->''"On the other hand, there were proper ways of entering a library. He waddled over to the shelves and selected Humptulip's seminal work ''How to Kille Insects''. All 2,000 pages of it."''
--> -- '''Creator/TerryPratchett''', ''Discworld/MenAtArms''

->''"...there is an ever-increasing body of opinion which holds that the Ultra-Complete Maximegalon Dictionary is not worth the fleet of lorries it takes to cart its microstored edition around in."''
--> -- ''Literature/LifeTheUniverseAndEverything''

->''"No wonder the Fantasy section has reinforced shelving."''
--> -- '''''{{Unshelved}}''''' [[http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060723 on]] ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire''

->''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'' is three books long, and each book is as long as three books!
--> -- '''Marco''', ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}''

->"''A big book is a big evil.''"
--> -- '''Callimachus''', poet and catalogue writer of the Library of Alexandria

->''I do not know how successful "The Kindly Ones" was, how close I got or how far I came from what I set out to say. Still, it's the heaviest of all of these volumes, and thus, in hardback at least, could undoubtedly be used [[ImprovisedWeapon to stun a burglar]]; which has always been my definition of [[TrueArt real art]].''
--> -- '''Creator/NeilGaiman''', afterword to ''ComicBook/TheSandman'' Volume 9.

-> ''How long is [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows this one]]? Because I've promised to read the whole thing to my son. I read him the last one, ''Harry Potter and the Structurally Reinforced Bedside Table''.
--> -- '''Hugh Dennis''', ''Series/MockTheWeek''.

->[[UsefulBook "I like a thick book because it will]] steady a table, a leather volume to strop a razor and a heavy book to throw at the cat."
-->-- '''Creator/MarkTwain'''

->"You decide to consult with the Colonel's bottomless wisdom. Good grief this thing is huge. It could kill a cat if you dropped it."
-->-- '''''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'''''

-> ''Do you realize this adventure is nearing 5000 panels? And now we have to watch you [[Webcomic/{{Jailbreak}} flounder around in a jail cell]] for god knows how long? Exactly how many panels do you want this to go on for? [[MemeticMutation Over 9000]]? Nobody wants that. Nobody even wants to hear the phrase "over 9000."''
-->-- '''''[[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} Homestuck Again]]'''''

-> ''If attention span was dead, Creator/JKRowling wouldn't be selling paperbacks thick enough to choke a pig, and Creator/NealStephenson wouldn't be making a living off books the size of the first bedsit I lived in.''
--> '''WarrenEllis''' in notes to ''DoktorSleepless'' #6

-> ''I want to unwind, not read a book that's longer than Rapunzel's pubic hair!
--> '''[[Series/RedDwarf Arnold Rimmer]]''' on ''Literature/WarAndPeace''
----