->''"On the other hand, there were proper ways of entering a library. He waddled over to the shelves and selected Humptulip's seminal work ''How to Kille Insects''. All 2,000 pages of it."''
-->-- '''Creator/TerryPratchett''', ''Discworld/MenAtArms''

->''"... there is an ever-increasing body of opinion which holds that the ''Ultra-Complete Maximegalon Dictionary'' is not worth the fleet of lorries it takes to cart its microstored edition around in."''
-->-- ''Literature/LifeTheUniverseAndEverything''

->''"No wonder the Fantasy section has reinforced shelving."''
-->-- '''''{{Unshelved}}''''' [[http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060723 on]] ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire''

->''"''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'' is three books long, and each book is as long as three books!"''
-->-- '''Marco''', ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}''

->''"A big book is a big evil."''
-->-- '''Callimachus''', poet and catalogue writer of the Library of Alexandria

->''"I do not know how successful ''The Kindly Ones'' was, how close I got or how far I came from what I set out to say. Still, it's the heaviest of all of these volumes, and thus, in hardback at least, could undoubtedly be used [[ImprovisedWeapon to stun a burglar]]; which has always been my definition of [[TrueArt real art]]."''
-->-- '''Creator/NeilGaiman''', afterword to ''ComicBook/TheSandman'' Volume 9.

->''"How long is [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows this one]]? Because I've promised to read the whole thing to my son. I read him the last one, ''Harry Potter and the Structurally Reinforced Bedside Table''."''
-->-- '''Hugh Dennis''', ''Series/MockTheWeek''.

->''"[[UsefulBook I like a thick book because it will]] steady a table, a leather volume to strop a razor and a heavy book to throw at the cat."''
-->-- '''Creator/MarkTwain'''

->''"You decide to consult with the Colonel's bottomless wisdom. Good grief this thing is huge. It could kill a cat if you dropped it."''
-->-- '''''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'''''

->''"Do you realize this adventure is nearing 5000 panels? And now we have to watch you [[Webcomic/{{Jailbreak}} flounder around in a jail cell]] for god knows how long? Exactly how many panels do you want this to go on for? [[MemeticMutation Over 9000]]? Nobody wants that. Nobody even wants to hear the phrase "over 9000"."''
-->-- '''''[[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} Homestuck Again]]'''''

->''"If attention span was dead, Creator/JKRowling wouldn't be selling paperbacks thick enough to choke a pig, and Creator/NealStephenson wouldn't be making a living off books the size of the first bedsit I lived in."''
-->-- '''WarrenEllis''' in notes to ''DoktorSleepless'' #6

->''"I want to unwind, not read a book that's longer than Rapunzel's pubic hair!"''
-->-- '''[[Series/RedDwarf Arnold Rimmer]]''' on ''Literature/WarAndPeace''

->''"So if any of you hear someone pronounce her name [[Creator/JKRowling "Rohw-ling"]], you have my permission to hit them over the head with not with [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix Order of the Phoenix]], that would be cruel. Something smaller, like a fridge."''
-->-- '''Creator/StephenFry'''
----