST!
--> ''WebVideo/GameGrumps'', ''VideoGame/YouDontKnowJack'', Episode 2.

->[[[TheHyena in-between fits of laughter]]] ''"We have [[WebVideo/GameGrumps a video game show]] that we [[SelfDeprecation do for a living]]...!"''
--> [[Music/NinjaSexParty Danny Sexbang]], in the middle of a long string of embarrassing deaths, [[VideoGame/ShovelKnight Shovel Knight Co-Op]], [[https://youtu.be/yGXnIOeGkx0 Part 18]]

->'''Jay:''' Music/RebaMcEntire! She flubs the ''national anthem.''\\
'''Steve:''' Awful, by the way. The crowd booed her, and the announcers had to cover for her. That's quite sad.\\
'''Jay:''' Shame they didn't bring in her non-union Mexican equivalent... [beat] ''Ariba'' [=McEntire=]. I'll get my coat.
-->-- ''WebVideo/OSWReview'' [[http://oswreview.com/media/oswreview28/ on]] ''Wrestling/{{WrestleMania}} VIII''

->''"[The Greeks] managed to rout Darius himself and defeat his army. And the problem was that since Darius was so sure of his chances, he brought his family along with him to watch his assumed triumph. So when things didn't quite go to plan, his enemies suddenly had his wife and children as hostages. Oops."''
-->-- '''Blue''', ''WebAnimation/OverlySarcasticProductions''

->'''[=ChipCheezum=]:''' ''[as the player failed to capture a Pidgey and is bringing the Pikachu's health down]'' Your Pikac is about to die! ''[gets taken out]''\\
'''General Ironicus:''' ''[incredulous]'' It-It-It got knocked out! The Pi...\\
'''[=ChipCheezum=]:''' You lost at ''Pokemon''! It's like at the beginning of the game! You got owned by a Pidge! ''[Ironicus just busts out laughing]'' Now, go select your Pok.
-->-- ''WebVideo/{{Retsupurae}}'', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1oVnDboM10 WHO IS A POKEMON IN THIS CRAZY WORLD]]

->''"Music/{{INXS}}. [Music/{{Train}}] were trying to sound like INXS. [They] were trying to emulate one of the sexiest bands of all time, and instead... wrote "Hey, Soul Sister"... My god! That's like if you tried to make scrambled eggs and instead you caught syphilis! How does that level of failure even exist!?"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows'''

->''"There are speedruns [of this game] on [=YouTube=] in ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DcCIgGF9_U under a minute]]''. YOU CALL THAT GOOD PROGRAMMING?!"''
-->-- [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TINvUbTdt4k UrinatingTree's]] review of the Genesis port of ''Dark Castle''

->'''LetsPlay/InTheLittleWood:''' So my aiming's on par with Sjin's, then.\\
'''[[LetsPlay/HatFilms Smith]]:''' (by now clearly frustrated) Well, it's less about the aiming, and more about just-\\
'''LetsPlay/{{Sjin}}:''' ''Seeing him.''\\
'''Smith:''' Blatantly not seeing him walk by you.
-->-- The LetsPlay/{{Yogscast}}, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0T1C5-pkE8#t=143 "Say My Name"]], filmed in ''VideoGame/GarrysMod VideoGame/{{Murder}}''

->''"You know, even in my wildest dreams, I thought this couldn't ''possibly'' go this poorly..."''
-->-- '''WebVideo/JonTron''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF9YDLOmCjM TURDUCKEN CHEF]]''

->''"This dumbass Ashford ''accidentally'' created ''[[ZombieApocalypse a virus that would raise the dead]]'' trying to cure ''paralysis''! ''Keep him the fuck away from science''! I don't think they're on good terms!"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Phelous}}''' in his review of ''Film/ResidentEvilApocalypse''

->''"One day the Cabal decided they'd had enough of [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot that old Civil War-era zombie cowboy]] who'd been kicking around for a full century after [[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu killing their God]]. They decided to make [[{{BFG}} a really big fucking gun that tears holes in the fabric of reality to kill things]] for this purpose. They somehow failed so completely and utterly at the "kill people" part that every time they tried to use it against that zombie cowboy, they actually somehow [[UnexplainedRecovery brought his friends back to life]]."''
-->-- LetsPlay of ''VideoGame/{{Blood}} II: The Chosen'', [[https://youtu.be/hdPMFyql1MU?t=155 on]] the Singularity Generator

->''"It's like you're watching a carpenter hammer his thumb repeatedly, while complaining about the fact [[NeverMyFault that he didn't buy any nails]]."''
-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Caddicarus}}''', on ''Series/GamingInTheClintonYears''

->'''Kurahashi''': The time has come to settle the Jingweon incident.\\
'''[[VideoGame/{{Yakuza}} Kiryu]]''': Don't tell me you're a survivor as well.\\
'''Kurahashi''': I am.\\
'''Kiryu''': This is yet more evidence of the [[{{Yakuza}} Tojo Clan's]] incompetence. They went there to kill everyone. But I'm not convinced they actually managed to kill ''anyone''.
-->--''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYk17y2JOBc Ryu ga Gotoku 2 Parody]]''

