->''Anyway, dogs make good pets because they are very loyal. (NOTE: When I say "loyal," I mean "stupid." I once wrote a column in which I said dogs are stupid, and I got a lot of nasty mail from people who insisted, often with misspelled words, that dogs are intelligent. Perhaps from their point of view dogs are intelligent, but I don't want to get into that here. I'll just stick with "loyal.")''
-->-- '''Creator/DaveBarry''', ''The Problem with Pets''

->''1. "Bark!"\\
2. "Time to eat!"\\
3. "Bark! Bark!"\\
4. "Here's an object! I'd better pee on it!"\\
5. "Or have sex with it!"\\
6. "Bark! Bark! Bark!"\\
7. "Mmmm! Crotch!"\\
8. "Time to eat again!"\\
9. "Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!"\\
10. "Bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark!"''
-->-- ''Creator/DaveBarry's Money Secrets'', "The Ten Basic Dog Thoughts"

->''Is this the dumbest dog in America? People screaming and dying all around him and he's standing there like he wants to be burned alive.''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick''', on Boomer in ''Film/IndependenceDay''.

->''My name is Runt, but my master calls me Stupid. What a nice guy!''
-->-- '''Runt''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}''

->SCRRREEEEECCCCHHH! A car slammed on its brakes and missed me by a couple of feet. A couple of feet! I mean, if the driver had been one millisecond slower to hit the brakes, I'd have been roadkill. But my complete dog-brain reaction to that near-death experience was, "Cool! I smell something!"
->[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I'm totally serious]]. The fact that [[TheNoseKnows I smelled some other dog's pee on a curb]] was about ten thousand times more interesting to my dog brain than the squealing car was.
-->--''Literature/{{Animorphs}} #10: The Android''

->''I don't think a dog,''
->''Has a brain in his head.''
->''You'd never see me,''
->''Doing dumb things like that''
->''Because I'm really smart.''
->'''I am a cat.'''
-->-- ''There's a Dragon in my Wagon'', "Dogs Are Dumb"

->'''Owen''': Sometimes it's so nice to sit and think.
->'''Dingo''': Yeah.
->''Beat panel''
->''Beat panel''
->'''Dingo''': I'm actually just sitting.
-->-- ''Owen Comics'', [[http://owencomics.com/comic/just/ just]]


->Yippie-tie-yi-yo, stay awake little doggie!\\
I wish you could sing but I know that you can't\\
Yippie-tie-yi-yo, stay awake little doggie!\\
The sunshine is bright but I know that you aint.
-->-- ''Literature/HankTheCowdog'': "Slim's Boring Song"
----