-> '''Crewmate''': Captain, we have reached the island!
-> '''Captain Bones''': Why do you insist on fabricating these fibs? I do not see not an inch of land within our vicinity!
-> '''Crewmate''': I saw it, with my own lack of two eyeballs! Take a gander through the spyglass!
-> '''Captain Bones''': [looks through telescope] ...That is a cardboard box. You are an absolute dipstick in every sense of the word, and I cannot fathom how you make a mistake like this.
-> ''{{Beat}}''
-> '''Crewmate''': [[InsaneTrollLogic I was looking through the wrong end of the telescope.]]
-> '''Captain Bones''': ''[[[DestinationDefenestration hurls the crewmate into the sun]]]''
-->-- [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zOm-tJ2rLk an odd voyage]]

-> "I need to find a new word other than 'inept,' because the sheer bumbling incompetence is so authentic in its out-and-out idiocy, that I'm find it difficult to even put into words how insulting and inappropriate this is. Not one, not a ''single one'' of the nitwits who wrote the script, directed the sequences, checked over the dailies of Will Arnett grabbing the dog's puppy-makers, or even anyone who had a passing knowledge of these scenes, thought that this was a bad idea enough to cut it out of the movie."
-->-- '''WebVideo/IHateEverything''', ''"[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU5RfnROb-Q Show Dogs (2018) - THe Search for the Worst]]"''

->"I'm gonna call it a [[CreatorKiller career killer]] anyway, as have most people, because ''Paula'' bombed like nothing else has ever bombed in the history of bombs. We've seen big names fail to debut at #1 and throw public fits about their low numbers, but if they had seen sales as low as ''Paula'''s, they'd melt like [[Film/TheWizardOfOz the Wicked Witch]]. If [Music/RobinThicke] ever has a hit again, it'll be a goddamn miracle, because ''Paula'' failed on every level possible. Was supposed to save his marriage and continue the upward momentum of his career, and all it did was firmly end both while cementing everyone's impression of him as a weird, unlikable creep."
-->-- '''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''', ''Trainwreckords'', "[[Music/RobinThicke Paula]]"

->"I'm kind of awestruck at how many levels "[[Music/KatyPerry Swish Swish]]" failed on. Imagine failing to outdiss "[[Music/TaylorSwift Bad Blood]]", failing to outflop "[[Music/{{Reputation}} Look What You Made Me Do]]", and failing to outchart both all in one day. That's astounding. Katy got into a fist fight, went for a gut punch only to trip and fall on her own face, and then when she got up, saw that Taylor had fired a cannon into her own face and turned that into a viral video. Katy was just not able to compete on any level."
-->-- '''Habitual Bee''', comment on WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows's ''Trainwreckords'' episode on ''[[Music/KatyPerry Witness]]''

->''You had one job, you didn't do it right\\
Now Robert's gonna roast you tonight\\
You better not be lazy or we're gonna see it\\
And we'll make fun of you''
-->-- '''[[https://m.youtube.com/@RobertIDK RobertIDK]]'''[='=]s "YOU HAD ONE JOB" ThemeTune
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]

->'''Mr. Herrera:''' I'm going to give you little bastards just 10 seconds to come up with a sentence in Spanish, and if you can't, you're both going to the principal's office and you're both flunking! Well, I'm waiting!\\
'''Butt-head:''' Uhh...uh, renda pora blahblahblah Rico Suave.\\
'''Beavis:''' Uh, Taco Supreme!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead''

->'''Rarity:''' I didn't know you could... burn ''juice''.\\
''[Later, [[LethalChef Sweetie Belle]] presents a bowl full of a bubbling, black liquid.]''\\
'''Rarity:''' Ugh... Let me guess, applesauce?\\
'''Sweetie Belle:''' Nope, toast.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''

->''"That failure was ''spectacular,'' even for me!"''
-->--'''Dr. Doofenshmirtz''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb''

->''"The soup is cold and the salad is hot. How is that even ''possible?!''"''
-->--'''Dr. Eggman''', ''WesternAnimation/SonicBoom'', "Chez Amy"

->''"How bad you got to time your punches for a blind nigga to see you coming, Granddad?"''
-->-- '''Riley Freeman''', ''WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks''

->(After Detective Crunk and a random drunk guy in an alley get blown up, the doctors attempt to rebuild him...)
->'''Doctor:''' Feast your eyes!
->(It's revealed that they made [[{{Understatement}} a small mistake]] and rebuilt the wino instead)\\
'''Police Captain:''' You rebuilt the wino?!
->'''Doctor:''' Most advanced wino ever made!
->'''Police Captain:''' What about Detective Crunk?!
->'''Doctor:''' Oh, you wanted us to rebuild the ''cop''.
->'''Police Captain:''' Damn it!
-->-- ''Series/WonderShowzen'', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67YfJyc_rew "WinoBot"]]
[[/folder]]

%% No Real Life examples.

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